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Off the Beaten Path

Finding Your Way with Feeling

Have you at one time experienced the moment, day, week or month (hopefully not a year) of feeling lost without hope or options?  Most times feeling lost creates a sense of panic and the extent of that panic of course depends on how much of an over thinker you are.  Getting a hold of yourself and your thoughts to find the way out is your best and only option.

It is my sense that feeling lost is related to some sort of conflict that you feel overwhelmed, overpowered or minimized by.

Conflict itself is just your soul’s way of communicating to you that are off your path, that you aren’t where you are destined to be.  I think many of us get so caught up in the details of a conflict that we miss the lesson while heading toward our intended destiny.  I don’t mean exactly that certain people aren’t meant to cross and/or be in your life but rather that instead of focusing on the conflict try to figure out why it is there to begin with.  What or who are you really battling against?

Keep the bigger picture in mind when assessing conflict or issues of any kind, not everything is as negative as it seems to be.  Just maybe it is meant to propel you into a new direction, a direction you might not otherwise have discovered had you not been pushed.  Maybe it is connected to a quality or characteristic you need to develop to fit into the puzzle that is your future destiny.  I kind of see things in that perspective as each of my experiences pass and I have time to reflect on what the real purpose/lesson was.  I usually find that I have gained greater clarity and that what I’ve learned or developed as a result of the experience will help me going toward my purpose.  There are some that I had to repeat, I guess I just felt I knew better at times and how wrong I was and pained to have to go through one again but thankful at least that I could look back and make the connection changing it from the negative experience into a positive result.

Taking back the power, your power, that you’ve allowed the experience to take control of is your bridge to freedom.

It is my thought that the four elements to embracing this perspective, attitude and outlook are to focus on what you’ve gained instead of what was taken away and/or needed to be shed.

Intention:  When you go into any experience it isn’t likely that your intention is to falsely represent yourself, at least I hope not.  If your intention is pure and positive than it is important to include your intention as reference when you look back to assess what went wrong and why the outcome did not turn out as you had hoped.  Everything happens for a reason!

Receptive:  Are you receptive to the thoughts and opinions of others, not in the way of dismissing your own but open to meeting another’s actions, behaviours and opinions with love and acceptance?  Allowing them to be who they are without judgement or constraint?  By remaining receptive you show that you are considerate and respectful and not trying to force a response or outcome you want which in turn shows another how you also want to be treated.  We teach people how to treat us!

Abundance:  I used to associate abundance in a monetary sense very long ago and of course that was a very naïve assumption.  Abundance is present in so many areas of life and monetarily is actually the least valuable.  Abundance in love, respect and compassion towards yourself and for others are the highest of value and my most cherished.  You cannot buy any of these nor can you force them, they are most beautiful when given freely and without attachment.  The authentic moment is priceless!

Gratitude:  It’s important to have gratitude for even the difficulties as terrible as they are because it is both good and bad experiences that shape you into the person you become.  When I have experiences that don’t turn out the way I hoped I have always concluded that there must have been an aspect of myself I needed to grow or strengthen to better serve me in the future.  Becoming aware of each and every success or challenge that has changed something in me for the better is why I continue to keep this faith.  Even the small steps matter!

When you find yourself off the beaten path do whatever you need to rein yourself back in, look for your signs they truly are all around you trying to guide you back and remember:

  • Everything happens for a reason
  • We teach people how to treat us
  • The authentic moment is priceless
  • Even the small steps matter

Forge ahead with intention, change your negative experiences into positive, stay open and receptive to welcoming abundance in your life with a big dose of gratitude!

 
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Posted by on May 2, 2018 in Blog

 

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Have A Word With Yourself!

You Can’t Change What You Don’t Acknowledge

Do you find, at times, that you jump to the wrong conclusions causing an inappropriate reaction before letting a conversation finish?

Do you find that those reactions are consistently having a negative effect on your relationships and communications with others?

Do you often believe that you are right without considering the possibility that there may be more for you to learn?

When you close your mind from empathizing, understanding, considering and/or acknowledging other points of view then you cut yourself off from your own evolution of personal growth.  Not only does this prevent you from developing your soul but it stagnates your relations with others as they continue to grow and evolve with others that share their interests.

We all want to connect, we all want to be heard and we all want to be acknowledged.

When you disregard another person’s feelings you are rejecting their right to have a voice, you are suppressing their concerns and most importantly you are negating their pain.

when-a-person-says-you-hurt-them

Respect, appreciation and gratitude are the foundation for every aspect of life;

Respect is not only those around you (like the waiter, the clerk at the store or someone down on their luck) but the items you use in your daily life, everything is energy!

If you were to abuse your vehicle, an appliance or your home eventually they would begin to deteriorate.  Nature and our environment thrive on the generosity of our respect, for it is all living energy that requires nurturing and without that becomes listless and dies, some damage irreversible.

Appreciation for every experience, lesson and opportunity can provide you with a renewed sense of insight.  Not just the good but sometimes even the worst experiences lead us onto a better path and usually with a stronger of self and clarity.  It may be that your purpose is connected to one of those experiences.

Lessons are also an essential part of life, not everything can be gained from the knowledge contained in books, first-hand experience is the best teacher you will ever have, sometimes not the most favorable but usually the most effective.  All opportunities are gifts, ones that shouldn’t be refused because they look like work or aren’t as appealing to the eye as you’d like.

Gratitude (noun):  the quality of being thankful; readiness to show appreciation for and to return kindness.

Is gratitude something you do occasionally or how you live?  Is your gratitude based only on what you receive from others or are you grateful for their mere presence in your life?  Do you only at times offer the words to express that gratitude or is it something you believe is just known by those around you?

Active gratitude is an empowering and happy energy to embrace and practice daily, one that will fuel and nurture your soul and the souls of those around you.+

Without gratitude you lose the whole purpose of your journey, without respect you lose yourself.

You can’t change what you don’t acknowledge!

prime-purpose-is-to-not-hurt-others

 
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Posted by on January 25, 2017 in Blog

 

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Just Say No!

The Dark Can’t Live in the Light

When it comes to relations with others it is the positive that is most enjoyed and of course the negative is not something you seek but sometimes what you fall into. No matter which of these that may occur in your life I believe that all relations can teach you something. In finding the lessons and/or wisdom you will end up gaining much more than you might initially think you’ve lost. I am well aware that toxic relations bring personal and emotional pain but through the havoc comes a greater desire for understanding and connection.

Negativity can be passed on through continued interaction and/or exposure to a negative and unhealthy energy, it’s a breed all on its own and these energy vampires can multiply over time. I don’t know that there is a fix-it solution or cure to rehabilitate negativity that has been conditioned over a long period of time but I wouldn’t say there is no chance because I think everyone has a shot at changing their life and behaviour around, it starts with the individual and what that personal choice in life is.

The dark can’t live in the light, negativity requires that others allow it, enable it, don’t question it but unfortunately that comes with a personal price. Your integrity, your soul, your sense of well-being is affected by your personal choices so it’s important not just for those you care about but for yourself to choose and follow your best life. Any or every time you make this compromise, even if it is for the sake of not ruffling any feathers, you are causing damage to your inner soul. When it comes to the times of processing your thoughts, sometimes at the end of the day or maybe in the silence, pay attention to how these choices affect your overall well-being, especially when you know deep down that you’ve made this kind of compromise?

what are you doing for others

Intention is everything and karma is the result and/or potential outcome of that intention. When you do something positive with the intention of creating good karma it won’t have that desired effect. When you do something positive with the intention of enriching the life of another without thought of karma, you are in effect at that moment creating good karma. Alternatively if you do something negative with the intention of hurting another you are also creating karma and it won’t be good. The wheel of karma is always spinning and your intention (good or bad) will always be connected to it.

The best actions are those inspired by good thoughts and the desire to elevate joy in the lives of others not for any other purpose but to bring happiness.

Sometimes in an effort to not be hurtful to another by being genuinely honest you end up extending your personal boundaries past your acceptable line, a line that will continue to recede until you stop it. Everyone’s boundaries matter and anyone who has respect for you and for themselves won’t attempt to push past those boundaries.

I can understand the emotions that motivate thoughts of revenge when something like this happens and as much as you might think you will enjoy it chances are you really won’t. Negativity’s only purpose is to consume, feed, destroy, control and contain your life lessons by derailing the positive. When you allow it, enable it or don’t question it you are willingly giving up your life lesson opportunities that are meant to help progress you to living your best life.

None of us are so great that we are above our life lessons, we are not above the challenges or the joys and when you try to prevent (enable) another from learning a hard life lesson, you aren’t doing that person or yourself any favors. You are preventing that person from experiencing life, we all have to feel everything, without it how would any of us develop genuine humanity.

If you have strong enough faith in the positive aspects and life force of the Universe you will find that they are working together to help you reach your goals. Things don’t happen instantaneously in any direction, everything is a process and takes time and as long as you can maintain enough patience to see yourself through then you can affect change.

be the change

 
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Posted by on August 16, 2015 in Blog

 

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A Friend Indeed!

The Connections We Build

Throughout my life I’ve known acquaintances that have turned into friends and friends that have turned into acquaintances. All of them have brought something to my life whether through caring, sharing or clearing. Just because the plan is not for them to stay doesn’t mean their presence and/or effect isn’t beneficial, all experiences have the gift of lessons learned which bring about some form of personal growth and wisdom.

Not every experience has been a joyful one but I have always been able to find the lesson, maybe not right away but eventually and knowing that there is always something to be gained and that “everything happens for a reason” helps to keep me from having regrets. I try to approach every new experience with an open heart, open mind and eyes wide open without bringing anything from the past except the wisdom gained. That’s not always easy especially if there are similarities and warning bells going off but all of us are unique therefore the experiences will also be unique regardless if something feels the same, sometimes past emotions of “hurt” can cause you to overthink. Sometimes continually reminding yourself that “all experiences are not the same” is a necessity to keep your head on the level.

look for the learning

The human experience is supposed to be challenging, if it weren’t don’t you think you would be bored and looking for a challenge? I don’t think it’s supposed to just be go to work, earn your money, make house and then surrender when you get to old age. It’s the experiences in between that make up the life, the connections that don’t necessarily have any kind of shared history but manifest when nothing monumental is happening, they create the memories and nice pictures we keep in our minds and hearts to strengthen these connections.

These connections whether they have history or not become a strong foundation, I believe it’s just the occurrence of souls finding other familiar souls. Souls, like friends, travel though many lives together and because of the human experience we don’t know or remember the past lives but our souls do, we just naturally gravitate toward one another and experience an instant connection like we’ve known each other forever.

Have you ever felt that kind of instant and strong connection with someone?

If so, has it continued to strengthen over time?

Do you continually discover new things about them that are oddly but warmly familiar?

A lot of friends and acquaintances that come, go or stay in your life bring with them the challenges that will help to shape you as you go forward through life and for me it’s been the friend that keeps me on the rails, pumped up enough to persevere but grounded enough to remain humble that has helped me the most. I find though that even the new friends and connections I make now are more in alignment with my path because I have more direction in my life than I did when I was in my 20’s and more interest in the quality of it, the meaningless tends to fall away over time.

care enough to be there

It is great though when people who you have lost touch with that held a special place in your life come back in to once again share and connect. I believe we do transition both in and out of people lives at certain times not for any other reason than that there is another path we need to be on to grow and when/if those paths eventually meet up again what comes with it is a warmth of familiarity and history.

Don’t waste your connections, they may be Priceless!

 
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Posted by on January 26, 2015 in Blog

 

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Do I Know You?

I Think We’ve Been Disconnected

Not all relationships are meant to stand the tests of time, some are a mere passing on the road of life, some are to assist with lessons and some are the lessons. Learning to understand and differenciate the two is a life lesson in itself, honestly I think the difficult stuff is there to keep us humbled so we don’t get egos that are wildly overgrown.

its sad

It’s sad when people you know become people you knew, sometimes others don’t realize you’re a lifer or you don’t realize they are a lesson.

Your path was in place long before you arrived and you navigate without knowing the plans ahead not just because you are in search of the answers but in search of your best life, which I refer to as the charmed life.

If you are influenced with a positive mindset then you are chasing your dreams, looking to create and cultivate positive change that enhances the lives of everyone you touch.

If you are influenced with a negative mindset then you are expecting your dreams to chase you, believing positive change won’t happen and not wanting to do the work.

Both of these mindsets influence and/or affect your relationships and the conversations within those relationships. It takes authenticity to build and maintain relationships and only one moment of disrespect to hurt them. Left unaddressed that dent in the armor of the relationship can cause distance and from distance comes disconnection and disassociation.different paths

Your path is meant for you, some people will stay and travel on it with you because their path is running parallel to yours, maybe you each have something to offer, inspire or motivate the other. These are spiritual agreements and those choices were made consciously prior to your arrivals. Challenges arise when forks in the road present themselves, decisions are required and your free will is granted, depending on the spiritual agreements with those on the parallel paths this may be where a disconnection occurs, not that there is some sort of ending but rather another beginning that only you have chosen to take. Sometimes you meet up again much farther ahead because the two paths cross again and depending on the disconnection, maybe you pick back up where you left off or maybe you don’t. I have more in-depth thoughts about those that come into your life on a previous blog “In Your Life for a Reason, Season or a Lifetime”.

The experiences you have when off the beaten path are needed to build inner strength, wisdom and courage for the next leg of your journey. There are sometimes hills to climb and storms that need to pass but eventually the sun comes out again.

Every once in a while you see a signpost on your path, a déjà vu of sorts, that reminds you of past relations and experiences. These signposts have been strategically placed, maybe a similar experience is ahead on your path that requires your awareness so you can be prepared.

The sum of all your experiences continue to shape who you are daily, if you allow the negative to live in your energy you can expect that nothing will go your way until you shift it.

buddha quote

 
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Posted by on November 3, 2014 in Blog

 

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When You Know Better, You Do Better

Strengthening the Ground You Stand On!

This eye-opening phrase comes from Maya Angelou and I first heard it when watching an Oprah Winfrey show a few years ago and even though at the time I thought I understood the meaning it turns out it didn’t fully sink in until recently when watching one of Oprah’s Lifeclass segments where she really dug into it.

Even though all of her shows, master classes and now lifeclasses focus on life enrichment and enlightenment for the betterment of our inner spirits I have always found it amazing that she could interview anyone and I mean anyone, including those that have been negatively labelled by society. How does she do it without reservation or judgement with regard to the actions that have brought the negative labels attached to them? A lot of times we can end up judging another person based on what we’ve heard or seen of their actions but who are we to judge? I’m quite sure that no one is perfect, everyone has made a mistake at one time or another.

I have chastised myself for the times I’ve allowed others to take advantage of an aspect of my personality and what I finally got from this phrase was while it was not nice for someone to take advantage they were able to do so because I let them, now I know better. I can’t continually punish myself for the actions of someone else because I was hurt by it, all I can do is learn from it and strengthen my boundaries so it doesn’t happen again “When you know better, you do better”.

awakening

What an “aha” moment it was when I finally got this in its full context and along with it came the enlightenment that if someone hurt me in my past I can’t continue to judge them for it now or carry it into my future because I allowed it, I let it happen. I didn’t knowingly consent to it but I also didn’t object, I didn’t communicate my discontent and that’s on me. Just maybe, they didn’t know better or maybe they did but that doesn’t matter because all actions have karmic consequences doled out only by the Universe and if someone knowingly and/or willingly takes advantage of another it is not my karma, it is theirs.

Negative experiences usually cause internal emotional hurt and/or pain and we all deal with these kinds of experiences differently. Some act out aggressively to release it, some internalize and act out passive aggressively and some bottle it up. The best way to heal is to acknowledge the hurt, allow yourself to feel it so you can make peace with it, learn from it and only then can you truly move forward and release it.

Negative experiences can sometimes stall you in life and paralyze you from moving forward, keeping you in that time to remember it over and over again. Knowing and doing better because of it frees you.

I’ve made my own mistakes, I learned from most of them, sometimes I had to make them twice to learn but “when you know better, you do better”. I certainly don’t make the same mistakes anymore because now I know better and what I’ve now learned to consider is that maybe those who have caused me hurt in the past were acting out of their own pain. Embracing this philosophy has given me a heightened sense of awareness into myself and others and has shown me another level of the “judgement” lesson, I don’t think any of us ever have it all figured out. This “aha” realization has taught me the deeper meaning of empathy and its connection to all of our emotional challenges but in this case specifically judgement, which has allowed me to further my trust that the Universe takes care of us all in relation to the life we live and the seeds we sow.

when-you-know-better-you-do-better

 
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Posted by on April 23, 2014 in Blog

 

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When the Storm Ends

A New Beginning Opens Up

I can breathe again!

With the end of any challenging experience brings the opportunity for a new beginning and direction in life.  We aren’t defined by the challenges themselves or if we make mistakes, we are defined by the changes we make as a result.

My recent challenges have finally levelled off and in the last couple of weeks I finally had the chance to exhale.  My renewed sense of awareness, focus and direction are creating a sense of peace that feels like I am in a state of relaxation all day long.  I don’t know if it is just that my mind and body have finally de-activated the “All Systems Alert” button or if the new beginning is the major cause but what I do know is that my new normal is feeling fabulous!

The Storm itself is meant to cause upheaval and depending on what your life lessons are and where you are on your path that upheaval could be either minor or major.  If you are too far off your destined path the major storm can be quite stressful but the storms themselves open up opportunity for growth and transition that you may not have reached without it and hopefully the wisdom you gain is used to your best advantage.  The storms should NEVER be wasted and what ALWAYS comes with them is the opportunity to change things to your liking, you always have a choice.

I’ve experienced both minor and major storms and “God willing” there aren’t many more of the major ones destined but honestly it feels like my latest one really cracked me open and as hard as it was to deal with I really like the end result.

Along with my new beginning came a greater appreciation for the parts of life I used to rush through, I used to get so stressed about making everything I had on my plate fit into my day whether it took up all of my “ME” time or not.  I crammed as much as I could in my day in order to whittle down my ever-growing “to do” list but I was depriving myself of a much needed decompress time at the end of the day and I’ve been doing this for many months, maybe even a year.  No wonder my new sense of peace and direction has me feeling like I’m in a state of relaxation all day long, it makes sense that unwinding from that much lack of self-preservation feels so cathartic.

There were so many benefits that I’ve been able to take away from all my experiences and digging for the deeper strength has been the hardest task but I definitely learned that no matter what if you have to go through something difficult, don’t do it alone!  Regardless of how strong you may think you are, vulnerability is the key to finding the new path.  It doesn’t mean you are weak, actually it is probably the moment you are most open because when you are vulnerable you don’t have the fight left to resist.  Resistance is what prevents you from embracing change and during the storms is the time when the most change is needed.

If you are currently in a storm in your life (minor or major), neither are easy, keep reminding yourself that it will eventually pass and when it’s done there are many gifts on the other side waiting for you.  Embrace them for all that they offer, stay open and mindful that you don’t resist.  You have more inner strength than you probably realize and when you dig the deepest the biggest rewards will follow.  The rewards may not look the way you had envisioned, they will likely be better and bring you a greater sense of peace, as they did with me.

adversity #2

 
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Posted by on October 15, 2013 in Blog

 

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