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The Reward is the Warmth in Your Heart

Expectations Have No Place!

The “Give and Take” in every relationship should be one of equality on at least one level but hopefully more. The act of giving should always be with an open heart and without expectation but when the act of taking becomes overwhelming perhaps it’s time to revisit the foundation of the relationship to avoid developing the negative emotion of resentment.

An expectation is like broken trust or loyalty, it is corrosive, it does damage in ways you don’t even realize. An expectation can hold on well after a relationship has dissolved and develop into stumbling blocks or red flags during the period of time when new relationships begin to form. You may not realize it but when you are holding onto something from your past and are unwilling to change your story it deters people from wanting to be in your company and the only person that hurts is you.

Everyone always says “it’s the little things that count” and that is so true but if you attach an expectation to even the little things it’s diminishes its value greatly.

Respect, gratitude and graciousness towards others shouldn’t be compromised to serve only one and there is more reward, warmth in your heart, when the intention comes from a place of purity. No action taken for the purpose of manipulation, lies or self-serving behaviour comes from a positive place. Intention is everything and if it is anything less than unconditional then the intention that may have started out from a pure thought changes negatively. Be very aware of your intentions and actions because they speak much louder than any words can ever say and hurt at a far deeper level than anyone is usually willing to admit.

Sometimes you can unknowingly carry expectations into current or new relationships because a past issue that caused you emotional hurt is unresolved. Emotions are finicky and unpredictable and no matter how well you may think you’ve managed to control them they have a tendency to find a way back out and usually at the worst time!

I think the biggest indication to knowing you have truly moved past something is when you no longer feel any animosity or concern. Letting go is the act of releasing something you cannot change or control and allowing it to be. This is a good thing because if something is holding you back and preventing you from enjoying or embracing your life the way you deserve to than it was obviously something that didn’t belong on your path.

Trust that the universe is working for you, not against you and know that everyone that comes into your life and every experience happens for a reason. We are all an intricate and necessary part of the human existence and each of us will have an impact on at least one person if not more, I think it is best to make that impact be positive.

I heard this phrase recently, can’t remember where from but it went something like this:

“A man can accomplish anything when he realizes he’s a part of something bigger”

Think of the Universe as a huge puzzle and each one of us is a piece of it, even one of us gone causes the puzzle to be incomplete. So along that line, then what about when people pass on or new babies are born? I think the puzzle is constantly changing to adapt, encompass and embrace those changes but it doesn’t change the importance of any one of us, we are all relevant.

Once you give up your expectations, you will never be disappointed again! It’s as easy as changing your intention which immediately changes your direction and your attitude.

You can have everything you want in life if you stay focused!

expectations quote

 
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Posted by on May 14, 2014 in Blog

 

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Putting On Your Poker Face

Or Calling Your Own Bluff?

We all have our own ideas when it comes to our expectations in all areas of our lives.  I know I’ve made decisions (good and bad) based on my own expectations of others and emotional feelings but the bigger questions to ask myself are:

  1. Do I hold myself to that same level of expectation?
  2. If I fail to meet that expection do I hold myself accountable or do I justify it?
  3. Am I open and willing to honestly find resolution or peace?

I think that only those closely involved in my life could answer the first question for me, I believe I do, but then again I’m not on the other side of that expectation.

I do tend to disect situations and events down to the very last detail, that is just who I am.  When it comes to evaluating things I don’t like to leave any question unanswered, or any theory unexplored, which can at times lead to frustration for those participating in the conversation of evaluation.

I have gone down the road of justifying a bad decision, one of the most significant reasons being that I had been too stubborn to find a middle ground and the other because the emotional hurt felt like it was at such a high level that finding middle ground seemed near impossible.  I don’t think anyone is mistake free, I know I’m not, but self-reflection in this area is a great opportunity to learn the capacity of your own character and integrity.  To find out what you are really made of and whether or not you have the courage to look in the mirror and take ownership for how you’ve done so far.

In failing to meet that same expectation and going down the road of justifying it, the opportunity to turn it around and make it positive lies within acknowledging your own part and sincerely trying to find resolution or peace.  How each individual finds their resolution or peace will be a process that is unique only to them but I think the main thing, is to be true to who you are deep down and know that any action conflicting with that is ultimately harmful to you the most.  I believe that if you go against the grain of your own spirit it will be such an inner conflict that problems will arise, whether that manifests itself physically, emotionally or both.

I can’t say that all physical issues “I don’t have the credentials”, but I believe that most arise because somewhere within we are causing ourselves an emotional distress that creates the physical manifestation in our health.  This does not mean that once you dissolve the emotional distress that the physical issue will go away, sometimes it does, sometimes it doesn’t.  I think that depends on how far along the physical issue has progressed.  Once an emotional issue manifests to physical in your body it may take a lot longer to make it go away.  The time it has taken to manifest physically and how long it has carried out for will determine how far the roots of it extend and it may take A LOT of hard work to try to overcome it.

In my case the physical health issue I had experienced, which was created from an emotional issue, manifested in the form of stress, and stress can cause a variety of mock symptoms for various health issues, and luckily mine disappeared when I resolved the stress.

Regardless of how emotional or physical issues manifest within us self-reflection is always a positive step in the right direction, which may turn out to be the first step in changing your well-being for the better.  When you are willing to look in the mirror and measure your progress by the same level of expectation that you have of others you are choosing to build yourself positively.

Sometimes our own expectations of resolution cannot be found, sometimes the olive branch extended is not accepted, sometimes bridges burned cannot be repaired or reconstructed, sometimes the resolution is accepting the lesson, learning from it for the future and moving forward.

I do believe that there isn’t an issue out there that can’t be resolved, however it does take a significant amount of honesty, sincerity and willingness to find resolution.  Things may not ever be the same but they could end up being better, anything is possible!

 
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Posted by on August 14, 2012 in Blog

 

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