Monthly Archives: June 2015

Forgive & Appreciate Your Way Back to Happiness!

Letting Go for Your Own Freedom

Don’t tell me how many battles you’ve won, tell me how many people you’ve forgiven!

I’m not sure who wrote this quote but I read it recently and it resonated with me immediately. My first thought was “Yes, that’s it exactly!” and the next thought was to wonder how many people are afflicted daily by the emotional prison that they trap themselves in as a result of not being able to embrace forgiveness.

Of course this isn’t to say that your emotional hurt is invalid but rather that it’s not necessary or fair to your inner spirit to carry it around with you like the badge of horror it can be. When you are unable to cross the line into forgiveness it doesn’t affect anyone as much as it does you. I think many people have a variety of reasons for holding on to a painful memory and while I’m sure the reason is valid it doesn’t mean it’s not having a negative effect on your life. It doesn’t mean the person you hold it against is being impacted in any way whatsoever and it doesn’t mean that by holding onto it that eventually retribution will come.

Forgive: stop feeling angry or resentful toward (someone) for an offense, flaw or mistake 

Easier said than done, believe me I know! When someone hurts you deeply it’s not just the emotional pain of the hurt but the emotional attachment you have to the person that has hurt you.

People you don’t have any attachment to can’t hurt you so much because they lack that personal connection. Those closest to you know where your soft spots of vulnerability are and you know theirs but it is because of a mutual trust that neither of you intentionally try to use them against each other. It is when trust is broken that hurt happens and that hurt can carry you into the mode of defense which raises your guard. The only thing that lowers that guard is honest and open communication and the willingness for resolve but sometimes that’s not an available option. So what do you do with all these feelings of hurt when there is no option for closure on the horizon?

I’m sure everyone (including myself) has asked these questions “how could you do this to me?”, and “why don’t you care?”, “how can you just go on in your life like nothing about this mattered?” Most often there is some sort of falling out or ending and if it’s the latter then I don’t think it’s likely you’re going to find the answers you would like for closure and without closure how do you let go and move on?

dirty feet

I’ve found that distance from a difficult experience, a break or mental vacation from it can be a temporary enough solution to help you put some space between your hurt and your emotions so you can find the positives from it, there are always positives, you just have to want to see them. Sometimes it may be a while until you see the wisdom behind the experience but eventually that “aha” moment peaks when you least expect it but when most open to it.

If you aren’t able to have that space to heal I believe it just means that your healing will take a little longer. Dedication, understanding and compassion toward yourself for the extra time it may take is the kindness you need to extend to yourself until you get there.

Appreciate: recognize the full worth of, understand (a situation) fully, recognize the full implications of

Being able to step outside of an experience long enough to gain clarity is the best path to understanding the “true lesson” behind the experience.Appreciation even in the face of difficulty will build inner strength and character, it has to right? I mean what else could come from hurt, disappointment and mental anguish except to get back up, dust yourself off and become the stronger person you were meant to be? It’s been said that when you don’t learn from an experience it keeps coming back around until you do, so if you have to go through it then best to only have to go through it once. Step back and really examine so you can find what it is that you are to take with you and learn. Why put yourself through it more than you have to, your experiences are not meant to break you, they are meant to build you.

As hard as it is to foresee the road ahead it is only through having appreciation for all experiences (positive or negative) that you will begin to cultivate happiness. Start with the smaller successes and after a while you will see that those successes will multiply and begin to shape a brighter, happier and more positive future.

Happiness: the state of being happy

It doesn’t get any clearer than that and where are you at with your own happiness? Happiness isn’t just for other people who seem like they have it all together. Happiness is a state of being, a state that you can access at any time, a state that doesn’t discriminate or align with only the lucky ones.

If another has done you wrong, mistreated you, taken you for granted or overreacted badly, that is not on you, it is on them which doesn’t mean you are now excluded from the state of happiness. Your own happiness depends on how you turn things around, how you want to view the world and what kind of life you decide to live.just be happy

It’s your choice but I’d suggest to “Choose Happiness”.


Posted by on June 24, 2015 in Blog


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Something’s Gotta Give!

When You’ve Gone Too Far Down the Rabbit Hole

Ever get to the point where you feel so overwhelmed in every area of life that the only resolve seems to be that “something’s gotta give?”

Life gets busy and sometimes you’re so hectic that you dig yourself so far down the rabbit hole you can’t see which way is up or out.

This kind of stress puts a significant strain on every part of your mental, spiritual and physical health which can manifest in a variety of ways producing outcomes that can challenge the state of your mindset. I’ve had experiences that have been extremely challenging and at times have caused me moments of what felt like extreme anxiety, finding an effective way to cope can be difficult but very necessary.

There are many areas of life that can cause stress; work, money, health, family, etc., and even though these are all valid stress points in life they can take a greater toll when you push back against what is meant to be. I believe that everything we go through happens for a reason, whether difficult or not, they are all there to help you gain a greater understanding and connection to your life and everyone in it.

The duress of this emotional baggage when constantly compiled on the soul eventually must find a way out and be purged, whatever outlet that may be through. For me, I write and that seems to be a great form or therapy because purging emotional stress is usually done through some form of communication to simply “get things off your chest”. Writing or journaling can be an effective outlet especially if you do not have someone to talk things through with to help you release it.

Alternatively it may not be that you don’t have someone there to talk to but rather some things just don’t feel like they can be communicated and/or articulated, sometimes you just have to find your own process for letting things go, put your faith in a higher power so that you can free yourself from that which is holding you back.

dark place

Not everything difficult is there to bring you down, maybe sometimes to humble you a bit if your ego gets a little too inflated, but ultimately there is some form or wisdom attached and if you don’t embrace it you’re going to keep going through it until you finally do. I don’t believe that these lessons are meant to break you but rather break you open so not only are you vulnerable but there are no walls left to resist what you are meant to learn and grow towards.

I think everyone has the moments of feeling despair but those moments are only part of the process and not supposed to continue on forever. At some point if you aren’t transitioning toward the next phase it means you are resisting and I know that resisting feels like the natural response and for a while it serves its purpose by allowing you the armor that protects while you digest and adjust.

Once you reach the point of when you are no longer able to continue your resistance this is when the lesson breaks through, it is the emotional equivalent of “rock bottom for the soul” because there is finally nothing more standing in the way of the healing that is now able to come through. Following healing comes enlightenment, “aha” moments and a stronger feeling of connection to not only the universe but all the people in it.

The humbling aspect of lessons is that they teach you gratitude, appreciation, compassion and empathy for others, what is released is judgement, anger, entitlement and egotistical rule.

Sometimes I think you can see what phases of these kinds of processes (experiences) others are in because it’s almost like those that are at the most wound up are almost at the beginning and on the verge of being broken open and those that breathe love and lack of judgement are just coming through the end.

Whatever phase you may feel you are in during a dark or difficult experience know that the only way to get through is to let go of your resistance. Know that there is wisdom, clarity and peace of mind on the other side of the storm but only if you allow it to crash and bang when it needs to, take cover and when the light starts to come back know that you won’t be the same person that went in.

All things happen when they are meant to and how they are meant to, you will never miss something that is truly meant to be in your life it will always finds its way to you and in the right time.

same person from the storm

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Posted by on June 1, 2015 in Blog


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