RSS

Forgive & Appreciate Your Way Back to Happiness!

Letting Go for Your Own Freedom

Don’t tell me how many battles you’ve won, tell me how many people you’ve forgiven!

I’m not sure who wrote this quote but I read it recently and it resonated with me immediately. My first thought was “Yes, that’s it exactly!” and the next thought was to wonder how many people are afflicted daily by the emotional prison that they trap themselves in as a result of not being able to embrace forgiveness.

Of course this isn’t to say that your emotional hurt is invalid but rather that it’s not necessary or fair to your inner spirit to carry it around with you like the badge of horror it can be. When you are unable to cross the line into forgiveness it doesn’t affect anyone as much as it does you. I think many people have a variety of reasons for holding on to a painful memory and while I’m sure the reason is valid it doesn’t mean it’s not having a negative effect on your life. It doesn’t mean the person you hold it against is being impacted in any way whatsoever and it doesn’t mean that by holding onto it that eventually retribution will come.

Forgive: stop feeling angry or resentful toward (someone) for an offense, flaw or mistake 

Easier said than done, believe me I know! When someone hurts you deeply it’s not just the emotional pain of the hurt but the emotional attachment you have to the person that has hurt you.

People you don’t have any attachment to can’t hurt you so much because they lack that personal connection. Those closest to you know where your soft spots of vulnerability are and you know theirs but it is because of a mutual trust that neither of you intentionally try to use them against each other. It is when trust is broken that hurt happens and that hurt can carry you into the mode of defense which raises your guard. The only thing that lowers that guard is honest and open communication and the willingness for resolve but sometimes that’s not an available option. So what do you do with all these feelings of hurt when there is no option for closure on the horizon?

I’m sure everyone (including myself) has asked these questions “how could you do this to me?”, and “why don’t you care?”, “how can you just go on in your life like nothing about this mattered?” Most often there is some sort of falling out or ending and if it’s the latter then I don’t think it’s likely you’re going to find the answers you would like for closure and without closure how do you let go and move on?

dirty feet

I’ve found that distance from a difficult experience, a break or mental vacation from it can be a temporary enough solution to help you put some space between your hurt and your emotions so you can find the positives from it, there are always positives, you just have to want to see them. Sometimes it may be a while until you see the wisdom behind the experience but eventually that “aha” moment peaks when you least expect it but when most open to it.

If you aren’t able to have that space to heal I believe it just means that your healing will take a little longer. Dedication, understanding and compassion toward yourself for the extra time it may take is the kindness you need to extend to yourself until you get there.

Appreciate: recognize the full worth of, understand (a situation) fully, recognize the full implications of

Being able to step outside of an experience long enough to gain clarity is the best path to understanding the “true lesson” behind the experience.Appreciation even in the face of difficulty will build inner strength and character, it has to right? I mean what else could come from hurt, disappointment and mental anguish except to get back up, dust yourself off and become the stronger person you were meant to be? It’s been said that when you don’t learn from an experience it keeps coming back around until you do, so if you have to go through it then best to only have to go through it once. Step back and really examine so you can find what it is that you are to take with you and learn. Why put yourself through it more than you have to, your experiences are not meant to break you, they are meant to build you.

As hard as it is to foresee the road ahead it is only through having appreciation for all experiences (positive or negative) that you will begin to cultivate happiness. Start with the smaller successes and after a while you will see that those successes will multiply and begin to shape a brighter, happier and more positive future.

Happiness: the state of being happy

It doesn’t get any clearer than that and where are you at with your own happiness? Happiness isn’t just for other people who seem like they have it all together. Happiness is a state of being, a state that you can access at any time, a state that doesn’t discriminate or align with only the lucky ones.

If another has done you wrong, mistreated you, taken you for granted or overreacted badly, that is not on you, it is on them which doesn’t mean you are now excluded from the state of happiness. Your own happiness depends on how you turn things around, how you want to view the world and what kind of life you decide to live.just be happy

It’s your choice but I’d suggest to “Choose Happiness”.

 
Leave a comment

Posted by on June 24, 2015 in Blog

 

Tags: , , , , , , , , ,

Something’s Gotta Give!

When You’ve Gone Too Far Down the Rabbit Hole

Ever get to the point where you feel so overwhelmed in every area of life that the only resolve seems to be that “something’s gotta give?”

Life gets busy and sometimes you’re so hectic that you dig yourself so far down the rabbit hole you can’t see which way is up or out.

This kind of stress puts a significant strain on every part of your mental, spiritual and physical health which can manifest in a variety of ways producing outcomes that can challenge the state of your mindset. I’ve had experiences that have been extremely challenging and at times have caused me moments of what felt like extreme anxiety, finding an effective way to cope can be difficult but very necessary.

There are many areas of life that can cause stress; work, money, health, family, etc., and even though these are all valid stress points in life they can take a greater toll when you push back against what is meant to be. I believe that everything we go through happens for a reason, whether difficult or not, they are all there to help you gain a greater understanding and connection to your life and everyone in it.

The duress of this emotional baggage when constantly compiled on the soul eventually must find a way out and be purged, whatever outlet that may be through. For me, I write and that seems to be a great form or therapy because purging emotional stress is usually done through some form of communication to simply “get things off your chest”. Writing or journaling can be an effective outlet especially if you do not have someone to talk things through with to help you release it.

Alternatively it may not be that you don’t have someone there to talk to but rather some things just don’t feel like they can be communicated and/or articulated, sometimes you just have to find your own process for letting things go, put your faith in a higher power so that you can free yourself from that which is holding you back.

dark place

Not everything difficult is there to bring you down, maybe sometimes to humble you a bit if your ego gets a little too inflated, but ultimately there is some form or wisdom attached and if you don’t embrace it you’re going to keep going through it until you finally do. I don’t believe that these lessons are meant to break you but rather break you open so not only are you vulnerable but there are no walls left to resist what you are meant to learn and grow towards.

I think everyone has the moments of feeling despair but those moments are only part of the process and not supposed to continue on forever. At some point if you aren’t transitioning toward the next phase it means you are resisting and I know that resisting feels like the natural response and for a while it serves its purpose by allowing you the armor that protects while you digest and adjust.

Once you reach the point of when you are no longer able to continue your resistance this is when the lesson breaks through, it is the emotional equivalent of “rock bottom for the soul” because there is finally nothing more standing in the way of the healing that is now able to come through. Following healing comes enlightenment, “aha” moments and a stronger feeling of connection to not only the universe but all the people in it.

The humbling aspect of lessons is that they teach you gratitude, appreciation, compassion and empathy for others, what is released is judgement, anger, entitlement and egotistical rule.

Sometimes I think you can see what phases of these kinds of processes (experiences) others are in because it’s almost like those that are at the most wound up are almost at the beginning and on the verge of being broken open and those that breathe love and lack of judgement are just coming through the end.

Whatever phase you may feel you are in during a dark or difficult experience know that the only way to get through is to let go of your resistance. Know that there is wisdom, clarity and peace of mind on the other side of the storm but only if you allow it to crash and bang when it needs to, take cover and when the light starts to come back know that you won’t be the same person that went in.

All things happen when they are meant to and how they are meant to, you will never miss something that is truly meant to be in your life it will always finds its way to you and in the right time.

same person from the storm

 
Leave a comment

Posted by on June 1, 2015 in Blog

 

Tags: , , , , , , , ,

Shutdown, Walk Away!

Or Live to Fight Another Day?

I imagine everyone has come to a moment or feeling like this and the big question to ask yourself is “am I going to let one moment of fear or vulnerability define me”? As much as I’ve always been a go-getter and/or team player I think the part of this that defines me is that I have no intention of ever giving up until I’ve exhausted every last avenue that leads to the road I want to get to.

fall-down-seven-timesI can definitely say that this determination has paved the roads I have travelled in a very big way! Nothing in life is so big that you can’t overcome it, the biggest obstacle in your life in the face of adversity is you, if you let it. There is no reason you can’t change the obstacles in your life to fit you better and by that I mean that it’s not just the obstacle but how you look at it. A lot of times you may give up simply because the obstacle seems too big to overcome not because it actually is but because you’ve allowed it to grow too much in your mind. Have you ever tried to minimize something that is challenging only to discover that your change in thought about it has actually made it become more manageable?

I think the biggest aspect of realizing or minimizing your challenges lie within your gratitude for the experiences, if you cannot find gratitude in the littlest things in life, how do you ever expect to really appreciate the bigger experiences when they occur and really how will you know how to recognize them?

One thing I know, don’t allow the passion in your heart to flame out, don’t allow your dreams to die and don’t allow anyone to determine what your dreams are worth.

Don’t die with your music still in you……Dr. Wayne Dyer

One of my “go to” paths to re-connect with my inner strength is knowing what motivates and strengthens my resolve, I listen to my power song which seems to feel like my anthem, I think everyone has one of those songs. As old as the song may seem, it takes me back to the time when I felt the most determined and willful, I would play “The Warrior” by Patty Smyth, and I would feel energized, of course I was I was 16 then and had no fear, you know how that goes.  I was ready to tackle all that life had to throw at me head on so I could show everyone and prove to myself that I could handle whatever came my way.

What is your power song, the one that you would identify with as your anthem?  If it inspires you and makes you feel strong then play it when you aren’t feeling as determined and watch how it changes your perspective. I think you’ll find that it will build your inner strength back up to task the challenges that lie ahead and more.

Don’t ever allow yourself or anyone else to make you believe you are unable to take on or overcome any obstacle. When you find yourself in difficulty that is time to check in and ask am I going to “shutdown and walk away or live to fight another day”?

Honestly I think we all have the strength we need to carry us through all challenges or difficulties, we are not given more than we can handle and at times we defeat ourselves worse than any other person could. The best chance you can give yourself when in the face of adversity is to get back up and try again, that is the biggest confidence booster and it’s something you can do for yourself. Pep talks are great, inspiring and motivating but the person that makes or breaks you is you!

Don’t be your own worst enemy, be your biggest fan! Find your footing, stand your ground, walk your path and don’t give up until you get everything you want!

never-give-up-ever-picture-quote

 
Leave a comment

Posted by on May 18, 2015 in Blog

 

Tags: , , , , , , ,

Dream Big, Dare Greatly!

It’s Never Too Late for Action

If it is something you have dreamed about, you need to act, if it is all that you’ve ever wanted, you need to act, if it is within your grasp, you need to act!

There is more self-loathing contained in the one that never takes the chance, whether you are held back by fear or not, taking a chance at your dreams takes courage and when you feed that courage you gain strength and confidence in yourself.

I never would have ventured the thought that within vulnerability lies your biggest source of strength but it is and challenging yourself when you feel the most exposed and vulnerable is like recharging your stamina meter, look out world I’m on a mission!

You may think that being vulnerable is being weak but it is actually being strong, strong enough to show your own vulnerability. When you do this, I’m not going to lie, it can be really scary but what you gain is inner strength, there is no greater exposure to who you really are, no one could expose you any further because you’ve already opened up your core.be vulnerable

You can’t get to courage without walking through vulnerability…

Vulnerability is the birthplace of everything we are hungry for…

Both of these statements were quoted by Dr. Brene Brown and I definitely agree with them, I experienced this exact epiphany (although couldn’t articulate as beautifully) but these words are true and you won’t be able to really understand how profound it really is until you step into your own space of vulnerability.

What you think about yourself is more important than you may realize, how you view your importance and place in this life is what feeds your self-pride and/or your courage to take a chance and go for what you want.

The quote below is now added to my collection of favorite quotes for a few reasons, I have observed a variety of different personalities, some I gravitate to and some I gravitate away from.

Theodore Roosevelt quote that Dr. Brene Brown references at the beginning of her latest book “Daring Greatly”:

It’s not the critic who counts, it’s not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles or where the doer of deeds could have done them better, the credit goes to the man who’s actually in the arena, whose face is marred with dust and sweat and blood, who strives valiantly and who errs and fails and is sometimes victorious but when he fails as least he does so daring greatly!

There is always going to be those that stand at the sidelines too afraid to try and full of self-loathing because of it and what they point out as your faults are really how they feel about themselves, they likely have more respect for you because you tried and are mad at themselves and jealous because they lacked the courage to dare greatly.

It doesn’t make them any less of a person, I think it’s just because somewhere along the line their courage and faith got broken, your self-talk is so important because you can either make or break yourself further with your own thoughts but realize it doesn’t mean that’s it and you’re over!

It’s never too late for action to change everything around you, it starts with your thoughts and that’s not going to cost you a thing, except some faith. Every day or every week you can change one thought about yourself from negative to positive, thoughts become attitude and then outlook and before you know it the world around you starts to change and mold according to those new positive thoughts.

Change your thoughts, change your life….. Wayne Dyer

Don’t you believe you are worth it?

  • I do! I believe we are all worth it, all deserving of the living the life we want, all you have to do is take action, be positive and don’t give up! Why would you expect that your best life is to come to you and not the other way around? Anything worth having, is worth doing the work for!

We are only victims of the prisons we put ourselves in with our thoughts so change your thoughts!

Don’t let your self-talk ruin you, you’re better than that and deserve better than that and you can have anything you want as long as you’re willing to do the work, make the sacrifices and never take no for an answer!

Dream Big, Dare Greatly and do it with Integrity!

dare to dream

 
Leave a comment

Posted by on April 20, 2015 in Blog

 

Tags: , , , , , , , ,

Soul Beginnings

The Existence of the Soul?

Déjà vu or misplaced memory? Do you believe in past lives and/or reincarnation of the soul? Have you ever had a moment that seemed so oddly familiar that you know you’ve been in that space of time in the same conversation, place or event before?

I’ve experienced these kinds of moments a few times and during that moment of familiarity it almost feels like things are moving in slow motion as I begin to make the connection and a sense or feeling comes to the surface. I do believe that these are the signposts along your journey to let you know you’re on the right path and meeting the right connections.

I’m not overly religious or immersed in any one belief system, I believe that all belief systems at the core have the same root in that they all stem from a higher source of power that we pay homage to and acknowledge. The fine details of each may differ but the purpose of the collective is having faith in something bigger than ourselves. Of course it is the option through free will that each of you get to choose or not choose where you want to place your faith but I don’t believe that the strength of your faith is dependent upon where or how you choose to honor it but rather the depth of your integrity, gratitude for life and compassion towards others.

A few years ago I had read a theory in a book by Sylvia Browne about past lives and her reference to what she called “bleed-throughs”, it has been a few years since I read this so I do not remember it exactly as it was written but the jist of her theory was with relation to someone experiencing a multiple personality and the possibility may not necessarily be a disorder but rather a bleed-through of a personality from a past life. I found this theory really interesting and wondered how far back into past lives these bleed-throughs can manifest from, maybe all the way back from the soul beginnings?

There are many accredited practitioners and psychiatrists, etc., that treat patients with past life regression therapy and/or hypnotherapy, so if the belief is there isn’t there a possibility that a past life has memories rooted in the soul so strongly that they may be blending in the current life you lead?

I recently watched an episode I had PVR’d of Oprah’s “Super Soul Sunday” with Dr. Brian Weiss who spoke about past lives and their impact which only furthered my interest in the subject of where it all begins for each soul. He spoke of one particular patient that turned his entire traditional training and belief system in a complete 180 degrees and how it changed his life direction and purpose. I imagine that even in the ideals of those in clinical and scientific study that rely and depend on factual evidence, thoughts or talk of this subject could be considered suicidal to a career, especially 30 years ago so I’d definitely say he was a trailblazer.

ManyLivesManyMastersMiraclesHappen

I am happy to see these skeptical subjects that long ago would have been considered “crazy talk” are now coming into the forefront of conversation and people are interested to know more. These topics aren’t easily proved because they lack the tangible and fact based evidence that is usually a requirement within anything of scientific nature. I think the biggest aspect of believing in the possibility of soul beginnings, intuitiveness and psychic experiences is within the foundation of your faith in the existence of things that you cannot see or touch.

With every life experience comes the opportunity to evolve your spirit more. I wouldn’t think that there would be anything awful about the thought of multiple life experiences because it just means you keep getting more opportunities to get things right, to progress and advance your soul’s higher learning.

My life experiences so far have continued to strengthen my belief in that higher source of power, when I feel unsettled I find inspiration comes in which reconnects me to the Universal source of energy that resonates within my soul. I trust that by following my instincts I will continue to follow my passion which in turn keeps me in alignment with my life’s purpose.

Things are shifting aren’t they and the more they shift the more connected we all become!

always believe

 

 
Leave a comment

Posted by on April 13, 2015 in Blog

 

Tags: , , , , , , , , ,

If You Build It, They Will Come

Believe It Can Happen!

One of the single most important aspects to manifesting your dreams is believing it will happen!

Whatever you seek in life is dependent upon your belief that it will actually happen and when you do fully believe you start living your life as if these things are already happening or on their way. Whether you realize it or not, this shift in your perspective and outlook makes room internally as well as externally and as a result you open the door to accept happiness and peace into your soul.

“If you build it, they will come”, speaking metaphorically of course, because it’s not just about that movie and building a baseball field, it applies to everything within your life and is exactly the state of belief and unwavering faith you need to embrace so the changes you wish to see can begin to manifest. You must be willing and open to change, you must be willing to do the work and make sacrifices, when the time is right the rewards will follow.

belief

Sometimes though the rewards don’t turn out to be specifically what you expected and by that I don’t mean that you do the work and you there are no rewards; I mean that sometimes the work leads you to another path, one that has different challenges and/or roadblocks you might not have encountered otherwise and that changes the rewards. I believe that everything in life begins as part of the imagination and that inspires creativity, when you come up with an idea about something sometimes you have different thoughts along the way that change the original idea, that’s creativity! Creativity inspired can blossom into so many other areas that the possibilities become endless so when I say that sometimes the rewards change it is because the creativity that surrounds you is constantly moving.

Similarly you also are always moving, changing, adapting, creating, imagining, etc. When you operate in this state you are in alignment with the Universe as it is also moving, changing, adapting, creating, imagining, etc.

It makes sense that when you are operating within that alignment that YOUR possibilities become endless.

It’s the Law of Attraction, I’m sure you’ve noticed at certain times in your life when things just flow, like you’re “in the zone” and everything is working out beautifully. Alternatively there are also the times when everything seems to go wrong in a day and those are the days when you are not in alignment, you’re “out of the zone”. Most times you fall “out of the zone” is when you are resisting, likely one of life’s lessons, and believe me the more you resist the more you will have days like that.

I think sometimes resistance is the response to anything that is painful or challenging because it is much easier to look away from your pain or challenges than stare it down and deal with it. Understandably some difficulties take more from you than you want to allow but I’ve learned that when I face obstacles it builds me back stronger. I can honestly say that when it comes to life’s lessons there is no comparison to the strong sense of self you gain when you rise to the occasion.

Life’s lessons will open you to new understanding, perspective and outlook all of which will change who you are and how you view your world, these lessons are here to help you, not break you.

It isn’t until you are humbled by life’s lessons that you really develop the understanding of the bigger picture and of course that brings a whole other set of questions. The difference is that these questions become more about substance than material, more about internal than external and more about spirit than ego.

If You Build It, They Will Come!

love life, it will love you back

 
Leave a comment

Posted by on April 6, 2015 in Blog

 

Tags: , , , , , , , , ,

Where’s My Sign?

Which Way Do I Go?

I have always believed in signs, how every experience directs or re-directs you to a new path and that all signs manifest as a result of your conscious choices whether they were good ones or not. Your signs find their way to you but ultimately you need to be available (emotionally, mentally & spiritually) to see and embrace them.signs

Not every sign is crystal clear, wouldn’t it be nice if it were? That would make things so much easier and reduce the chances of ever misreading them. Although I think that may be the point, you can’t be led by the hand to every experience, some of the best ones are stumbled upon as if by accident but I don’t believe in accidents, everything does happen for a reason whether you realize it at the time or not.

Have you ever noticed how some people come into your life at just the right time, maybe a time when you were going to give up on something and their presence inspires you to keep going? Or maybe a time when you needed the help of someone of specific placement to give you that extra reach and there they appear? Some just come along to walk with you through it all and some for specific points in time, maybe to shift you in a new direction of a sign you’ve not been able to see yet or maybe to provoke the change you need to forge ahead.

I’ve tried at times to step outside myself as if to look in and while it seems weird to think, sometimes the way things all come together appear to be beautifully mastered by an outside influence. When you are in alignment with all things positive and your intention matches that alignment your life starts to open up and the signs that were always there become much more visible.

How do you know what is truly a sign?

  • The true signs are something you feel instinctively, I used to doubt my instincts not because of any sort of lower-self thinking or lack of self-awareness but because my ego had me believing I knew more, isn’t it great how that ego always leads you to believe that? Any time you have an instinctual thought, feeling or reaction it is truth from your higher self, wanting to be heard and the worst thing you can do is not listen. The signs tend to continue hitting harder each time they present but at some point when you just aren’t getting it and the time for that moment the sign represented has passed they start to diminish just like your ability to hear your instincts, eventually the voice gets quieted so low you can no longer hear it and your signs fade away along with the positive gifts they carried. At this point though all is not lost, the opportunity to see, read and hear new signs will always be available and all it takes is shifting your perspective to the light inside (that is you) and trusting that what you see and feel is something you can believe in, your inner self never guides you astray because it has your best interest, always!

How do you know you’re not just imagining/seeing something that isn’t there?

  • This is a question I’ve asked myself because I tend to get overly passionate and pursuant of my goals at times, that’s just who I am. So am I creating these signs as a result of my imagination and desires? Or are they true signs? Again, this is something only your instinct will know, if it’s a true sign you will feel it, your emotional connection to your higher self is always there to guide you, listen to it. When you have a feeling, act, I can guarantee you will never regret it because at the very least you will never wonder where things would have taken you, you will know.

The signs in life are like signposts on the road, as you travel on the road the signs tell you how much further you have to go, they also tell you that you are on the right track and that’s what the signs in life do as well. They are the significant or insignificant reminders that you are still on the right road destined toward the unknown but hopeful and faith enduring enough to keep going.

Pay attention to all your signs (big and little), heed the warnings and urgings or your instincts, even if you think your making something up in your head let it ride out and see where it takes you, it’s the scariest moments that bring about the greatest change.

signs on life

 
2 Comments

Posted by on March 23, 2015 in Blog

 

Tags: , , , , , , , , ,

 
Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 2,883 other followers