Tag Archives: life’s lessons

Raising the Bar

Living through your Lessons with Joy

Your lessons shape you:

You are a product of the environment that you grow through, all your lessons build and shape who you are to become so they are definitely essential.  Even the more difficult experiences carry with them important elements of a plan that has not yet come to fruition.  No one knows their life plan and what things will look like ten, twenty or thirty years down the road.  Sure you may have ideas of what you want to see but how things actually turn out is really dependent upon how you play the hand you are dealt, how you process it internally and externally.

Your experiences and lessons are meant to challenge you to rise to the occasion and I guess the internal question to ponder is how are you doing with that?  Are you allowing the experiences to define you or are you daring to rise up stronger?  I can say with certainty that the lessons are not meant to tear you down to oblivion but instead to dismantle the elements you may have taken on that do no serve your spirit well, the elements you need to let go of or transform.  Not everything we carry with us emotionally is meant to continue past the experience except to be a point of reference (a signpost) for developing awareness.

My lessons have been challenging but not so challenging that I couldn’t recover or find a new path and that’s not because they weren’t very difficult but rather because I refuse to let any difficulty break me.  For sure they take time to go through and not every part of an experience is easy to step back from and be objective about but you need to be kind to yourself when you stumble.  It’s easy to chastise yourself for allowing something to go farther than it should have when you believe you should have known better and the inner dialogue that results can only damage your self-worth and self-esteem.  So the next time you are in the midst of a dilemma allow yourself a moment to step outside of that struggle, look at the experience as if you were providing an analysis or solution for a friend.  If it wasn’t your experience what would you advise a friend to do?  In that moment when you’ve stepped outside of it you’ve allowed yourself a little more objectivity and that can be very empowering in to finding resolution and/or a way to manage through to the end of the experience.

Fake it until you make it:

As difficult as some lessons feel keep telling yourself that you are loving them for the wisdom you know you are going to gain, embrace them even when they aren’t even remotely satisfying because without them you don’t get through to an ending, a closure.  Every experience can have a positive side effect come out of it you just have to want to find it.  It could be renewed strength, personal empowerment or an elevation of gratitude, many effects really.  What you are looking for to define the experience (positive or negative) is exactly what you will continue to find every time you relive it.  Your thoughts and how you perceive your experiences are entirely up to you, you can either lessen the damage or increase it, this is determined by the perspective you are encouraging.

When you talk about an experience you have the opportunity through your thoughts and words whether or not to let that experience be one that broke you or one that made you stronger, it’s your choice!  I say fake it until you make it, maybe at the beginning of that conversation it feels like it broke you but what you can relate to others is that it didn’t break you but made you stronger.  After a while of continuing to repeat those thoughts and words you begin to change the fabric of that story, you inevitably become stronger and while at the beginning you may have been faking it you are now making it true.

Stay present:

Not everything that happens to you occurs because of who you are, try not to take things too personally, I know at times that can be difficult but most often when you experience conflict it isn’t in direct relation to your lessons but maybe another’s, you may just be a part of their experience that is designed to awaken them.

It is a normal response to look for ways to escape the more difficult aspects in life, no one longs for difficulty or struggle but keep in mind it is a lot more taxing on the stress in your mind to resist the natural flow than to allow it.  As easy as letting go sounds in theory, it can be extremely difficult to actually begin that process, it starts with acceptance and brings immediate relief.  I think everyone at one time or another struggles with letting go, when I had the experience I hadn’t realized at that point how much effort it was taking from me to hold onto the resistance and how much relief I felt when I finally let things be.

Life’s ups and downs occur so you can develop boundaries, balance, happiness, clarity and direction.

Sometimes the necessity to find a way out when feeling overwhelmed can be the beginning of a new opportunity so it is important to stay present, eyes wide open.

It is important to me to learn from my past and look forward toward the future with hope while maintaining a strong presence in the now.

Connecting with others on a soul level is the most beautiful part of presence, don’t miss out pursue it passionately!

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Posted by on February 23, 2018 in Blog


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From Now to Zen

It’s A Love Thing!

Listening to your soul whisperings is a connection that is always there but isn’t always heard.  Life experiences can color and cloak how you interpret those signs and revelations.  I don’t think you have an idea of who you really are or what you really want and why until you shed these layers.  Your experiences are not meant to hold you back or limit your opportunities, they are meant to shape and prepare you for your greatness!

It isn’t until after one or possibly a few more heavy hearted experiences that you may start to wonder why your life is going in a direction you really don’t desire.  Why do you keep ending up in relationships or situations that aren’t bringing out the best in you and why doesn’t it feel right in your heart?

Soul searching, silencing your mind and embracing the stillness so you can hear and feel your soul is the only way to true meaning and fulfillment.  Once you begin to understand why and how you process your challenges you will find yourself thirsting to pursue this greater sense of clarity in all areas of your life and that will lead you to your true purpose.

When you know you know

This heightened awareness will come in at a time in your life when you are ready to move into a state of openness and willingness to look at where you’ve been to find a better path to where you’re going.  Suddenly things start to become very clear and past issues that once held you back no longer carry the weight they did.  The desire to let go of that which no longer serves you to embrace a more peaceful way of living comes to the forefront of your thoughts and you realize this is your crossroad.

Do I continue down this same path which isn’t really inspiring me with peace and happiness?

Or do I blaze a new trail?

These are your life changing moments and they propel you onto a new path, one that will allow you to get in touch with what really matters to you, which is really the most important question you can ask yourself.  I would bet that the answer your ego would give versus the answer your soul would have would be as different as night and day.  The ego wants you to feel fear and believe that you are unworthy, unlovable or cursed, that everything you hope or want for is unattainable and you don’t deserve it anyway.  The soul wants you to know you are worthy, loved endlessly and have insurmountable opportunities ahead to chart any path you desire.  When you are in alignment with your soul you will find your way to your true destiny, all the happiness you seek, the luxury of authentic/true connection with others and a sense of peace which all I can say is Zen!

True Meaning, hearing the voice within

What matters most?

What do you really want?

I think when you get to this place your thoughts are recharged and you begin to evaluate the things that matter most to you.  You gain a new perspective and recognition for certain pieces of your life that shouldn’t have carried on for so long which allows you to finally let them go.  You start to realize how much time you’ve wasted on experiences that shouldn’t have been giving so much of your power away.  This isn’t to say that what weighs on your heart, mind or soul doesn’t matter but rather how much does it matter for you to lose precious time over or hold yourself back from having new and more healthier experiences that truly connect with your heart.

True Fulfillment, honoring the voice within

What inspires me?

Is it too late?

Heeding the call and allowing your inner voice to be acknowledged knowing how vulnerable that may leave you is a little frightening but in a good way.  I think many view vulnerability as weakness but it is actually pure strength, it takes more strength to be vulnerable than it does to hide behind a false face.  Vulnerability, while scary at times is also quite exhilarating because there is nothing left to bare, one cannot strip you down any further once you are already fully exposed so it allows you to increase your strength from your core.

Do you see what I see?

That door closed, stop staring at it, turn around and see the open window!  Every ending has its sadness but it is also the beginning of something new, change is around the corner and if you spend too much time staring at that closed door you may miss noticing the window of opportunity that has opened just for you.  Far too often we spend too much time focusing on what we had, what we’ve lost, what we sacrificed, what could have been different, all good points but what are you going to do now to change your direction?  Your answers are connected to discovering what true meaning and true fulfillment mean for you, for me it means never giving up, never giving in and keeping my faith in all the things I have dreamed about.  I am not a Dreamer, I am a Visionary!

New Year, New Life

I had thought that 2017 was going to be “the year” and as I’ve come to realize I think it was “the year” but not for the reasons I had initially thought, it was restless and the struggle to move forward seemed like one step forward, two steps back at times but I am labeling it the “year of enlightenment” and 2018 will produce the changes and manifestations of that enlightenment in a very positive way!

Everyone has their own special gifts, opportunities and magical connections destined but this is only after you’ve done your work.  Sometimes when the opportunities come along you are in a funk and it’s just not going to happen and then when you feel you are ready the opportunity is no longer there.  Don’t worry you didn’t miss it what is meant for you will never pass you by, if something didn’t happen at a time when you expected or wanted it’s because it really was not meant for you.

Everything happens for a reason and everything comes to you at the exact right moment so do your work, be ready and keep dreaming!

From Now to Zen ,,,,,, it’s a Love Thing


Posted by on December 26, 2017 in Blog


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Change the Way You Look at Things

The Things you Look at Change!

I know I’ve written about this very topic before but sometimes reminders are necessary, especially for me. When you get too involved in an emotion you end up creating the outcome of least desire whether you realize it or not. Law of attraction says what you think about most is what grows, so even if it’s something you don’t want when you give it more of your energy you end up keeping it alive and feeding it which helps it continue to grow and be a daily part of your life.

I do this at times and even though I realize I am feeding the wrong emotion and desired outcome sometimes it’s hard to turn it off. When you have an issue that weighs on your mind I think it’s natural to think about it more than needed and sometimes overthink it which brings about more of what you don’t want.

Do you ever end up over-analyzing, over-thinking, over-obsessing about all the wrong things only to realize in the end that your worry seemed to magnify your issues more than anything else? Does all that you were worrying about ever manifest the way you envision it? Most of the time it ends up being useless worrying that has caused the extra stress, usually everything works out ok and the thing that was stressing you out the most was you.if-you-change-the-way-you-look-at-things-wayne-dyer

It’s so important for me and you (if you get stuck like this) to change the way you are looking at things because I can guarantee you every time I’ve done that it’s actually changed the way things are. Not for any other reason than the fact that I’ve removed the energy I’m giving to what I don’t want and putting it in the direction of what is better for me.

Get out of your own way by changing the way you are looking at things so that your life can start to fall into the places it’s meant to be. When you do this you will be amazed at how things change, it allows the things that were of such bother to you to drop in importance reducing what you don’t want and increasing the more positive aspects of your life so they can flourish as they are supposed to.

I know this sounds like it’s not really possible, especially if you have some huge issues going on but really when you take away the energy and time you put into the things you don’t want they start to diminish, maybe not immediately but over time (and I don’t mean years). In addition to the outward effect when you remove your energy from what you don’t want, you start to feel lighter and happier because not only was your energy feeding that negativity but it was draining you as well.

Freeing up the space of positive possibilities attracts more of the options you desire because as you move into a better space of thought you become more aligned with the Universe and your personal power and that is the energy you want to feed and grow.

It is only when you are in alignment with all things positive that your life will start to gravitate in the direction you desire. Learning to be aware of your thoughts and feelings so you can identify when you step onto the path of negative thinking will be a strong ally on your road of life and one you shouldn’t do without.

Always remember YOU are in control on what you think and what you feel, you can change both whenever you want simply by shifting what you are giving energy to with your focus. You can change anything aspect of your life you want simply by deciding to and at any moment. The questions you have to ask yourself are;

  • Are you willing to walk away from the darkness that hides your negative moments?


  • Are you ready to step into the light that catapults you to your positive life?

If you’ve truthfully, deep down in your soul answered yes to both than you’ve taken the first simple step, the decision. That’s usually the hardest part to address because while everyone wants to be happy, not all are ready to accept it without skepticism or questions.

It’s a charmed life, be open, ready and grateful to live it?

more life to live

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Posted by on September 30, 2015 in Blog


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Simply the Basics!

An Integral Part of Life

There were so many before us that passed forth great wisdom for the purpose of making the world a better place. Below is a poem that was recently given to me, I had not seen it before but so much of the content resonated so strongly that I wanted to share it. It’s a really good wake-up to the call of your higher self and the real importance of this life.

If – Poem by Rudyard Kipling (1865 – 1936)

If you can keep your head when all about you

Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,

If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,

But make allowance for their doubting too;

If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,

Or being lied about, don’t deal in lies,

Or being hated, don’t give way to hating,

And yet don’t look too good, nor talk too wise;

If you can dream – and not make dreams your master,

If you can think – and not make thoughts your aim;

If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster

And treat those two imposters just the same;

If you can bear to hear the truth you’ve spoken

Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,

Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,

And stoop and build’em up with worn-out tools; 

If you can make one heap of all your winnings

And risk it all on one turn of pitch-and-toss,

And lose, and start again at your beginnings

And never breathe a word about your loss;

If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew

To serve your turn long after they are gone,

And so hold on when there is nothing in you

Except the Will which says to them: “Hold on!”

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,

Or walk with kings – nor lose the common touch,

If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you,

If all men count with you, but none too much;

If you can fill the unforgiving minute

With sixty seconds’ worth of distance run,

Yours is the Earth and everything that’s in it,

And – which is more – you’ll be a Man, my son!

My take away from this poem is the value and importance of integrity, holding your head high in good times and in bad, keeping yourself from getting lost in the emotional aspects of life that are there to teach you your greatest and most difficult lessons. All the while remembering that which you came from and honoring your true self without giving in to fear. Trusting wisely but not loosely the value of all your relationships, specifically those that are properly balanced.

Nothing of great value or importance was created in a day, patience and hard work whether it takes longer than you’d like is always rewarded.

truth, honesty, integrity

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Posted by on July 22, 2015 in Blog


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Forgive & Appreciate Your Way Back to Happiness!

Letting Go for Your Own Freedom

Don’t tell me how many battles you’ve won, tell me how many people you’ve forgiven!

I’m not sure who wrote this quote but I read it recently and it resonated with me immediately. My first thought was “Yes, that’s it exactly!” and the next thought was to wonder how many people are afflicted daily by the emotional prison that they trap themselves in as a result of not being able to embrace forgiveness.

Of course this isn’t to say that your emotional hurt is invalid but rather that it’s not necessary or fair to your inner spirit to carry it around with you like the badge of horror it can be. When you are unable to cross the line into forgiveness it doesn’t affect anyone as much as it does you. I think many people have a variety of reasons for holding on to a painful memory and while I’m sure the reason is valid it doesn’t mean it’s not having a negative effect on your life. It doesn’t mean the person you hold it against is being impacted in any way whatsoever and it doesn’t mean that by holding onto it that eventually retribution will come.

Forgive: stop feeling angry or resentful toward (someone) for an offense, flaw or mistake 

Easier said than done, believe me I know! When someone hurts you deeply it’s not just the emotional pain of the hurt but the emotional attachment you have to the person that has hurt you.

People you don’t have any attachment to can’t hurt you so much because they lack that personal connection. Those closest to you know where your soft spots of vulnerability are and you know theirs but it is because of a mutual trust that neither of you intentionally try to use them against each other. It is when trust is broken that hurt happens and that hurt can carry you into the mode of defense which raises your guard. The only thing that lowers that guard is honest and open communication and the willingness for resolve but sometimes that’s not an available option. So what do you do with all these feelings of hurt when there is no option for closure on the horizon?

I’m sure everyone (including myself) has asked these questions “how could you do this to me?”, and “why don’t you care?”, “how can you just go on in your life like nothing about this mattered?” Most often there is some sort of falling out or ending and if it’s the latter then I don’t think it’s likely you’re going to find the answers you would like for closure and without closure how do you let go and move on?

dirty feet

I’ve found that distance from a difficult experience, a break or mental vacation from it can be a temporary enough solution to help you put some space between your hurt and your emotions so you can find the positives from it, there are always positives, you just have to want to see them. Sometimes it may be a while until you see the wisdom behind the experience but eventually that “aha” moment peaks when you least expect it but when most open to it.

If you aren’t able to have that space to heal I believe it just means that your healing will take a little longer. Dedication, understanding and compassion toward yourself for the extra time it may take is the kindness you need to extend to yourself until you get there.

Appreciate: recognize the full worth of, understand (a situation) fully, recognize the full implications of

Being able to step outside of an experience long enough to gain clarity is the best path to understanding the “true lesson” behind the experience.Appreciation even in the face of difficulty will build inner strength and character, it has to right? I mean what else could come from hurt, disappointment and mental anguish except to get back up, dust yourself off and become the stronger person you were meant to be? It’s been said that when you don’t learn from an experience it keeps coming back around until you do, so if you have to go through it then best to only have to go through it once. Step back and really examine so you can find what it is that you are to take with you and learn. Why put yourself through it more than you have to, your experiences are not meant to break you, they are meant to build you.

As hard as it is to foresee the road ahead it is only through having appreciation for all experiences (positive or negative) that you will begin to cultivate happiness. Start with the smaller successes and after a while you will see that those successes will multiply and begin to shape a brighter, happier and more positive future.

Happiness: the state of being happy

It doesn’t get any clearer than that and where are you at with your own happiness? Happiness isn’t just for other people who seem like they have it all together. Happiness is a state of being, a state that you can access at any time, a state that doesn’t discriminate or align with only the lucky ones.

If another has done you wrong, mistreated you, taken you for granted or overreacted badly, that is not on you, it is on them which doesn’t mean you are now excluded from the state of happiness. Your own happiness depends on how you turn things around, how you want to view the world and what kind of life you decide to live.just be happy

It’s your choice but I’d suggest to “Choose Happiness”.


Posted by on June 24, 2015 in Blog


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Something’s Gotta Give!

When You’ve Gone Too Far Down the Rabbit Hole

Ever get to the point where you feel so overwhelmed in every area of life that the only resolve seems to be that “something’s gotta give?”

Life gets busy and sometimes you’re so hectic that you dig yourself so far down the rabbit hole you can’t see which way is up or out.

This kind of stress puts a significant strain on every part of your mental, spiritual and physical health which can manifest in a variety of ways producing outcomes that can challenge the state of your mindset. I’ve had experiences that have been extremely challenging and at times have caused me moments of what felt like extreme anxiety, finding an effective way to cope can be difficult but very necessary.

There are many areas of life that can cause stress; work, money, health, family, etc., and even though these are all valid stress points in life they can take a greater toll when you push back against what is meant to be. I believe that everything we go through happens for a reason, whether difficult or not, they are all there to help you gain a greater understanding and connection to your life and everyone in it.

The duress of this emotional baggage when constantly compiled on the soul eventually must find a way out and be purged, whatever outlet that may be through. For me, I write and that seems to be a great form or therapy because purging emotional stress is usually done through some form of communication to simply “get things off your chest”. Writing or journaling can be an effective outlet especially if you do not have someone to talk things through with to help you release it.

Alternatively it may not be that you don’t have someone there to talk to but rather some things just don’t feel like they can be communicated and/or articulated, sometimes you just have to find your own process for letting things go, put your faith in a higher power so that you can free yourself from that which is holding you back.

dark place

Not everything difficult is there to bring you down, maybe sometimes to humble you a bit if your ego gets a little too inflated, but ultimately there is some form or wisdom attached and if you don’t embrace it you’re going to keep going through it until you finally do. I don’t believe that these lessons are meant to break you but rather break you open so not only are you vulnerable but there are no walls left to resist what you are meant to learn and grow towards.

I think everyone has the moments of feeling despair but those moments are only part of the process and not supposed to continue on forever. At some point if you aren’t transitioning toward the next phase it means you are resisting and I know that resisting feels like the natural response and for a while it serves its purpose by allowing you the armor that protects while you digest and adjust.

Once you reach the point of when you are no longer able to continue your resistance this is when the lesson breaks through, it is the emotional equivalent of “rock bottom for the soul” because there is finally nothing more standing in the way of the healing that is now able to come through. Following healing comes enlightenment, “aha” moments and a stronger feeling of connection to not only the universe but all the people in it.

The humbling aspect of lessons is that they teach you gratitude, appreciation, compassion and empathy for others, what is released is judgement, anger, entitlement and egotistical rule.

Sometimes I think you can see what phases of these kinds of processes (experiences) others are in because it’s almost like those that are at the most wound up are almost at the beginning and on the verge of being broken open and those that breathe love and lack of judgement are just coming through the end.

Whatever phase you may feel you are in during a dark or difficult experience know that the only way to get through is to let go of your resistance. Know that there is wisdom, clarity and peace of mind on the other side of the storm but only if you allow it to crash and bang when it needs to, take cover and when the light starts to come back know that you won’t be the same person that went in.

All things happen when they are meant to and how they are meant to, you will never miss something that is truly meant to be in your life it will always finds its way to you and in the right time.

same person from the storm

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Posted by on June 1, 2015 in Blog


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If You Build It, They Will Come

Believe It Can Happen!

One of the single most important aspects to manifesting your dreams is believing it will happen!

Whatever you seek in life is dependent upon your belief that it will actually happen and when you do fully believe you start living your life as if these things are already happening or on their way. Whether you realize it or not, this shift in your perspective and outlook makes room internally as well as externally and as a result you open the door to accept happiness and peace into your soul.

“If you build it, they will come”, speaking metaphorically of course, because it’s not just about that movie and building a baseball field, it applies to everything within your life and is exactly the state of belief and unwavering faith you need to embrace so the changes you wish to see can begin to manifest. You must be willing and open to change, you must be willing to do the work and make sacrifices, when the time is right the rewards will follow.


Sometimes though the rewards don’t turn out to be specifically what you expected and by that I don’t mean that you do the work and you there are no rewards; I mean that sometimes the work leads you to another path, one that has different challenges and/or roadblocks you might not have encountered otherwise and that changes the rewards. I believe that everything in life begins as part of the imagination and that inspires creativity, when you come up with an idea about something sometimes you have different thoughts along the way that change the original idea, that’s creativity! Creativity inspired can blossom into so many other areas that the possibilities become endless so when I say that sometimes the rewards change it is because the creativity that surrounds you is constantly moving.

Similarly you also are always moving, changing, adapting, creating, imagining, etc. When you operate in this state you are in alignment with the Universe as it is also moving, changing, adapting, creating, imagining, etc.

It makes sense that when you are operating within that alignment that YOUR possibilities become endless.

It’s the Law of Attraction, I’m sure you’ve noticed at certain times in your life when things just flow, like you’re “in the zone” and everything is working out beautifully. Alternatively there are also the times when everything seems to go wrong in a day and those are the days when you are not in alignment, you’re “out of the zone”. Most times you fall “out of the zone” is when you are resisting, likely one of life’s lessons, and believe me the more you resist the more you will have days like that.

I think sometimes resistance is the response to anything that is painful or challenging because it is much easier to look away from your pain or challenges than stare it down and deal with it. Understandably some difficulties take more from you than you want to allow but I’ve learned that when I face obstacles it builds me back stronger. I can honestly say that when it comes to life’s lessons there is no comparison to the strong sense of self you gain when you rise to the occasion.

Life’s lessons will open you to new understanding, perspective and outlook all of which will change who you are and how you view your world, these lessons are here to help you, not break you.

It isn’t until you are humbled by life’s lessons that you really develop the understanding of the bigger picture and of course that brings a whole other set of questions. The difference is that these questions become more about substance than material, more about internal than external and more about spirit than ego.

If You Build It, They Will Come!

love life, it will love you back

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Posted by on April 6, 2015 in Blog


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