I may be the parent of a special needs child, but without her I might never have known or fulfilled my true potential. She has taught me so much about myself and has helped shape me into the person I am today. I am truly blessed to have her in my life and especially blessed to be her mother.
When it comes to our children we all want to help guide them, but with special needs children I believe they guide us.
My daughter guides me in little ways like showing me that she will be ready to try or do something, in a way that’s better for her, in her own time. I think we all get caught up in the timelines of what’s expected and try to apply these to our special needs children; however, they have their own timelines, and they will remind us that we need to slow down and appreciate the journey. The phrase “everything in due time” captures that perfectly.
The most significant lessons I have learned because of my daughter are patience and tolerance. I can honestly say I had very little of either before she came into my life. I have learned to have a greater appreciation for the bigger picture. It’s the little things in our lives that become the most significant as we progress through life.
I started to write for a few reasons:
1) The need to have a career that was better suited to the lifestyle needed when you have a special needs child. They require a significant amount of hands-on care, and it’s best for them progress-wise if that care is provided by one of their pillars (parents are our biggest support and strengths, so I refer to our parents as pillars). Our children have the most success with progressing through life when their pillars are very present in the process.
2) I have always loved writing and have always written in a journal. Writing helps to alleviate the everyday things that happen in our lives. The phrase “getting things off your chest” is exactly what writing does for me, and I wanted to encourage others to try that outlet and know they always had options through my book. I want to make a difference in this world, and what better way to do it than on a more global scale? Books reach many different people at various times in their lives.
I found that not only did my writing provide me with a stronger sense of inner peace, but it also gave me a greater appreciation for my journey. This inner peace has given me an even stronger connection with my daughter, and the two of us have come to a form of contentment together.
Shelley Hallmark 