How do you REALLY feel?
I think these are the most important questions to ask yourself and of course the answers are just as important. If something doesn’t FEEL right then it probably isn’t the best choice for you.
Pay attention to what your gut tells you and heed its warnings always! Believe me that’s advice I didn’t always take myself, there are so many choices I’ve made that have gone against what my better judgement was telling me but unfortunately I wasn’t always good at listening and this is something I’ve worked hard at to change.
Your inner spirit, higher self, however you want to refer to it, knows the best path for you and when you continually make choices that go against how you REALLY think and feel that voice, that light, gets dimmed. Strangest thing is you know inside when you are doing it and a lot of times the reason for compromising is for the sake of others and how they think or feel and honestly I don’t know if others really understand how much of yourself you are damaging with these kinds of compromises.
Standing your ground for what you REALLY think or feel is important not just for yourself but for the purpose of creating solid boundaries to protect the beautiful spirit that is YOU so that others know you value yourself. You teach others how to treat you by modelling how you treat yourself and if you continually compromise and walk all over yourself than others will too.
Expressing yourself isn’t supposed to be something that is shunned but rather celebrated because you like everyone else deserve to be celebrated, each of us in our own way. Difference isn’t weird or awkward, it is unique and individual. As much as I enjoy participating in group efforts I still like to create and celebrate my own uniqueness by putting my personal stamp on things I do or create. Not for any other reason except to celebrate my own individuality and uniqueness that is totally me. I don’t want to be a clone of anyone else and I wouldn’t want anyone else to feel like they needed to be exactly like me or someone else because each one of us has a QUALITY that is their unique personalization.
Too often I think compromise happens as a result of feeling like the responsibility falls on your shoulders to make the compromise out of duty or inferiority or because somewhere along the line you’ve developed or been told you are inferior, YOU ARE NOT!
It is time to take back your power! Standing your ground does not mean you are an awful person, it means you respect and love yourself enough to say “that doesn’t work for me that way”. Make the effort to find another way that suits your THOUGHTS and FEELINGS better, because those thoughts and feelings affect your inner spirit, probably more than you realize.
If another is offended by your lack of compromise, that is a good indication of that individual’s intention, which in my opinion is not in your best interest. Anyone who has yours and their best interests in mind is going to be willing to find an alternative that works for both of you, which speaks volumes of their respect for themselves and for you.
How do you take back your power if you’ve been giving it away for so long? I wish I had a simple, quick fix answer for this but it requires personal reflective work. Looking back, finding where you let go/gave away your personal power and determining how that change manifested in your life.
Finding where things changed is the start, after that it’s finding out why it changed, what changed in you that let this happen and how do you get back into your power?
When you approach these questions you are already half way there because acknowledgement and acceptance are the first steps. Finding out where the disconnect was that caused this change and repairing that will help guide your power back to you. Learning what the triggers are that cause you to disconnect and compromise yourself is the key to never losing your power again.
Most of the issues that cause changes like these are connected to your emotions and while emotions are not easily controlled they can be managed. Understanding how your emotions react and learning to recognize your triggers will be your best asset for that management so you don’t lose or give away your personal power to others ever again.
Once you’ve identified all of these aspects, the healing begins and your power returns.
If at any time you feel like your power is slipping, check in with yourself, go to friends or family who can help boost your energetic levels back to where they should be.
Always remember that you deserve to be happy, anyone that tries to dispel that doesn’t necessarily need to be a part of your life. Those that have your best intentions in mind will always promote your higher self and inspire you to go toward what makes you happy while walking alongside you.
Letting go of people or things that no longer have a positive place in your life is your way of saying “I am doing what I need to do to make my life positive and fulfilling”.
Only YOU can make that change and if you are feeling less than inspired I believe it’s a change YOU need to make.
Shelley Hallmark 