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Tag Archives: letting go of the past

The Reward is the Warmth in Your Heart

Expectations Have No Place!

The “Give and Take” in every relationship should be one of equality on at least one level but hopefully more. The act of giving should always be with an open heart and without expectation but when the act of taking becomes overwhelming perhaps it’s time to revisit the foundation of the relationship to avoid developing the negative emotion of resentment.

An expectation is like broken trust or loyalty, it is corrosive, it does damage in ways you don’t even realize. An expectation can hold on well after a relationship has dissolved and develop into stumbling blocks or red flags during the period of time when new relationships begin to form. You may not realize it but when you are holding onto something from your past and are unwilling to change your story it deters people from wanting to be in your company and the only person that hurts is you.

Everyone always says “it’s the little things that count” and that is so true but if you attach an expectation to even the little things it’s diminishes its value greatly.

Respect, gratitude and graciousness towards others shouldn’t be compromised to serve only one and there is more reward, warmth in your heart, when the intention comes from a place of purity. No action taken for the purpose of manipulation, lies or self-serving behaviour comes from a positive place. Intention is everything and if it is anything less than unconditional then the intention that may have started out from a pure thought changes negatively. Be very aware of your intentions and actions because they speak much louder than any words can ever say and hurt at a far deeper level than anyone is usually willing to admit.

Sometimes you can unknowingly carry expectations into current or new relationships because a past issue that caused you emotional hurt is unresolved. Emotions are finicky and unpredictable and no matter how well you may think you’ve managed to control them they have a tendency to find a way back out and usually at the worst time!

I think the biggest indication to knowing you have truly moved past something is when you no longer feel any animosity or concern. Letting go is the act of releasing something you cannot change or control and allowing it to be. This is a good thing because if something is holding you back and preventing you from enjoying or embracing your life the way you deserve to than it was obviously something that didn’t belong on your path.

Trust that the universe is working for you, not against you and know that everyone that comes into your life and every experience happens for a reason. We are all an intricate and necessary part of the human existence and each of us will have an impact on at least one person if not more, I think it is best to make that impact be positive.

I heard this phrase recently, can’t remember where from but it went something like this:

“A man can accomplish anything when he realizes he’s a part of something bigger”

Think of the Universe as a huge puzzle and each one of us is a piece of it, even one of us gone causes the puzzle to be incomplete. So along that line, then what about when people pass on or new babies are born? I think the puzzle is constantly changing to adapt, encompass and embrace those changes but it doesn’t change the importance of any one of us, we are all relevant.

Once you give up your expectations, you will never be disappointed again! It’s as easy as changing your intention which immediately changes your direction and your attitude.

You can have everything you want in life if you stay focused!

expectations quote

 
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Posted by on May 14, 2014 in Blog

 

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Define Yourself!

Who Do You Think You Are?

You can’t go back, you can only move forward so the question is are you going to let your past define your future or let your future defy your past?

Neville’s Law of Assumption:

If this assumption is persisted in until it becomes your dominant feeling, the attainment of your ideal is inevitable.

This is one of my favorites from Neville and when this really sinks in it gives you the beauty of connecting with an understanding that is not only enlightening but empowering. Think on this for a moment and really absorb the level of consciousness that is being shared with this simple phrase and imagine how much you put into every thought that defines not only you but your actions on a daily basis.building the new

If you have a low opinion of yourself the energy you may be projecting towards others can come across in many different ways, usually none of them are productive or complimentary and that causes others to feel either dislike or indifferent toward you. Chances are if you are experiencing your life this way you aren’t happy about how your relationships or daily interactions transpire.   Most often when it is our own personal behaviour patterns in question it’s sometimes hard to pinpoint where positive change would be of benefit but my own experiences and observations have taught me that a stumbling block in the past is almost always where you will find the moment you got off course. It may seem surprising how little it takes to change or significantly alter your path onto one that not only inhibits your growth but prevents you from living the blessed life we are all meant for.

If you have a healthy opinion of yourself than the energy you project is much more balanced and you likely don’t require any sort of personal approval from others to determine your self-worth. People will be drawn to your candid, contented, happy aura and positive presence. Healthy for me includes humor and a good dose of it at even my own expense which can not only alleviate stress but helps to keep the ego in check.

It would be great if everyone could just be themselves and be comfortable and confident with it. We are all unique individuals and each of us have something to offer this world but if your true self and soul is blanketed by a negative definition of who you believe you are than you are depriving the world of getting to know you, the real you.

Imagine if you really embraced this enough so that your dominant feeling becomes one of positive self-image, it’s worth a try isn’t it? Especially if the outcome is that the attainment of your ideal becomes inevitable.

Our thoughts are much more powerful than I think we often realize and through our thoughts we can either impede or cultivate what we desire. Regardless of whether it’s tough love or not, there is a big difference between positive encouragement, constructive criticism and full-on discouragement and that difference can either impede or cultivate what we desire.

It doesn’t matter what others think, it matters what you think and if what you believe about yourself is in alignment with your standard of integrity. The line of integrity you should never cross is your own and we know when we are at the edge, it’s that feeling that tugs at your conscience and encourages you to do right, not wrong.

If your daily life is positively inspired by and through Neville’s Law of Assumption I don’t believe you will ever go in a wrong direction because it is fed from a place of positive and unconditional light.

a change of feeling, a change of destiny

 
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Posted by on May 7, 2014 in Blog

 

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The Ties that Bind

Releasing the Past!

The world of hurt caused by the feeling and expression of Anger, Grudge and/or Hurt can be overwhelming enough to stunt, damage or impede your personal growth and progression in life for the period of time it takes for you to purge it.

Most anger or grudges you hold onto come from a deep dark place of hurt, acknowledging that hurt and nurturing your feelings back into a positive state is the only way to move forward.  Obviously this is easier said than done in the lives of many, I know I’ve had my struggles with it.  When you feel wronged by another it can be difficult to let it go, most of us just want acknowledgement, to be heard, to be validated, to have our say and these are the most important parts of the process to help you move on and let it be.

Acknowledgement isn’t always easily found or accommodated:

  • The anger or grudge may be directed at someone who has now left the physical world
  • You aren’t able to find the right words to express exactly what you need to say to someone
  • The one causing the hurt is not easily reached mentally or emotionally which prevents them from fully understanding the negative effect they’ve had on you.

Not everyone realizes how much their words or actions can hurt another and some think “don’t be so sensitive” but in reality it’s that “sensitivity” that is you who you are and if they really know you then they know what will hurt you and should adjust accordingly.  I don’t mean walk around certain people like you’re on egg shells but know your audience and don’t expect everyone else to adjust to you if you don’t even try to adjust to them!

If you want others to be respectful of your feelings then be respectful of theirs, it’s as simple as it’s quoted:  “do unto others as you would have them do unto you”.  It doesn’t get more golden than that!words that hurt

If you become aware that you have hurt someone through your words or actions it is important to make amends not just for your own consciousness of behaviour but to help them process through their hurt.  I am not by any means going to say that I’m perfect, no one is!  I know I’ve been responsible for hurting someone’s feelings with my words or actions but my conscious always knows when I’m in the wrong and I try to make amends in whatever way I can through apology, understanding and validation.  The “sweep it under the table and forget it” isn’t the action to take when you realize you are wrong, it is only through acknowledgement that you can help the one you’ve hurt to let go of it and move ahead without issue.  It’s actually an important process for you as well to know you’ve made steps to correct words or actions that you know aren’t right because even though karma is a process associated with unconditional intention, if your intention isn’t to correct your wrongs then it is likely your karmic outcome will contain a few hiccups or difficulties.

Moving past hurt is basically a process you create for yourself, through whatever means, to help you channel it outward so it can then be released.  I journal my way through all the issues that cause me hurt or discontent and it is the best form of therapy for me but what works for me may not work for another, it’s just a matter of finding the process that works best for you but do try, it is important to release issues that prevent you from moving forward.

Holding onto past hurt doesn’t just control your life in the present it ruins it because it causes unhappiness and negative thoughts, negative thoughts sometimes evolve into negative actions.  Without resolution these issues will spill over into your future which can hold your life in a place of continuous cycle and recall of the moment(s) of hurt when it occurred.

It’s not as much about giving the one who has caused you hurt a break and letting it go as it is about letting it go so it doesn’t continue to hurt you so deeply.  The hurt you allow through supporting your anger or grudge will continually cycle and can cause irreparable damage to you emotionally, mentally and as a result, sometimes physically.  These three aspects of your health are co-dependent upon each other and when one is low it can alter your quality of life and honestly I don’t think that is something anyone deserves or needs to endure.

If you can, look to those in your life that you trust and admire who you can ask for assistance, advice or support whether that is through listening or helping you to make a plan.  I’ve found that when I have someone to talk to it makes a huge difference because it allows me to step outside myself so I can get a clearer perspective and vision for going forward in a better direction.

As difficult as it may be, embrace the pain, allow yourself to feel it fully so you can then start to heal, the more you heal the more you will be able to let it go and when you’ve finally rid yourself of the hurts that have paralyzed you for so long you will be able to move forward and enjoy the happiness you deserve and the future you are destined to live.

emily's quote

 
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Posted by on March 19, 2014 in Blog

 

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