Tag Archives: self-care

Getting to Know YOU!

Breaking Down Your Own Walls to Discover the Person Within!

If you take the time to learn about those you aspire to know or spend time with why is it that you don’t take the time to love and learn about yourself? 

Peeling back the layers to find, understand, nurture and inspire the spirit within is an essential part of Self-Care that affects all aspects of your Self Influenced Behaviours.

Self-Image – How do you see yourself?

  • Whether you realize it or not, how you really see yourself is what you project to the world, if you are happy or unhappy others will see it and sometimes feel it.  We all have a distinctive energy around us that can either feel warm, cold or some variation in between and it either attracts or deters those who come near.  Even if you have a protective armor or wall around you that is preventing others from getting in and hurting you, remember it is also keeping them out and preventing them from knowing the real you.

Self-Pride – Where have you set the bar?

  • Your approach to everything in life will be affected by how much value you place on your personal ethics.  You know where your strengths and weaknesses are, continuous improvement of self feeds and nourishes your self-pride which in turn builds confidence, that confidence is characterized by your personal belief that you are limited by nothing and open to everything.

Self-Respect – What are your boundaries?

  • The big question here is how many liberties are you willing to give others in their desire to take what they can from you without giving anything back?  Boundaries aren’t just to let others know how far they can push you but to let everyone know how much you value yourself.  In the past I have allowed my boundaries to be stretched beyond what felt comfortable for me because saying no felt like I was hurting someone’s feelings but what felt worse was knowing that I was compromising my boundaries and teaching that person that taking advantage of me was Ok.

Self-Reflection – Why do you do the things you do?

  • Reflection is your best source for tapping in to who you once were at a time when you liked yourself and it is possible to find your way back to those thoughts, behaviours and boundaries that defined and shaped your life then.  Through self-reflection I have discovered many things I hadn’t realized or been tuned into at the time which has brought me a greater sense of awareness.  Awareness only transpires when you keep your heart and mind open, the hunger to learn and evolve is the wind beneath that carries you into this phase.  Often the reason for self-reflection is out of necessity because somewhere along the way you know you’ve gone off course.  Sometimes so far that anything other than where you currently are is better than continuing in what you know is the wrong direction, backtracking helps you to identify where you’ve made a wrong turn so you can find your way onto a path that is more positive for you.

We are each a small part of the universal source, interconnected on some level or altered state of consciousness.  We aren’t always in that altered state of consciousness but through it we experience a heightened sense of awareness towards ourselves and others.  Taking the time to step outside yourself every once in a while can help you to gain clarity when times are difficult and provide you with insight when your prospects seem skewed.

Self-Sabotage – Who are you trying to ruin?

  • Sometimes immersing yourself in negative familiarity is more counter-productive then you realize because while you may feel you are progressing forward you are actually suspending your evolution.  Stepping into or maintaining such familiarity may seem easier than addressing the root of a personal issue and then again sometimes you don’t realize there is a personal issue to address because your conscious mind is providing you with enough distraction to hide from facing what may be overwhelming and/or painful.

When you allow your past to have life in your present it’s like carrying a backpack around with you 24 hours a day that contains everything you haven’t dealt with and you bring it into every interaction and relationship.  You may not actually be showing others the contents but the unresolved issues are displayed within every action and reaction.  You can’t change your past, you can only learn, heal and grow past that which has challenged and changed you.

Take notice of how certain events and circumstances affect you, be mindful of how you cope, whether it is an internal or external reaction and remember Self-Care for yourself is necessary!  Breaking down your own walls to get to really know and understand the person within will positively enhance all areas of your life and help you to shape a future that benefits not just you but everyone around you.

self care


Posted by on March 12, 2014 in Blog


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Trying to Find my Balance Again!

During a Time that Feels Wildly Unbalanced

The spectrum of emotions that has plagued my mind for the last month and a half has definitely taken its toll by making me feel completely unbalanced and out of sync.

As I wrote about in one of my recent posts “Very Challenging Time”, A my daughter’s Scoliosis journey presented detours that I hadn’t expected.  Almost a month after her surgery she was finally released from the hospital and I felt positive about the road to recovery from there but what I hadn’t foreseen was that we would be back at the hospital 4 days later because one of the infections she had (unrelated to the surgery) had come raging back with a vengeance.

The time period that evolved when the doctors were trying to determine the source of her sickness was terrifying, to say the least, they covered everything and I mean everything!  As a parent it is difficult to have to sit back and watch them work especially if your child is stressed by it, as I had said my daughter recently had Scoliosis surgery with rods and screws fused to her spine and only a month ago.  I realize that they have to determine the source of her sickness but I have to admit it was extremely difficult to watch them push up and down her spine to see if she flinched anywhere.  I’m thinking “of course it bothers and hurts her some, what would anyone expect after only a month given the significance of the surgery”, I kept asking them to call someone from that team of specialists because they all knew her case intimately but until they had determined that was the cause that wasn’t going to happen.  As I said I realize they weren’t trying to hurt her and wanted to make sure they checked every avenue so they could get her the appropriate treatment but it was really difficult to watch and as I write this it makes me feel like I’m making this all about me but as a parent, their pain and discomfort feels 100 times yours.  You could throw anything in my path and I can handle it but it’s amazing how anything to do with our children can bring us to our knees and provoke such a feeling of helplessness.confined by walls you build yourself

After 48 hours of constant testing, poking, prodding and only 1 ½ hours sleep for my daughter it was finally determined that one of previous infections had not been fully eliminated so course of treatment followed and after a few days she started to respond and get back to being herself and after another 8 days in the hospital she has been released again.

I’m trying to find my balance again but it’s difficult because I feel like the threat of this re-occurring is looming around me and I am hesitant to allow myself into the space of feeling confident that things are going to be Ok.  The slightest instance of any symptom for pretty much anything out there keeps terrorizing my mind and I know that this is only possible because I am basically “running on empty”.  As much as the first round scared me, the second round has completely drained me and severely challenged my inner strength and faith.  I know it will come back but it may take me some time to trust it.  I also know I’m lucky and blessed that her prognosis is positive but my mind won’t allow me to fully embrace that yet.

There are many parents out there with children that are sick and the source is unknown or the source is known and the outcome is not positive and I can’t even imagine what life must be like for them or how they manage to deal with it daily.  I can only offer my sincerest compassion for the roller coaster ride I’m sure they are constantly on, as with everything (including health challenges) there are ups and down, good days and bad days.  I can only hope and pray for those that are currently in the midst of these kinds of challenges that the good days fill their hearts with enough love to carry them through the bad ones.

As I always say “Everything happens for a reason” and one of my beliefs is that we don’t go through difficult challenges for no reason.  There is a purpose, and I’ve always believed that we are put through difficulty to make us stronger for something that is to come in our future.  Even though I know my difficulty at this time isn’t as difficult as others it makes me wonder what is ahead that requires me to develop as much strength as it’s taking me to get through this.

I have, am and always will be about “all things positive” and I know I will get back there but this dip at this time has set me back more than I could have ever imagined or predicted.  The positive aspect of this experience is that it has increased my understanding, empathy and admiration for those that power through these difficult experiences with great integrity and strength of character.

strong person

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Posted by on September 24, 2013 in Blog


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