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Author Archives: shelleyhallmark

About shelleyhallmark

Shelley Hallmark was born in Vancouver, British Columbia and grew up in the suburb of Port Coquitlam. She has always had her own thirst for personal growth and self-empowerment and with the publications of many Self-Help authors’ books she found an avenue to inspire and motivate herself beyond the imaginable. As a first time author she seeks to inspire and motivate others in a unique way as well, much like that of her mentors.

The Mastery of Will

You Attract What You Believe

It’s extremely important to really understand the depth and power your own thoughts command.  If someone told you that you created your reality with your thoughts, even the bad experiences that made their way into your life, would you believe it?

I have always embraced good thoughts and subsequent good experiences and even though I’ve always been aware of how impactful my thoughts are on my life I didn’t always connect them on the occasional time they would dip.  It is all energy and alignment, what you are emitting is what you will attract, keeping that in mind when something disappoints, saddens or hurts you will be your most important time of vigilance.

This isn’t to say that every bad experience you’ve had is your fault, you do not intentionally invite bad experiences but the energy swirling around you can.  Your energy has a magnetic field that attracts and pulls in like energy which is why it is so imperative to check in with yourself often, monitor and change your thoughts when necessary.

I do believe destiny plays a powerful role and that my experiences (good and bad) have always had something to teach me.  In the positive light after a negative experience I always look for the lesson, what can I take away from it?  Even an elevation in awareness from a negative experience becomes the positive light at the end of a dark tunnel.

The Human Factor:  When venturing down a negative road within your thoughts you are unconsciously constructing the prison your mind will be sentenced to live in, one that impacts your actions, your outlook and ultimately your quality of life.  Which side of that spectrum you lean toward (positive or negative) is the direction you alone get to choose.  Living in the positive significantly expands and cultivates positive thoughts, actions and outlook on life in growth and for me is the only way.

Every thing began with a thought.  Every achievement began with an action.  Everything you want in life is on the other side of those thoughts and actions.  Fear is the only thing that can stop you from chasing what you desire.  There are a few acronyms to define fear but I heard one the other day that is my new favourite and best describes my relationship with it when I let it in.

  • False
  • Expectations
  • Appearing
  • Real

That is exactly how it has felt when I’ve allowed myself to be infected by fear.  I would magnify those thoughts in my mind giving fear more life and power than it deserved.  Thankfully my determination to overcome that adversity is a much stronger will of mine than fear.  I absolutely refuse to let fear define me in any way.

You have to believe so strongly in yourself and the direction you are going toward that you are able to accomplish whatever it is you set your mind to.  It is within that belief (mastery of will) that you can achieve anything.

The Soul Within:  Hearing and heeding your inner voice is the most effective way to nurture the soul within, to help it flourish and to discover your destined path, divinely guided that is.

Let go of control and allow the Universe to bring toward you what is divinely guided and let your mind be.  There is no need to worry or stress about it, what is meant for you will never miss you.  You have to trust in that and go about your life.  Build what you need to in the meantime knowing all things are going to fall into place when they are meant to without you trying to force things along or in the timeframe you believe it should be.

When you try to force or guide things you end up creating a resistance in the Universe because you are going against its natural flow and divine timing.  I know it is difficult sometimes to allow things to unfold especially if you are feeling inspired or motivated to forge ahead but it is called divine timing for a reason.  We don’t always know the reasons why things occur when they do or when they don’t and it is

Another phrase I heard somewhere in the last month that also resonated with me was “life is not a dress rehearsal and time is not a renewable resource”.  My appreciation with this phrase is a resounding reminder about the importance of a moment, the value of a connection, how rare they are and not to take them for granted.

Life can change in a moment, regret can last a lifetime, say yes to as many life changing positive opportunities as you can!

 
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Posted by on June 29, 2018 in Blog

 

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If You Change How You View Things

Then You’ll Change How You Do Things

Something Old:  Sadness from your experiences is a state of being and is supposed to be the temporary transition period until you have found healing.  It is when you stay in that space for too long that it begins to become a part of your life, the reason for not moving forward and harmful to your soul.

It is my observation when I see someone unhappy or dissatisfied in their life that they are not actually disconnected but most times just feeling that way.  Isolation of the soul can be more damaging to your quality of life but it is the ego’s way of controlling your thoughts and your thoughts can overshadow even the best of realities.  It isn’t always that others are against you as you may feel at times and when you change how you are viewing a situation in your life then it changes the entire validity of that negative thought.  This is not just a theory by Wayne Dyer about changing the way you look at things and the things you look at change, I have actually tested it and it proved to be true which effectively changed the dynamic of a relationship I had viewed differently as well as shifted it into a more positive direction.  Had I done this earlier I wouldn’t have had to endure the thoughts I created with my view for so long which caused discomfort, disharmony and friction.

This isn’t to say that sadness you experience is unfounded but rather that it doesn’t need to stay in the forefront of your thoughts and life for as long as you sometimes allow it.  I’m not discounting that there could be someone or something at the source of an unhappiness but when you know that what is the best route for your soul to take when this occurs?  As always remedies to anything isn’t a “one size fits all” type of decision and outcome but developing your awareness to recognize when you become stuck is how you eventually find your way out of that fray.  Whenever I experience difficulty I consciously step back and look for a different view or perspective because I am aware that the alternative is restrictive thought that can alter my quality of life and I would much rather look for the lesson than fan the flames of the issue.

My remedy?  It starts with communication; expressing and understanding how I, you and all of us affect others within the communications we have.  It is my thought that the biggest misunderstandings can be traced back to a breakdown in communication because this is how we connect with each other, how we are heard and how we are validated.  I understand the feeling of wanting to be heard and validated in the midst of a difficult conversation but when you offer the same in return to the other person you are opening the lines of communication back up and showing by example that you too are dedicated and compassionate about finding resolution.  It’s so much more important to be kind over being right!

You must be the change you wish to see in the world – Mahatma Gandhi

This is no different than any one person extending a piece of themselves compassionately and/or empathetically to nurture and nourish their family, their pet, a garden or those around them in their community.  This is what keeps that interconnected link between us all free and clear of the debris that can corrode and compromise it.

As you evolve letting go of thoughts, attitudes, behaviours and patterns that are no longer working for you relieves the burdens of stress and creates the space that allows for open thought and different views.  My resolve for this struggle in my life was to expand my awareness so I could recognize this for what it was, resistance.  I used to think of resistance in only one definition until I knew better.  In the past my association was relevant to participating in competitive sports as opposition.  Resistance to me was coming up against a roadblock to the direction in which I wanted to go.  What I’ve come to better understand is that at certain times in my life I have embraced resistance when I didn’t allow my natural path to flow unknowingly creating my own brand of opposition.  Of course as we all go through experiences we hopefully learn from them and for this particular aspect in my life I’ve gained an awareness of the part I have played when trying to direct my destiny instead of allowing it to unfold.

Resistance by definition is:  the refusal to accept or comply with something; the attempt to prevent something by action or argument.

I feel it’s just about being consciously alert to the changes that occur for you when resistance is on the horizon and channeling that energy into a more positive outlet to serve you better.

Something New:  I think the best direction to always go is toward the positive, well of course!  Obviously I don’t know everything there is to know about all things but what I do know is that you won’t exact change while embracing the energy that created an issue to begin with.  It is only through doing something different that different results occur.

Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different result – Albert Einstein

What separates us at times is ego, an ego unchecked, imbalanced and overexposed can become overwhelming not just to the people around but the one carrying the imbalance.  A good way to determine what you are projecting is by noticing what you are attracting.  What are your dominant thoughts and are they positive?  Do you see experiences occur in your life that coincide and/or support those dominant thoughts?  If these are not the experiences you want to see changing your views is the beginning.  When you invest more of yourself into the people and experiences it breathes new life into those connections much like the cup runneth over.  In turn you will find that as your energetic output positively changes so does theirs in response.

It is not any one person’s responsibility to fix we are all connected and here to work together.  It’s not enough that we hope someone else is taking care of things but rather that we all work as one, stronger and united in the common goal of caring, nurturing and growing the world around us positively.  Separation exists in ego form and serves only to honor its purpose which divides our souls in human existence only.

If you are looking for inspiration, choose the Lennon of your pleasure in the links below! 

While they are both gifted musically and creatively the messages at the forefront that resonate with me serve more as a collaborative guide with which to motivate and inspire us all to look within and help when and where you can.  If we are collectively all working to support and lift up those around us then the environment in which we live becomes the beautiful place it is supposed to be!

I love life, the people in it with me, experiencing joy with them and doing what l I can to preserve and not hurt the natural beauty of the environment we’ve been blessed to enjoy.

Imagine – John Lennon ………. “You may say I’m a dreamer but I’m not the only one”

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jluuMN3xGU0

Saltwater – Julian Lennon ……… “We are a billion children rolled into one”

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lk6QLXWL-Io

 
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Posted by on May 19, 2018 in Blog

 

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Off the Beaten Path

Finding Your Way with Feeling

Have you at one time experienced the moment, day, week or month (hopefully not a year) of feeling lost without hope or options?  Most times feeling lost creates a sense of panic and the extent of that panic of course depends on how much of an over thinker you are.  Getting a hold of yourself and your thoughts to find the way out is your best and only option.

It is my sense that feeling lost is related to some sort of conflict that you feel overwhelmed, overpowered or minimized by.

Conflict itself is just your soul’s way of communicating to you that are off your path, that you aren’t where you are destined to be.  I think many of us get so caught up in the details of a conflict that we miss the lesson while heading toward our intended destiny.  I don’t mean exactly that certain people aren’t meant to cross and/or be in your life but rather that instead of focusing on the conflict try to figure out why it is there to begin with.  What or who are you really battling against?

Keep the bigger picture in mind when assessing conflict or issues of any kind, not everything is as negative as it seems to be.  Just maybe it is meant to propel you into a new direction, a direction you might not otherwise have discovered had you not been pushed.  Maybe it is connected to a quality or characteristic you need to develop to fit into the puzzle that is your future destiny.  I kind of see things in that perspective as each of my experiences pass and I have time to reflect on what the real purpose/lesson was.  I usually find that I have gained greater clarity and that what I’ve learned or developed as a result of the experience will help me going toward my purpose.  There are some that I had to repeat, I guess I just felt I knew better at times and how wrong I was and pained to have to go through one again but thankful at least that I could look back and make the connection changing it from the negative experience into a positive result.

Taking back the power, your power, that you’ve allowed the experience to take control of is your bridge to freedom.

It is my thought that the four elements to embracing this perspective, attitude and outlook are to focus on what you’ve gained instead of what was taken away and/or needed to be shed.

Intention:  When you go into any experience it isn’t likely that your intention is to falsely represent yourself, at least I hope not.  If your intention is pure and positive than it is important to include your intention as reference when you look back to assess what went wrong and why the outcome did not turn out as you had hoped.  Everything happens for a reason!

Receptive:  Are you receptive to the thoughts and opinions of others, not in the way of dismissing your own but open to meeting another’s actions, behaviours and opinions with love and acceptance?  Allowing them to be who they are without judgement or constraint?  By remaining receptive you show that you are considerate and respectful and not trying to force a response or outcome you want which in turn shows another how you also want to be treated.  We teach people how to treat us!

Abundance:  I used to associate abundance in a monetary sense very long ago and of course that was a very naïve assumption.  Abundance is present in so many areas of life and monetarily is actually the least valuable.  Abundance in love, respect and compassion towards yourself and for others are the highest of value and my most cherished.  You cannot buy any of these nor can you force them, they are most beautiful when given freely and without attachment.  The authentic moment is priceless!

Gratitude:  It’s important to have gratitude for even the difficulties as terrible as they are because it is both good and bad experiences that shape you into the person you become.  When I have experiences that don’t turn out the way I hoped I have always concluded that there must have been an aspect of myself I needed to grow or strengthen to better serve me in the future.  Becoming aware of each and every success or challenge that has changed something in me for the better is why I continue to keep this faith.  Even the small steps matter!

When you find yourself off the beaten path do whatever you need to rein yourself back in, look for your signs they truly are all around you trying to guide you back and remember:

  • Everything happens for a reason
  • We teach people how to treat us
  • The authentic moment is priceless
  • Even the small steps matter

Forge ahead with intention, change your negative experiences into positive, stay open and receptive to welcoming abundance in your life with a big dose of gratitude!

 
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Posted by on May 2, 2018 in Blog

 

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Thinking Outside of the Box …. and

Changing Your View

When you are trying to get someone to hear, acknowledge and/or validate your feelings it’s such a graceful place to be in if at the same time you can offer the same in return.  Not everything is as it seems and of course not all views are the same.  If you are unwilling to allow any room for someone to express and also be heard then how can you possibly justify expecting that from them in return?  Communication from the foundation of love is truly the only way to resolve, any other mindset will block that doorway.

Even when the only option always seems like you are the one being the bigger person, be that person anyway, it keeps your soul clear of all effects that can negatively impact your state of being, living and existing.  When you think of the personal teachings that are your soul’s existence, your own ideology, does it resonate with or against you when you aren’t allowing compassion?  I think your answer to this question is yours alone and one that will help direct or re-direct you back onto the path toward your personal destiny, we all have one.

No one soul is better than another but your ego self and the energy you bring can change the direction of your life and who is drawn or deflected by it which inevitably determines the places you will go or are encouraged to return to.  Pay attention to the energy you bring, it usually introduces you before you even say a word.  Inauthenticity can be off-putting and is a controlling behaviour of the ego, open and warm energy is the natural projection of your soul.

When you are open and offer to be understanding and gracious during a time of conflict you create a space of freedom within speech, objectivity and vulnerability.  This opens the lines of communication right down to the soul level and the opportunities for a deeper bond can transcend any negative boundaries that previously dominated the communication.  Revealing your own vulnerability and authenticity may seem too open to being hurt but it is such a valuable extension of yourself towards others that you just can’t afford to suppress.

I feel it is when we are protecting our hearts so intensely that we end up closing the door to discovering something new, something possibly dreamy and inconceivable.  You have no idea what you can potentially miss out on when you refuse to let others in because of past hurts that have colored or damaged your ability to have a healthy and spirited approach to trust.

We all have something to offer and share, sometimes your sadness and hurt can prevent you from remaining true to that faith.

It is really important to hold your faith through the challenges and successes that life brings your way as it is building you for your destiny.  Even when a storm becomes so overwhelmingly cloudy and dark that it causes you to question your vision about the bigger picture, trust in the divine anyway.  Nothing you can’t handle will come your way and everything does happen for a reason.

Your higher purpose and the greater good are a part of everyone’s journey, be intensely curious to discover yours!

 
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Posted by on April 18, 2018 in Blog

 

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Simplicity at it’s Best!

Dialing things down

We all have our own truth and what fits for you isn’t always going to fit with everyone else, it’s just a matter of respecting that without trying to change another’s outlook or point of view to fit your ideals.  As passionate as you can become about trying to get others to see your point of view sometimes it’s best to let things be and allow people to have their own truth as they see it, even if you believe your way is better for them.  How much is your peace of mind or serenity worth to you in the big picture?  What does serenity mean to you?

Of course it is all about the quote in accepting the things you cannot change, having the courage to change the things you can and having the wisdom to know the difference but how do you really find that acceptance when you are trying to force someone to see your truth or point of view?  It’s so important to be mindful about picking your battles and knowing what is really worth you pushing to be right when it comes to the more minor issues.

I find that the things that bothered me when I was younger don’t really carry as much weight now, not because they don’t matter but rather because if I dial it down a bit to be at the level I could have started from I wouldn’t have got myself so out of sorts.  I think most times when you find yourself getting worked up about an issue that wouldn’t normally escalate to where you’ve brought it to that is the sign that it is not really the core of what is bothering you and a more in depth look within is needed to find out exactly what the core of that issue is.

I think you will be surprised at how far off the issue you actually are when you do that in depth look within and it usually stems from an unhealed wound from the past.  These are just triggers, like signposts to remind you that you’ve gotten yourself off course from your destined path.  The resistance you feel within is a manifestation of your soul trying to get your attention and guide you back onto your path.  I think deep within you know when you are off course mostly because you feel frustrated and anxious about the things going on around you and how out of alignment they feel.  Most times you are actually personally disconnected from your soul and need to re-build your inner power.

So what is your truth?  Are you trying to pressure your thoughts or ideas onto someone else because you think you know better?  Honestly do you really think you know more than your maker?  I don’t think I would be so bold as to declare that I do.  There is still much more for me to learn and when I dial things back to the level they should really be at it really helps me to keep things in the right perspective.

Your own personal soul work is a lot harder to look at than pointing out what others are doing wrong and I’m sure your ego would strongly agree.  Are you letting your ego, the part of you that says but you just don’t understand, you’re not personally involved, you weren’t there and so many other excuses to support that argument?  Your ego isn’t in it for you to evolve, not a chance, your ego is in it to win it and to serve the higher purpose of supporting being right.  At all times being right isn’t as important as being kind which I’m sure you would agree if you were on the other end of being treated unkindly.

What part of dialing things down will help you live a much healthier and simplistic lifestyle for the purpose of peace of mind and/or serenity?  How much is that state of being worth to you?  To me it’s priceless!  Nothing is worth the battle, it doesn’t mean you are surrendering, submitting or saying someone else is right, it means you are saying I value my peace more than the dispute.  It means you are saying the benefits of continuing down a path of disagreement isn’t worth my peace of mind or the damage it can do to me within or my relationship with the other person.

Dialing things down and embracing simplicity in every aspect of your life allows you to find humility, gratitude, tranquility, serenity and an easier path.  I would rather travel on the path of peace than that of anxiety and conflict.  This doesn’t mean I am a doormat and never stand up for the things that matter but I have learned to determine what matters most for me and what doesn’t.  Knowing and understanding what my truth is and developing healthy boundaries hopefully inspires others to find theirs as well.

Simplicity is simply that!

 

 
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Posted by on April 13, 2018 in Blog

 

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The New Normal

Breaking the Cycle

I’m sure at some point we have all recognized a cycle or pattern occur or reoccur in our lives and usually not until the undesirable happens.  The undesirable being the outcome that you either didn’t expect or didn’t want.

If it was something you didn’t expect then you probably weren’t listening to the warnings your inner voice was nudging you about or your ego was encouraging you that you knew better.

If it was something you didn’t want then the outcome was already placed in your subconscious and therefore inevitable because in the back of your mind you expect it may be a possibility.

The law of attraction will give you exactly what you want to think about the most.  Your conscious mind can try to trick you into believing something but the truth of what you really feel and believe is stored in your subconscious.  If you believe in your subconscious that you are in a pattern/cycle that is going to fail then you can tell your conscious self all you want that everything is fine but deep down you know it’s not.

What I have become mindful of over time is my inner voice/gut instincts in identifying the parallels and precursors to those undesirable circumstances so I can prevent a reoccurrence.  I’ve also found that cycles and patterns of experiences and/or behaviours have many variables at the core and no two are alike which is why I say I stay mindful but not apathetic.  It is very important to remain open yet aware so you do not risk closing yourself off from the good that could come into your life.

Most of the patterns and cycles reoccur not because we aren’t being smart but because they are familiar, even when they may be toxic.  Your environment from childhood and up to adult is what you have been marinated in and in essence becomes the fabric of who you are even if the environment wasn’t favourable.  Sometimes as a result you end up seeking a similar environment not because it is what you desire but because it is familiar.  As I said there are many variables at the core of each of us and no two experiences are identical and if your environment wasn’t favourable it doesn’t necessarily mean you are cursed to end up in that same place.

Awareness is your best friend, openness is your faith, kindness is your assistant and love is your hope.

Remembering the positives from your past instead of the negative aspects is a good way to understand and learn what the experiences are there to teach you so you don’t go through it again.  When you do this it helps your soul heal so you can remain open to the good but aware so you don’t fall back again and bypass your destiny.  We all have a destined purpose and if you aren’t sure if you are living yours then just ask yourself these questions:

Do I have passion in my life?

Am I living or just existing?

I think most reasons for starting to question your experiences come after what feels like mistake after mistake or failure after failure which I can easily identify with.  I’ve had my share of undesirable experiences and they have taught much more than I would have gained without them.  The answer is to reflect and review your past for present and future purposes but don’t stay there.  Creating a new familiar and normal will bring harmony and a peaceful state of existence to all your relationships that will have you aspiring to cultivate this in every area of your life.  I know it has for me!

A life that isn’t dependent upon any expectation but rather passionately thriving, embracing and celebrating all the positives that come your way, big or small.  When you have gratitude for the little things in life it makes the bigger things even more profound when they occur and they definitely will!

Create your new normal, life your best life and live it with passion!

 
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Posted by on April 6, 2018 in Blog

 

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Choosing the Higher Ground

By Picking your Battles

I heard the phrase “picking your battles” years ago in relation to parenting and while you may have the best intention for wanting to guide your children towards their best life you can’t expect to bulldoze your way through without allowing their inner spirit to also have a voice.  In picking the battles that are the most important to you as well as allowing those that are the most important to your children it provides them with the understanding for the foundation of compromise through communication and balance in finding middle ground.

While I had initially become aware of this during my daughter’s younger years what I’ve realized is that this expression is not isolated to just parenting your child.  It transcends into all relationships and is an important reminder for us all when working through any kind of difficulty.

Sometimes the more empowering path you can take is to choose the higher ground even when you feel you are in the right.  Wayne Dyer referenced this quote by R.J. Palacio “When given the choice between being right or being kind, choose kind”.  We should always be choosing kind, it’s not just about taking the moral high ground but also about embracing a little humility and grace for others along the way.  Sensitivity towards others even if it isn’t reciprocated is emancipation for your soul, a feeling you soon won’t forget and likely something you will want to repeat.

Forgiveness is a powerful thing, first for yourself and then for others.  Holding onto anger, resentment or bitterness damages more within you than against that which you despise, condemn or blame.

What has your disappointment cost you?

I think the best way to evaluate this is to look at how present a past experience is in your daily life, does it in any way inhabit your thoughts, words, behaviour or actions?  Is it preventing you from moving forward?  Is it influencing how you feel about yourself negatively?  Do you feel exhausted and drained so much so that you know your best option is to just put the baggage down and walk freely ahead?

What is your peace worth?

Peace of mind is not something you can buy but the value of your peace should be priceless!  It is only through letting go of that which no longer serves you that you find your peace.  Peace is whatever you define it to be for you whether that is harmony of the soul, freedom from disturbance or tranquility of the mind.  It is whatever resonates within that allows you complete relief from the burdens that have run you down and threaten your happiness in life.

What’s in your heart?

Stillness speaks volumes!  It’s so important to hear and heed the whispers, listen to what has been placed on your heart and you will find your passion and purpose.  No matter what that is, no matter how possible or impossible it seems, follow it.  Everything in us has been placed there for a reason, reasons you may not know yet but are meant to lead you into your best life.  Don’t challenge what you feel, embrace it.

What does your soul tell you?

While it’s important to follow your heart, it’s also important to listen to your soul, your inner voice, your gut instinct.  When you allow your heart (your emotion) to be heard and connect it with your soul (your inner voice) you become the spirit warrior you were meant to and everything that once felt like obstacles begin to fall away.  You allow yourself to live passionately which aligns you with your life’s purpose.  Don’t let yourself to settle for anything less!

Letting go to forgive, to heal, to move forward is for others but mostly for you, it allows you to accept and release yourself from the outcome you wanted and expected to see.

Raise yourself up and stand on the higher ground, some battles aren’t worth the fight especially if you lose something of yourself in it.  Return your power to where it belongs, with you!

 
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Posted by on March 30, 2018 in Blog

 

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