Don’t Let an Emotional Hurt Define Your Life
Faith and reason sometimes aren’t enough to pull you out of the cage in your mind you’ve trapped yourself in from an emotional hurt even if you have the intellect of knowing better. The worst thing you can do for yourself is to bottle it up and not let it go. No matter how much you try to stuff it down, it’s going to continue to bubble back up to the surface until you dare to feel, process and let it go. Finding the root, the point of impact that has stunted your own progress and growth in life is the only way to truly find your peace.
Sometimes it’s easier to replace your hurt with anger because then you don’t have to feel the pain even though you probably still are. Unfortunately that won’t diminish it or make it go away, it will continue to grow until you find the courage to face it head on. When another person, whether it is friend, family or stranger causes you to feel bad about yourself it injures your confidence, self-esteem and self-worth. Your personal connection to that person will be dependent upon how deeply it will affect you.
Friends aren’t your blood relatives but can feel just as close, sometimes closer and I don’t think it matters how much you value their opinion but rather how much of your heart, trust and loyalty you’ve placed in their hands.
Family are your past, your present and your future, how much you evolve and blossom is dependent upon the love and support they offer. I’ve been lucky enough to have such strong love and support from family, even during the times when I was not receptive to it, you know like when you’re a teenager and think you know it all?
When your confidence, self-esteem or self-worth gets injured it changes you, it changes how you present yourself, how you connect and relate with others and how others perceive you. What I believe is the worst part is that the change in you as a result of the emotional injury prevents others from getting to know you authentically because you end up withdrawing, building walls and distancing yourself as a way of blocking such an injury again. New people in your life that could potentially become friends notice and feel that something is off which pops up as “red flags”, that something just isn’t right and depending on how interested or invested they are, they may just walk away. Who loses here? I would say both, chances are you aren’t happy if you’re not being your authentic self and that person doesn’t get to know the “real you”.
Unfortunately an emotional hurt can run deep and when not dealt with you may start projecting negativity towards others as a way of offsetting the hurt, which turns everyone away and if you hang onto it for too long it will start to manifest as more serious warnings in your health. Negativity is like a virus and at first it will be symptoms that doctors can’t find answers to because the only prescription for health is within you, you must face and embrace the pain.
I believe we are all seeking the same in life; love, acceptance, connection and compassionate familiarity. I base how I treat others on how I want to be treated and while everyone may not behave or react in that same way, it’s not a reflection of how they feel about me but rather how they feel about themselves. While that may not make things easier to take I think with time it makes things easier to understand.
Being present to the feelings of others enhances and strengthens your connection with them, it allows them to feel safe to be authentic and vulnerable. When you embark upon this kind of connection with someone, know that you’re in the presence of a kindred spirit.
Shelley Hallmark 