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Below the Surface

Is Where Negativity Finds a Way In

Your experiences are meant to teach not trap and when you are unable to find the wisdom within them you prevent yourself from the growth meant to take you to the next level of your life’s journey.unforgiveness

If you are unable to even think of an experience, let alone talk about it without feeling re-affected because the hurt or disappointment from it was so significant then you haven’t allowed yourself to fully feel, grieve and let it go.

It’s very important to allow things to process out of your system, not just physically but mentally and spiritually too. All experiences have a direct effect on all three states of your well-being and if allowed can fester and grow resentment, bitterness, grudges and unforgiveness.

Feel the Pain:  Experiences that have deeply hurt your feelings have to be acknowledged, you can’t just push them aside, focus your attention elsewhere and will them to go away. They re-surface again and again in your life through similar cycles and patterns and eventually you come to a point where you are forced to deal with them. The question is are you finally going to? Or are you going to push them down deeper?

Happiness, peace of mind and balance will always elude you if continually resist the Universe’s message.

Grieve the Loss:  It’s important to allow yourself time to grieve the loss that you feel from any experience, there is always some level of expectation in any exchange and when it’s not met resentment can occur. It’s important to acknowledge those thoughts and know that they are not wrong and are a natural result. You are allowed to feel how you feel from any experience.

Let Go:  Any Loss is loss.  Once you’ve allowed yourself to feel the pain and grieve the loss you’ll find that letting go is the easiest part of the process. It allows the weight of resentment, bitterness, grudges and/or unforgiveness that you’ve carried around to be lifted from where they do not belong. It’s a bigger burden than you realize and one that will make you feel a whole lot lighter, less cluttered and overwhelmed within your mind.

releasing a grudge

Regardless of how much pain was caused from an experience you cannot allow it change you so much that it negatively affects any area of your life. When you choose not to forgive, you are also choosing not to let go and by doing that you are allowing the experience to still own an aspect of your life.

Do you really want to let a negative experience interrupt your life daily, weekly or monthly, at all? When you can’t find peace with something that’s what it does, it causes a rift in your soul, that rift can affect all your relationships, is that fair to you or to them? If you think about it the negative experience is being allowed to not only continue to hurt you but to now hurt others through you, even if you don’t mean to.

The rift in your soul can cause you to feel unbalanced and that is your spirit trying to find way to be heard, validated and soothed before you spin yourself into an unmanageable state. These signs manifest through your physical, mental and spiritual well-being and can cause and/or mimic serious afflictions within. There is a significant amount of stress you place on yourself through resistance and if you knew all of this from the beginning you would likely choose to feel, grieve and let go but your emotions are the wild card that you can’t control.

I’ve learned that even though my emotions are strong, my spirit is stronger and the voice of reason thankfully is within my spirit, not my emotions even if they do send me off on a tangent every once in a while.

Recognizing and acknowledging my emotions during times of adversity is important and having a really excellent friend to be the additional voice of reason next to your spirits’ is a blessing. At the very least an open ear of someone you can trust to help provide you with a healthy perspective can help you to help yourself find a way into the process and eventually toward letting go.

Even if you don’t reconnect again it’s important to let an experience run its course through all the phases or you risk losing the whole purpose of it. You’ve already endured the worst why stop short of the finish line when your blessing for making it through all adversity is the wisdom that comes at the end.repeating relationship patterns

When starting anew it is important to leave the past in the past and face new experiences with an open heart and mind. It’s wise to remember past experiences and retain the lessons and wisdom you have gained but placing and/or comparing a new experience with a previous one carries overtones that have no place or reason.

New experiences also bring new people, new behaviours and new circumstances and none are comparable to anything from the past, they are new, treat them as such and bring your wisdom!

 
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Posted by on November 24, 2014 in Blog

 

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The Power of the Positive Mind

Will Change Your Life!

The power of the positive mind can achieve and/or change anything when the belief that there can be no other outcome is fully embraced.

If I have a vision of the outcome I see/seek it is quite difficult for anyone to sway my thinking from that outcome and believe me I’ve had others try, they want to be the voice of reason for the purpose of preventing me from feeling so let down when it doesn’t happen. Has this ever happened to you?

You are the one that decides which side of the light you intend to stand for, belief or disbelief and the key to igniting your belief lies within your subconscious.

  • Where do you really see the outcome to your experience going?
  • Do you hope and believe for the best but subconsciously expect that it won’t go that way?

The answers to those questions have to resonate within your soul without external influence and no matter what you may say out loud to try to convince yourself otherwise, your inner voice always knows the truth. If your subconscious mind does not believe, your conscious mind does not stand a chance.

every thought we think

My daughter was born 3 ½ months premature and weighed 1 lb, 7 oz, she didn’t look much bigger than a pound of butter. I understand the doctors have to make you aware of all the possible outcomes and right away it was 50/50 chance that she survive 12 hours, the next day it was the same chances that she survive the next 24 hours, and then 48. Following that were the possible outcomes of life challenges ahead and there were still challenges that would present while she was in the hospital but even though there were bumps along that road I knew in my subconscious that my belief was true. She was coming home and I could envision it easily, for me there was no other outcome and there wasn’t. She’s 15 now and has some challenges but she’s here and we have a lot more time ahead of us to change even more outcomes ahead.

I firmly believe that my unwavering positive thoughts toward her coming home had been the trailblazer for affecting this outcome. It’s the Law of Attraction, what you think about expands, your thoughts are manifested into your reality simply because there is no room for any other outcome! You must believe! It’s not just that I thought it and it became the reality, I made room for it and I continued on with my plans for her expectant arrival home.

I could have easily focused on the reasons as to why she was born premature and let those be the dominant thoughts in my mind, place blame and say “why her, why me”, but how exactly is that going to help my daughter? Not at all!

She needed as much positive energy and thoughts as I could give her and “what if” didn’t matter anymore because here we were, going forward, seeking to change how things were going to turn out was the only option, going back was not. There was no way I was just going to accept something without even taking a shot at trying to change it especially with the beliefs I felt so deeply.

There was another woman across from me in the hospital that also had a premature baby and I noticed something one day that re-affirmed my thoughts about my energy as well as others and how we can easily affect others with it. While I was in the Neonatal nursery one day I saw and said hello when she arrived, she went over to sit with her baby as all the mothers would do. The situation and environment is not easy because your maternal instincts are to protect and nurture your babies but you can’t because they are too tiny and need the doctors.

I hadn’t heard any of the monitors go off for her baby until she arrived, she was rubbing his tiny head and crying (which is understandable, it is a difficult situation) but later on she said she’d heard me talking to someone in the hospital room we shared and asked how I could be so positive given the situation. What I realized from her question was that she wasn’t able to feel the positive thoughts, she wasn’t able to see ahead and realize there was no other than a positive outcome and was therefore transmitting that energy into her baby’s energy causing him to stress.

Babies don’t know but they feel and even though pre-teens, teens and adults can recognize or understand it a little better we are still susceptible to absorbing the energy others are transmitting.

Energy is very real and very powerful and when used wisely can be a positive force in any experience.

If you want to effectively change an outcome you have to put all your energy into it and if you have half your energy in the past it’s of no use to you because you can’t change it, all you can do is move forward and see the outcome you want happen.

I think many of us do not realize how much power lies within us to effect change in our lives, through behaviour, attitude, thoughts and actions. Think about something that you excel at whether it is work, sports or play and when you are “in that zone” you are tapped into the Universe and all its positive power and since you are excelling it’s quite likely that you are in a state of oneness and peace with your inner core.

So let’s use sports as an example because as an eternal athlete at heart I can better articulate my point. I think any sport whether it is single player or a team requires you to be able to see the picture moves ahead to effect the outcome you want whether it is sinking that putt or the tic-tac-toe team play moves to put the puck in the net.

I realize not every single shot works in that same way because of course then there would be no competition and the games would be boring. Everything cannot perfectly fall into place every time and the reason it doesn’t is because not everyone believes in their subconscious that there is no other outcome, sometimes the negative thoughts get in and mess things up. If you are going to put up any walls in your mind and in your life, put them up against the negative.

The positive mind has no room available for anything other than positive thoughts and positive thoughts produce positive outcomes. If you want to effectively change and/or re-direct your life you must believe in your thoughts, yourself and the only outcome you are interested in seeing.

Keep your subconscious in check……….there is no other outcome!

miracles

 
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Posted by on November 17, 2014 in Blog

 

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At the End of Every Storm

Lies the Opportunity for New Beginnings

Our storms in life are the difficulties we experience and through them great change can evolve.same person from the storm

Some storms change YOU so much that you may find yourself going in a direction you never would have chosen, not for any other reason than you weren’t in a place that was in alignment with it before. These new directions are beyond the familiar and can feel scary but at the same time exhilarating at the prospect of what is to come.

Change is not always comfortable especially when it comes to the unknown which means you have to have faith that things will work out as they should and trust that it will be in your best interests. Having faith when you feel a little scared and somewhat skeptical can be a big leap but every time I’ve felt that kind of fear and anticipation it has ALWAYS turned out to be something great, a result that I couldn’t have planned better. I think that kind of anticipatory fear is the “little sign” for me that something big is to come, it may be different for you but pay attention to what your instincts tell you so you can learn when positive change is knocking at your door.

Change can be especially difficult for you if you are headstrong about having control over the direction your life is going, it’s not easy to relinquish it to faith or trust when you are used to being the guide. I can tell you though that it is always well worth it to have faith, even it at first you don’t understand eventually things make sense, so much so that you may wonder how you didn’t get it earlier.

New beginnings, new chapters, new paths all start with new thoughts and ideas and those thoughts are usually brought about by something that isn’t working for you any longer in your life. You may seek to shake up some part or all of your life because you’ve come to a point where feel that there is something bigger you should be doing. That is your purpose calling on you because you are finally within the range of alignment and the Universe assists by awakening that passion within your energy.

I do believe that anyone in search of a better life can entirely change everything around, one can walk into a new direction that inspires and cultivates positive attitude, behaviour and lifestyle simply by making that decision and then by following through. It takes dedication, determination, focus and discipline to carry out and continue on the path you desire and that takes more work than you can imagine but as you know anything worth having is worth working for.

It’s so easy to make a decision to do or change something, it’s another thing entirely to act on it and especially keeping up the momentum to see it through to the end.

I’ve at times made a change and then stopped because it seemed impossible but what I’ve learned is that this fear is created by my ego in an effort to keep me from progressing. Progression like this builds up the strength of your inner spirit and your inner spirit is not in any way connected to your ego. As the inner spirit gets stronger the ego diminishes because it is not needed within the state of inner peace and balance.  Strengthening that part of your being is the best asset you have in helping you succeed in any and all areas of your life.

So in the end, the storms even though they are not desirable, are necessary to your personal growth, awareness and understanding of your soul and the Universe. Know that they are not meant as punishment, they are to provide a higher learning.

Imagine that you are in a boat on the ocean in a real storm, what you learn in that scenario is no different than what you learn through your personal storms, we learn to navigate to survive so we can live another day.

within you is strength

 
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Posted by on November 10, 2014 in Blog

 

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Do I Know You?

I Think We’ve Been Disconnected

Not all relationships are meant to stand the tests of time, some are a mere passing on the road of life, some are to assist with lessons and some are the lessons. Learning to understand and differenciate the two is a life lesson in itself, honestly I think the difficult stuff is there to keep us humbled so we don’t get egos that are wildly overgrown.

its sad

It’s sad when people you know become people you knew, sometimes others don’t realize you’re a lifer or you don’t realize they are a lesson.

Your path was in place long before you arrived and you navigate without knowing the plans ahead not just because you are in search of the answers but in search of your best life, which I refer to as the charmed life.

If you are influenced with a positive mindset then you are chasing your dreams, looking to create and cultivate positive change that enhances the lives of everyone you touch.

If you are influenced with a negative mindset then you are expecting your dreams to chase you, believing positive change won’t happen and not wanting to do the work.

Both of these mindsets influence and/or affect your relationships and the conversations within those relationships. It takes authenticity to build and maintain relationships and only one moment of disrespect to hurt them. Left unaddressed that dent in the armor of the relationship can cause distance and from distance comes disconnection and disassociation.different paths

Your path is meant for you, some people will stay and travel on it with you because their path is running parallel to yours, maybe you each have something to offer, inspire or motivate the other. These are spiritual agreements and those choices were made consciously prior to your arrivals. Challenges arise when forks in the road present themselves, decisions are required and your free will is granted, depending on the spiritual agreements with those on the parallel paths this may be where a disconnection occurs, not that there is some sort of ending but rather another beginning that only you have chosen to take. Sometimes you meet up again much farther ahead because the two paths cross again and depending on the disconnection, maybe you pick back up where you left off or maybe you don’t. I have more in-depth thoughts about those that come into your life on a previous blog “In Your Life for a Reason, Season or a Lifetime”.

The experiences you have when off the beaten path are needed to build inner strength, wisdom and courage for the next leg of your journey. There are sometimes hills to climb and storms that need to pass but eventually the sun comes out again.

Every once in a while you see a signpost on your path, a déjà vu of sorts, that reminds you of past relations and experiences. These signposts have been strategically placed, maybe a similar experience is ahead on your path that requires your awareness so you can be prepared.

The sum of all your experiences continue to shape who you are daily, if you allow the negative to live in your energy you can expect that nothing will go your way until you shift it.

buddha quote

 
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Posted by on November 3, 2014 in Blog

 

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The Many Faces

What Human are You Being?

You have the opportunity to change the face you may have misrepresented during a bad moment through awareness, understanding, honesty and atonement but are you up to that task?

Do you have the personal honesty to acknowledge and take ownership of an action that that didn’t display the best side of you and the courage to admit a wrong?

They say “you never get a 2nd chance to make a 1st impression” but what about impressions that come along well after that? While you may have made a great 1st impression if you can’t keep the integrity flowing it’s going to be difficult and tiring just trying to keep up appearances.

How others treat you is their karma, how you react is yours – Wayne Dyerthoughts, word, actions

Your reaction to adversity is going to be the best look at who you are as a person for others and the best insight for you on how to change it. By developing your awareness through observation of your own reactions or overreactions you will learn how to control and prevent them from affecting your life negatively.

Allow the human and spirit that reside within you to commune often, it is very necessary and important to promote the growth of this bond. Their common ground will provide and enhance peace, balance and harmony within which is an essential part of your being.

Connection is not unique to one aspect of life it is the foundation of all aspects of life so that they can work together harmoniously. Connecting with others will help to build your relations with them into whatever direction you desire. Connecting with your spirit will enhance and empower your human life toward the destiny it has always been meant for.

Finding your way when you don’t know where to look or begin can be a daunting thought and I’ve found that it begins with connection:

Be Still:  Quieting the mind is the best way to find the answers you seek to specific issues or problems that arise in your life. There is a lot to be said for the quiet, it allows you to hear the solution more clearly than you would ever expect. It also allows your spirit and inner voice a platform to be heard, to be acknowledged and to be embraced. Your spirit has only one purpose and that is to guide you into your best life.

Be Alert:  Awareness of how you affect others is the spirit assistant in your life poking you in the side and saying “that’s not right!”, and being tuned into that is very important. When you open yourself up to that awareness you allow other emotions to feed and fuel your inner knowledge and outer behaviour so that the two can work together and balance each other so you don’t dip too far on the either side of the scale.

Be Conscious:  It’s really important to be present in the moments that matter. There’s no measurement of importance, if you can’t spare a moment of space for someone else then don’t pretend to. When you are consciously aware of your actions, overreactions or inactions I think you will find that you become more aware of how others respond and that awareness will ultimately change your interactions for a more positive trend.

You get in life what you prepare and make room for and there are internal and external aspects that can either enhance or inhibit the abundance you seek. You could end up blocking the space you created for your abundance just by having an attitude that isn’t in alignment with what you are making room for. It’s not just about making the room but also adapting your lifestyle and attitude to be consistent with what you envision.

If you are holding onto anything negative (anger, grudge, resentment, spite, etc.) they will all block that room from ever being filled with your dreams and the more you embrace them the further you get off your path until one day you find you don’t recognize where you are.

Success isn’t just about achieving something but achieving it with integrity and not stepping on anyone along the way. When I envision anything in my future it always contains a level of happiness, peace and balance but if my attitude now doesn’t contain those aspects then I won’t be in alignment for what I seek to come into my life until that changes. Karma has a way of balancing the scales.

Life at times can be difficult and there may be times where you end up blocking yourself simply because a day, week or month has worn itself on you for too long and brought you down but bringing yourself back to connection can lift the heaviness of that adversity and light the sky so you can see again where you need to be.

the universe speaks

 
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Posted by on October 27, 2014 in Blog

 

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What Have You Done For You Lately?

Living your Dreams?

At the end of the day you have to ask yourself, have I done all that I need to go in the direction I seek? You get out of life what you put into it, nobody is going to get their dreams served to them on a platter, if you want it, you have to put in the effort.

In order to live the life you dream of having you have to take the steps and by steps I don’t mean just saying it out loud, your actions are needed to reinforce the dream. You can’t just sit back and think to yourself “well I stated my intentions, I’ve done my part” but if that were enough then why is everyone else working so hard to achieve their goals? It’s because that’s what you have to do, anything worth having is definitely worth working for!

This applies to all aspects of life, not just your career, any area that you want to manifest abundance in requires your vested interest.

Abundance:  a large amount of something : an abundant amount of something

When you understand that abundance in any area of your life exists because you’ve tuned into it, made room for it and welcomed it in then you will find that same abundant life continues to grow and becomes more and more abundant. You cannot be tuned into abundance without having the basis of gratitude energetically operating in your state of being and it is through gratitude that abundance is cultivated.

A positive mindset is the key to any manifestation in life that you desire and “oh the places you will go” when you believe and see how it works, sometimes it can even seem surreal.

If you are not there it’s not because there are too many obstacles in your way, it’s because you’ve made room for there to be obstacles and you’ve told yourself that they are too big for you to get around. The only reason life goes in a negative direction is because your mindset is also feeling negative, like attracts like. If you feel you don’t deserve to be happy, the “Law of Attraction” responds and gives you more of what you’re thinking “I don’t deserve to be happy”, maybe time to change that tape for the positive!

You have to get out of your own way to allow good things to happen for you, you can’t allow any negative thoughts to impede you from your goal. If the negative finds an opening it will try to sift its way into your thoughts, recognizing and evicting it in that moment is your defense, use it well and a lot if you have to.

Too many times we allow others to define us but we are not defined by them or their thoughts, we are defined by our words and subsequent actions or inactions. How or what someone else feels or says about you doesn’t define who you are, it defines who they are and is very good insight into how they feel about themselves.

You have your own personal power at your disposal at any time to help you attain your dreams, think of it like global warming but instead it’s known as universal power and unlike global warming it’s a positive thing that we all have the ability to tap into.

Once you are “in the zone” there isn’t anything you can’t achieve. I’m sure you’ve had one of those days where “you know, you rock” and get everything that you wanted done and then some, days like these provide us with our own personal rewards of achievement for doing well and you should be proud of yourself.

It is that wave length that lets you know you are plugged in so take advantage of those days when they happen, use them to tackle fears you might not otherwise do on an off day because once you find the way to build on that momentum you will find that momentum comes along a lot more often.

The bottom line is if you want something go after it:

  • don’t defeat yourself before even trying
  • don’t convince yourself you can’t do it
  • don’t see any other outcome other than success

When you think, believe and see what you want as the outcome, there is no room for any other outcome other than that which you see and no other outcome will occur. When you allow and make room for what you see and feed it with positive thoughts the “Law of Attraction” responds and gives you more of what you’re thinking “I will see what I believe will occur”!

anything you want, you can attain

 
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Posted by on October 20, 2014 in Blog

 

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Happy Thanksgiving Canada!

A Day of Gratitude

Although the day of Thanksgiving is different in Canada than in the United States, the meaning is the same, it’s the day of thanks for all we appreciate and have gratitude for.

It’s important to have gratitude in your life, not just on Thanksgiving but as a daily ritual. I think too many times at the end of the day we find ourselves focusing on the things that didn’t go right instead of the things that did and it’s the thoughts that you feed the most that are going to grow.

If I am going to increase any specific state of being gratitude is the best place to start, it positively enhances all aspects of your life and builds an inner strength of character that is unmatched and unaffected by negativity.

gratitude, parent

Gratitude, appreciation and thanks for all that your life has brought to you so far will increase growth in the direction you seek. Your path will have many opportunities, obstacles and lessons along the way and understanding that they are all a part of your personal journey will help you to embrace the wisdom that gratitude ushers in.

Gratitude isn’t just a “means to an end”, it is a way of life that opens up so many other doors, ones you couldn’t imagine or know were there because it’s not just about giving thanks, it is a conscious shift into this state of being that is transitioned not just through forgiveness but awareness, vulnerability and acceptance as well and with it comes a state of happiness that you cannot buy, manipulate or manufacture.

There are many different ways to transition yourself into a daily gratitude ritual and it’s just a matter of finding the one that fits best for you. Possibilities I’ve heard of are starting a gratitude journal that you make entries into on either a daily, weekly or monthly basis. It’s a matter of being able to find that time to focus and make it an important part of your life because once you do those are the thoughts you are feeding and as a result they will grow.

The more you have gratitude for the more you will see the results of that gratitude manifest in your life. If you aren’t one that finds it easy to write your thoughts down, you could take a period of time in your day where you use your thoughts internally, like some of do at the end of the night before falling asleep. Honestly I think it would be better to replay thoughts of gratitude before falling asleep instead of occurrences of the day as it is a more positive place to have your subconscious drift into while you sleep and can then permeate those thoughts into flourishing throughout the following day.

It takes discipline at the beginning to maintain whichever gratitude process you create but as soon as it starts to become personal habit it will then be effortless and you will see your life change in all the ways you had hoped for.

happy thanksgiving

 
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Posted by on October 13, 2014 in Blog

 

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