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What do you REALLY think?

How do you REALLY feel?

I think these are the most important questions to ask yourself and of course the answers are just as important. If something doesn’t FEEL right then it probably isn’t the best choice for you.

Pay attention to what your gut tells you and heed its warnings always! Believe me that’s advice I didn’t always take myself, there are so many choices I’ve made that have gone against what my better judgement was telling me but unfortunately I wasn’t always good at listening and this is something I’ve worked hard at to change.

Your inner spirit, higher self, however you want to refer to it, knows the best path for you and when you continually make choices that go against how you REALLY think and feel that voice, that light, gets dimmed. Strangest thing is you know inside when you are doing it and a lot of times the reason for compromising is for the sake of others and how they think or feel and honestly I don’t know if others really understand how much of yourself you are damaging with these kinds of compromises.moving forward

Standing your ground for what you REALLY think or feel is important not just for yourself but for the purpose of creating solid boundaries to protect the beautiful spirit that is YOU so that others know you value yourself. You teach others how to treat you by modelling how you treat yourself and if you continually compromise and walk all over yourself than others will too.

Expressing yourself isn’t supposed to be something that is shunned but rather celebrated because you like everyone else deserve to be celebrated, each of us in our own way. Difference isn’t weird or awkward, it is unique and individual. As much as I enjoy participating in group efforts I still like to create and celebrate my own uniqueness by putting my personal stamp on things I do or create. Not for any other reason except to celebrate my own individuality and uniqueness that is totally me. I don’t want to be a clone of anyone else and I wouldn’t want anyone else to feel like they needed to be exactly like me or someone else because each one of us has a QUALITY that is their unique personalization.

Too often I think compromise happens as a result of feeling like the responsibility falls on your shoulders to make the compromise out of duty or inferiority or because somewhere along the line you’ve developed or been told you are inferior, YOU ARE NOT!

It is time to take back your power! Standing your ground does not mean you are an awful person, it means you respect and love yourself enough to say “that doesn’t work for me that way”. Make the effort to find another way that suits your THOUGHTS and FEELINGS better, because those thoughts and feelings affect your inner spirit, probably more than you realize.

If another is offended by your lack of compromise, that is a good indication of that individual’s intention, which in my opinion is not in your best interest. Anyone who has yours and their best interests in mind is going to be willing to find an alternative that works for both of you, which speaks volumes of their respect for themselves and for you.

How do you take back your power if you’ve been giving it away for so long? I wish I had a simple, quick fix answer for this but it requires personal reflective work. Looking back, finding where you let go/gave away your personal power and determining how that change manifested in your life.

Finding where things changed is the start, after that it’s finding out why it changed, what changed in you that let this happen and how do you get back into your power?

When you approach these questions you are already half way there because acknowledgement and acceptance are the first steps. Finding out where the disconnect was that caused this change and repairing that will help guide your power back to you. Learning what the triggers are that cause you to disconnect and compromise yourself is the key to never losing your power again.

Most of the issues that cause changes like these are connected to your emotions and while emotions are not easily controlled they can be managed. Understanding how your emotions react and learning to recognize your triggers will be your best asset for that management so you don’t lose or give away your personal power to others ever again.

Once you’ve identified all of these aspects, the healing begins and your power returns.

If at any time you feel like your power is slipping, check in with yourself, go to friends or family who can help boost your energetic levels back to where they should be.

Always remember that you deserve to be happy, anyone that tries to dispel that doesn’t necessarily need to be a part of your life. Those that have your best intentions in mind will always promote your higher self and inspire you to go toward what makes you happy while walking alongside you.

Letting go of people or things that no longer have a positive place in your life is your way of saying “I am doing what I need to do to make my life positive and fulfilling”.

Only YOU can make that change and if you are feeling less than inspired I believe it’s a change YOU need to make.

making space

 
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Posted by on July 29, 2015 in Blog

 

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Simply the Basics!

An Integral Part of Life

There were so many before us that passed forth great wisdom for the purpose of making the world a better place. Below is a poem that was recently given to me, I had not seen it before but so much of the content resonated so strongly that I wanted to share it. It’s a really good wake-up to the call of your higher self and the real importance of this life.

If – Poem by Rudyard Kipling (1865 – 1936)

If you can keep your head when all about you

Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,

If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,

But make allowance for their doubting too;

If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,

Or being lied about, don’t deal in lies,

Or being hated, don’t give way to hating,

And yet don’t look too good, nor talk too wise;

If you can dream – and not make dreams your master,

If you can think – and not make thoughts your aim;

If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster

And treat those two imposters just the same;

If you can bear to hear the truth you’ve spoken

Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,

Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,

And stoop and build’em up with worn-out tools; 

If you can make one heap of all your winnings

And risk it all on one turn of pitch-and-toss,

And lose, and start again at your beginnings

And never breathe a word about your loss;

If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew

To serve your turn long after they are gone,

And so hold on when there is nothing in you

Except the Will which says to them: “Hold on!”

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,

Or walk with kings – nor lose the common touch,

If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you,

If all men count with you, but none too much;

If you can fill the unforgiving minute

With sixty seconds’ worth of distance run,

Yours is the Earth and everything that’s in it,

And – which is more – you’ll be a Man, my son!

My take away from this poem is the value and importance of integrity, holding your head high in good times and in bad, keeping yourself from getting lost in the emotional aspects of life that are there to teach you your greatest and most difficult lessons. All the while remembering that which you came from and honoring your true self without giving in to fear. Trusting wisely but not loosely the value of all your relationships, specifically those that are properly balanced.

Nothing of great value or importance was created in a day, patience and hard work whether it takes longer than you’d like is always rewarded.

truth, honesty, integrity

 
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Posted by on July 22, 2015 in Blog

 

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Follow Your Vision

What You See Is What You Get!

What you think about most is what you are embracing and implanting into your subconscious and conscious mind whether you realize it or not. The key to cultivating positive experiences in your life is to begin cultivating them with your thoughts.

Your self-talk is important, you must first believe in yourself, you must have faith that the Universe has a plan for you and then allow that plan to manifest knowing it is for the betterment of your higher self.

follow your dreams

Having a clear vision of what you expect to see manifest in your life is the ace in your pocket. My vision has always been clear to me, sure there are some alterations along the way that change the course at times but I never get so far off that I lose sight of my vision. There are times when my vision changes in perspective, sometimes life’s joys and/or upsets change the view but I believe that these changes are meant to be, they are meant to shape you so you fit into the Universe’s plan for you.

What you See is What You Get:  I think it is important to really allow this thought to sink in.

You can tell yourself what you want to see but if you really don’t believe it yourself then you can forget about seeing it manifest in your life. It’s not just about saying the words, it’s about taking the actions making what you see start to take a form. You must know that feeling when you begin taking action of any task, you start to see it take shape and before you know it you’re half way to completion. That feeling is inspiration, followed by momentum to see it through and what follows are the rewards of success for your accomplishment. This is the format that exists in everything, it is purely passion, passion to move in desired direction, passion to power through the rough patches, passion to pursue that which you know you can attain and passion to succeed. You must know you that you can do anything you put your heart and mind into.

Sometimes getting to the other side of success can feel overwhelming, sometimes enough to make you question your abilities and/or goals:

  • What do I do now?
  • How do I maintain?
  • Have I reached my potential?

Here’s what you do:

  • Enjoy it
  • Relax a little
  • Marinate the next ideas of change you desire

There’s always another mountain to climb, there’s always another challenge ahead and there is never a dull moment because inspiration is always available. Don’t paint yourself into a corner and say there’s no way out, there is always a way out, you will find your best answers within your imagination.

Imagination is not just for kids, the only reason kids access is more is because they aren’t jaded, they are uninhibited and unwilling to accept that there is something they can’t do or try.

I think a lot of us limit our vision because life itself seen through the eyes of negativity is clouded but when you change that view and realize that there are no limits I think you would be amazed at what you can accomplish!

enlightenment-quote

 
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Posted by on July 8, 2015 in Blog

 

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Forgive & Appreciate Your Way Back to Happiness!

Letting Go for Your Own Freedom

Don’t tell me how many battles you’ve won, tell me how many people you’ve forgiven!

I’m not sure who wrote this quote but I read it recently and it resonated with me immediately. My first thought was “Yes, that’s it exactly!” and the next thought was to wonder how many people are afflicted daily by the emotional prison that they trap themselves in as a result of not being able to embrace forgiveness.

Of course this isn’t to say that your emotional hurt is invalid but rather that it’s not necessary or fair to your inner spirit to carry it around with you like the badge of horror it can be. When you are unable to cross the line into forgiveness it doesn’t affect anyone as much as it does you. I think many people have a variety of reasons for holding on to a painful memory and while I’m sure the reason is valid it doesn’t mean it’s not having a negative effect on your life. It doesn’t mean the person you hold it against is being impacted in any way whatsoever and it doesn’t mean that by holding onto it that eventually retribution will come.

Forgive: stop feeling angry or resentful toward (someone) for an offense, flaw or mistake 

Easier said than done, believe me I know! When someone hurts you deeply it’s not just the emotional pain of the hurt but the emotional attachment you have to the person that has hurt you.

People you don’t have any attachment to can’t hurt you so much because they lack that personal connection. Those closest to you know where your soft spots of vulnerability are and you know theirs but it is because of a mutual trust that neither of you intentionally try to use them against each other. It is when trust is broken that hurt happens and that hurt can carry you into the mode of defense which raises your guard. The only thing that lowers that guard is honest and open communication and the willingness for resolve but sometimes that’s not an available option. So what do you do with all these feelings of hurt when there is no option for closure on the horizon?

I’m sure everyone (including myself) has asked these questions “how could you do this to me?”, and “why don’t you care?”, “how can you just go on in your life like nothing about this mattered?” Most often there is some sort of falling out or ending and if it’s the latter then I don’t think it’s likely you’re going to find the answers you would like for closure and without closure how do you let go and move on?

dirty feet

I’ve found that distance from a difficult experience, a break or mental vacation from it can be a temporary enough solution to help you put some space between your hurt and your emotions so you can find the positives from it, there are always positives, you just have to want to see them. Sometimes it may be a while until you see the wisdom behind the experience but eventually that “aha” moment peaks when you least expect it but when most open to it.

If you aren’t able to have that space to heal I believe it just means that your healing will take a little longer. Dedication, understanding and compassion toward yourself for the extra time it may take is the kindness you need to extend to yourself until you get there.

Appreciate: recognize the full worth of, understand (a situation) fully, recognize the full implications of

Being able to step outside of an experience long enough to gain clarity is the best path to understanding the “true lesson” behind the experience.Appreciation even in the face of difficulty will build inner strength and character, it has to right? I mean what else could come from hurt, disappointment and mental anguish except to get back up, dust yourself off and become the stronger person you were meant to be? It’s been said that when you don’t learn from an experience it keeps coming back around until you do, so if you have to go through it then best to only have to go through it once. Step back and really examine so you can find what it is that you are to take with you and learn. Why put yourself through it more than you have to, your experiences are not meant to break you, they are meant to build you.

As hard as it is to foresee the road ahead it is only through having appreciation for all experiences (positive or negative) that you will begin to cultivate happiness. Start with the smaller successes and after a while you will see that those successes will multiply and begin to shape a brighter, happier and more positive future.

Happiness: the state of being happy

It doesn’t get any clearer than that and where are you at with your own happiness? Happiness isn’t just for other people who seem like they have it all together. Happiness is a state of being, a state that you can access at any time, a state that doesn’t discriminate or align with only the lucky ones.

If another has done you wrong, mistreated you, taken you for granted or overreacted badly, that is not on you, it is on them which doesn’t mean you are now excluded from the state of happiness. Your own happiness depends on how you turn things around, how you want to view the world and what kind of life you decide to live.just be happy

It’s your choice but I’d suggest to “Choose Happiness”.

 
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Posted by on June 24, 2015 in Blog

 

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Something’s Gotta Give!

When You’ve Gone Too Far Down the Rabbit Hole

Ever get to the point where you feel so overwhelmed in every area of life that the only resolve seems to be that “something’s gotta give?”

Life gets busy and sometimes you’re so hectic that you dig yourself so far down the rabbit hole you can’t see which way is up or out.

This kind of stress puts a significant strain on every part of your mental, spiritual and physical health which can manifest in a variety of ways producing outcomes that can challenge the state of your mindset. I’ve had experiences that have been extremely challenging and at times have caused me moments of what felt like extreme anxiety, finding an effective way to cope can be difficult but very necessary.

There are many areas of life that can cause stress; work, money, health, family, etc., and even though these are all valid stress points in life they can take a greater toll when you push back against what is meant to be. I believe that everything we go through happens for a reason, whether difficult or not, they are all there to help you gain a greater understanding and connection to your life and everyone in it.

The duress of this emotional baggage when constantly compiled on the soul eventually must find a way out and be purged, whatever outlet that may be through. For me, I write and that seems to be a great form or therapy because purging emotional stress is usually done through some form of communication to simply “get things off your chest”. Writing or journaling can be an effective outlet especially if you do not have someone to talk things through with to help you release it.

Alternatively it may not be that you don’t have someone there to talk to but rather some things just don’t feel like they can be communicated and/or articulated, sometimes you just have to find your own process for letting things go, put your faith in a higher power so that you can free yourself from that which is holding you back.

dark place

Not everything difficult is there to bring you down, maybe sometimes to humble you a bit if your ego gets a little too inflated, but ultimately there is some form or wisdom attached and if you don’t embrace it you’re going to keep going through it until you finally do. I don’t believe that these lessons are meant to break you but rather break you open so not only are you vulnerable but there are no walls left to resist what you are meant to learn and grow towards.

I think everyone has the moments of feeling despair but those moments are only part of the process and not supposed to continue on forever. At some point if you aren’t transitioning toward the next phase it means you are resisting and I know that resisting feels like the natural response and for a while it serves its purpose by allowing you the armor that protects while you digest and adjust.

Once you reach the point of when you are no longer able to continue your resistance this is when the lesson breaks through, it is the emotional equivalent of “rock bottom for the soul” because there is finally nothing more standing in the way of the healing that is now able to come through. Following healing comes enlightenment, “aha” moments and a stronger feeling of connection to not only the universe but all the people in it.

The humbling aspect of lessons is that they teach you gratitude, appreciation, compassion and empathy for others, what is released is judgement, anger, entitlement and egotistical rule.

Sometimes I think you can see what phases of these kinds of processes (experiences) others are in because it’s almost like those that are at the most wound up are almost at the beginning and on the verge of being broken open and those that breathe love and lack of judgement are just coming through the end.

Whatever phase you may feel you are in during a dark or difficult experience know that the only way to get through is to let go of your resistance. Know that there is wisdom, clarity and peace of mind on the other side of the storm but only if you allow it to crash and bang when it needs to, take cover and when the light starts to come back know that you won’t be the same person that went in.

All things happen when they are meant to and how they are meant to, you will never miss something that is truly meant to be in your life it will always finds its way to you and in the right time.

same person from the storm

 
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Posted by on June 1, 2015 in Blog

 

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Shutdown, Walk Away!

Or Live to Fight Another Day?

I imagine everyone has come to a moment or feeling like this and the big question to ask yourself is “am I going to let one moment of fear or vulnerability define me”? As much as I’ve always been a go-getter and/or team player I think the part of this that defines me is that I have no intention of ever giving up until I’ve exhausted every last avenue that leads to the road I want to get to.

fall-down-seven-timesI can definitely say that this determination has paved the roads I have travelled in a very big way! Nothing in life is so big that you can’t overcome it, the biggest obstacle in your life in the face of adversity is you, if you let it. There is no reason you can’t change the obstacles in your life to fit you better and by that I mean that it’s not just the obstacle but how you look at it. A lot of times you may give up simply because the obstacle seems too big to overcome not because it actually is but because you’ve allowed it to grow too much in your mind. Have you ever tried to minimize something that is challenging only to discover that your change in thought about it has actually made it become more manageable?

I think the biggest aspect of realizing or minimizing your challenges lie within your gratitude for the experiences, if you cannot find gratitude in the littlest things in life, how do you ever expect to really appreciate the bigger experiences when they occur and really how will you know how to recognize them?

One thing I know, don’t allow the passion in your heart to flame out, don’t allow your dreams to die and don’t allow anyone to determine what your dreams are worth.

Don’t die with your music still in you……Dr. Wayne Dyer

One of my “go to” paths to re-connect with my inner strength is knowing what motivates and strengthens my resolve, I listen to my power song which seems to feel like my anthem, I think everyone has one of those songs. As old as the song may seem, it takes me back to the time when I felt the most determined and willful, I would play “The Warrior” by Patty Smyth, and I would feel energized, of course I was I was 16 then and had no fear, you know how that goes.  I was ready to tackle all that life had to throw at me head on so I could show everyone and prove to myself that I could handle whatever came my way.

What is your power song, the one that you would identify with as your anthem?  If it inspires you and makes you feel strong then play it when you aren’t feeling as determined and watch how it changes your perspective. I think you’ll find that it will build your inner strength back up to task the challenges that lie ahead and more.

Don’t ever allow yourself or anyone else to make you believe you are unable to take on or overcome any obstacle. When you find yourself in difficulty that is time to check in and ask am I going to “shutdown and walk away or live to fight another day”?

Honestly I think we all have the strength we need to carry us through all challenges or difficulties, we are not given more than we can handle and at times we defeat ourselves worse than any other person could. The best chance you can give yourself when in the face of adversity is to get back up and try again, that is the biggest confidence booster and it’s something you can do for yourself. Pep talks are great, inspiring and motivating but the person that makes or breaks you is you!

Don’t be your own worst enemy, be your biggest fan! Find your footing, stand your ground, walk your path and don’t give up until you get everything you want!

never-give-up-ever-picture-quote

 
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Posted by on May 18, 2015 in Blog

 

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Dream Big, Dare Greatly!

It’s Never Too Late for Action

If it is something you have dreamed about, you need to act, if it is all that you’ve ever wanted, you need to act, if it is within your grasp, you need to act!

There is more self-loathing contained in the one that never takes the chance, whether you are held back by fear or not, taking a chance at your dreams takes courage and when you feed that courage you gain strength and confidence in yourself.

I never would have ventured the thought that within vulnerability lies your biggest source of strength but it is and challenging yourself when you feel the most exposed and vulnerable is like recharging your stamina meter, look out world I’m on a mission!

You may think that being vulnerable is being weak but it is actually being strong, strong enough to show your own vulnerability. When you do this, I’m not going to lie, it can be really scary but what you gain is inner strength, there is no greater exposure to who you really are, no one could expose you any further because you’ve already opened up your core.be vulnerable

You can’t get to courage without walking through vulnerability…

Vulnerability is the birthplace of everything we are hungry for…

Both of these statements were quoted by Dr. Brene Brown and I definitely agree with them, I experienced this exact epiphany (although couldn’t articulate as beautifully) but these words are true and you won’t be able to really understand how profound it really is until you step into your own space of vulnerability.

What you think about yourself is more important than you may realize, how you view your importance and place in this life is what feeds your self-pride and/or your courage to take a chance and go for what you want.

The quote below is now added to my collection of favorite quotes for a few reasons, I have observed a variety of different personalities, some I gravitate to and some I gravitate away from.

Theodore Roosevelt quote that Dr. Brene Brown references at the beginning of her latest book “Daring Greatly”:

It’s not the critic who counts, it’s not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles or where the doer of deeds could have done them better, the credit goes to the man who’s actually in the arena, whose face is marred with dust and sweat and blood, who strives valiantly and who errs and fails and is sometimes victorious but when he fails as least he does so daring greatly!

There is always going to be those that stand at the sidelines too afraid to try and full of self-loathing because of it and what they point out as your faults are really how they feel about themselves, they likely have more respect for you because you tried and are mad at themselves and jealous because they lacked the courage to dare greatly.

It doesn’t make them any less of a person, I think it’s just because somewhere along the line their courage and faith got broken, your self-talk is so important because you can either make or break yourself further with your own thoughts but realize it doesn’t mean that’s it and you’re over!

It’s never too late for action to change everything around you, it starts with your thoughts and that’s not going to cost you a thing, except some faith. Every day or every week you can change one thought about yourself from negative to positive, thoughts become attitude and then outlook and before you know it the world around you starts to change and mold according to those new positive thoughts.

Change your thoughts, change your life….. Wayne Dyer

Don’t you believe you are worth it?

  • I do! I believe we are all worth it, all deserving of the living the life we want, all you have to do is take action, be positive and don’t give up! Why would you expect that your best life is to come to you and not the other way around? Anything worth having, is worth doing the work for!

We are only victims of the prisons we put ourselves in with our thoughts so change your thoughts!

Don’t let your self-talk ruin you, you’re better than that and deserve better than that and you can have anything you want as long as you’re willing to do the work, make the sacrifices and never take no for an answer!

Dream Big, Dare Greatly and do it with Integrity!

dare to dream

 
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Posted by on April 20, 2015 in Blog

 

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