The Value of Connecting
Even the hard conversations matter!
- They are not easy to approach
- They are not easy to have
- They are not easy to get through
They all have one thing in common, they are very important to finding resolution. I always try to put myself in another’s shoes when trying to understand where someone is coming from and how they are affected when in conflict. Being open and committed to resolution is a necessity to finding a positive outcome.
However, not all conflict can be resolved, not because it’s impossible but because change only occurs when there is productive commitment to that goal. You don’t always know what another person is experiencing in their life. Not all reactive behaviour can be understood on a surface level and if someone is willing to share please always let compassion be part of the essence of that conversation.
I have had experiences on both sides, with those who are open and those who are defensive. It’s obvious as to which side is most compatible with resolution. I don’t think understanding defensiveness is really that difficult but if the person you are in conflict with will not let it go then resolution can be challenging if not impossible.
It’s difficult to take a hard look at your contribution to any experience and no one is innocent whether you believe you are or not. It takes two to tango so being conscious and owning your part is a requirement in finding peace. If not able to within a conflict then at least with yourself and from there you will grow. Personal growth is the staple your evolution with the most important aspect being open to taking responsibility for your decisions and choices. A stone thrown cannot be retrieved or undone, understanding how powerful or damaging the words you choose can be the doing or undoing in your relationships and minimizing how they affect someone else is a short sighted and foolish miscalculation.
Even though we can connect with anyone and everyone at any time all over the world, which is a great feature of the technological advancements, I feel it disconnects us more in many ways. I see it used in both positive and negative pursuits and while I see many beautiful positives the negatives still lurk in the background. I don’t believe that one chooses to hurt another simply for the sport of it. Striking out usually comes from a place of hurt and pain, similar to an injured animal protecting its wound because they’ve lost trust that the help is sincere.
Trust is very precious and when exploited it becomes near impossible to re-establish that very delicate balance. If we all understood this as deeply as it should resonate within I think we would all be less likely to challenge that risk.
During this global pause we have an opportunity to explore the things that elude us including the ability to connect through real conversation. Before this my life was going so fast, every task and experience was the equivalent of being late to work and trying to rush as fast as I could to get there on time. A constant race in testing the boundaries of how much I could really get done in a day, leaving me with no time for personal nourishment of soul.
How much have you taken for granted as the world has progressed to become so crazy busy and are you embracing these now for the gifts they are?
There are so many things I feel blessed with and am thankful for.
- Clean air to breathe through healthy lungs
- Strength and the ability to actively move as I desire and need
- Solitude to recharge, fortify and nurture my mind, body and spirit
- An environment that provides me with beautiful and breathtaking scenery
- Blessed connections with those who inspire, motivate and nourish my soul to move in the direction of my dreams.
It’s these basic foundations that at times are taken for granted, overlooked as the blessings they are when forgetting that life’s offerings are not part of the mindset encumbrances you imprison yourself with. Your mind is more powerful than you realize, it can either inspire or paralyze you and the difference between which side you reside in is entirely your choice. It takes one thought, one decision, one shift of mindset to step into your power, to embrace and engage in all things that improve your world. It is right there proof positive in whatever shifts that for you whether it is a book, movie, seminar, infomercial, whatever elevates you to feel inspired, to believe. Notice how it takes only that one moment to shift? Shockingly that moment can be really hard to advance to because it is in direct conflict with the ego. The ego loves and thrives to be in control whether that is beneficial or detrimental to you, it does not discern, it serves only itself.
If you approach, embrace and inhabit this wave in all things you do there is no other outcome except positive change. If you knew you could not fail would you attempt to try something? It’s an intriguing thought isn’t it? I wonder how many would take the chance. You see our biggest detractors is ourselves. It’s a lot easier to believe in someone else, inspire someone else because the risk to you is lower, you don’t have to put yourself out there but you also don’t receive the inner bliss that is the reward.
What anyone else thinks of your path is none of your business, simply because it is what ignites your soul not theirs. Ego inspired thoughts from others designed to distinguish your spirit come from a place of one’s own fear. When someone tries to discourage you for whatever reason know that they are telling you their story, not yours.
We all have our own unique ways to elevate our lives and we all inherently know how to fan and expand those flames. I think now is a really good time to explore, to find your inspiration, to allow your own beauty to shine!
Shelley Hallmark 