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Tag Archives: peace

No One Else Completes You

You Become Whole on your Ownyou are the answer

Finding yourself – You don’t need anything from anyone else to be whole or complete, that comes from you and you alone.  No one thing or person can fix your life that comes from finding a peace and contented balance that meets your specific needs.  No two people are alike and what one person may view as a perfectly content life may not be the same view for another which is why when you are trying to find yourself and your peace it’s important to listen to your inner voice so you know when you’ve found it and when you haven’t.  The vision is different for everyone, different things make each of us tick and believe me your gut knows when you are avoiding the truth and walking down the wrong path.

Most issues or stumbling blocks we have are rooted from something deeper within us whether that is something that was modelled, learned or a defense mechanism it creates a habitual behaviour pattern that we tend to continually repeat until we either learn the lesson on our own or hit the wall that forces us to.

Certain events in our lives can keep us stuck in a perpetual cycle from the moment an event affected us and if it happens at an early age then it can keep you from developing past it mentally.  Something difficult or emotionally challenging can stunt your personal growth and maturity so much so that it keeps a part of your psyche in that age or timeframe in some form and even though you grow and age an emotional part of you stays at that point until you find acceptance.  Resisting acceptance whether you are doing it consciously or subconsciously it can have a negative effect on the development of the peace and contented balance that you seek.  The reason most of us don’t address or try to resolve these stumbling blocks is because either we aren’t aware of where they are rooted from or it’s much too painful to embrace but embracing your pain is the only way to deal and move forward toward finding yourself and feeling whole.

Within every difficult experience there are the usual stages similar to the grieving process that you need to move through in order to move on.  If you don’t allow yourself to process through each one of these stages you get stuck in that place until you pick-up where you left off, accept and deal so you can heal and move on.

Most often we think that it requires something externally to fill the void, like once I get that, achieve that or get there I’ll be happy.  Once you get there you find that the feeling of wholeness still eludes you and you still feel the void.  It takes really honest inner reflection to find the root of any blockage, I don’t know of any blockage that has ever been a good one, they are called blocks for a reason.  Blocks are our own inner spirit’s way of saying “I Don’t Like That” and “I’m not going to accept that”, so our inner spirit will revolt and keep showing us that block until we recognize it and address it.

When you are avoiding addressing a blockage it is usually because there is a certain amount of pain, shame or guilt that you either aren’t ready to feel or you believe you can suppress.  Unfortunately you can only suppress something for so long, at some point it will surface in some way or form whether that is the referred effect of lashing out at others or shutting yourself off.

When you aren’t aware of the root of a blockage or believe that you know what it is you may spend a lot of time going in the wrong direction.  I’ve done this so I know that you will continue ending up with the same result over and over until you realize what the actual root cause is, and most likely it is something completely different and in an entirely different area than you thought.  I didn’t realize until later reflecting that I had overcompensated in some areas just trying to level out where I thought my stumbling block was and when the light bulb finally went on, it was practically staring me in the face.  So simple that I should have realized it sooner but also so simple I thought it couldn’t be that easy.

I think we often feel that we know what the fix is and that is the first of many falsehoods that the ego will lead you through.  The answers to our biggest questions lie within and only our inner voice, our gut instinct knows the answers we need to find but it’s our ego that leads us down the wrong path because of course, it’s ego, it thinks it knows best, turns out our ego actually knows the least!  The ego is there to deter you from finding your peace because the more peace you find the smaller your ego becomes.

Finding yourself starts within, starting within will open more doors than you knew were there and the more doors you open the more contentment you will find.

listen to your inner voice

 
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Posted by on July 31, 2013 in Blog

 

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Merry Christmas!

Best Wishes to All for a Very Happy Holiday Season!

Peace, Health & Happiness

Enjoy your Christmas

 
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Posted by on December 25, 2012 in Blog

 

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We Are Who We Are!

Don’t Let Anyone Else’s Opinion Define Who You Are

I used to be very aware and very conscious of what others opinions were of me, a little too conscious of it actually, and at times I still am, but I’ve realized that those opinions do not define me.  It’s those closest to me that really know who I am and it is their opinions and advice that have the biggest impact.  I can’t control every comment or opinion that comes my way but I can choose to not allow it to affect me negatively or to change my life direction.

No matter what the circumstances or environment we all have the choice to live either positively or negatively.  I choose positive and happy over negative and unhappy easily every time.  I know that is very easy to say but can be very difficult to do for some.  I’ve always had a positive outlook on life and I’ve always been very motivated, driven and impatient to get to the next phase.

Although it’s the “in between” where the tests, challenges and lessons that come our way are meant to teach, to build and to shape us into who we are meant to be. 

Challenges don’t just reveal character they build it.

I believe that each milestone of our age we can discover many things:

1)      A new understanding to old problems

2)      A greater focus on the bigger picture

3)      A more direct approach in life

4)      Less concern with quantity, more quality

5)      Deeper form of Contentment, Balance and Peace

 

I always used to think that I needed to get everything I wanted done when I was younger and now that I’m a little older I see the insignificance of that belief.  It’s just not my focus anymore and there are so many other things that I’ve developed an appreciation for that I never would have thought possible.

I spent my 20’s playing around, doing whatever I wanted, when I wanted.

I spent my 30’s trying to get my grounding and figure out where I was going, who I was.

I’m now in my 40’s and have found that all the things I was concerned with in my 20’s and 30’s seem so irrelevant now.  I’ve learned that my greater focus is on achieving all the levels of Contentment and enjoying all the great people in my life.  I’m looking forward to the many more impactful people I will encounter as I go along my path.  I always hear from others that have experienced more life than myself about how much better it gets as we get older and seeing how content they are encourages me to look forward to it.

 
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Posted by on July 17, 2012 in Blog

 

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Enhancing the Faith

Another Level of Contentment

I thought that I had found my fullest form of Contentment when  I finished writing my 1st book Finding the Balance but as it turns out I had only just stepped onto that path.  When I finished it I felt a certain level of contentment, the key word here is level, something I have come to understand and recognize after some time has passed.  When it comes to personal growth the period of time it takes is different for everyone because of our individuality and because we all learn in our own time.  What I should have considered is that with all areas of learning there are many levels and varying degrees and I had only thought I reached full contentment because I felt more empowered, engaged and aware.  Little did I know that there was much more, much better to come.

I now know that what I had experienced then was a level of contentment because I now feel that I have moved to another level.  The only way I can describe this level is – it feels to be an unshakable faith in myself, where I am, where I’m going and that all things will occur as they are destined to along the way.  This level of contentment reinforces my belief that everything (positive and negative) happens for a reason.  Both are meant to teach and bring us to a higher level of ourselves and without them we may remain stuck in a never ending cycle of frustration and confusion. 

If I allow the little things to bother me along the way I am allowing my ego to inhibit my own growth cycle and that is not something I want to do in any way.  Of course there are still times when something I did not expect occurs but my reactive behavior to these unexpected occurrences is starting to adopt a more negotiable mind and I am approaching things from a far more relaxed state of being.   I’m not entirely sure if this is something that comes with age, experience, time or all of these but I welcome it because it’s providing me with such a unique, profound and irreplaceable  form of happiness.   Within this level I have also discovered a greater passion, a greater reason and a greater experience within my purpose.

Part of the change is my focus and where I am directing my attention to and where I’m taking it away from.  I’m directing more towards where I want to go, what I want to achieve, how I want to get there and what I want to project along the way.

I’m retracting it from the trivial areas, areas that my ego contributes to.  We all have an ego, the hardest thing to do, at times, is to keep that ego in check.  It can divert our minds into focusing on things that shouldn’t really bother us.  I think we’ve all had one of those days when we got dragged down to a level of communication and behavior that we later regret, that’s our ego winning the battle.  It can wreak havoc within our lives when we allow it to carry our thoughts away from the bigger picture. 

This really is something that comes from within and I’ve found that in everything I do and commit to if my subconscious isn’t in it 100% then I won’t succeed.  I wish I could offer a “one size fits all” process that would help everyone to get to their own “greater meaning of their life”.  My own journey to has had its share of ups and downs along the way but knowing how far I’ve come and having faith that there is so much more on the way makes it entirely worth it.

There is a quiet strength and resilience hidden with the state of Contentment.  My personal peace and happiness have become the most important state of being that I covet.

 
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Posted by on May 8, 2012 in Blog

 

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Purpose & Passion

Every Obstacle or Setback Creates an Opportunity

It’s hard to believe that this would be true but it is and believe me I’ve done my fair questioning of “Are you kidding me?”  It is usually through difficulty that we find out what we are really made of and what we really can accomplish.  The question to ask when you are in the midst of difficulty is do I want to find a positive outcome and do better or do I want to look for an excuse not to try and do the same or worse.  It’s the balance of positive versus negative and that can be a battle all on its own.  Some have to work harder than others to find the positive side but I can assure you it’s totally worth it.

Of course it is easiest not to try, there is no effort required for that route at all and unfortunately that makes it the most travelled road but definitely not the most pleasant, positive or purposeful.

I know everyone out there has the desire to have a better life and anything worth having is definitely worth working for.  If things were too easy they would be so attainable that they likely wouldn’t be desired.  This is true in taking the path of “not to try”, there is absolutely no effort required in this route and I’m quite sure that there isn’t one person out there that wants to have nothing, no one says when they are a child that my life goal is “not to try”.  Every child has a dream and just because we are now adults doesn’t mean that you’ve passed the point of attaining a goal you made as a child, teen or young adult.  The only difference is that you just alter the timeline, instead of achieving something by the time you were 25 you now achieve it by the time you’re 35 , 45, 55, etc.  The only reason you can’t achieve something should be because you are no longer on the earthly plane, other than that being an obstacle, there are none.  We only create obstacles to make ourselves feel better for not doing something we really wanted to do and at the end of the day you still don’t feel better.

Some of my biggest setbacks have created the enlightenment that I needed to guide me to my greater passion and purpose.

I can honestly say without a doubt that I wouldn’t change any of the events that led me to where I am today.  Of course some of them were so far from ideal that I was questioning the greater reasoning  behind them at the time, but all of them I can now honor and appreciate because they led me to my passion which then led me to my purpose.  The way I was able to find my purpose was  within, I started listening to my inner spirit.  It had always been whispering to me and I found that it was only when I started to listen and pay attention that it became louder and stronger.

My purpose has led me to a greater form of contentment, peace and balance which has motivated my desire to stay on this path.

If you are looking for a sign that you deserve to honor your and achieve your innermost desires then this is it.

You ARE worthy!

You CAN achieve whatever you desire!

You CAN live a life with purpose and passion!

DON’T let anyone ever tell you any different!

 
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Posted by on May 1, 2012 in Blog

 

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Look for the Positive

We can’t stop things from changing

Everything happens for a reason, and of course that’s not always helpful when the things that happen don’t feel so good emotionally but what can make that emotion worse is not allowing yourself to find the positives.  I know!  I don’t always see them at the beginning either, in fact sometimes I’m constantly questioning and by doing that I prevent myself from finding the peace and balance that lies in the “in between”.

Luckily for me, anything that isn’t positive feels foreign to me, like a sickness, which is something I just can’t put up with.  My stubbornness to have to experience anything like that for too long definitely outweighs my constant questioning and denial so I always find my positive answers and if I’m lucky it doesn’t take me too long to do that.  First things first though, I think everyone notices when something doesn’t feel right within and I think our gut instinct always knows what it is but sometimes our egos tend to think they know better and brush off our initial instincts.  The best route is to try to change that process as soon as you notice those subtle differences.  At first it may take some time to raise that awareness but after a while it will become second nature and next thing you know you are fighting off those awful emotions and finding the good in the situations.

It’s our emotions that will always take us to different areas of our lives and whether or not we want those emotions sometimes doesn’t matter.  You can’t change the way you feel so maybe you should try to change the way you are seeing something.

There’s no point in hanging on to the negative side of situations and I know that it can be very difficult to find the positive in some of them but it’s always there, and what good does it do to not find it?  You’re not going to feel better in fact you’ll feel worse.

I know I would much rather choose happy!

There are so many positive things that we can look forward to and be inspired by in this world.  Sure there are also negative things too but I would rather feed the positive and spread that.  The more we diffuse and push aside the negative the weaker it will get and the less chance it will have of continuing to grow.  It’s what we put out energy into that expands and I would much prefer that what expands for everyone are the positive moments.

It only takes one kind moment to change the course of someone’s day for the better.  If we were all striving to be that person imagine how different our days would be.

 
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Posted by on February 7, 2012 in Blog

 

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The “aha” Moment

Peace + Balance = Contentment

It took me so long to get to the point of Contentment, Peace and Balance.  Not because it was something that takes a long period of time to achieve but because it takes letting go and allowing those “aha” moments to shine through.  It’s amazing how when you follow the path of least resistance how much it opens the doors to what your life should be.

Everyone has had those “aha” moments, and I personally love them.  I wish every day contained one because I always feel so elated internally when it happens.  It was one of those “aha” moments that sparked me to write my book, all of a sudden all the pieces of the puzzle come together in that very moment and it’s exhilarating!

What follows those moments is peace, balance and ultimately contentment because you’ve solved one of your own life’s mysteries, of course there are many more along our life path to come.

Contentment comes in many different forms but I believe that it’s all about connecting.  When you connect with others on a soul level they can inspire you in ways you didn’t know were possible.

Contentment, for me, came from letting go of things I thought were important and trimming back to the basics.  In today’s busy, material world we become so enmeshed with all these “things” that we think we need but really they clutter our minds, our life and ultimately our Contentment.  I’m not saying have nothing, I’m saying have what brings you contentment. 

When I am in a state of Contentment I find that I have gratitude and appreciation for all that surrounds me, everything is beautiful and wonderful.  I strive to make contentment a permanent fixture within my emotional psyche for all the days not just because it feels great but because it also feels great for everyone around me.  When we project contentment from the inside to outward we are spreading happiness with everyone we come into contact with.  Now this is an emotional “state of being” that is worth spreading around.

My favorite quote that I always strive to meet is one of the “states of being” that provide me with Contentment:

“To Laugh often and much; To win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children; To earn the appreciation of honest critics and endure the betrayal of false friends; To appreciate beauty, to find the best in others; To leave the world a bit better, whether by a healthy child, a garden patch, or a redeemed social condition; To know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived.  This is to have succeeded.”  — Ralph Waldo Emerson

 
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Posted by on November 22, 2011 in Blog

 

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