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Tag Archives: authenticity

You Must Be The Change You Wish To See!

All Gestures Matter

Change doesn’t happen to you, it happens for you.  When change occurs try to accept and embrace that it’s the catalyst to propel you in a different and better direction.  Having appreciation at that moment can be difficult but knowing within that everything works out as it’s meant to for the betterment of you and those around you is the silent blessing.  Sometimes certain changes push us into directions we ought to have found ourselves but are too preoccupied or unaware to see.  Taking your own form of a “time out” to become aware of the benefits behind your changes whether they are apparent at the time or not is a great way to ground and humble yourself.

Recognizing and having gratitude for the basics that you live with every day is a good way to keep yourself in check, it’s easy to forget and/or take for granted that they are in fact luxuries.  There are many people that can’t perform the basic tasks simply because they have limitations and most of them are grateful for what they can do, are you?  It starts with the little things, the little gestures, and this is no different, on the smaller scale if you want to see more people offering a moment of kindness to strangers, then start offering it to strangers yourself.  You must be the change you wish to see!

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It doesn’t matter what end of the scale you are on the concept is all the same and when you start paying attention to the smaller things and having appreciation for them, the bigger things change from wants and needs to “it would be great if it happened but I appreciate what I have” because your level of gratitude has been elevated.  As a result more of what is in alignment with your state of gratitude shows up in your life and while it may appear to feel like luck it’s actually just more of what you are starting to gravitate toward and embrace.

An attitude of gratitude tends to shift your perception which as a result changes your reality and the way you connect with those around you.  We are all universally connected to one another but don’t always realize it because there is so much else going on around us, in our lives and in the world.

It doesn’t matter what you call it (God, source, a higher power, the universe) the essence of that which connects us all to each other is very real, even though we don’t always sense and/or feel every other person’s emotions they are there and usually just under the surface.  I think we feel and notice more when something on a global scale or more intense level brings that sense of human emotion to the forefront.

Connecting with others is the true essence of authenticity because it binds you in such unspeakable ways you can’t even explain, you just feel it.  These are the golden connections and are as rare as they are pure, the ones where you almost don’t have to say anything but feel an abundance of love through the connection.  It touches your soul so deeply that you feel as one and not because you’ve blended together but because these unexpressed or guarded emotions which are rarely on open display are sitting just below the surface waiting for the right person to inspire them out.

The more I see these kinds of conversations and changes going on around me and in the world, the more I believe in the value and promise of positive change.

There is no shortage of inspiration for being the changes you wish to see, everyone inherently wants to connect with others, that’s what we are all here for, to make connection.  Things get skewed and foggy when presented with the opportunity at times and I think that’s because vulnerability, a large level of openness is required to make the real difference.  It is a scary step to take because of fear, fear of feeling too exposed, too open and too available for criticism.kiefer-sutherland-kiefer-sutherland-the-most-significant-piece-of

Real changes, real opportunities and real moments happen outside of your comfort zone, take a step out there and give it a try, you won’t regret it.

You must be the change you wish to see!

I think what is authentic about this statement I found quoted by Kiefer Sutherland is that I believe it applies to all aspects of life and not just acting which is what he is referencing.  My take from it is that when you “believe in the moment” it is when you are being your most authentic, with authenticity comes a sense of truth.  When you are being genuine with others it is felt, recognized and appreciated and as a result reciprocated.  When you trade the protective walls of personal security for authenticity you increase the opportunity for connection and I believe “being the change you wish to see”.

 
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Posted by on December 6, 2015 in Blog

 

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The Point of Impact!

Don’t Let an Emotional Hurt Define Your Life

Faith and reason sometimes aren’t enough to pull you out of the cage in your mind you’ve trapped yourself in from an emotional hurt even if you have the intellect of knowing better.  The worst thing you can do for yourself is to bottle it up and not let it go.  No matter how much you try to stuff it down, it’s going to continue to bubble back up to the surface until you dare to feel, process and let it go.  Finding the root, the point of impact that has stunted your own progress and growth in life is the only way to truly find your peace.I'm alright

Sometimes it’s easier to replace your hurt with anger because then you don’t have to feel the pain even though you probably still are.  Unfortunately that won’t diminish it or make it go away, it will continue to grow until you find the courage to face it head on.   When another person, whether it is friend, family or stranger causes you to feel bad about yourself it injures your confidence, self-esteem and self-worth.  Your personal connection to that person will be dependent upon how deeply it will affect you.

Friends aren’t your blood relatives but can feel just as close, sometimes closer and I don’t think it matters how much you value their opinion but rather how much of your heart, trust and loyalty you’ve placed in their hands.

Family are your past, your present and your future, how much you evolve and blossom is dependent upon the love and support they offer.  I’ve been lucky enough to have such strong love and support from family, even during the times when I was not receptive to it, you know like when you’re a teenager and think you know it all?

When your confidence, self-esteem or self-worth gets injured it changes you, it changes how you present yourself, how you connect and relate with others and how others perceive you.  What I believe is the worst part is that the change in you as a result of the emotional injury prevents others from getting to know you authentically because you end up withdrawing, building walls and distancing yourself as a way of blocking such an injury again.  New people in your life that could potentially become friends notice and feel that something is off which pops up as “red flags”, that something just isn’t right and depending on how interested or invested they are, they may just walk away.  Who loses here?  I would say both, chances are you aren’t happy if you’re not being your authentic self and that person doesn’t get to know the “real you”.

Unfortunately an emotional hurt can run deep and when not dealt with you may start projecting negativity towards others as a way of offsetting the hurt, which turns everyone away and if you hang onto it for too long it will start to manifest as more serious warnings in your health.  Negativity is like a virus and at first it will be symptoms that doctors can’t find answers to because the only prescription for health is within you, you must face and embrace the pain.

I believe we are all seeking the same in life; love, acceptance, connection and compassionate familiarity.  I base how I treat others on how I want to be treated and while everyone may not behave or react in that same way, it’s not a reflection of how they feel about me but rather how they feel about themselves.  While that may not make things easier to take I think with time it makes things easier to understand.

Being present to the feelings of others enhances and strengthens your connection with them, it allows them to feel safe to be authentic and vulnerable.  When you embark upon this kind of connection with someone, know that you’re in the presence of a kindred spirit.

important encounters

 
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Posted by on November 30, 2015 in Blog

 

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Step by Step

Connecting to Your True Presence of Power Within

Like every goal there are small steps along the way that help you get to the end result you envision and it is no different when you are seeking a more genuine presence of awareness within your life. I think a lot of times you can end up psyching yourself out of trying something because it seems too daunting to begin but when you break it down and go through it step by step, completion doesn’t seem so overwhelming.presence

Staying present in the moments of true stillness that are found within nature or authentic surroundings precede your most beneficial and genuine choices because they are the result of true presence.

One of the best practices you can do for yourself is to find moments of silence/stillness or meditation to connect with your inner presence of power. I’ve found that every time I have I find clarity of thought, troubles that seemed to have no solution suddenly become obvious. I think that following these moments of true connection the reason clarity becomes so abundant is because you have removed the barriers and obstacles that the EGO has used to plague your mind. The EGO has no path to your inner presence which is why a lot of times when you think something is all in your head, it is because the EGO has built it up there.

If you spend too much time with your thoughts in the past or in the future you deprive yourself of the present moments. There is no benefit to re-living experiences from the past, running the reel in your mind of conversations that you’re anticipating and how you plan to respond. I think we’ve all done this, I know I have and when I give precious time away to something negative that could have been better served in any other way I get disappointed for letting myself go there because I know better.

Eckhart Tolle reiterated, during a show with Oprah Winfrey, wisdom from a Zen Master:

“A man’s need to win drains his power in the present”

Really understanding this can be very powerful, when you are focused on only the end result and don’t give your full attention to all the steps needed to get there then it is very likely you won’t realize the end you wish to see. I always find relation to the athletic side of me as I participated in a lot of team sports and I believe it applies to single player sports as well because the mindset is the same. When you are totally “in the moment” in sports you are “in the zone” and that kind of alignment is at one with your inner spirit and giving 100% to that moment. The end result is inevitable because when you commit all that is within you (your presence, your awareness, your power) there is no possible room for anything other than the end result you wish to see. You have thought about the end result but you are not staying there, you’ve seen it but now you are “in the moment”.

This applies with everything you do whether it is work or play related, when you are in the moment you are at one with your true presence of inner power, anything becomes possible!

It is only the EGO that keeps you in a space of discontent when you allow it with either thoughts of past disappointments or future anticipation of negative experiences. This is an active part of humanity that can interfere with your hopes and dreams and when you allow that disruption, it is not because you are weak but because you are not fully connected with your inner presence of power.

If allowed your EGO will wreak havoc with your life, it can either consume and/or control your behaviour or attitude. The EGO controls you by creating fear and insecurity, you must fight it! The EGO does not have your best interests in mind but rather its own and it can only be humbled by you. When you feel inner conflict, like something is off but you can’t quite put your finger on it, know that it is your ego struggling with your inner spirit for control.

Know that you are in control, you have the strength to do anything you want, all you need to do is connect with your inner presence of power and the world will be your oyster!

powerful

 
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Posted by on December 8, 2014 in Blog

 

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Living Life?

Or just Existing?

It’s really about experiences and doing things!

Your purpose and calling is bigger than your presence.  It’s the journey and where it takes you and I believe all the journeys are there to teach us some form of Love, whether it is through compassion, empathy, authenticity, generosity, faith, intention, hope, gratitude or appreciation they all bring with them a greater awareness.  All of these states of being stem from Love and if you embrace your journey the limits of where you can go are boundless! 

Who are you trying to become?  Are you trying to be a good person?  At the end of the day we need to be ok at our inner core with what we’re doing.

Are you being authentic with yourself and others?  Are your motives genuine or selfish?  I think it’s important to stay within those guidelines to be aligned with your inner core or else you will feel inner conflict which isn’t always recognizable, it may just feel like something doesn’t feel right.

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Your self-worth and personal value are enhanced when you connect to your inner core because it’s not your outside appearance that projects your beauty and that projection causes others to naturally be drawn to you.  Learn to recognize that rejection may not be a bad thing because it helps you to keep your expectations in check.  I believe also that it means there is something better coming around the corner and you need to be open to receive.  Rejection creates an opening of vulnerability and when you are vulnerable is when positive change has the opportunity to occur.

Unleash your imagination, let it flow through all your senses and it will help you to find your purpose.  In talking with others, there seems to be an overall sensing or knowing that there is something different that you should be doing.  I felt like there was an energy that was swirling just outside the zone waiting for the perfect moment to come rushing in.

When you finally understand that whispering you will find your voice and your priorities become so clear and the moment you shine a little light, it starts to grow.  Don’t be defined by anything other than your own authenticity and capacity for breathing your love of life into yourself and those around you.

Surprisingly, even though I constantly talk about having a plan, mostly all of mine have failed but those failures and my ability to adapt have allowed me to fall into better spaces each time, places I wouldn’t have thought to look or have interest in.  Having a plan is more for distraction because it helps you to direct your focus and energy on the steps and while you’re doing those steps you will likely discover something wonderful in between and the plan keeps you open to receive.  One thing for sure is that even though a plan has failed, at least I tried it and learned it wasn’t right for me and now I won’t have regret.

I think when it gets to that certain point in your life when you are looking for something to fill your passion, something to inspire your soul, you sometimes find yourself with regrets and sometimes those regrets are for the chances you didn’t take because of some form of vulnerability that prevented it.

It’s who you become by being truthful, authentic and generous with yourself and others.  When you don’t do something you know is right you end up living with regret and it will haunt you.

Sometimes the bravest thing to do is to embrace honesty so you don’t allow yourself to be held back from something that could have changed your life.

existing-or-living

 
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Posted by on December 11, 2013 in Blog

 

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Every Chapter of Your Life

Brings in More Depth

I’ve noticed that the “meaning of life” has become deeper and more meaningful as time goes on.  This is something I had never anticipated when I was a teenager because my experiences then didn’t carry the wisdom I gained later in my adult years.  As a teenager or young adult I didn’t realize the depth that life would eventually bring because I was preoccupied with trying to find my place in the world, looking for my independence.  That period of my life gave me the freedom to learn and discover how to find my way, and the struggles that I encountered along the way helped to build my determination to succeed in attaining the life I had envisioned.  Actually that vision hasn’t changed much, yes there are a few improvements to the plan and the only reason it took me so long to reach my desired goal is because I got distracted trying to help others build their dreams.

dhirubhai ambani quotes

In the case of the above quote I wasn’t hired, my natural instinct is to help especially if I see someone struggling and I think there’s something I can do to assist.  The downfall is that as much as you may want to help someone where you can, you may be doing them more harm than good because how can they build their own determination if you are doing all their work.

I’ve learned many life lessons so far that have definitely challenged me and I’ve discovered that there is so much more to the relationships we form with others than just what we see on the surface.  I’ve found that my favorite relationships are those that are truly authentic and authenticity is not something that can be fabricated.  These are the relationships I aspire to and those that were false have been unable to sustain any challenges and have fallen away and/or ended.

Not all endings are sad, some endings are closure to a challenging time, some endings signify personal victory and some endings reinforce your faith in direction of life.  Like “Semisonic’s” lyrics say, “every new beginning comes from some other beginnings end”.  Endings must occur in order to create room for the new beginning and that new beginning is an unopened present from the universe, full of opportunities and choices that are yours to embrace.  Every opportunity can branch out into so many other areas and most of us either don’t attempt to explore them or don’t notice they are there because we too busy looking back at the last ending.  Everything happens for a reason, everything begins for a reason and everything ends for a reason.  The learning offered with every new beginning can literally change your life and it’s usually for the better.  There are so many beautiful things out there for us to learn and to remain open is the best way to enjoy all that life has to offer.

If you are feeling like life owes you than you are doing more to deprive yourself of the enjoyment of it than any one person or group could.  Pay attention to the gifts that you have already been given and are living, you may be taking more for granted than you realize.  Living in gratitude for the basics is the best way to increase your appreciation for the bigger moments.  When you are grateful for the smaller gifts in life it makes the bigger gifts that much more spectacular and meaningful.

I’ve found that other people’s ideas of who I should be don’t have value for me anymore and what matters most is how comfortable and content I am in my own skin.  With that comfort and content comes the confidence that allows me to embrace the depth that life has been offering, the depth that provides me with greater clarity and direction.  There is no pretense to who I think I should be or who I think others think I should be, my comfort with who I am allows me the freedom to explore and determine the types of relationship I seek and those relationships are the ones with true connection and meaning.  True connection can be found in the moments when nothing monumental is happening but you feel drawn and connected to another soul for an inexplicable reason except that it feels natural, comfortable and familiar.  There are some connections I’ve encountered that I don’t know why I feel the instant connection and I think that’s because sometimes our souls recognize that familiar soul before our minds or hearts do.

One of the changes I’ve discovered in myself over the last 10 years is that the people that I truly connect with are not those who I used to and those that I used to I never really knew.  It’s not that I was closed off before it was that I hadn’t truly been opened up, it takes experiences to bring wisdom.  Monumental and life changing experiences can propel us onto a path that we never realized existed and into the lives of those we never really noticed were there.  The people I’ve noticed now are truly authentic and have more depth than I ever realized I would see or feel.

I believe the path that our experiences propel us onto is where the universe has always meant for us to go and the people we encounter on that path are there for a reason.  Some of them are meant to stay and some are meant to leave but all are meant to help us get to where we are meant to be.  I don’t believe in coincidences, everything happens for a reason, and all reasons eventually become clear when the time is right.  There are some reasons still left to evolve in my life and I look forward to the clarity when it comes because so far I haven’t been disappointed.  All of my life lessons have brought me greater awareness and insight and with each of these lessons I develop a greater appreciation for the things I took for granted.  I think we all forget at one time or another and take the simplest thing for granted, not because we are unappreciative but because life is busy and hectic and it’s the pace that keeps us from stopping and taking it all in for what it really is, a gift.

I know that my comfort and contentment with where I am in life right now will only increase as time goes on and as much as I don’t want to rush the future I look forward to the gifts, blessings and insight that are to come.  As much as I know this chapter has brought depth, the remaining chapters in life will bring even more clarity and substance.

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Posted by on October 8, 2013 in Blog

 

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