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Choosing the Higher Ground

By Picking your Battles

I heard the phrase “picking your battles” years ago in relation to parenting and while you may have the best intention for wanting to guide your children towards their best life you can’t expect to bulldoze your way through without allowing their inner spirit to also have a voice.  In picking the battles that are the most important to you as well as allowing those that are the most important to your children it provides them with the understanding for the foundation of compromise through communication and balance in finding middle ground.

While I had initially become aware of this during my daughter’s younger years what I’ve realized is that this expression is not isolated to just parenting your child.  It transcends into all relationships and is an important reminder for us all when working through any kind of difficulty.

Sometimes the more empowering path you can take is to choose the higher ground even when you feel you are in the right.  Wayne Dyer referenced this quote by R.J. Palacio “When given the choice between being right or being kind, choose kind”.  We should always be choosing kind, it’s not just about taking the moral high ground but also about embracing a little humility and grace for others along the way.  Sensitivity towards others even if it isn’t reciprocated is emancipation for your soul, a feeling you soon won’t forget and likely something you will want to repeat.

Forgiveness is a powerful thing, first for yourself and then for others.  Holding onto anger, resentment or bitterness damages more within you than against that which you despise, condemn or blame.

What has your disappointment cost you?

I think the best way to evaluate this is to look at how present a past experience is in your daily life, does it in any way inhabit your thoughts, words, behaviour or actions?  Is it preventing you from moving forward?  Is it influencing how you feel about yourself negatively?  Do you feel exhausted and drained so much so that you know your best option is to just put the baggage down and walk freely ahead?

What is your peace worth?

Peace of mind is not something you can buy but the value of your peace should be priceless!  It is only through letting go of that which no longer serves you that you find your peace.  Peace is whatever you define it to be for you whether that is harmony of the soul, freedom from disturbance or tranquility of the mind.  It is whatever resonates within that allows you complete relief from the burdens that have run you down and threaten your happiness in life.

What’s in your heart?

Stillness speaks volumes!  It’s so important to hear and heed the whispers, listen to what has been placed on your heart and you will find your passion and purpose.  No matter what that is, no matter how possible or impossible it seems, follow it.  Everything in us has been placed there for a reason, reasons you may not know yet but are meant to lead you into your best life.  Don’t challenge what you feel, embrace it.

What does your soul tell you?

While it’s important to follow your heart, it’s also important to listen to your soul, your inner voice, your gut instinct.  When you allow your heart (your emotion) to be heard and connect it with your soul (your inner voice) you become the spirit warrior you were meant to and everything that once felt like obstacles begin to fall away.  You allow yourself to live passionately which aligns you with your life’s purpose.  Don’t let yourself to settle for anything less!

Letting go to forgive, to heal, to move forward is for others but mostly for you, it allows you to accept and release yourself from the outcome you wanted and expected to see.

Raise yourself up and stand on the higher ground, some battles aren’t worth the fight especially if you lose something of yourself in it.  Return your power to where it belongs, with you!

 
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Posted by on March 30, 2018 in Blog

 

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Forgive & Appreciate Your Way Back to Happiness!

Letting Go for Your Own Freedom

Don’t tell me how many battles you’ve won, tell me how many people you’ve forgiven!

I’m not sure who wrote this quote but I read it recently and it resonated with me immediately. My first thought was “Yes, that’s it exactly!” and the next thought was to wonder how many people are afflicted daily by the emotional prison that they trap themselves in as a result of not being able to embrace forgiveness.

Of course this isn’t to say that your emotional hurt is invalid but rather that it’s not necessary or fair to your inner spirit to carry it around with you like the badge of horror it can be. When you are unable to cross the line into forgiveness it doesn’t affect anyone as much as it does you. I think many people have a variety of reasons for holding on to a painful memory and while I’m sure the reason is valid it doesn’t mean it’s not having a negative effect on your life. It doesn’t mean the person you hold it against is being impacted in any way whatsoever and it doesn’t mean that by holding onto it that eventually retribution will come.

Forgive: stop feeling angry or resentful toward (someone) for an offense, flaw or mistake 

Easier said than done, believe me I know! When someone hurts you deeply it’s not just the emotional pain of the hurt but the emotional attachment you have to the person that has hurt you.

People you don’t have any attachment to can’t hurt you so much because they lack that personal connection. Those closest to you know where your soft spots of vulnerability are and you know theirs but it is because of a mutual trust that neither of you intentionally try to use them against each other. It is when trust is broken that hurt happens and that hurt can carry you into the mode of defense which raises your guard. The only thing that lowers that guard is honest and open communication and the willingness for resolve but sometimes that’s not an available option. So what do you do with all these feelings of hurt when there is no option for closure on the horizon?

I’m sure everyone (including myself) has asked these questions “how could you do this to me?”, and “why don’t you care?”, “how can you just go on in your life like nothing about this mattered?” Most often there is some sort of falling out or ending and if it’s the latter then I don’t think it’s likely you’re going to find the answers you would like for closure and without closure how do you let go and move on?

dirty feet

I’ve found that distance from a difficult experience, a break or mental vacation from it can be a temporary enough solution to help you put some space between your hurt and your emotions so you can find the positives from it, there are always positives, you just have to want to see them. Sometimes it may be a while until you see the wisdom behind the experience but eventually that “aha” moment peaks when you least expect it but when most open to it.

If you aren’t able to have that space to heal I believe it just means that your healing will take a little longer. Dedication, understanding and compassion toward yourself for the extra time it may take is the kindness you need to extend to yourself until you get there.

Appreciate: recognize the full worth of, understand (a situation) fully, recognize the full implications of

Being able to step outside of an experience long enough to gain clarity is the best path to understanding the “true lesson” behind the experience.Appreciation even in the face of difficulty will build inner strength and character, it has to right? I mean what else could come from hurt, disappointment and mental anguish except to get back up, dust yourself off and become the stronger person you were meant to be? It’s been said that when you don’t learn from an experience it keeps coming back around until you do, so if you have to go through it then best to only have to go through it once. Step back and really examine so you can find what it is that you are to take with you and learn. Why put yourself through it more than you have to, your experiences are not meant to break you, they are meant to build you.

As hard as it is to foresee the road ahead it is only through having appreciation for all experiences (positive or negative) that you will begin to cultivate happiness. Start with the smaller successes and after a while you will see that those successes will multiply and begin to shape a brighter, happier and more positive future.

Happiness: the state of being happy

It doesn’t get any clearer than that and where are you at with your own happiness? Happiness isn’t just for other people who seem like they have it all together. Happiness is a state of being, a state that you can access at any time, a state that doesn’t discriminate or align with only the lucky ones.

If another has done you wrong, mistreated you, taken you for granted or overreacted badly, that is not on you, it is on them which doesn’t mean you are now excluded from the state of happiness. Your own happiness depends on how you turn things around, how you want to view the world and what kind of life you decide to live.just be happy

It’s your choice but I’d suggest to “Choose Happiness”.

 
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Posted by on June 24, 2015 in Blog

 

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