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Tag Archives: patience

Change is a Gift

Let it Be

Change is inevitable, how you view change is ultimately going to define your state of being, happiness and outlook on life.  Not every change is welcome but every change is necessary because without it you won’t progress or have the opportunity to evolve your level of consciousness.  It is through change that you become more defined or shall I say more refined but you will end up becoming more connected to your world and those in it which is definitely a gift.

I don’t know if there is some cosmic shift going on or not right now, I know the astrology forecasts are always talking about specific shifts but I feel that some kind of change is in the air even though I can’t quite figure out exactly what it is, it feels positive though and hopeful and I sense it will be fulfilling.

The shift itself feels similar to how you feel when you are coming out on the end of some sort of emotional process that you had to work through like that of failure, disappointment or heartbreak because these kinds of experiences change you in ways you wouldn’t have expected, they seem to cause a deep stir in the make-up of who you are.

How do you make it through the transition of tough and emotional experiences like failure, disappointment or heartbreak; are you letting these experiences define you or are you defying the odds you feel are against you to overcome them?  Probably the most soul-crushing experiences because they ultimately alter who you were and from there who you are to become and while the words “growth period” is usually what is used to describe these kinds of experiences it doesn’t ease the challenges or hurt any less.you get to choose

Finding the light at the end of that “oh so long” tunnel sometimes seems non-existent and that is because you are so enmeshed in the grief period that the other side is unseen and unimaginable.  Growth periods take time, patience and your personal understanding in realizing that there isn’t anything wrong with you even though you may feel broken.  Jane Fonda described this particular experience as “not being broken but rather broken open” which I think is the best description because when you are broken open you are fully exposed, fully vulnerable and fully open because there is nothing left to damage and nothing left to give.

This is the key moment to change that is now to become a part of your path, because you have been stripped bare and are open there is no resistance left, there is now room for new and positive experiences to enter your life.  I think how you view each of these experiences is ultimately going to be your guiding force to get you back into your life and feel positive and hopeful about your future.

Sometimes the presence of emotions over failure, disappointment or heartbreak is not existent during a major time of transition but I think the process in getting through it is similar in that you aren’t really sure of what you are doing or where you are going but the need for some kind of change feels imminent.  Balancing a sense of peace and patience (knowing that things will work out in a positive way) when things feel a little scattered or misdirected will be what grounds you.

Failure:  I’ve always been hard on myself and viewed my own personal failure as a huge sign of defeat but in the last 5-10 years I’ve taken on a different view.  I no longer believe it to be failure, instead I’ve come to the understanding that the word failure is the word I had interjected into my experiences because my faith that “everything happens for a reason” and “all things happen as they are meant to” conflict, my faith and failure cannot logically co-exist.  If all things happen as they are meant to then how could it possibly be failure, it would have to be an intended outcome, which I do believe it is.  It is the ego that constantly tries to override the soul and the emotions that our soul relates to us are our signals that the ego is trying to gain control.

Disappointment & Heartbreak:  I think these two are the more heartfelt emotions because they are usually connected to your hopes and dreams.  Everyone gets caught up at one time or another in the fairy tale idealism and why not, there’s a wisp of it in almost everything within our view through magazine, television, books, etc.  I think problems start to arise when the ego tries to control who and what is going on, and of course to make people, places and things that are currently in your life fit into your soul’s hopes and dreams.  As a result disappointment and heartbreak happen because this is not something that is guided by the ego but rather felt by the soul, you can’t rush or fit it.

I really believe that “everything happens for a reason”, I really believe that “all things happen as they are meant to” and I really believe that when the time is right all of that falls into place and not a moment too soon.

Without gratitude for where you are now how could you ever get any further without struggle or resistance while trying to rush the future?  It’s all about allowing your soul to speak, enjoying the moments in between and appreciating what you have in the now.

the experience of gratitude

 
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Posted by on November 2, 2015 in Blog

 

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Wanting to Exhale

It’s How You Breathe!

In the last couple of months I’ve had some challenges that have been hard to handle at certain moments (to say the least) but they have allowed me to step a little bit outside of myself at times so I could observe the plans ahead and the placement of those in my life.  How things come together or apart and how people step in and out of our lives, usually at the right times.  The only words I can think of to describe it all is “weirdly wonderful timing” because even though I know that the universe knows all and the best laid plans don’t always materialize, those that pop in and out of our lives at specific times are all part of the bigger picture/plan, it still blows my mind at how it all plays out.

My daughter had some more challenges in the last couple weeks that seem to be an aftershock-like effect from her surgery, all the trauma and fluctuation of her entire system, of course who wouldn’t?  The body is not meant to have to go through such big changes and especially in such a short period of time but she seems to be finally bouncing back, at least that’s my continued hope and prayer.Never-allow-someone-to-be-your-priority-while-allowing-yourself-to-be-their-option

It’s in the difficult times that you really discover who’s on your team!

I want to let all of those who I know are on my team know that even though you may have thought your support was insignificant it was noticed.  Even though I may have at times said I was ok when I didn’t feel so much that way, the fact that you checked was noticed.  Even though I know I put some of you off for a visit to make sure I was ok, when I definitely wasn’t, I want you to know that it wasn’t because I didn’t want to see you, it was because I couldn’t.  Your compassion was too overwhelming and my emotions were sitting too close to the surface to suppress them and my dignity to maintain my strength was all I had left.

I think when you have the moment to step outside yourself and reflect it’s always a great opportunity.  There is greater clarity outside the confines of our own psyche and it’s in that zone that I believe we can find the answers to questions that have eluded us and the opportunity to find out more about what you are looking for in your life.

I discovered that I had two different life challenges working against each other which weren’t beneficial for my daughter’s recovery process.  I am overly ambitious and wanted to get a plan going that helps her get well in the best way possible.  I’m not a doctor so medically I can’t do anything to make things better but I am her mother so I’m going to try to break down every wall to find a way.  When I get my mind on a direction I take off running but when it comes to something like physical recovery (especially someone else’s recovery), taking off running doesn’t work out so well.  The recovery goes on her timetable, not mine, so I can make all the plans I want for progressing forward but if her system isn’t ready, it isn’t ready, plain and simple.

The other life challenge is patience, which in my opinion, impedes progress for ambition.  I’m sure that there are many people that have been able to find the happy medium for these two to work together but my maternal and protective nature wants to change things for the better for my daughter not later, but now!  If it were me, I would definitely be motivated but not as strongly as I am when it comes to my daughter and of course that’s because for me, it’s her world that matters the most!

One thing I have noticed is that when I’m not gripping so tightly to trying to make things work, they seem to find a different, and usually better, way to just work out.  Like everything just falls into place naturally and I think that is also the universe telling me something; that things will happen naturally if I just let them.

right-on-time

 
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Posted by on November 26, 2013 in Blog

 

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Spring Cleaning in the Fall

A Necessary Form of Healing

There comes a time when you need to clean out the areas of your brain where the stuck tape keeps playing, the tape that keeps you in a perpetual cycle that is out of sync with the Law of Attraction.  As of late my life has been extremely busy and demanding which has caused me to deplete my own levels of tolerance and patience.  When those two areas of my life run low it reduces my ability to fend off the negativity virus.

The negativity virus comes in many forms, not just thoughts but also actions which cause reactions and consequences and even though I know I’ve pushed the boundaries at times, I’ve learned that honest communication and sincere humility can be the positive aspect in changing the direction of that outcome.

I find that when I get in those funks it heightens my desire to “help others see the light”, which in hindsight becomes ridiculous.  I have no right to do that and even though I’ve learned to recognize when those areas are depleted there are times when I don’t catch it quickly enough and that causes me even more inner frustration and that frustration only perpetuates the virus.  I’ve just now realized that I’ve depleted myself and recognized that I’m at the beginning of that path and it’s time to stop!

I call it a negativity virus because it feels like a virus, like the flu it makes you feel like you aren’t yourself, cranky and out of sorts and your immune system is lowered which is the opening negativity needs to get in.

Unfortunately I have really high expectations for myself and falling onto that path, no matter what the reason, just won’t do.  It’s not so much that I feel I’ve failed, I don’t view things as failures but rather opportunities to make adjustments to my liking.  My attitude is very much determined and focused, I know where I want to go and usually I want to get there now!  Needless to say patience and tolerance weren’t my strongest suits when I was younger and over the years I’ve learned to develop them but they are usually the first things to go when the tank starts to run on empty.

people don't forget how you made them feel

I think we all have our moments of weakness and how we handle them or rather correct them is what defines us.  The most important thing that I’ve always been conscious of is to “think before I speak”, some things can’t be unsaid and they are usually the most damaging ones that you want to take back.  Now at the same time I do believe that honesty and sincerity are absolutely essential if you are trying to rectify that kind of accidental communication.

I won’t say I’ve never said something I’ve regretted and at the time I’m quite sure I had the momentary satisfaction of blurting something out but the key word is momentary.  The period of regret for that moment was much longer and the best teacher for learning to “think before I speak”.

So how do I reinstate my levels of tolerance and patience?

Awareness and recognition is the first step, honest reflection is the second step and whatever process it takes for me to recharge my batteries is the third step.

I find that once I’ve become aware and recognized I’m depleted it propels me into the honest reflection stage and rejuvenation usually falls into place shortly after.  The way to deal is different for everyone, whatever works for you to make you feel better is what you should do, especially if you just aren’t feeling like yourself.  If it means you take a “time out” for yourself than that’s what you should do because it’s not fair to you or anyone in your life to deplete yourself.

So for me, I’ll be writing because that is my best outlet for recharging myself and getting my levels of tolerance and patience back where they should be.  I definitely don’t like feeling out of sorts, it doesn’t fit right or feel good and if I’m not operating on the right side of the Law of Attraction then I’m depriving myself of the gifts that accompany positive experiences.

thoughts and alignment

 
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Posted by on September 13, 2013 in Blog

 

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The Road Ahead

Navigating Through Life

How has your road trip been so far?  Have you been able to negotiate the twists and turns?

I’ve heard the comparison of a road map as a reference to our own lives and I can relate.

These are my analogies to travelling the road of life:

–          Construction Zones (A Reminder of Patience – Don’t sweat the small stuff)

–          Soft Shoulders (Sugar Coating Communications – Tell them how you really feel)

–          Yield ( Respecting other’s Opinions & Feelings – We are unique, we all don’t think alike) 

–          Do Not Enter (Crossing Boundaries – know when to walk away)

–          One Way Street (Negative Thinking – Not every obstacle is as big as it seems)

–          Fork in the Road ( Making a Decision – choosing the path that’s right for You)

–          Gravel or Dirt Road (A New Lesson to Learn – Could be a long or short distance, depends on You)

–          Wrong Turn (You’ve Stepped Off your Path – A mistake)

–          Gridlock (Unable to Find Compromise – Only time will reveal)

–          Bridge is Out (Forgive and Forget – Not all mistakes can be repaired, time to move forward)

–          The Runaway Lane (Not Learning a Lesson – Our ego thinking it knows better)

–          Rest Stops (Regaining your Strength – Finding your personal power)

–          Hitchhikers (The People We Allow Into our Life – Positive or Negative)

–          Detours (A New Direction Not Considered – Relying on your gut instincts)

–          The High Road (Don’t Compromise your Integrity – Don’t lower yourself to someone else’s level)

–          All Green Lights (Positive Thinking, natural flow of the Universe)

Some of the various roadblocks that come up in our lives are there for a reason, some are a result of choices made (good or bad), some are there to teach us so we can learn and grow, some are there to serve solely as a “déjà vu” reminder to keep us from straying too far from the main road.

Most of these turns, bumps and challenges are in place to keep us on the straight and narrow, although sometimes we get off course, take a wrong turn and end up on the wrong end of a one-way street. 

  • Sometimes we get ourselves so far off course that our GPS is continually “re-calculating”.
  • Sometimes you end up having to make a complete U-Turn and go back to where you started.
  • Sometimes, you just can’t get there from here!

Not every road leads to a better life but all roads provide us with an opportunity for personal growth.  Along the way we can find great friends, love, passion, purpose and a greater understanding for how impactful positive thinking can be.

The Universe knows where we should be going but we have our own free will to ultimately decide.

 
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Posted by on July 24, 2012 in Blog

 

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Who’s the adult here?

Who’s the adult here?

I may be the parent of a special needs child, but without her I might never have known or fulfilled my true potential. She has taught me so much about myself and has helped shape me into the person I am today. I am truly blessed to have her in my life and especially blessed to be her mother.


When it comes to our children we all want to help guide them, but with special needs children I believe they guide us.
My daughter guides me in little ways like showing me that she will be ready to try or do something, in a way that’s better for her, in her own time. I think we all get caught up in the timelines of what’s expected and try to apply these to our special needs children; however, they have their own timelines, and they will remind us that we need to slow down and appreciate the journey. The phrase “everything in due time” captures that perfectly.
The most significant lessons I have learned because of my daughter are patience and tolerance. I can honestly say I had very little of either before she came into my life. I have learned to have a greater appreciation for the bigger picture. It’s the little things in our lives that become the most significant as we progress through life.


I started to write for a few reasons:
1) The need to have a career that was better suited to the lifestyle needed when you have a special needs child. They require a significant amount of hands-on care, and it’s best for them progress-wise if that care is provided by one of their pillars (parents are our biggest support and strengths, so I refer to our parents as pillars). Our children have the most success with progressing through life when their pillars are very present in the process.
2) I have always loved writing and have always written in a journal. Writing helps to alleviate the everyday things that happen in our lives. The phrase “getting things off your chest” is exactly what writing does for me, and I wanted to encourage others to try that outlet and know they always had options through my book. I want to make a difference in this world, and what better way to do it than on a more global scale? Books reach many different people at various times in their lives.
I found that not only did my writing provide me with a stronger sense of inner peace, but it also gave me a greater appreciation for my journey. This inner peace has given me an even stronger connection with my daughter, and the two of us have come to a form of contentment together.

 
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Posted by on October 19, 2011 in Blog

 

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