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Talk to Me!

Communication is the Root

Like a speaker is hard-wired for sound, humanity is hard-wired for connection and without genuine communication that connection will never develop the strength it needs to stand tall. It’s so unfortunate that so many thoughts are left unsaid and because of that so many relationships break down and/or fall away.

Communication is the root to that feeling when you connect with someone on a level that feels beautifully isolated from outside effect. All connections have a different feel because your connection with one is never the same as your connection with another, they are always individually unique which is relative to the phrase of how each person holds a special place in your heart. As unique as the person, so is your connection with them, no two are alike.if only you knew

Every relationship carries different meaning, challenges, love and connection but all are as strong as the foundation they are built on. Authentic, direct and meaningful communication enhances, feeds and nourishes that foundation but without it the foundation will get weak.

Personally, I prefer authentic, direct and meaningful, I don’t like it when others speak in code or indirectly mislead, it’s a little too sneaky for my liking and having to decipher a hidden meaning or agenda just doesn’t appeal to me. If your communication is like this then you likely aren’t experiencing the true connections that your soul needs and are causing your own undernourishment. I think you will find much more of what your soul needs if you listen to your inner voice, it is your own personal compass, it is connected to the Universe and it will always guide you toward authenticity.

Everyone communicates differently and learning to understand and respect how each of those unique people in your life communicate with you will be a benefit that will help to prevent barriers and/or walls that sometimes pop up due to misunderstanding.

How I communicate and understand is different from everyone else and vice versa so I can’t very well expect that someone should understand my point of view just by an explanation that makes sense to me unless of course it also makes sense to them. While I do believe that everyone communicates and understands differently, there are times when we find a connection that travels on the same wavelength, kind of like tuning in to the same frequency. It doesn’t mean that it will always be that way for everything I think it just means you’ve found a common ground in a specific area.

It is those areas of common ground that the foundation of understanding begins which opens up the opportunity for unique connection. We all seek to connect with others because it provides us with balance, understanding, meaning and validation that we matter somewhere in this life. The more people you connect with the more your cup will runneth over because these true connections are the lifelines that feed your soul and your soul needs this form of nourishment to feel balanced, whole and at peace.

Listening is the counterpart of communicating and just as important, as is awareness to hearing what is not being said. I know that may sound a little confusing but I think that a lot of times when we feel we aren’t being heard, we stop communicating altogether and if you are struggling to communicate with someone that may be shutting down then you’re foundation may be in jeopardy and the strength and root of your common ability to communicate from the beginning will either build or break it.

I think “way back when” as in 60-100 years back, communication wasn’t recognized for the gem it clearly is. Connection wasn’t within the realm of awareness that it is now because the value of communicating and listening wasn’t realized. I believe people live longer these days not because as we all hear “life was harder way back when” but because the soul is receiving more nourishment by way of fulfillment through connection.

connectin

 
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Posted by on September 29, 2014 in Blog

 

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What You Can Become!

Closing the Gaps

It’s not how long you live, it’s what you do with the time you are here! If you want or expect positive experiences and blessings to occur you must make room for them to manifest and exist in your life. Pursue them with everything you’ve got and rest only when you are satisfied!successful mindset

Quote by Leonardo da Vinci:

“It has long since come to my attention that people of accomplishment rarely sat back and let things happen to them. They went out and happened to things.”

It starts with you!

  • Do you really want what you desire?
  • Or do you believe that it should come to you?

These are the defining questions that determine the ultimate direction of your life and your desired goals.

Positively speaking; if you really want what you desire you will go after it without any thought other than success. You must believe in yourself and your goal wholeheartedly and when your belief is this strong there is no room for anything other than success. Everything I have put my heart, mind and soul into has been successful and not for any other reason than that I left no room for any other result. Your belief can actually produce the result and if this sounds crazy to you then put it to the test, I dare you!

Keep in mind that the belief must be felt within every fibre of your being, you cannot half-heartedly pretend to believe in something and in the back of your mind not believe it as that is counter-productive and the reason it WILL fail.

Negatively speaking; if you believe what you desire should come to you then you are already in the wrong frame of mind and the one that will not manifest anything other than an increase in that negative thinking. Intention and attitude are everything when it comes to manifesting your goals and dreams. Appreciation and gratitude for all that you have been blessed with so far is the only way to change a negative frame of mind. If you think or believe that you’ve just not been given the opportunities you deserve I hope that you already see and realize that you are blocking yourself. There is an abundance of opportunities but when you don’t have appreciation for the little things you end up building a wall around you that prevents you from ever seeing the bigger things you have access to.

The same statement as above applies here as well except in opposite effect. If you are unable to connect or tap into the abundance that the Universe has to offer it is because you believe within every fibre of your being that it should come to you. Good Luck with that!

Yes there are times when what we work toward doesn’t go as we may have envisioned but in my experiences I’ve discovered that it has always led me to something better. Even though a vision changes or is changed for another reason I still view it as success because it takes me in a direction that I never considered and it’s always a better fit for me. I believe that what we envision and the directions we seek to go in are ultimately and divinely guided by the Universe and I have no reason to question that. I know the Universe is a force of all things positive and there is no better reinforcement than that.

Everything I have been taught from the time I can remember through every experience has provided me with the incentive I need to passionately pursue what I desire without pause. If you really want something, you go for it, bottom line!

Words are great, they can be inspiring and motivating, but actions are what prove the words true!

actions, words

 
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Posted by on September 4, 2014 in Blog

 

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The Seeds of Doubt

Grow the Spaces to Disconnection

When seeds of doubt pop up in your relationships questions then follow, distance is created when those questions go unaddressed and/or unanswered.  Loss of connection is akin to loss of trust, loss of faith or loss of hope as they all create spaces that eventually make up the distance that creates the loss of connection.

Communication is the greatest protector against these losses because it builds the bridge that always keeps those you cherish close.  Acknowledgement and validation nurtures those loved and helps them to continually grow and evolve with you in symbiotic harmony.

Some of my experiences have been that the dedication is not met on an equal level and the result is moving on.  That doesn’t mean this is a bad thing because not everyone in our lives are meant to be with us for lifetime, some are there to help through transition, to help teach a specific lesson or to motivate change.

We are all different from each other and right down to every cell of our being as it is necessary to create the human experiences we provide for each other and connectively.  Some hurt or elate more than others but from those feelings come wisdom, experience, growth and eventually inner peace.

Is it lost forever?  I really don’t think it is or has to be but like trust, faith or hope it has to be rebuilt and rebuilding usually takes much more work and dedication.  It really depends on the strength of the foundation and if it manifested organically or began from falsehood.  Intention is everything!

I do believe that everyone deserves the chance to show you who they are but trying to change what they show you may or may not be you setting yourself up for disappointment, depending on your perspective.

  • Do you always tackle the impossible in the hopes to change what is?
  • Are you drawn to the impossible so you won’t have to really connect and feel vulnerable?
  • Is the dynamic you constantly find yourself in a reflection of your formative year’s environment?

All three of these questions could have easily been my unrealized mantra.  We all have behaviours that we are consciously or subconsciously predisposed to and there are probably a variety of reasons as to why we allow them to have controlling interest in our lives.

Can we change it?  Absolutely yes!

Anyone at any time can change any behaviour or aspect of their life into a positive direction that provides a happier and more stable state of being.  If you cannot envision the result you want to see that doesn’t mean you can’t make it happen but if you do not believe in it or in yourself then it is your belief that will manifest the outcome.  This includes the seeds of doubt and any communication that has broken down, determination and the willingness to make the effort is necessary for success.  Anything worth having, is worth working for!

I know for myself that when it comes to pursuing something I envision to occur in my life, I do not stop until I’ve exhausted every avenue and all possibilities.  If something does not go according to my vision I’ve found that it leads me in a different and better direction than I had ever considered.  I do not believe in failure, something that doesn’t go as you want doesn’t mean you failed because it usually directs you to something better as long as you are open to it.  That has been my experience every time!

I continue to strive to attain devotion and honesty in addressing the seeds of doubt when they arise, not everything needs to be over-dramatized but at the same time if it matters to you, it matters; and if it matters to you, it should also matter to those you cherish and vice versa.

At the end of the day you know within if you gave it your all, if you left no stone unturned, and that’s what allows you to look in the mirror and be content.

a life that matters

 
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Posted by on August 27, 2014 in Blog

 

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Defining Moments

What Matters Most!

There comes a time in your life, when you walk away from all the drama and people who create it. You surround yourself with people who make you laugh. Forget the bad and focus on the good. Love the people who treat you well, pray for the ones who don’t. Life is too short to be anything but happy. Falling down is a part of life, getting back up is living.

There are actually quite a few defining moments, at least that’s what I’ve found so far and I’m sure there are more to come. It’s like the big “aha” and I really do look forward to those moments because with them comes enlightenment, it’s the ultimate pulling back of the curtain and showing you exactly what’s behind it, things don’t get much clearer than that.

They really make you realize what matters most and for me that has always been the simpler aspects of my life, even though it hadn’t occurred to me prior to that. Sometimes we really do complicate our lives by getting too caught up in things that really don’t impact our lives in the way that we may initially believe and getting yourself wound up is almost never a viable solution.

There are many people that are meant to come into, stay and/or leave our lives, all for a reason and all for a certain time period (long or short) and I believe that all are meant to teach and help us to grow into our destiny. We all aren’t a perfect fit for one another collectively because we are all so different, some people we click with and some people we definitely don’t and at some point in our lives (which is different times for everyone) we grow either together or apart. I do believe that what matters most to each of us is a defining moment, it is a moment or a series of moments that start you on a different path. A path that attracts you to, or to you, people that may not have captured your interest before. Even though those people may have always been meant to come into your life, until you gained the experiences that brought you here the shared interest may not have developed.

All experiences change us in some way and even though some of them aren’t as desirable as others they are necessary to teach us to recognize that which we do not want in our lives.people, actions

There comes a time in your life, when you walk away from all the drama and people who create it: I’m not a fan of the drama, my normal is and has always been direct, say what you mean and definitely mean what you way. In my opinion, actions have always been the true window to the soul.

You surround yourself with people who make you laugh: This is essential for me, I thrive on the hilarious, even at the expense of myself. If you can’t laugh at your own foibles then you are definitely missing out, humor can be a bonding experience.

Forget the bad and focus on the good: It doesn’t matter how badly something has been as long as you allow yourself to feel it and let it go. If you consistently carry your bad baggage forward into your future you will never find happiness.

Love the people who treat you well, pray for the ones who don’t: The ones who treat you well truly have your best interest at heart, there is no personal gain besides your placement in their life. For those who don’t, I think best to offer a blessing for enlightenment in the hopes that they find connections that inspire them to do better.

Life is too short to be anything but happy: As much we may believe that our human existence is long, it’s really not, time flies by pretty fast and too often time is wasted on being disappointed, upset and unhappy. Find the things, the people that inspire and motivate your passion and even though life still goes by fast, at least you will feel like you did something valuable with your time.

Falling down is a part of life, getting back up is living: Fall down seven times, get up eight! Don’t ever believe that just because you erred, fell down or feel you failed that it means you are done for. The fact is that it gives you the opportunity to rebuild something to your liking, maybe tweak it a bit better than it was so it suits you instead of you trying to suit it.

I believe that if you find that which inspires and motivates your passion then what matters most isn’t too far off from there.

Always pursue your greatest desires in life. I think at the end of your life you will be more disappointed by the chances you didn’t take than the ones you did.

chances not taken

 
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Posted by on August 13, 2014 in Blog

 

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Say What You Mean and……..

Mean What you Say!

Your actions are how you really feel, your words are the smoke screen that masks those feelings.

It seems simple really to say what you mean but people rarely do so and when it comes to honest communication I think many of us are afraid to voice our real thoughts. Some hold back because they don’t want to hurt the other and some hold back because they lack the courage to tackle the conflict ahead.

The only way to truly get to the bottom of any communication snag is open and honest communication and while it may feel difficult to find the right words I believe that as long as your communication comes from a sincere and compassionate place there isn’t anything that can’t be resolved.

Resolution means that an understanding has been reached not necessarily that a relationship goes back to its previous state. When resolution is required it is because somewhere along the lines something occurred to change the dynamics of the relationship, not all changes are good and not all changes are bad but it is these such changes that could have permanence in how the relationship works.

Sugar coating the words to ease tension isn’t any kind of good solution, everyone inherently knows when they are in the wrong in any given situation and pretending like it’s ok and/or sweeping it under the rug creates two problems.boundaries

  • It sends the message that the behaviour is acceptable and “please continue, I do not have healthy boundaries”.

 

  • Conversely it may send the message that they aren’t important enough in your life for you to be honest.

If you’re not saying anything to avoid hurting someone than this action is counterproductive to your efforts because you are hurting them anyway. Not every advice or constructive criticism is easy but if you really want to see the best occur for others than those not so comfortable conversations sometimes need to take place.

Regardless of your own reasons for not saying what you mean or meaning what you say, it does more damage than good when you hide your true feelings and everyone involved is already aware of the elephant in the room, the words just haven’t been vocalized.

All of us handle conflict and change differently, some better than others and some not but conflict is a necessary part of life and without it we wouldn’t learn how to properly transition ourselves through adversity but hopefully we learn to do so with a little bit of grace.

I’ve had a lot of difficulty in this area of life and I think that’s mostly because I’m not sure I can articulate something clearly enough, that it may be misunderstood and defensiveness or anger can result and because I feel my words may be too honest and/or harsh.

The very real issue with holding back is that it creates distance in the relationship and with time that distance grows until the connection is no longer there and what do you do then? I guess that depends on the foundation and stability of a relationship from the beginning, what the common thread was that held it all together. If that thread is based on something strong and whole like respect, honesty and integrity than relationships can survive the challenges but if the foundation is weak and solely supported by only one that is actively nurturing it than it is very likely to crumble.

One of the most damaging things that can occur in relationships is saying something that you don’t mean out of anger. Our words can be just as damaging as our actions, if not more, the phrase “think before you speak” is the most important mantra you could ever instill in your mind because once the stone is thrown you can never take it back. If you feel you are in a mind space that you know is affecting you negatively then it is not the best time to have any kind of discussions that require you to have an open mind or heart. There’s a huge difference between loving and honest communication and spewing nasty words out of spite.

The foundation of all relationships is trust, trust that you can allow others to see your vulnerable side and trust that they won’t use it against you.

It takes years to build trust with others and only moments to destroy it!

Don’t be that person! Build trust and value it, communicate honestly and mean it, actively nurture your coveted relationships and appreciate what you’ve been blessed with so far.

communication

 
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Posted by on July 30, 2014 in Blog

 

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Bankruptcy of the Soul

Why We Do the Things We Do

It is during the times when your soul is feeling bankrupt that you may make uncharacteristic errors in judgement and behaviour.

Filling a void with more emptiness when you don’t know where the disconnection in your soul is puts you out of sync. You can waste a lot of time searching for the answer and it’s quite likely that you’re looking in the wrong areas of life, provided that you’ve made this realization and you’re looking at all.

When we are out of sync we distract ourselves with other things and fill the void in the area that we believe is incomplete when in actuality it’s an entirely different area so we end up cycling through the same life occurrences over and over until we finally see the light. Hopefully the over and over part doesn’t occur too many times, my experience with this cycle has been that it starts with a thought that something is off, then becomes a whisper that gets louder and louder and then you get thumped when you get too far off path.the stone after it's thrown

If your life occurrences are connected to loved ones it can get really damaging if you get to the point of getting thumped because you can’t turn back time.

When you are unaware that you are bankrupt in one or some areas of your emotions you may be constantly making bad choices and wondering why you keep running up against so much resistance. Or you could be giving away all of your emotions to others and depleting yourself because you believe your cup is already full not realizing that it isn’t bottomless and you’re filling the wrong glass.

When you are giving and giving and giving but don’t have someone replenishing your resource you are essentially going bankrupt emotionally. Our emotions are the nurturance that feeds and replenishes the heart and soul, if those emotions become depleted there is nothing left to feed you and that is when your areas in need are easier to identify. Sometimes you need to go to your lowest point to be able to help yourself, to pick yourself back up again and it can be done!

Brokenness from the past can build walls and disruption in the present and carry through to your future. Sometimes it’s the inconvenient truth that you have to face and acknowledge that helps you step into the person you are meant to be. It takes courage to get into the down and dirty to find the truth of you, what makes you happy, what makes you sad, what makes you!

Past hurts can manifest by either acting out or retreating which are two very different actions but both usually occur as a result of some sort of inner emotional hurt. Even though acting out is outwardly damaging it is usually more for the purpose of being seen and/or heard and while it’s never a great experience for anyone at least the emotions have been released. I believe that retreating, bottling things up is more damaging to the soul because the emotions do not get released in the process that they should, they just get compiled and compiled downward.

The best process is healthy communication because it provides relief and release of the emotional hurt but you do have to feel the pain, it is the only way to effectively let things go. Even though you may believe that by carrying past hurt around with you every day that you are feeling the pain, you actually aren’t, the pain that is with you daily is the feeling of limbo because the real hurt hasn’t yet been acknowledged or resolved. Release through whatever means is imperative to your physical health, bottled up pain creates a field of negative energy inside you that will continue to grow until its nourishment is cut-off.

Everyone comes into our lives for a reason, a purpose, sometimes they are meant to stay for a lifetime and sometimes only for a season but all bring with them some sort of learning experience that is important enough to cross your path. The Universe has a way of creating the openings needed to usher those in and the endings necessary to carry them out. All are blessings, some more disguised than others, but you are given the opportunity to develop faith, awareness and insight all of which will help you to navigate your path.

everything is a miracle

 
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Posted by on July 6, 2014 in Blog

 

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A Beautiful Story

And a Great Reminder

I received the below as an email and there is a notation to indicate that it is a true story but whether or not it actually is, the story itself is emotionally inspiring.

I do believe that occurrences like these exist and that if something is meant to be, it will be.

It is a great reminder of how “Everything does happen for a reason” and that the Universe works in very divine ways.

*********************************************

The brand new pastor and his wife, newly assigned to their first ministry to reopen a church in suburban Brooklyn, arrived in early October excited about their opportunities. When they saw their church it was very run down and needed much work. They set a goal to have everything done in time to have their first service on Christmas Eve.

They worked hard, repairing pews, plastering walls, painting, etc., and on December 18th were ahead of schedule and just about finished.

On December 19th a terrible tempest – a driving rainstorm hit the area and lasted for two days.

On the 21st the pastor went over to the church. His heart sank when he saw that the roof had leaked, causing a large area of plaster about 20 feet by 8 feet to fall off the front wall of the sanctuary just behind the pulpit beginning about head high.

The pastor cleaned up the mess on the floor and not knowing what else to do but postpone the Christmas Eve service, headed home. On the way he noticed that a local business was having a flea market type sale for charity so he stopped in. One of the items was a beautiful, handmade, ivory colored, crocheted tablecloth with exquisite work, fine colors and a Cross embroidered right in the center. It was just the right size to cover up the hole in the front wall, he bought it and headed back to the church.

By this time it had started to snow, an older woman running from the opposite direction was trying to catch the bus…….she missed it.  The pastor invited her to wait in the warm church for the next bus 45 minutes later.

She sat in a pew and paid no attention to the pastor while he got a ladder, hangers, etc., to put up the tablecloth as a wall tapestry. The pastor could hardly believe how beautiful it looked and it covered up the entire problem area.

Then he noticed the woman walking down the center aisle, her face was like a sheet…..”Pastor,” she asked, “where did you get that tablecloth?” The pastor explained. The woman asked him to check the lower right corner to see if the initials, EBG were crocheted into it there, they were. These were the initials of the woman, and she had made this tablecloth 35 years before, in Austria.

The woman could hardly believe it as the pastor told how he had just gotten the Tablecloth. The woman explained that before the war she and her husband were well-to-do people in Austria.

When the Nazis came, she was forced to leave, her husband was going to follow her the next week.  He was captured, sent to prison and she never saw her husband or her home again.

The pastor wanted to give her the tablecloth; but she made the pastor keep it for the church.  The pastor insisted on driving her home, that was the least he could do…..she lived on the other side of Staten Island and was only in Brooklyn for the day for a housecleaning job.

What a wonderful service they had on Christmas Eve, the church was almost full.  The music and the spirit were great, at the end of the service, the pastor and his wife greeted everyone at the door and many said that they would return.

One older man, whom the pastor recognized from the neighbourhood continued to sit in one of the pews and stare, and the pastor wondered why he wasn’t leaving.

The man asked him where he got the tablecloth on the front wall because it was identical to one that his wife had made years ago when they lived in Austria before the war and how could there be two tablecloths so much alike.

He told the pastor how the Nazis came, how he forced his wife to flee for her safety and he was supposed to follow her but he was arrested and put in prison…..he never saw his wife or his home again all the 35 years in between.

The pastor asked him if he would allow him to take him for a little ride.  They drove to Staten Island and to the same house where the pastor had taken the woman three days earlier.

He helped the man climb the three flights of stairs to the woman’s apartment, knocked on the door and he saw the greatest Christmas reunion he could ever imagine.

It stated at the bottom of the email that this was a true story and that the notation as follows was from Pastor Rob Reid which I believe was with regard to the woman from the story that made the blanket:

God does not work in mysterious ways…..I asked the Lord to bless you as I prayed for you today, to guide you and protect you as you go along your way. His love is always with you, His promises are true, and when we give Him all our cares you know He will see us through. So when the road you’re travelling on seems difficult at best……just remember I’m here praying and God will do the rest.

*********************************************

buddha quote with elephant

 
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Posted by on July 3, 2014 in Blog

 

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