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Monthly Archives: October 2013

You Are Enough!

29 Oct

Knowing Your Worth

Our value is very much attached and/or validated by our thoughts and our thoughts are fed through the Inner Dialogue of Self-Love and Self-Talk but that dialogue can be altered by outside influences during our weaker moments.

The weaker moments happen when you are feeling inferior, insecure or both and it causes you to question your self-worth in either one or all areas of your life but usually it’s only one area at a time.  I’ve found that I’m fairly confident when it comes to my career/work related area and I think that’s because there isn’t a lot of emotion attached because while it is the hand that feeds me (so to speak) it’s not the one that keeps me breathing.  My love (family & friends) is the area that keeps me breathing and feeds my inner spirit with all things that are beautifully and emotionally joyful and sometimes challenging.  Of course anything connected to emotion has the power to elevate you or take you down and it’s usually when you’re down that you question your worth.Jillian Quote

Self-Love:

You need to have enough self-love for yourself before you can offer your love to someone else and if you don’t trust yourself then how can you trust anyone else?

–         When you are passionate about who you are you exude a light of warmth and contentment that doesn’t need any outside influence for validation and what you project draws others to you without effort.

–         Trusting in a Faith you cannot see or touch are the seeds of Hope and it is through that Belief that the soul is nourished.

–         Humility and Gratitude Always!  Your Ego will constantly wrestle with you for control but it is these two states of being that give you the growth without changing who you authentically are.

Self-Talk:

What do you tell yourself about who you are and how others perceive you?

You shouldn’t have to prove anything to anyone for them to believe in you.  If someone really cares about you they don’t need proof, they feel it and they honor that feeling by showing unconditional support through whatever context the relationship exists.highlight reel

–         You are a human soul with feelings and what you tell yourself should be just as honest and compassionate as it is with others.

–         Don’t assume that someone is thinking negatively of you unless they’ve actually voiced it.  Any assumptions I’ve ever made in that area have caused me to feel bad about myself needlessly.

–         Regardless of what your past has been we all deserve forgiveness.  You cannot change what was but you can create anew of what is to come.  Regret can be a breeding ground for negative self-talk and does not serve any purpose except for allowing the Ego to gain control.  It is through positive change going forward that regret is silenced.

I do believe that it is through our formative years that our true identity is created and the core of our being does not change but our formative years are the foundation and what grows around that foundation depends on who we aspire to become.  Yes, circumstance and outside influences definitely affect that foundation but our formative years are from a very early age (0-5 years) and within that age category there isn’t a good or bad seed that is planted but rather exposed and we always have the free will to choose which direction we want to gravitate towards.

If you feel like your worth isn’t as strong as you’d like it to be, whether that is from the effects of the external stresses of existence or not I believe it is your Love (family & friends) that are the keys to reinforcing your strength.  When others have drained you, whether that is by your own allowance or not, it is usually your family, friends or both that help you put the pieces of the puzzle back together.  It’s not that you are broken but rather that you’ve forgotten just how special and important you are to those that love you and they are there to remind you of your worth.

We are all here to learn, to experience and to grow and even
though our challenges and life paths are different from one another, no one person’s light is more important.

the-same-moon

 
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Posted by on October 29, 2013 in Blog

 

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Oops, I Did it Again!

22 Oct

Changing your Patterns

Do you find that no matter how much you think a situation is different this time you end up with the same outcome?  A pattern that repeats itself continually is a sign that you aren’t dealing with something and it’s going to keep coming back, usually it hits harder each time.  This is the Universe’s way of reminding you that in order to have a different outcome you need to change your patterns.

Definition of Insanity:  Doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result.

No one gets through life without some pain but the pain doesn’t need to continually occur because you haven’t recognized the variety of consistencies that you keep repeating.  I think when we repeat the same pattern the awareness we need to develop is learning to recognize that there is an underlying issue that needs to be addressed.  The pattern exists because there is at least one area within you that is lacking and somewhere in the repetition of the cycle that area is being fed by the pattern, figuring out those areas can only be discovered through honest self-reflection.  My personal opinion is that the patterns we play and re-play in our lives are created from something that began and/or was learned in our formative years, those are the years that truly are the most important time of our lives.  Those years create and form the basis of who we are and will become and what we see and learn in that time is what we will continue to seek out whether we realize it or not.

The only way for us to progress is by changing the patterns that we imprison ourselves with.

stop chasing the wrong things

So if you know something isn’t working why would you keep allowing it to occur?  I think most of us go into all things with a positive mindset and outlook that things are different this time and that’s not a bad thing but sometimes what we see in others is a reflection of our own prospects and it’s that false sense of security that the ego uses to trick us into repeating the same patterns.  The ego definitely gets something out of it and in turn makes us think we are in control but that may be the problem because instead of trying to guide an outcome we must allow things to be as they are, change and grow as they are meant to.  In trying to control any situation you are likely to find that it gets more and more out of control because the natural reaction is to resist when feeling pinned down and disappointment will always follow.  Sometimes realizations of being wrong can hurt and I know that when I have made those kinds of realizations it has left me feeling conflicted in being able to trust my own instincts.  When you feel your own instincts have betrayed you, where do you go from there?  Self-Reflection, is my only answer, taking a real hard look at where my missteps keep taking me.

My last life challenge, as difficult as it was, turned out to be of more significance than I had realized at first and broke me wide open but it is because of that challenge that I have found my way back to a path I started on years ago before I got so far off course.  Finding myself again seems profoundly familiar except that I now carry much more wisdom, experience and gratitude.  I may have fallen down at times but I will ALWAYS get back up and when I do my determination to move forward is that much stronger.

Whether or not it has been said or thought of this way I believe that the proverbial baggage that we all carry (no one is free of it) consists of many things including life experiences and it is the culmination of all that baggage that creates who we are today.  I don’t know that I view baggage as a bad thing, even though some refer to it that way, I think it’s just a matter of whether or not each of our collective baggage (experiences and situations) fits or compliments those involved in our lives.  Comfort with others is not found within trying to make their life (baggage) fit but rather fitting into each other’s lives comfortably and without prejudice.

You can’t change or erase someone’s past and if who they are or have become no longer feels comfortable then maybe it’s time to get honest.  Parting ways in any kind of relationship is difficult because it wouldn’t be ending unless there was something that was causing it to end but staying to avoid hurting someone would eventually hurt them more.

Quote:  You can choose courage or you can choose comfort, you cannot have both  — Brene Brown

Changing your patterns so you can embrace the people that fit or compliment your life is not an easy task.  It takes time to develop the awareness to recognize how the pattern begins and then more time to learn how to divert it but once you’ve found that rhythm you will find that what lies ahead can be positively life changing!

self-transformation

 
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Posted by on October 22, 2013 in Blog

 

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When the Storm Ends

15 Oct

A New Beginning Opens Up

I can breathe again!

With the end of any challenging experience brings the opportunity for a new beginning and direction in life.  We aren’t defined by the challenges themselves or if we make mistakes, we are defined by the changes we make as a result.

My recent challenges have finally levelled off and in the last couple of weeks I finally had the chance to exhale.  My renewed sense of awareness, focus and direction are creating a sense of peace that feels like I am in a state of relaxation all day long.  I don’t know if it is just that my mind and body have finally de-activated the “All Systems Alert” button or if the new beginning is the major cause but what I do know is that my new normal is feeling fabulous!

The Storm itself is meant to cause upheaval and depending on what your life lessons are and where you are on your path that upheaval could be either minor or major.  If you are too far off your destined path the major storm can be quite stressful but the storms themselves open up opportunity for growth and transition that you may not have reached without it and hopefully the wisdom you gain is used to your best advantage.  The storms should NEVER be wasted and what ALWAYS comes with them is the opportunity to change things to your liking, you always have a choice.

I’ve experienced both minor and major storms and “God willing” there aren’t many more of the major ones destined but honestly it feels like my latest one really cracked me open and as hard as it was to deal with I really like the end result.

Along with my new beginning came a greater appreciation for the parts of life I used to rush through, I used to get so stressed about making everything I had on my plate fit into my day whether it took up all of my “ME” time or not.  I crammed as much as I could in my day in order to whittle down my ever-growing “to do” list but I was depriving myself of a much needed decompress time at the end of the day and I’ve been doing this for many months, maybe even a year.  No wonder my new sense of peace and direction has me feeling like I’m in a state of relaxation all day long, it makes sense that unwinding from that much lack of self-preservation feels so cathartic.

There were so many benefits that I’ve been able to take away from all my experiences and digging for the deeper strength has been the hardest task but I definitely learned that no matter what if you have to go through something difficult, don’t do it alone!  Regardless of how strong you may think you are, vulnerability is the key to finding the new path.  It doesn’t mean you are weak, actually it is probably the moment you are most open because when you are vulnerable you don’t have the fight left to resist.  Resistance is what prevents you from embracing change and during the storms is the time when the most change is needed.

If you are currently in a storm in your life (minor or major), neither are easy, keep reminding yourself that it will eventually pass and when it’s done there are many gifts on the other side waiting for you.  Embrace them for all that they offer, stay open and mindful that you don’t resist.  You have more inner strength than you probably realize and when you dig the deepest the biggest rewards will follow.  The rewards may not look the way you had envisioned, they will likely be better and bring you a greater sense of peace, as they did with me.

adversity #2

 
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Posted by on October 15, 2013 in Blog

 

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Every Chapter of Your Life

08 Oct

Brings in More Depth

I’ve noticed that the “meaning of life” has become deeper and more meaningful as time goes on.  This is something I had never anticipated when I was a teenager because my experiences then didn’t carry the wisdom I gained later in my adult years.  As a teenager or young adult I didn’t realize the depth that life would eventually bring because I was preoccupied with trying to find my place in the world, looking for my independence.  That period of my life gave me the freedom to learn and discover how to find my way, and the struggles that I encountered along the way helped to build my determination to succeed in attaining the life I had envisioned.  Actually that vision hasn’t changed much, yes there are a few improvements to the plan and the only reason it took me so long to reach my desired goal is because I got distracted trying to help others build their dreams.

dhirubhai ambani quotes

In the case of the above quote I wasn’t hired, my natural instinct is to help especially if I see someone struggling and I think there’s something I can do to assist.  The downfall is that as much as you may want to help someone where you can, you may be doing them more harm than good because how can they build their own determination if you are doing all their work.

I’ve learned many life lessons so far that have definitely challenged me and I’ve discovered that there is so much more to the relationships we form with others than just what we see on the surface.  I’ve found that my favorite relationships are those that are truly authentic and authenticity is not something that can be fabricated.  These are the relationships I aspire to and those that were false have been unable to sustain any challenges and have fallen away and/or ended.

Not all endings are sad, some endings are closure to a challenging time, some endings signify personal victory and some endings reinforce your faith in direction of life.  Like “Semisonic’s” lyrics say, “every new beginning comes from some other beginnings end”.  Endings must occur in order to create room for the new beginning and that new beginning is an unopened present from the universe, full of opportunities and choices that are yours to embrace.  Every opportunity can branch out into so many other areas and most of us either don’t attempt to explore them or don’t notice they are there because we too busy looking back at the last ending.  Everything happens for a reason, everything begins for a reason and everything ends for a reason.  The learning offered with every new beginning can literally change your life and it’s usually for the better.  There are so many beautiful things out there for us to learn and to remain open is the best way to enjoy all that life has to offer.

If you are feeling like life owes you than you are doing more to deprive yourself of the enjoyment of it than any one person or group could.  Pay attention to the gifts that you have already been given and are living, you may be taking more for granted than you realize.  Living in gratitude for the basics is the best way to increase your appreciation for the bigger moments.  When you are grateful for the smaller gifts in life it makes the bigger gifts that much more spectacular and meaningful.

I’ve found that other people’s ideas of who I should be don’t have value for me anymore and what matters most is how comfortable and content I am in my own skin.  With that comfort and content comes the confidence that allows me to embrace the depth that life has been offering, the depth that provides me with greater clarity and direction.  There is no pretense to who I think I should be or who I think others think I should be, my comfort with who I am allows me the freedom to explore and determine the types of relationship I seek and those relationships are the ones with true connection and meaning.  True connection can be found in the moments when nothing monumental is happening but you feel drawn and connected to another soul for an inexplicable reason except that it feels natural, comfortable and familiar.  There are some connections I’ve encountered that I don’t know why I feel the instant connection and I think that’s because sometimes our souls recognize that familiar soul before our minds or hearts do.

One of the changes I’ve discovered in myself over the last 10 years is that the people that I truly connect with are not those who I used to and those that I used to I never really knew.  It’s not that I was closed off before it was that I hadn’t truly been opened up, it takes experiences to bring wisdom.  Monumental and life changing experiences can propel us onto a path that we never realized existed and into the lives of those we never really noticed were there.  The people I’ve noticed now are truly authentic and have more depth than I ever realized I would see or feel.

I believe the path that our experiences propel us onto is where the universe has always meant for us to go and the people we encounter on that path are there for a reason.  Some of them are meant to stay and some are meant to leave but all are meant to help us get to where we are meant to be.  I don’t believe in coincidences, everything happens for a reason, and all reasons eventually become clear when the time is right.  There are some reasons still left to evolve in my life and I look forward to the clarity when it comes because so far I haven’t been disappointed.  All of my life lessons have brought me greater awareness and insight and with each of these lessons I develop a greater appreciation for the things I took for granted.  I think we all forget at one time or another and take the simplest thing for granted, not because we are unappreciative but because life is busy and hectic and it’s the pace that keeps us from stopping and taking it all in for what it really is, a gift.

I know that my comfort and contentment with where I am in life right now will only increase as time goes on and as much as I don’t want to rush the future I look forward to the gifts, blessings and insight that are to come.  As much as I know this chapter has brought depth, the remaining chapters in life will bring even more clarity and substance.

life-is-not-about-the-amounds-of-breaths-you-take-beauty-quote

 
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Posted by on October 8, 2013 in Blog

 

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Bring It On!

01 Oct

Facing the Challenge

Challenges not only define our character but they build it as well.

Who are you really?  Are you someone that pushes the limits to achieve because you feel so strongly that it is your destined path?  Or do you say to yourself “I’m not sure, I’ll sit back and wait” and then never try because it’s easier?

I am someone who pushes the limits, I like a challenge, I think for me that comes from being an athlete in competitive team sports.  I don’t get as much athletic sport in as I used to, responsibilities are more in demand but competition has always been very inspiring and motivating for me.  Chances are if you’ve ever taken part in any team sport “sitting back and waiting” isn’t a desired skill of any team player, you have to get in there and dig a little.

Although being a team player doesn’t necessarily mean that “pushing the limits” is carried out in your daily life as well, you may feel you’re not as confident alone as you are with the team.  It all depends on you personally, what your goals and intentions are and how strongly you feel about what you want out of this life.

adversity

Recently I had to adapt to a difficult and challenging experience and I have to admit that while in the midst of it I did not feel very strong but now through it and out on the other side I’ve found that it has expanded my awareness and opened my beliefs to a higher level of appreciation.  Every life experience, no matter the level of difficulty, is there to teach us something.  We all go through experiences that ultimately are there to make us a better person and we have two choices.  We can either recognize, learn and grow from them or we can ignore them and wallow in our dislike of the experiences.

Obviously the more challenging the experience the greater the demand is for inner strength to endure it and depending on the circumstances and how much support you have around you, it can affect how well you cope.  Sometimes being alone can put you in the company of your worst enemy.

I’ve had conversations with others who have evoked the same emotion at that moment that they felt at the time when recalling something that made them sad.  It’s amazing how the heart can hold onto an emotion for what seems like an eternity even well after a challenging transition has concluded.  I think sometimes it can feel surprising that our emotion just sits there below the surface, dormant until something triggers it.

I feel that this recent experience was meant to break me open yet again to propel me onto a new path and eventually when I do take a glance back to see how far I’ve come I will be surprised, monumental change is ahead and it’s all positive!

My faith was challenged, as was my inner strength but now I say “Bring it On!”, I have the determination to not let my challenges or tests break or weaken me, I know they are meant to make me stronger.  It all starts with taking that “leap of faith”; a real “leap of faith” means believing in something so fiercely that there is no possibility for any other outcome other than that which you believe in.  That belief cannot be deterred by circumstance, delay or setbacks; it is ignited by signs and omens that insinuate and fan the flames of our imagination and intuition of that which we see in our mind’s eye and will come to be.

Remember, it’s not about what you take with you, it’s about what you build and authenticity is the most important character trait you can possess.  Genuine, heartfelt emotional connections to others are the bread of life and it’s through those connections that we find who we are meant to be, what we are meant to do and where we are meant to go and ultimately who will be with us.

Those kindred spirits are the ones we are meant to connect with, the ones we travel through this life with and the ones we can’t do without.  Build that life and only happiness can follow.

best things must be felt

 
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Posted by on October 1, 2013 in Blog

 

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