Before Passing Judgement

28 Aug

Walk a Mile in Their Shoes

We really don’t know how someone else is feeling inside at any given moment, I think a lot of us have become really good at masking any feelings that are of a hurtful and negative nature, or at least we try to, some of us are more transparent than others.

I believe the energy spent to pretend nothing is wrong can be quite taxing on the spirit within and the outward affect can be to project that negativity onto others, most of the time it is not intentional.

When faced with an extreme situation it is natural to react from an emotional point of view and even if the situation doesn’t seem extreme to someone else, it may at the time feel extreme to the individual experiencing it and it’s not fair to make the judgement that it’s insignificant when you don’t live in their life every day.

My observations of these kinds of actions of judgement are that it is very much associated with the individual that is trying to cope with hurt or disappointment by pretending that nothing is wrong.  The burden of having to cope with that can be overwhelming and at some point they have to release some of the bottled up emotions to alleviate the intensity of this struggle, unfortunately acting out negatively is really unhealthy and does much more harm than good.

I believe it’s a cycle:

  • You’re hurt and upset, it’s becomes overwhelming and you project onto someone else
  • That someone judges you unfairly not knowing a thing about what you’re going through
  • You then experience more hurt from the judgement and the cycle starts again

This cycle is really harmful because it keeps you in a perpetual state of unhappiness and negativity.  The longer you stay in this cycle the more likely it is to manifest physically in your health, the only way out is to find a healthy and productive way to release it.  We are all unique and what works for one doesn’t always work for everyone, you just have to find the process that works best for you.

I’ve found that my best therapy for a healthier and more productive way to handle these feelings and emotions when they seem overwhelming and unbearable is to write my feelings out on paper.  The action of physically writing it and really connecting to my thoughts helps to take my mind out of the heightened level of disappointment and sadness that I may be feeling in that moment.  Even though the distraction is only temporary it gives me the time I need to address it, deal with it and release it.  It doesn’t fully release it from my thought process but it helps to minimize it enough to allow me to de-clutter my mind so I can then deal with it on a calmer level and eventually fully release it.

I’ve heard it said many times that when someone is projecting negativity onto you it usually has nothing to do with you and everything to do with them and how they are feeling inside but knowing that doesn’t make negative actions or words directed at you any easier.  It just becomes something you need to find a way to deal with and let go of.  Always consider the source and how instrumental they actually are in your life and that should help to minimize the overall effect.

I recently watched an “Oprah” show (re-run) and the discussion was about a man in Brazil (John of God).  Closing comments on this show was the perceptions of a Dr. Jeff Rediger of his experience there.

  • Perhaps the real heart within us is not just a pump
  • Perhaps the real heart within us is about Love and Faith
  • Perhaps the physical body is not who we really are
  • Perhaps we are these invisible souls walking around and the body is just an instrument or metaphor or something we are trying to learn

For me his comments shine a light on the greater purpose of our existence and reinforce my thoughts that all acts of negativity and ego-related behaviours are so irrelevant in comparison.

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Posted by on August 28, 2012 in Blog


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