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The New Normal

Breaking the Cycle

I’m sure at some point we have all recognized a cycle or pattern occur or reoccur in our lives and usually not until the undesirable happens.  The undesirable being the outcome that you either didn’t expect or didn’t want.

If it was something you didn’t expect then you probably weren’t listening to the warnings your inner voice was nudging you about or your ego was encouraging you that you knew better.

If it was something you didn’t want then the outcome was already placed in your subconscious and therefore inevitable because in the back of your mind you expect it may be a possibility.

The law of attraction will give you exactly what you want to think about the most.  Your conscious mind can try to trick you into believing something but the truth of what you really feel and believe is stored in your subconscious.  If you believe in your subconscious that you are in a pattern/cycle that is going to fail then you can tell your conscious self all you want that everything is fine but deep down you know it’s not.

What I have become mindful of over time is my inner voice/gut instincts in identifying the parallels and precursors to those undesirable circumstances so I can prevent a reoccurrence.  I’ve also found that cycles and patterns of experiences and/or behaviours have many variables at the core and no two are alike which is why I say I stay mindful but not apathetic.  It is very important to remain open yet aware so you do not risk closing yourself off from the good that could come into your life.

Most of the patterns and cycles reoccur not because we aren’t being smart but because they are familiar, even when they may be toxic.  Your environment from childhood and up to adult is what you have been marinated in and in essence becomes the fabric of who you are even if the environment wasn’t favourable.  Sometimes as a result you end up seeking a similar environment not because it is what you desire but because it is familiar.  As I said there are many variables at the core of each of us and no two experiences are identical and if your environment wasn’t favourable it doesn’t necessarily mean you are cursed to end up in that same place.

Awareness is your best friend, openness is your faith, kindness is your assistant and love is your hope.

Remembering the positives from your past instead of the negative aspects is a good way to understand and learn what the experiences are there to teach you so you don’t go through it again.  When you do this it helps your soul heal so you can remain open to the good but aware so you don’t fall back again and bypass your destiny.  We all have a destined purpose and if you aren’t sure if you are living yours then just ask yourself these questions:

Do I have passion in my life?

Am I living or just existing?

I think most reasons for starting to question your experiences come after what feels like mistake after mistake or failure after failure which I can easily identify with.  I’ve had my share of undesirable experiences and they have taught much more than I would have gained without them.  The answer is to reflect and review your past for present and future purposes but don’t stay there.  Creating a new familiar and normal will bring harmony and a peaceful state of existence to all your relationships that will have you aspiring to cultivate this in every area of your life.  I know it has for me!

A life that isn’t dependent upon any expectation but rather passionately thriving, embracing and celebrating all the positives that come your way, big or small.  When you have gratitude for the little things in life it makes the bigger things even more profound when they occur and they definitely will!

Create your new normal, life your best life and live it with passion!

 
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Posted by on April 6, 2018 in Blog

 

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Things May Change but ……

Your Heart Always Knows!

Don’t believe anything other than what you have placed inside your heart, you are the only one that knows what is true for you.  Let your belief in yourself be greater than any doubt whether that is internal dialogue created by external experiences or opinions.  Live only your truth!

The truth of who you really are, your deepest and secret desires, they have all been placed within from as far back as you can remember.  Those dreams you had early on in life may or may not have evolved much from your original vision but where they came from does not change.  Your heart wants what it wants and the only way to prevent inner conflict is not going against that.  Choose to support yourself and the dreams that the younger version of you had hoped for.  There is no guide or timeline to follow that says when you get to a certain point in life you have passed the opportunity of going after your dreams, your dreams do not have an expiry date!

Your heart always knows how to get you to where you want to go although that isn’t as easily followed as it may sound.  Your heart is vulnerable when being authentic and easily hurt yet strong enough to rise again when opposed.

I clipped a piece from Max Ehrmann’s “Desiderata” poem below which I felt was most in alignment in describing how special each of us are, your authentic self, without prejudice or compromise.

You are a child of the universe,
no less than the trees and the stars;
you have a right to be here.
And whether or not it is clear to you,
no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should. 

What is the true essence of your authentic self?

  • I think it takes a fair amount of time and experiences to find your comfort level with being genuine and it’s not just through the child and teen years that you can experience these growing pains. It’s through this growth though that your true essence takes on its beautiful and unique form.

Do you believe your authentic self is too vulnerable to show to others?

  • It’s strange that as you grow you are shaped by the ideas, opinions and definitions of “normal” as seen by the society around you. Ironically when you get to the point of showing your authenticity it’s not at all far from who you were at the beginning, you just have a little more wisdom and experience.

As your awareness to all these little nuances develop you will begin to see how they can positively enhance your life for the better and understand the power of a moment.

If you knew that every moment, every encounter and every experience in being authentic gives you the opportunity for a soul to soul connection you may start to realize how precious these moments of imprinting are.

It is within connecting that you develop those little moments, not with every single person but those you truly blend with and sometimes those you don’t expect to blend with.  That moment when nothing really monumental is happening but you feel instantaneously close with someone which I believe is a true soul to soul connection, an “authentic moment”.

If you haven’t had any experiences like this wouldn’t you want to?  Being authentic doesn’t just show your heart it allows your inner spirit to shine, connect and love.

There are many things we can learn from others through connecting.  I’ve had the privilege of connecting with others who unbeknownst to them have taught me through their example how and what to embrace to be the person I want to become.  One thing they all have in common is authenticity, a genuine compassion for others, a beautiful heart and of course a great sense of humor.

Through all of these impactful people I was liberated and at a pace that didn’t feel overwhelming, they all helped me to learn and love my authenticity, to feel comfortable and confident and to always follow my heart.

 
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Posted by on March 9, 2018 in Blog

 

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Raising the Bar

Living through your Lessons with Joy

Your lessons shape you:

You are a product of the environment that you grow through, all your lessons build and shape who you are to become so they are definitely essential.  Even the more difficult experiences carry with them important elements of a plan that has not yet come to fruition.  No one knows their life plan and what things will look like ten, twenty or thirty years down the road.  Sure you may have ideas of what you want to see but how things actually turn out is really dependent upon how you play the hand you are dealt, how you process it internally and externally.

Your experiences and lessons are meant to challenge you to rise to the occasion and I guess the internal question to ponder is how are you doing with that?  Are you allowing the experiences to define you or are you daring to rise up stronger?  I can say with certainty that the lessons are not meant to tear you down to oblivion but instead to dismantle the elements you may have taken on that do no serve your spirit well, the elements you need to let go of or transform.  Not everything we carry with us emotionally is meant to continue past the experience except to be a point of reference (a signpost) for developing awareness.

My lessons have been challenging but not so challenging that I couldn’t recover or find a new path and that’s not because they weren’t very difficult but rather because I refuse to let any difficulty break me.  For sure they take time to go through and not every part of an experience is easy to step back from and be objective about but you need to be kind to yourself when you stumble.  It’s easy to chastise yourself for allowing something to go farther than it should have when you believe you should have known better and the inner dialogue that results can only damage your self-worth and self-esteem.  So the next time you are in the midst of a dilemma allow yourself a moment to step outside of that struggle, look at the experience as if you were providing an analysis or solution for a friend.  If it wasn’t your experience what would you advise a friend to do?  In that moment when you’ve stepped outside of it you’ve allowed yourself a little more objectivity and that can be very empowering in to finding resolution and/or a way to manage through to the end of the experience.

Fake it until you make it:

As difficult as some lessons feel keep telling yourself that you are loving them for the wisdom you know you are going to gain, embrace them even when they aren’t even remotely satisfying because without them you don’t get through to an ending, a closure.  Every experience can have a positive side effect come out of it you just have to want to find it.  It could be renewed strength, personal empowerment or an elevation of gratitude, many effects really.  What you are looking for to define the experience (positive or negative) is exactly what you will continue to find every time you relive it.  Your thoughts and how you perceive your experiences are entirely up to you, you can either lessen the damage or increase it, this is determined by the perspective you are encouraging.

When you talk about an experience you have the opportunity through your thoughts and words whether or not to let that experience be one that broke you or one that made you stronger, it’s your choice!  I say fake it until you make it, maybe at the beginning of that conversation it feels like it broke you but what you can relate to others is that it didn’t break you but made you stronger.  After a while of continuing to repeat those thoughts and words you begin to change the fabric of that story, you inevitably become stronger and while at the beginning you may have been faking it you are now making it true.

Stay present:

Not everything that happens to you occurs because of who you are, try not to take things too personally, I know at times that can be difficult but most often when you experience conflict it isn’t in direct relation to your lessons but maybe another’s, you may just be a part of their experience that is designed to awaken them.

It is a normal response to look for ways to escape the more difficult aspects in life, no one longs for difficulty or struggle but keep in mind it is a lot more taxing on the stress in your mind to resist the natural flow than to allow it.  As easy as letting go sounds in theory, it can be extremely difficult to actually begin that process, it starts with acceptance and brings immediate relief.  I think everyone at one time or another struggles with letting go, when I had the experience I hadn’t realized at that point how much effort it was taking from me to hold onto the resistance and how much relief I felt when I finally let things be.

Life’s ups and downs occur so you can develop boundaries, balance, happiness, clarity and direction.

Sometimes the necessity to find a way out when feeling overwhelmed can be the beginning of a new opportunity so it is important to stay present, eyes wide open.

It is important to me to learn from my past and look forward toward the future with hope while maintaining a strong presence in the now.

Connecting with others on a soul level is the most beautiful part of presence, don’t miss out pursue it passionately!

 
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Posted by on February 23, 2018 in Blog

 

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What Are You Talking About?

Your Thoughts and Energy are a Package Deal

Have you ever noticed that what you consistently think and/or talk about is what keeps showing up in your life?  Chances are it’s the negative aspect that you probably notice the most because it’s what you don’t want.  Positive occurrences are most times thought of as luck and not the manifestation of your thoughts, even when they are positive.

Depending upon which energetic field your thoughts and conversations fall under (positive or negative), you can expect it will all become a self-actualizing prophecy for you because your thoughts and energy are a package deal.  What you think and talk about is what you will create, so be very wary of which energy you are feeding.

I think we all notice the result of negative thinking more because it’s an aggravation to have it show up in your life, so you stress about it, talk with others about how bothered you are by it.

Pay attention dear one, you are now feeding it!

I think everyone has had the bad day, the bad week, the bad month, hopefully not so much the bad year but all of this is the creation of your thoughts.  It’s hard to change the process around from talking about the things that you don’t want especially when they are upsetting to you.  It’s a natural thing to want to discuss, deal and discard the things that have either hurt or hindered you from moving in the direction you want to see yourself going.

By becoming aware of how those thoughts and conversations are influencing what you see develop day after day in your life you will understand how important it is to curb anything negative.  No matter how hard it is at the beginning to change that habit, that addiction to processing, the changes you see develop as a result will be inspiration enough to continue on.  Day by day it becomes easier to let those irritations not weave their way back in and you will see a new habit evolve, a healthier way of life that leads you to the things you want and the things that are meant for you.

Are you seeing the light?  That’s really what it’s like, the positive aspects of life bring a lightness to your life because you are allowing the weight, the heaviness of the negativity to be lifted from you and in reality all you’ve done is allowed your soul its freedom.  The soul, your inner spirit seeks purpose, connection, and an environment that inspires and cultivates your higher calling.  Imagine a place where all things are possible, this is it!

Why do we not embrace it?  Simply because it is the ego that keeps you immersed in a negative, fear based state, all for the sake of controlling you from believing that you can access this place, this state, this happiness.

ego-soul

I’ve always heard that comparison and it had been difficult for me to recognize/differenciate the two (ego & spirit), I didn’t feel like there was any power struggle actually going on, at least nothing that I could easily identify.  When the ego is trying to control though I’ve learned to recognize how it affects me physically and emotionally which shows up like stress, anxiety, a general feeling of disarray in my thoughts which is ultimately resistance between the two opposing sides.

I think how it presents itself is different in everyone.  We are all unique so it makes sense that it’s not a one-size-fits-all kind of answer or solution, it’s just a matter of raising your own awareness.  It’s not like being able to see the difference between colors of black and white but that is how opposing these two really are.

Ego (the brain) wants to rule because it knows, it knows better, it knows all and who’s going to argue, it’s gotten you this far hasn’t it?  Egotistical tells you how great you are, how much you deserve and where you should be.

Spirit (the soul) doesn’t want to rule anything, it wants to give you free will, to choose what your heart desires, to choose what nourishes and feeds your inner glory.  That’s it.

My four steps to counteracting my ego when I notice physical or emotional changes in my thoughts and energy are awareness, choice, acceptance and faith.

Awareness:  Learn to recognize how your external world affects your internal thoughts and energy, what triggers the negative and what cultivates the positive.

Choice:  You always have a choice!  The reasons you choose to tell yourself as to why you can’t do or change something is always prompted by the ego.  Choose to shut it out.  Choose to find greater understanding and awareness, it will show up because once you’ve made that choice you are now open to those answers.

Acceptance:  It’s not always easy to accept the things you cannot change but accepting that you don’t know everything all the time, that maybe some things you’re not supposed to change, sometimes you’re supposed to adapt.  Maybe the Universe has a different plan!

Faith:  When you fall into a dark place sometimes it’s hard to have faith, this is where I think acceptance is linked.  Everything happens for a reason, even things you don’t understand, the bad things too and how could there possibly be a reason for them?  The understanding comes later, sometimes years later but I think it occurs when you’ve made that shift, embraced that which you don’t understand but made it through the storm anyway.

These “Lessons of the Tao” which I became aware of, with great thanks to Dr. Wayne Dyer (1941-2015), help to keep things in perspective for me;

  • Change your thoughts and your life will change
  • There is no way to happiness, happiness is the way
  • You accomplish much by trying less
  • Trust in others to know what’s best for themselves
  • Live without attachment and be generous
  • When you have a choice to be right or to be kind, always pick kind
  • Rather than looking for miracles, see everything as a miracle in your life

the-best-teachers

 
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Posted by on September 21, 2016 in Blog

 

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Cause and Effect

When Change is Your Only Option

[ I haven’t posted any writings in the last few months as I am working on another book but recently I’ve had the thoughts below marinating in my mind and felt the need to share ]

what are you doing for others

Changes in life aren’t always planned or even known, sometimes they just occur all of a sudden and turn your world upside down, hopefully it’s a more positive experience rather than negative but what usually follows is a new ways of seeing, thinking, believing and living.

Transitioning into change isn’t always an easy road but it is naturally how the path progresses.  When you are moving from one phase of your life into the next the changes are not just what is around you, but also what is within.  Changing old habits and/or outdated ways of thinking usually manifests after you’ve either been resisting or struggling to move forward, sometimes without even realizing it.

All life evolves, that we all know and how you personally evolve depends on your choices which of course is of your free will to make but transition can be made easier if you choose to embrace it instead of resisting it (believe me, I’m not saying I’ve always done this, quite the opposite at times, but when you know better, you do better).  I’ve learned to recognize that when I am resisting transition (which I haven’t always been able to identify in the past) that I feel scattered, frustrated, blocked like I’m banging my head against a wall without fully understanding why only to later come to the realization, that “aha” moment, when things start to smooth out and make sense.  Clarity and awareness can be a beautiful thing.

Awareness in yourself is a learned experience, recognizing and reading the signs and symptoms in your own personality is an opportunity worth taking advantage of and sometimes necessary.  Rising to your own challenges will advance every aspect of your character and life but only if you are open to it.  You have to be open to it or it won’t work.

I choose to embrace the positive aspects in all areas of life, I do not like to shed light on negativity for too long because I’m very wary of feeding the wrong energy, but unfortunately sometimes (dare I say, too often) the negative happens and it needs to be looked at in order to raise awareness.

Awareness in others is also a learned experience, recognizing and listening to your inner voice.

When something doesn’t feel right, it isn’t!

Every time I have ignored my gut instinct it always comes back to bite me and that moment of realization, knowing I knew then what I’m learning now feels worse for me because I know I purposely didn’t listen.

I’ve seen a few too many in the last little while of those I care about that are taken advantage of because of their kindness and trust.  Too often when your gut tells you something is wrong you silence it, not always because you think you know better but because within the frame of kindness is the benefit of the doubt.  The benefit of doubt is given out of trust and those who do not have good intentions will manipulate and thrive on that because they are not serving a higher purpose, they are serving only themselves.

  • How does one learn to differentiate between the good and bad?
  • How does one learn to trust their instincts after falling victim to such toxicity and ill will?
  • How does one learn to trust others again?
  • Does the benefit of the doubt ever come back to you?

I think these are the questions you end up asking yourself over and over and over again when an event changes your life abruptly.

I wish there was a quick fix, a way to go back, a way to erase the damage, unfortunately there is not.  The quotes always say you have two options, you rise again or you let it define you, but I don’t know if I agree with that.

I believe there is one option, you rise again, become stronger!

The past cannot be changed, there is absolutely no way you can go back and re-write the story, there is no benefit to re-living it over and over in your mind, you are only torturing yourself. 

There is a process though and the only way to get through a storm is to brave it and fight your way through.  In order to move forward you have to feel the range of emotions as they come and let the wound heal in the time it needs to do so.

The lesson learned, the awareness gained will be that you refuse to give up your personal power to anyone again.  It’s not about forgiving someone else, someone who may or may not be sorry, it’s about forgiving yourself for gracing someone with your kindness and trust when they weren’t worthy of it.

The only thing you can do is make peace with it so you don’t re-live it every day in your present or into your future.  As terrible as an experience is, was or feels, the effects of the experience changes you and how that change manifests within is up to you.

Be a warrior for you!

mirror, mirror

 
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Posted by on June 11, 2016 in Blog

 

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Are You Listening to Me?

Let Your Soul Speak

Emotional growth and awareness is your personal manifestation of really listening to what your soul is trying to tell you. When you finally get in touch and/or alignment with your higher self you will find that the Universe responds in ways unknown to reality. Things begin to happen, move, progress in ways that are unexplainable but tangible to your life and spirit. It is only through this connection with your awareness which your true spirit inside inherently knows that you will begin to see miracles occur. Miracles unexplainable by anyone other than your inner spirit and the Universe, it is your acceptance of this inner peace and trust for “what will be, will be”. When you embrace that state wholeheartedly knowing that the Universe has a plan for you that is ultimately for your benefit, it is during that time of vulnerable trust that beautiful things can happen.

Your emotions are messages from your soul – Gary Zukav

Think about this for a minute and reflect with your own, we all have crazy emotions at times, I know mine can get away from me, overthinking things bigger than they are which just makes the emotion grow and of course making things seem worse. So if your emotions are messages from your soul, what are yours trying to tell you?

The only way to understand and learn from your emotions is to get in touch (connect) with where they are coming from, your soul. I don’t know why but at times it’s difficult to connect with your soul because life just overpowers it with all sorts of “get busy now” tasks that you rush around to complete just so you can finally take that moment for yourself, but it never happens does it? I know my life feels so busy that I think if I can just get all these things done I can have that moment and it never comes because it’s about creating the space for that moment instead of trying to fit it in.

I believe that statement from Gary Zukav that our emotions are trying to connect, I know mine are constantly trying to distract and deter me from my daily rituals so I can find the time to get in touch with the areas that I neglect and that really need my attention. It is your inner spirit, your soul, that feeds and nourishes your mind, body and spirit and when you get disconnected all sorts of havoc occurs. Your personal well-being suffers the most because it’s the most external (even though internal) and prominent way to get your attention, I know I never think of the neglect because I’m so engrossed in my stuff that the realization doesn’t occur to me. Obviously this doesn’t mean that real issues going on are just magically cleared up because you’ve connected with your soul but I do think that it will change the viewpoint you have, enough to allow you a better peace of mind with the situations that are difficult.  It’s so hard not to get caught up in trying to pursue that “better life” that sits at the end of that rainbow, the “if only” I get all this done then I can rest but that rest (that connection) is more important that you may realize. I myself am going to make my own personal resolution to start by taking 5 uninterrupted minutes of the day where I don’t think of anything that is needed from me that I have to do because it’s just as important for me as it is for you. It doesn’t matter what you do in those 5 minutes as long as you are allowing your silence to speak.

When you take these moments for yourself the bustle that you’ve been putting yourself through suddenly loses its momentum and as you continue to take these uninterrupted moments you will find that within that quiet time you find more answers and those answers reduce the hectic schedule because it becomes like a moment of brainstorm. The answers you strive to seek are there “in the stillness” and those answers not only diminish the bustle but lead you in a different direction, one that is much more beneficial for your soul.

Creating those moments helps you find your soul, your true self and your inner awareness and wisdom and from all of those I believe will lead you to your purpose and your higher calling. That discovery is the beginning of an ease and peace of mind, state and soul that allows your spirit to soar.

solitude

 
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Posted by on October 14, 2015 in Blog

 

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Change the Way You Look at Things

The Things you Look at Change!

I know I’ve written about this very topic before but sometimes reminders are necessary, especially for me. When you get too involved in an emotion you end up creating the outcome of least desire whether you realize it or not. Law of attraction says what you think about most is what grows, so even if it’s something you don’t want when you give it more of your energy you end up keeping it alive and feeding it which helps it continue to grow and be a daily part of your life.

I do this at times and even though I realize I am feeding the wrong emotion and desired outcome sometimes it’s hard to turn it off. When you have an issue that weighs on your mind I think it’s natural to think about it more than needed and sometimes overthink it which brings about more of what you don’t want.

Do you ever end up over-analyzing, over-thinking, over-obsessing about all the wrong things only to realize in the end that your worry seemed to magnify your issues more than anything else? Does all that you were worrying about ever manifest the way you envision it? Most of the time it ends up being useless worrying that has caused the extra stress, usually everything works out ok and the thing that was stressing you out the most was you.if-you-change-the-way-you-look-at-things-wayne-dyer

It’s so important for me and you (if you get stuck like this) to change the way you are looking at things because I can guarantee you every time I’ve done that it’s actually changed the way things are. Not for any other reason than the fact that I’ve removed the energy I’m giving to what I don’t want and putting it in the direction of what is better for me.

Get out of your own way by changing the way you are looking at things so that your life can start to fall into the places it’s meant to be. When you do this you will be amazed at how things change, it allows the things that were of such bother to you to drop in importance reducing what you don’t want and increasing the more positive aspects of your life so they can flourish as they are supposed to.

I know this sounds like it’s not really possible, especially if you have some huge issues going on but really when you take away the energy and time you put into the things you don’t want they start to diminish, maybe not immediately but over time (and I don’t mean years). In addition to the outward effect when you remove your energy from what you don’t want, you start to feel lighter and happier because not only was your energy feeding that negativity but it was draining you as well.

Freeing up the space of positive possibilities attracts more of the options you desire because as you move into a better space of thought you become more aligned with the Universe and your personal power and that is the energy you want to feed and grow.

It is only when you are in alignment with all things positive that your life will start to gravitate in the direction you desire. Learning to be aware of your thoughts and feelings so you can identify when you step onto the path of negative thinking will be a strong ally on your road of life and one you shouldn’t do without.

Always remember YOU are in control on what you think and what you feel, you can change both whenever you want simply by shifting what you are giving energy to with your focus. You can change anything aspect of your life you want simply by deciding to and at any moment. The questions you have to ask yourself are;

  • Are you willing to walk away from the darkness that hides your negative moments?

and

  • Are you ready to step into the light that catapults you to your positive life?

If you’ve truthfully, deep down in your soul answered yes to both than you’ve taken the first simple step, the decision. That’s usually the hardest part to address because while everyone wants to be happy, not all are ready to accept it without skepticism or questions.

It’s a charmed life, be open, ready and grateful to live it?

more life to live

 
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Posted by on September 30, 2015 in Blog

 

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