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Tag Archives: acceptance

What Are You Talking About?

Your Thoughts and Energy are a Package Deal

Have you ever noticed that what you consistently think and/or talk about is what keeps showing up in your life?  Chances are it’s the negative aspect that you probably notice the most because it’s what you don’t want.  Positive occurrences are most times thought of as luck and not the manifestation of your thoughts, even when they are positive.

Depending upon which energetic field your thoughts and conversations fall under (positive or negative), you can expect it will all become a self-actualizing prophecy for you because your thoughts and energy are a package deal.  What you think and talk about is what you will create, so be very wary of which energy you are feeding.

I think we all notice the result of negative thinking more because it’s an aggravation to have it show up in your life, so you stress about it, talk with others about how bothered you are by it.

Pay attention dear one, you are now feeding it!

I think everyone has had the bad day, the bad week, the bad month, hopefully not so much the bad year but all of this is the creation of your thoughts.  It’s hard to change the process around from talking about the things that you don’t want especially when they are upsetting to you.  It’s a natural thing to want to discuss, deal and discard the things that have either hurt or hindered you from moving in the direction you want to see yourself going.

By becoming aware of how those thoughts and conversations are influencing what you see develop day after day in your life you will understand how important it is to curb anything negative.  No matter how hard it is at the beginning to change that habit, that addiction to processing, the changes you see develop as a result will be inspiration enough to continue on.  Day by day it becomes easier to let those irritations not weave their way back in and you will see a new habit evolve, a healthier way of life that leads you to the things you want and the things that are meant for you.

Are you seeing the light?  That’s really what it’s like, the positive aspects of life bring a lightness to your life because you are allowing the weight, the heaviness of the negativity to be lifted from you and in reality all you’ve done is allowed your soul its freedom.  The soul, your inner spirit seeks purpose, connection, and an environment that inspires and cultivates your higher calling.  Imagine a place where all things are possible, this is it!

Why do we not embrace it?  Simply because it is the ego that keeps you immersed in a negative, fear based state, all for the sake of controlling you from believing that you can access this place, this state, this happiness.

ego-soul

I’ve always heard that comparison and it had been difficult for me to recognize/differenciate the two (ego & spirit), I didn’t feel like there was any power struggle actually going on, at least nothing that I could easily identify.  When the ego is trying to control though I’ve learned to recognize how it affects me physically and emotionally which shows up like stress, anxiety, a general feeling of disarray in my thoughts which is ultimately resistance between the two opposing sides.

I think how it presents itself is different in everyone.  We are all unique so it makes sense that it’s not a one-size-fits-all kind of answer or solution, it’s just a matter of raising your own awareness.  It’s not like being able to see the difference between colors of black and white but that is how opposing these two really are.

Ego (the brain) wants to rule because it knows, it knows better, it knows all and who’s going to argue, it’s gotten you this far hasn’t it?  Egotistical tells you how great you are, how much you deserve and where you should be.

Spirit (the soul) doesn’t want to rule anything, it wants to give you free will, to choose what your heart desires, to choose what nourishes and feeds your inner glory.  That’s it.

My four steps to counteracting my ego when I notice physical or emotional changes in my thoughts and energy are awareness, choice, acceptance and faith.

Awareness:  Learn to recognize how your external world affects your internal thoughts and energy, what triggers the negative and what cultivates the positive.

Choice:  You always have a choice!  The reasons you choose to tell yourself as to why you can’t do or change something is always prompted by the ego.  Choose to shut it out.  Choose to find greater understanding and awareness, it will show up because once you’ve made that choice you are now open to those answers.

Acceptance:  It’s not always easy to accept the things you cannot change but accepting that you don’t know everything all the time, that maybe some things you’re not supposed to change, sometimes you’re supposed to adapt.  Maybe the Universe has a different plan!

Faith:  When you fall into a dark place sometimes it’s hard to have faith, this is where I think acceptance is linked.  Everything happens for a reason, even things you don’t understand, the bad things too and how could there possibly be a reason for them?  The understanding comes later, sometimes years later but I think it occurs when you’ve made that shift, embraced that which you don’t understand but made it through the storm anyway.

These “Lessons of the Tao” which I became aware of, with great thanks to Dr. Wayne Dyer (1941-2015), help to keep things in perspective for me;

  • Change your thoughts and your life will change
  • There is no way to happiness, happiness is the way
  • You accomplish much by trying less
  • Trust in others to know what’s best for themselves
  • Live without attachment and be generous
  • When you have a choice to be right or to be kind, always pick kind
  • Rather than looking for miracles, see everything as a miracle in your life

the-best-teachers

 
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Posted by on September 21, 2016 in Blog

 

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The Point of Impact!

Don’t Let an Emotional Hurt Define Your Life

Faith and reason sometimes aren’t enough to pull you out of the cage in your mind you’ve trapped yourself in from an emotional hurt even if you have the intellect of knowing better.  The worst thing you can do for yourself is to bottle it up and not let it go.  No matter how much you try to stuff it down, it’s going to continue to bubble back up to the surface until you dare to feel, process and let it go.  Finding the root, the point of impact that has stunted your own progress and growth in life is the only way to truly find your peace.I'm alright

Sometimes it’s easier to replace your hurt with anger because then you don’t have to feel the pain even though you probably still are.  Unfortunately that won’t diminish it or make it go away, it will continue to grow until you find the courage to face it head on.   When another person, whether it is friend, family or stranger causes you to feel bad about yourself it injures your confidence, self-esteem and self-worth.  Your personal connection to that person will be dependent upon how deeply it will affect you.

Friends aren’t your blood relatives but can feel just as close, sometimes closer and I don’t think it matters how much you value their opinion but rather how much of your heart, trust and loyalty you’ve placed in their hands.

Family are your past, your present and your future, how much you evolve and blossom is dependent upon the love and support they offer.  I’ve been lucky enough to have such strong love and support from family, even during the times when I was not receptive to it, you know like when you’re a teenager and think you know it all?

When your confidence, self-esteem or self-worth gets injured it changes you, it changes how you present yourself, how you connect and relate with others and how others perceive you.  What I believe is the worst part is that the change in you as a result of the emotional injury prevents others from getting to know you authentically because you end up withdrawing, building walls and distancing yourself as a way of blocking such an injury again.  New people in your life that could potentially become friends notice and feel that something is off which pops up as “red flags”, that something just isn’t right and depending on how interested or invested they are, they may just walk away.  Who loses here?  I would say both, chances are you aren’t happy if you’re not being your authentic self and that person doesn’t get to know the “real you”.

Unfortunately an emotional hurt can run deep and when not dealt with you may start projecting negativity towards others as a way of offsetting the hurt, which turns everyone away and if you hang onto it for too long it will start to manifest as more serious warnings in your health.  Negativity is like a virus and at first it will be symptoms that doctors can’t find answers to because the only prescription for health is within you, you must face and embrace the pain.

I believe we are all seeking the same in life; love, acceptance, connection and compassionate familiarity.  I base how I treat others on how I want to be treated and while everyone may not behave or react in that same way, it’s not a reflection of how they feel about me but rather how they feel about themselves.  While that may not make things easier to take I think with time it makes things easier to understand.

Being present to the feelings of others enhances and strengthens your connection with them, it allows them to feel safe to be authentic and vulnerable.  When you embark upon this kind of connection with someone, know that you’re in the presence of a kindred spirit.

important encounters

 
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Posted by on November 30, 2015 in Blog

 

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What do you REALLY think?

How do you REALLY feel?

I think these are the most important questions to ask yourself and of course the answers are just as important. If something doesn’t FEEL right then it probably isn’t the best choice for you.

Pay attention to what your gut tells you and heed its warnings always! Believe me that’s advice I didn’t always take myself, there are so many choices I’ve made that have gone against what my better judgement was telling me but unfortunately I wasn’t always good at listening and this is something I’ve worked hard at to change.

Your inner spirit, higher self, however you want to refer to it, knows the best path for you and when you continually make choices that go against how you REALLY think and feel that voice, that light, gets dimmed. Strangest thing is you know inside when you are doing it and a lot of times the reason for compromising is for the sake of others and how they think or feel and honestly I don’t know if others really understand how much of yourself you are damaging with these kinds of compromises.moving forward

Standing your ground for what you REALLY think or feel is important not just for yourself but for the purpose of creating solid boundaries to protect the beautiful spirit that is YOU so that others know you value yourself. You teach others how to treat you by modelling how you treat yourself and if you continually compromise and walk all over yourself than others will too.

Expressing yourself isn’t supposed to be something that is shunned but rather celebrated because you like everyone else deserve to be celebrated, each of us in our own way. Difference isn’t weird or awkward, it is unique and individual. As much as I enjoy participating in group efforts I still like to create and celebrate my own uniqueness by putting my personal stamp on things I do or create. Not for any other reason except to celebrate my own individuality and uniqueness that is totally me. I don’t want to be a clone of anyone else and I wouldn’t want anyone else to feel like they needed to be exactly like me or someone else because each one of us has a QUALITY that is their unique personalization.

Too often I think compromise happens as a result of feeling like the responsibility falls on your shoulders to make the compromise out of duty or inferiority or because somewhere along the line you’ve developed or been told you are inferior, YOU ARE NOT!

It is time to take back your power! Standing your ground does not mean you are an awful person, it means you respect and love yourself enough to say “that doesn’t work for me that way”. Make the effort to find another way that suits your THOUGHTS and FEELINGS better, because those thoughts and feelings affect your inner spirit, probably more than you realize.

If another is offended by your lack of compromise, that is a good indication of that individual’s intention, which in my opinion is not in your best interest. Anyone who has yours and their best interests in mind is going to be willing to find an alternative that works for both of you, which speaks volumes of their respect for themselves and for you.

How do you take back your power if you’ve been giving it away for so long? I wish I had a simple, quick fix answer for this but it requires personal reflective work. Looking back, finding where you let go/gave away your personal power and determining how that change manifested in your life.

Finding where things changed is the start, after that it’s finding out why it changed, what changed in you that let this happen and how do you get back into your power?

When you approach these questions you are already half way there because acknowledgement and acceptance are the first steps. Finding out where the disconnect was that caused this change and repairing that will help guide your power back to you. Learning what the triggers are that cause you to disconnect and compromise yourself is the key to never losing your power again.

Most of the issues that cause changes like these are connected to your emotions and while emotions are not easily controlled they can be managed. Understanding how your emotions react and learning to recognize your triggers will be your best asset for that management so you don’t lose or give away your personal power to others ever again.

Once you’ve identified all of these aspects, the healing begins and your power returns.

If at any time you feel like your power is slipping, check in with yourself, go to friends or family who can help boost your energetic levels back to where they should be.

Always remember that you deserve to be happy, anyone that tries to dispel that doesn’t necessarily need to be a part of your life. Those that have your best intentions in mind will always promote your higher self and inspire you to go toward what makes you happy while walking alongside you.

Letting go of people or things that no longer have a positive place in your life is your way of saying “I am doing what I need to do to make my life positive and fulfilling”.

Only YOU can make that change and if you are feeling less than inspired I believe it’s a change YOU need to make.

making space

 
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Posted by on July 29, 2015 in Blog

 

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When Enough is Enough!

Know When to Live and Let Live

Compassion and empathy are not overrated but there is only so much you can do for someone and where the direction of their life goes depends solely on them even, it’s called “free will” and it’s everyone’s right to choose.

It’s noble to want to help another but sometimes is more noble to allow someone the same freedom that you have to make your own decisions and to ask for assistance if they want it.  I think we have all, at one time or another, felt that we knew what was better for someone we care about so much so that we take the task to heart of trying to show them the way or help out.  The truth is though that “the way” is really up to them and if you find yourself in this situation, like I have many times, the best solution is to step back and let them live their own life.  It’s not easy, believe me I know, especially when your empathy compass is going overboard taking on their feelings of either helplessness or despair.

let go

If you are strongly predisposed to helping others you may find that even if you are successful you could be draining yourself.  Your emotional well-being could be depleted causing the other components of your well-being to become unbalanced and when you become unbalanced you are of no assistance to anyone.

I know the almost euphoric feeling of making someone feel better, it is truly inspiring but keep in mind the feeling that also follows when you accomplish something you didn’t think you could do.  As much as you want to help someone you are denying them that sense of accomplishment of overcoming a challenge they didn’t think they could, I think that feeling is even more monumental and of course will affect them much more deeply.

I don’t mind constructive criticism, I always like to hear different thought processes and to have the opportunity to invite new ways of thinking into my awareness but I know that I don’t like being told what to do and that could be the resistance you may experience when you try to over-assist in someone else’s life.  Sometimes we don’t necessarily look for someone else to run our lives or assist and it’s just a matter of being the sounding board that they have to vent to without judgement.  Not everything requires action on my part and learning to recognize when I’m trying to show someone “the way” is an evolving lesson for me that I don’t think I’ve quite nailed down yet.  Work in progress, I can accept that.out of your control

I think the biggest lesson for me is learning to step back and know when to live and let live.  If someone needs my help I have to allow them the opportunity to ask, if I offer it and they don’t accept, I have to learn to accept that.  Not everything is meant to be changed, everyone has their own lessons, who am I to challenge what the universe has set out for each of us.  I can continue to have compassion and empathy for others but when it starts to affect my life in a negative way that is an indication for me to recognize that it is their journey not mine.

There are many reasons why certain lives go a certain direction and why some people choose not to change it and I’ve learned that even though I think I know best, I really don’t.

Like Kenny Rogers says, you’ve got to know when to hold them, know when to fold them, know when to walk away, know when to run.

It’s a good theory for me to pay attention to, to remember and to live by.  As much as I may want to see everyone living what I think is a joyful, happy and enriched life, it doesn’t mean that I know what that is for everyone.  There isn’t a “one size fits all” when it comes to a blessed life.

I was watching the “Anderson” daytime talk show one day and there was two young women as guests that had had very difficult challenges in their lives from an early age and they had the wisdom to recognize that even though their challenges were hard there were others that had had it worse.  Both of them had been through much counselling and therapy and in one of their group therapy sessions the therapist had had them, with the group, create a circle and put their problems (discuss them) in the center and said that at the end they would probably all be quite happy to pick their own back up and walk away with it and they had said they agreed.  They would much rather walk away with their own issues than pick up another’s, sometimes as terrible as we think our problems are they are familiar and we know how to live in them.

I think everyone, no matter what their age, can teach us something and the best thing we can do sometimes is to just listen, sometimes that is of more help than you realize.  Not everything requires a grand scale of assistance, sometimes simplicity is much more helpful.

committment to shift

 
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Posted by on July 3, 2013 in Blog

 

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Take Control of Your Power!

Your Strength Lies Within

Everyone has the potential to be great and what you feed into (positive or negative) weighs heavily on what the outcome may be.  When you don’t reach that greatness it doesn’t mean you don’t deserve it or it’s not part of your destiny.  It could be that you are feeding into the possibility that “you can’t” succeed rather than “you can” and that mindset is something we can build ourselves through fear and insecurity.  Fear can seem overwhelming because in our minds we’ve built it up that big, but we have the ability within us to change that obstacle from a mountain to a mole hill, it’s all perception.

believe in yourself

“A change of feeling is a change of destiny”  –  Neville

I believe that a large part of “taking control of your power” is found within being vulnerable, even though that vulnerability feels scary, it’s ultimately empowering.  The reason it’s empowering is because it takes a great deal of courage to embrace vulnerability and allow the chips to fall where they may.  Being vulnerable helps you discover that you innately have a reserve of strength to draw from that you didn’t know was there and that experience is not only empowering but also humbling.  We don’t always give ourselves the credit we deserve when it comes to our own personal power.  It’s hard enough when another person is discouraging by not believing in you but when you also do not believe in yourself you begin to limit your life opportunities and options and that’s just not right.

My personal inner voice and reaction to anything fear based and negative is that “I am not going to let it conquer or defeat me”, I will persevere, backing out is not an option!

My positive mind says “No Way is fear going to be allowed to win.  Turn around and go back where you came from, you have no business here!”

Negative thoughts like fear or failure don’t stand a chance when you affirm with yourself and the universe that you’re strong and you’re not giving up.  Things only occur because we acknowledge their presence in our existence, everything start with a thought.  Don’t think negatively and negative things will not occur.

By following Neville’s Law of Assumption you can increase your success in any or all areas of your life that you want to improve:

“If this assumption is persisted in until it becomes your dominant feeling, the attainment of your ideal is inevitable”

greatness within

Once you’ve accepted yourself for who you are, others will also accept you for who you are.  When you begin to accept and believe in yourself you won’t put as much emphasis on needing to feel accepted by others and that ease of contentment and peace is a quality that others will gravitate toward and relate to.

I always love hearing a good line from a movie and my most recent that I want to share with you is one that I thought was very inspiring and something we should all aspire to, it’s similar to my own thoughts about having faith in humanity.  The more people believe in others, the more others will rise to the occasion.

“I like to think that if you put your trust out there, I mean if you really give people the benefit of the doubt, see their best intentions that they’re going to want to live up to it.  It doesn’t always work out but more often than not I think that if you do, people will rise to the occasion.  I really do believe that!”

 
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Posted by on May 15, 2013 in Blog

 

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Change is Inevitable!

Let Go and Embrace It

Sometimes when we are forced into actions it’s because we should have found the way ourselves, sometimes when change occurs it’s because it’s long overdue, and sometimes we make the transition effortlessly.  Whichever way it happens is something that will be specific to each of us as individuals but the circumstances surrounding any change will be determined by either your resistance or acceptance.  I have travelled both paths at different times in my life and I can definitely say that acceptance is the easier of the two.  Resistance has always brought me disappointment, hurt, frustration and overall a heavy dose of unnecessary stress.  For some individuals change can be very challenging for reasons other than just resisting or accepting. 

change

There are many reasons why we resist:

–          We think we know better

–          It’s unknown and we feel vulnerable and/or a little scared

–          Others are advising us to go that route

Of course the ego always thinks it knows better and it’s easy for you to convince yourself that you do know better, that ego is connected to you.  I’m not saying you have no idea what’s going on, I’m just saying that every time I’ve allowed my ego to run the show it hasn’t been a good idea because as much as the ego may think it knows better, ultimately it doesn’t.  The ego isn’t tapped into the same frequency as the universal mind so it can’t possibly know everything.

When things are unknown they can leave you feeling vulnerable and a little scared of what’s to come as well as hesitant to take that step forward.  When I’ve had this feeling it’s been because I was on the verge of experiencing a major change and positive growth that I couldn’t have possibly foreseen.  Every time so far it has been a positive step forward for me so I’ve learned to recognize when that moment comes around that I definitely want to go in that direction, experience has taught me that.

I don’t mind constructive criticism, it helps me to learn and grow as an individual but I don’t usually welcome being told what to do.  Somewhere in my psyche I find that in those times I become resistant because I feel pressured to go in the direction that someone is advising me.  Now that person may not actually be pressuring me but I may be receiving it that way and reacting because of that sense.  Some people will actually go in an entirely different direction simply because someone is advising them one way and even if they know it’s the right way to go they go in another direction because they are so resistant to the direction and/or assistance.

Regardless of what reasoning you have behind it chances are your resistance is causing you more stress overall than if you were to just let go and let things happen as they are meant to.

Change overall is the universe’s way of transitioning us into the direction we are meant to go and when you ignore the signs and resist the change you are only causing yourself more difficulty and stress.  When you are resisting change, the universe sometimes responds with a jolt in the direction you’re supposed to be going so if your life suddenly changes I believe it’s because you’ve been ignoring the signs for so long that this is the only way the universe can alert you.  Sometimes this alert can cause you to experience hurt emotions and I don’t believe that this is any sort of payback or karma, it’s just that if you get too far off your path there’s only one way for the universe to get you back on it in time.

Be mindful, stay aware and tuned in to what’s going on around you, pay attention to your path, the signs and those in your life.  We are all here to bring meaning to each other’s lives, teach, learn and grow.  Let your desires help lead you to your passion and purpose, don’t be in too much of a rush, it will find you when the time is right.

dreams for our life

 
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Posted by on December 11, 2012 in Blog

 

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Lessons, Lessons, Lessons!

Embracing Them All

I really believe that everything happens for a reason and as it should in the right time, although I’ve had my faith significantly challenged in these beliefs at times which has led me to question certain occurrences in my life.  I’ve come to the conclusion in the last little while that regardless of how difficult it may be, embracing the lesson may be the answer.  Even the lessons that don’t seem like there is a conclusion to, I think sometimes, embracing the lesson is the conclusion.

I have both resisted and accepted different lessons I’ve experienced, and so far resistance has been the most harmful to me and has caused the negativity attached to the lesson to drag on for much longer than it needed to.  As well, I noticed when resisting that the lesson has continued to appear in my life, whether I liked it or not, through different scenarios and/or people, until I was finally able to acknowledge, understand and progress from it. 

On almost every lesson I’ve had so far I’ve discovered that there was a need that I wasn’t aware of and wasn’t allowing to be fulfilled because my ego was quite sure it knew what the need was and was searching in the wrong place.  With my ego venturing off believing it knew best, I’ve wondered if it is possible for those in our circle to get caught in the middle of a lesson that is not part of their path simply because of their placement and vice versa.  When you are emotionally attached to someone it can be hard to sit back and let them lead, especially if you feel you can help, but ultimately it is their lesson and not our place to invade.

What does one do when they find themselves in this situation?  I believe that our awareness and inner voice (gut instinct) will let us know when that is the case and guide us to step back, the challenge is whether or not we listen to it.  The best I’ve found is to offer but not insist, you can’t steer someone else’s ship but you can help guide them through the rocks.

My thoughts have started to sway towards an understanding in the divinity of it all, are these really mistakes?  Or are they guided interventions that the universe is arranging to help us move in the direction of the path we are meant to be on?  I’ve realized that without some of the more challenging lessons I’ve had there may have been so many areas of thought, intention, passion and purpose I may not have discovered.

My curiosity is these different areas of thought are strong and I like investigating all the options, if I don’t I leave myself without possibilities.  It’s the possibilities that create the energy I need to sustain myself through the difficult times and it helps me to find a way to dance when it rains.

I’ve found that embracing all the lessons is providing me with a calmer sense of being, energized intention and a stronger insight into enjoying the journey.

 
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Posted by on October 16, 2012 in Blog

 

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