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Something’s Gotta Give!

01 Jun

When You’ve Gone Too Far Down the Rabbit Hole

Ever get to the point where you feel so overwhelmed in every area of life that the only resolve seems to be that “something’s gotta give?”

Life gets busy and sometimes you’re so hectic that you dig yourself so far down the rabbit hole you can’t see which way is up or out.

This kind of stress puts a significant strain on every part of your mental, spiritual and physical health which can manifest in a variety of ways producing outcomes that can challenge the state of your mindset. I’ve had experiences that have been extremely challenging and at times have caused me moments of what felt like extreme anxiety, finding an effective way to cope can be difficult but very necessary.

There are many areas of life that can cause stress; work, money, health, family, etc., and even though these are all valid stress points in life they can take a greater toll when you push back against what is meant to be. I believe that everything we go through happens for a reason, whether difficult or not, they are all there to help you gain a greater understanding and connection to your life and everyone in it.

The duress of this emotional baggage when constantly compiled on the soul eventually must find a way out and be purged, whatever outlet that may be through. For me, I write and that seems to be a great form or therapy because purging emotional stress is usually done through some form of communication to simply “get things off your chest”. Writing or journaling can be an effective outlet especially if you do not have someone to talk things through with to help you release it.

Alternatively it may not be that you don’t have someone there to talk to but rather some things just don’t feel like they can be communicated and/or articulated, sometimes you just have to find your own process for letting things go, put your faith in a higher power so that you can free yourself from that which is holding you back.

dark place

Not everything difficult is there to bring you down, maybe sometimes to humble you a bit if your ego gets a little too inflated, but ultimately there is some form or wisdom attached and if you don’t embrace it you’re going to keep going through it until you finally do. I don’t believe that these lessons are meant to break you but rather break you open so not only are you vulnerable but there are no walls left to resist what you are meant to learn and grow towards.

I think everyone has the moments of feeling despair but those moments are only part of the process and not supposed to continue on forever. At some point if you aren’t transitioning toward the next phase it means you are resisting and I know that resisting feels like the natural response and for a while it serves its purpose by allowing you the armor that protects while you digest and adjust.

Once you reach the point of when you are no longer able to continue your resistance this is when the lesson breaks through, it is the emotional equivalent of “rock bottom for the soul” because there is finally nothing more standing in the way of the healing that is now able to come through. Following healing comes enlightenment, “aha” moments and a stronger feeling of connection to not only the universe but all the people in it.

The humbling aspect of lessons is that they teach you gratitude, appreciation, compassion and empathy for others, what is released is judgement, anger, entitlement and egotistical rule.

Sometimes I think you can see what phases of these kinds of processes (experiences) others are in because it’s almost like those that are at the most wound up are almost at the beginning and on the verge of being broken open and those that breathe love and lack of judgement are just coming through the end.

Whatever phase you may feel you are in during a dark or difficult experience know that the only way to get through is to let go of your resistance. Know that there is wisdom, clarity and peace of mind on the other side of the storm but only if you allow it to crash and bang when it needs to, take cover and when the light starts to come back know that you won’t be the same person that went in.

All things happen when they are meant to and how they are meant to, you will never miss something that is truly meant to be in your life it will always finds its way to you and in the right time.

same person from the storm

 
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Posted by on June 1, 2015 in Blog

 

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Trying to Find my Balance Again!

24 Sep

During a Time that Feels Wildly Unbalanced

The spectrum of emotions that has plagued my mind for the last month and a half has definitely taken its toll by making me feel completely unbalanced and out of sync.

As I wrote about in one of my recent posts “Very Challenging Time”, A my daughter’s Scoliosis journey presented detours that I hadn’t expected.  Almost a month after her surgery she was finally released from the hospital and I felt positive about the road to recovery from there but what I hadn’t foreseen was that we would be back at the hospital 4 days later because one of the infections she had (unrelated to the surgery) had come raging back with a vengeance.

The time period that evolved when the doctors were trying to determine the source of her sickness was terrifying, to say the least, they covered everything and I mean everything!  As a parent it is difficult to have to sit back and watch them work especially if your child is stressed by it, as I had said my daughter recently had Scoliosis surgery with rods and screws fused to her spine and only a month ago.  I realize that they have to determine the source of her sickness but I have to admit it was extremely difficult to watch them push up and down her spine to see if she flinched anywhere.  I’m thinking “of course it bothers and hurts her some, what would anyone expect after only a month given the significance of the surgery”, I kept asking them to call someone from that team of specialists because they all knew her case intimately but until they had determined that was the cause that wasn’t going to happen.  As I said I realize they weren’t trying to hurt her and wanted to make sure they checked every avenue so they could get her the appropriate treatment but it was really difficult to watch and as I write this it makes me feel like I’m making this all about me but as a parent, their pain and discomfort feels 100 times yours.  You could throw anything in my path and I can handle it but it’s amazing how anything to do with our children can bring us to our knees and provoke such a feeling of helplessness.confined by walls you build yourself

After 48 hours of constant testing, poking, prodding and only 1 ½ hours sleep for my daughter it was finally determined that one of previous infections had not been fully eliminated so course of treatment followed and after a few days she started to respond and get back to being herself and after another 8 days in the hospital she has been released again.

I’m trying to find my balance again but it’s difficult because I feel like the threat of this re-occurring is looming around me and I am hesitant to allow myself into the space of feeling confident that things are going to be Ok.  The slightest instance of any symptom for pretty much anything out there keeps terrorizing my mind and I know that this is only possible because I am basically “running on empty”.  As much as the first round scared me, the second round has completely drained me and severely challenged my inner strength and faith.  I know it will come back but it may take me some time to trust it.  I also know I’m lucky and blessed that her prognosis is positive but my mind won’t allow me to fully embrace that yet.

There are many parents out there with children that are sick and the source is unknown or the source is known and the outcome is not positive and I can’t even imagine what life must be like for them or how they manage to deal with it daily.  I can only offer my sincerest compassion for the roller coaster ride I’m sure they are constantly on, as with everything (including health challenges) there are ups and down, good days and bad days.  I can only hope and pray for those that are currently in the midst of these kinds of challenges that the good days fill their hearts with enough love to carry them through the bad ones.

As I always say “Everything happens for a reason” and one of my beliefs is that we don’t go through difficult challenges for no reason.  There is a purpose, and I’ve always believed that we are put through difficulty to make us stronger for something that is to come in our future.  Even though I know my difficulty at this time isn’t as difficult as others it makes me wonder what is ahead that requires me to develop as much strength as it’s taking me to get through this.

I have, am and always will be about “all things positive” and I know I will get back there but this dip at this time has set me back more than I could have ever imagined or predicted.  The positive aspect of this experience is that it has increased my understanding, empathy and admiration for those that power through these difficult experiences with great integrity and strength of character.

strong person

 
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Posted by on September 24, 2013 in Blog

 

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Stress for Less!

20 Feb

Can You Afford It?

I think we all can, it’s just a matter of figuring out what strategy works best for each of us as individuals because what works for one doesn’t always work for another.  Everything that goes on in our daily lives can be considered some level of stress, the more you have on your plate, the more you have to manage and that can create stress.  Remember when you were young and the most you had to manage was who’s house you were going to play at?

Even though we have more technology to help us manage it all, we still even have to manage the time we put into that as well.  Crazy!  That’s like stress upon stress, no wonder some of us are so frazzled at the end of the day.

stressed

I have been told that I normalize stress, which actually seems to work in my favor because that adaptation provides me with the benefit of not having my stress affect my overall health and well-being.  It no longer feels like stress because I have altered my perception which has in turn allowed me to adapt faster than I would have in the past.

How do you deal with the everyday stress in your life?  Is it healthy and productive or dragging you down?

Stress can affect us medically in so many different ways and just as we are all unique, so is our internal reactions to stress.  Stress starts on the inside, it’s an emotion that can wreak havoc on your entire system and alter your quality of life either mildly or drastically.

Stress SymptomsSome of the ways I have noticed the effects of stress are:

–          Internalizing:  Holding in your stress is similar to holding in any other emotion.  It can only be bottled up for so long before it blows up and depending on what your breaking point is it could have either mild or major negative results.

–          Vocalizing:  Definitely not holding in stress but rather allowing it to have its effect in the current moment.  How beneficial this is depends on how you are vocalizing your disdain, whether it is very negative or if it is productive but healthy.

–          Projecting:  I believe that when someone is projecting it is a result of holding in the emotion and the negativity of holding it in is getting close to reaching its boiling point.  The projecting could be for a period of time before the final blow-up occurs and that is because the internalization method can no longer sustain it.

–          Physically:  Stress can cause mock symptoms of many different health issues and can even have your doctor wondering what’s going on.  I have experienced this dilemma and my doctor tried so many different medications for a year and was still stumped.  It wasn’t until I changed my physical presence in a situation that everything magically went away.

You could put two people in the same exact situation and each of them would experience it differently, same goes for how that situation affected them emotionally.  So it’s not far off to know that the stress and level of it would be completely different which is why it would be so difficult for a doctor to try to follow any guideline, the diagnosis for one may not or won’t be the same for the other.

I believe one of the healthiest ways to deal with any stress in your life is talking it out with a trusted friend because that friend may be able to help you work through it, whether that is just by listening or offering ideas and/or solutions to eliminate or at least reduce it.  Honestly just being able to talk it out with a friend has been my best defence against stress as well you get the opinion of someone who isn’t as close to your stress as you are.

Another healthy outlet for stress is humor, if you can find the humor in most situations it eases the level of stress, maybe not fully but enough to make it more manageable at times.  Plus a good dose of roaring laughter does relieve stress and tension, even if it’s only for a moment.

laughter heart

 

 
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Posted by on February 20, 2013 in Blog

 

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Changing Your Thoughts

03 Apr

Changes Your Reality

One of my favorite quotes was said by Wayne Dyer:

When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change.”     –  Wayne Dyer

I’ve actually tried this and it really worked, the circumstance I was applying it to was at my workplace.  It wasn’t that I had a huge dilemma with a co-worker we just kind of rubbed each other the wrong way.  Much time has passed since changing how I was looking at things with this particular situation and I’ve come to realize that maybe the reason for my co-workers disassociation was caused by the disassociation I was projecting.  Oddly enough now, this co-worker is someone I really like, admire and respect and all it took was to change that around was to change how I was looking at things.

When you first try this it may feel odd ( I think mostly because it takes more energy to resist the natural flow ) but you will find that whatever you are projecting outward is what you will receive back so it makes sense that if you change that projection then what you get back will also change.

What I have to throw into the mix this week is  – “what if I am emotionally connected to the circumstance, how do I then change how I am looking at it?” 

When I am emotionally connected to a situation it can be very difficult to shift my thinking because it’s clouded by the emotional attachment.   The only way I can think of is to take away the emotion factor by disconnecting at the source, and this is not easy to do and I’m not so sure that is something I am able to do or if it’s the right thing to do.  It sounds simple in theory but when you get right down to it, it’s a lot harder to take on.  The way we really connect with others is emotionally based and if you’re already connected then how do you disconnect.  We aren’t robots, we don’t have switches we flip, we are energetic beings that sense and feel but if a circumstance is causing you stress or hurts you emotionally then removing yourself from it is the only solution.

My usual approach to any dilemma is to weigh out my options, kind of a like a pros and cons list.  This gives me a visual and when I write things out it makes it easier for me to come up with the best solution or plan.  This is an ongoing process for me, I’m not sure that I’ve found the best solution yet for myself or for anyone facing this dilemma.

The only solution I have is when a situation or circumstance is causing you stress or hurt then sometimes the answers are to look within.  As in the circumstance above, I was initially causing the discrepancy I was having and had I realized that sooner I would have changed my thinking around much earlier and saved myself the discomfort.  What I know now is that when I do have any issues, I start with me.

If you need to search further then maybe the answers can be found by talking things over with a close friend who can help you to find the answers you need individually.  Sometimes in doing that you will find the answers much easier than trying to figure it out on your own.

I’m going to leave you with Wayne Dyer’s daily affirmation which is a very significant ending to this blog.

Monitor Your Inner Dialogue

Recognize that what you think about, expands. Monitor your inner dialogue, and match your thoughts to what you want and what you intend to create.

 
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Posted by on April 3, 2012 in Blog

 

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Emotional or Physical?

15 Feb

Healthy Living

Our own personal health is dependent on how we are feeling both physically and emotionally.  We always pay attention to our physical health but sometimes neglect ourselves emotionally and our emotions can directly affect our physical health.  You can go to the doctor when you don’t feel right but if it’s something emotionally based that is affecting your overall health the doctor won’t be able to find what is wrong.  Our emotions are connected to everything we do whether it’s positive or negative. 

–          When we are feeling happy it is reflected in our faces, our speech, our aura and we usually feel warm and lightweight inside.

–          When we are feeling unhappy it is also reflected in the same areas but we don’t feel warm inside, depending on the source of the unhappiness and our own unique bodies that feeling inside can range anywhere from stress to depression.

Awareness of your overall health and state of mind is the key to battling any emotional setback that may be trying to inhabit your body.

 

I think we all know when something is wrong or doesn’t feel right.  Whether you go to the doctor to treat something that is physical or you identify the emotional predator trying to wreak havoc, still, the key is awareness.

I’ve actually had the experience of having something emotional (stress) affect my life in a physical (medical) way.  I can tell you the doctors were completely stumped, as was I.  It was only when I unknowingly made a few environment changes that the source of my emotional ailment was cured, of course this led to the physical ailment completely disappearing.

You can’t even imagine how surprised I was, as well as my doctor, it was only then that I fully realized how much our emotional health contributes to our physical health.

Physical and Emotional well-being should be a very important part of our lives and something that we give much attention to because when we are affected we also affect outwardly to everyone around us.

It was something I had never given thought to in the past but something I pay very close attention to now.

 
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Posted by on February 15, 2012 in Blog

 

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Who’s the adult here?

19 Oct
Who’s the adult here?

I may be the parent of a special needs child, but without her I might never have known or fulfilled my true potential. She has taught me so much about myself and has helped shape me into the person I am today. I am truly blessed to have her in my life and especially blessed to be her mother.


When it comes to our children we all want to help guide them, but with special needs children I believe they guide us.
My daughter guides me in little ways like showing me that she will be ready to try or do something, in a way that’s better for her, in her own time. I think we all get caught up in the timelines of what’s expected and try to apply these to our special needs children; however, they have their own timelines, and they will remind us that we need to slow down and appreciate the journey. The phrase “everything in due time” captures that perfectly.
The most significant lessons I have learned because of my daughter are patience and tolerance. I can honestly say I had very little of either before she came into my life. I have learned to have a greater appreciation for the bigger picture. It’s the little things in our lives that become the most significant as we progress through life.


I started to write for a few reasons:
1) The need to have a career that was better suited to the lifestyle needed when you have a special needs child. They require a significant amount of hands-on care, and it’s best for them progress-wise if that care is provided by one of their pillars (parents are our biggest support and strengths, so I refer to our parents as pillars). Our children have the most success with progressing through life when their pillars are very present in the process.
2) I have always loved writing and have always written in a journal. Writing helps to alleviate the everyday things that happen in our lives. The phrase “getting things off your chest” is exactly what writing does for me, and I wanted to encourage others to try that outlet and know they always had options through my book. I want to make a difference in this world, and what better way to do it than on a more global scale? Books reach many different people at various times in their lives.
I found that not only did my writing provide me with a stronger sense of inner peace, but it also gave me a greater appreciation for my journey. This inner peace has given me an even stronger connection with my daughter, and the two of us have come to a form of contentment together.

 
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Posted by on October 19, 2011 in Blog

 

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