Monthly Archives: September 2012

No More Seconds For Me!

Don’t Settle for Second Best

The defining moment of either of these for each of us is the intention within when making the conscious choice.

  • Compromise:  An agreement or a settlement of a dispute that is reached by each side making concessions.
  • Sacrifice:  A sacrifice is a loss or something you give up, usually for the sake of a better cause.

Both of these are good choices but only at the right time for you and only for the right reasons.

The questions to ask yourself when you are contemplating either compromise or sacrifice are the genuine reasons behind your consideration.

1)      Do I have all the facts?

2)      Is it because I don’t have the patience to wait?

3)      Is it because I don’t think I deserve any better?

4)      Am I sacrificing one need for another?

I have compromised in the past and each time I’ve done this it hasn’t been a good decision, mostly because the intention for compromising was influenced by either lack of wisdom or lack of faith.

My lack of wisdom was that I did not pay attention or listen to my inner voice, my gut instincts, my soul.  The wisdom I lacked was not recognizing when my inner voice was struggling to be heard and allowing my ego to quiet that inner voice.  The ego can lead us into such turmoil and can do so easily because it overinflates our thoughts into believing a tainted version of the truth.  It’s so important to allow your inner voice to help guide you during important decisions, every time I’ve ignored my inner voice it has turned into a very rude awakening and has set me back significantly.  It’s really hard at the beginning when allowing yourself to hear and listen to your inner voice but once you make that shift, it will become your default and you will hear it more often and much clearer.

My lack of faith was that I did not trust in what I wanted or saw for my future or that it would come into my life when the time was right.  I felt that it was out of my reach or a too big a dream so I decided to settle for what was available and easy to obtain in the now because I had become too impatient to wait or believe.  In settling I found that I still had passion for those bigger dreams and because of that realization I now try to recognize when that is happening so I don’t ever settle again.

I have sacrificed, although in looking back at the past it doesn’t feel so much like sacrifices now because it has taken me in directions that has opened up my world and brought in such great people, opportunities and knowledge.  It seems like sacrifice for me has been more of a leap into a greater unknown that has ultimately been of huge benefit.

Regardless of the reason you need to be at peace with the choices you make and if you’re not then it will keep showing up in your life until you make it right.  The inner voice, gut instinct, soul; no matter how you refer to it, it is what aligns you with your physical body.  If the two are not in sync then it will keep trying to align and the longer you resist the more damage you do to yourself, the more conflict and turmoil you will feel within.

I’ve realized that settling for many different reasons at different times in my life, regardless of the reason I may have had at the time, was never a good enough one and inevitably left me still looking toward what I was initially striving for.

I’ve tried to take advantage of every opportunity whether it has turned out to be a good or bad one because I would rather take the chance so that I don’t spend the rest of my life wondering “what if” and have regret. 

I’ve realized that I want to take on the challenge because then I am at least giving myself the chance to discover if it’s really something I still want to pursue, or it could lead me in a totally different direction that I might have not otherwise discovered.

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Posted by on September 25, 2012 in Blog


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Think Positive, Be Happy

Blue Sky’s Ahead!

Find the silver lining, it’s always there, sometimes you just have to change your view.  Just like looking through a kaleidoscope, it’s constantly changing and although every turn is a new design and different colors, the beauty is in how you view it.

Not everything is as bleak as it seems, it’s all a matter of perception.  I’ve had my moments of not being able to see out of the dark hole I’ve dug myself into because I thought that I had no way out but that was just the illusion I created because I allowed negativity in.  When I take a step back and insist to myself that, “I am going to find the silver lining”, it starts to appear.  A good tool I’ve used is the pros and cons list, once you place in your mind that you are committed to looking for a positive outcome you will find it and chances are you will find more than one good idea on your pros list.  Even though you may have more cons than pros at first, at least you’ve discovered that the options equal a way out.

I know that at times it can be easier said than done, negativity is definitely a tough rut when you are in it but it is essential to your well-being that you find a way to pull yourself out, in my mind negativity is the equivalent to catching a cold or the flu.  Sometimes the negativity cold is mild and goes away in a few days, sometimes the negativity flu lasts a couple of weeks and then you are able to shake it, but sometimes it becomes more substantial and attaches itself like a cyst to your insides.  This is when you have to fight it with everything you’ve got to kick it out of your system, the reason you feel so terrible when negativity has got a hold on you is because it is a sickness and you can’t allow it to stay in your system.

Like I said my first line of defense is the pros and cons list, once I’ve done that I start to progress each of the pros options and gravitate in that direction.  The negativity cannot survive in my positive mindset, it will continue to try to invade my positive mind but as long as I remain strong and keep exploring the pros options it will have no chance except to leave.  It may come back every once in a while but since I’ve developed a process that works for me, it won’t be able to sustain itself.

In progression from the pros and cons list is my use of a vision board to provide me with the daily visualization of my road of positivity.  The vision board coupled with the written options helps my mind to easily see the future unfold as I desire.  I don’t necessarily need to carry around an actual vision board, placing it somewhere that I can see it on a daily basis is enough, although you could also use a notepad and have the visualizations in there and carry that around with you, it may provide you with a stronger sense of positive direction.  At first when I started trying this I did the list and the vision board and I knew that I had the right intentions but I realized that my actions didn’t match them.  I couldn’t just sit around waiting for my life to pick up, I actually needed to make a plan and follow the steps that take me in that direction toward my desired outcome.  It was like I was waiting for Ed McMahon to just come to my door and tell me I’ve won the Publishers Clearinghouse Sweepstakes when I didn’t even enter.  It doesn’t work that way!

Simply stated:  If you’re going to talk the talk, you need to walk the walk!

Negativity gets in much like that of a cold, when your immune system is low due to little sleep and/or being run down you can easily catch a cold.  The same goes for negativity, it gets in when you’ve had a bad day or bad encounter with someone, either scenario provides the opening that negativity needs to flourish, the question is are you going to fan the flames or smother it.

The biggest and most important factor within all of this is the conscious choice to choose happy, choose the positive and stay strong in that choice.  Don’t allow anyone to have any power over your positivity, happiness or your direction in life.


Posted by on September 18, 2012 in Blog


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I Believe!

The Foundation of all that is Possible

Believing in yourself and your dreams is the foundation that builds the reality and it’s the most essential component right from the beginning.  The dreams and desires are the easiest to determine, I think everyone has either a dream job, dream vacation or the entire dream life in mind.  I do not know the percentage of those that realize or do not realize their dreams but I do believe that what separates them are:

–          Belief

–          Courage

–          Determination

I’ve always felt that our belief system at its core is stored within the subconscious mind.  We are awake for a certain amount of hours in a day but when we daydream or sleep we cannot override the thoughts in our subconscious.  If the thoughts within your subconscious are in alignment with your conscious mind and you truthfully believe in you then believing in your dreams won’t be a problem.  If, deep down, you feel you aren’t deserving, for whatever reason, that belief is stored in your subconscious mind and will keep you from realizing your dreams.  Your subconscious is the default, the autopilot, like when you drive somewhere and you arrive at your destination but cannot clearly remember all the turns.  It’s not that your weren’t fully alert while driving but while your conscious mind was thinking about the day ahead your subconscious mind, completely aware, carried on the drive.

When people receive hypnosis perhaps to quit a bad habit or feel more empowered, they are put into an altered state of being (the subconscious) because in there lies the opportunity to re-program.  Same as playing CD’s while sleeping as an alternative to hypnosis.

Our conscious mind is not always aware of the subconscious mind but the subconscious mind is fully aware of the conscious mind so you can still continue to go about your day even when your conscious mind is distracted by the busy thoughts in daily life.

There are many things we do without thinking because they have become “second nature” so we do not hesitate and that is the subconscious mind, it’s like the hard drive of the human being.  For myself I’ve always used the analogy of the subconscious as relating to the old-style Jukebox.  You put the money in and the arm scans until it comes across the correct selected record and pulls it out to play.  The things I remember, I store them in my mind like the Jukebox and when I randomly need that info my brain scans until it finds the correct selected memory and brings it to my conscious mind.

I think everyone has old information, that may be either useless or not, but you still remember it, this is how powerful the subconscious mind is.  Imagine if you program in there your belief in yourself, your desire to succeed and your belief that you can achieve anything you set out to do that you truly have your heart into.

Remember your conscious mind is not always aware of the subconscious mind but the subconscious mind is fully aware of the conscious mind.  This is a very powerful tool you have at your disposal, it doesn’t cost you anything except to feed it your own desires and intentions.

The outcome can be truly fantastic, if you let it.

If you don’t already have your belief in yourself in your subconscious mind then write a new program for yourself.  Write it down and keep it somewhere that you can see it often so that after a while it becomes “second nature” for your subconscious mind.

I’ve attacheda link below to a You Tube video of the song and lyrics to “I Believe” by Yolanda Adams, it’s such a great song, inspiring and motivating.

–          I Believe I Can

–          I Believe I Will

–          I Believe I Know my Dreams are Real


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Posted by on September 11, 2012 in Blog


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It’s All About Your Image

How Healthy is it?

I think everyone at one time or another, or maybe still, has had an unhealthy view of how they perceive themselves when they look in the mirror or step on the scale.  It seems like every aspect of life is incessantly defined and examined through various outlets of media attention highly focused on body image and the labels that are attached to it.

The negative focus on body image that is determining what is and isn’t beautiful is being projected by way of judgement and it’s so very wrong.  We are all individuals, unique only to ourselves, how can one projection of what is beautiful possibly be a one size fits all for everyone, there are distinct pieces of beauty within all of us.  You may have had the moment, as I’ve had, of staring in the mirror or at a picture taken and picking out all the imperfections that you see but not everyone sees those specific imperfections.  That is the part of us that is searching to measure up to the portrayal of “what beauty is” and it only takes one remark that pokes fun at that soft spot and it can possibly send you down the road of hurt and self-loathing, no one should have to endure that.

I’ve never defined who I associate with based on anything other than the person I see within, we are either compatible or we aren’t, and outward beauty has absolutely nothing to do with it.  I don’t believe that beauty is defined simply by appearance, not to say I don’t notice someone at first glance that has physical beauty but the real deal is beneath what we see on the surface.  The most significant aspect of a healthy body image starts from the inside out and the main concern should be physical health.  As long as your own physical health is not threatened than I say do what pleases you with pride.

Everything in our life affects what we project outwardly and what we project outwardly is a large part of our beauty and can be deeply affected by the positive or negative attitude of choice.  From my own experiences, I’ve noticed that I’m drawn to both the positive and negative for two very different reasons.

Those that have a positive attitude and state of being are usually energetic, ambitious and happy, I find their company to be alluring, intoxicating and contagious.

I’m drawn to some (not all) that have a negative attitude because my desire to share, inspire and cultivate the positive is so strong and I do believe that half of that negativity is not being able to see their own beauty.

The effects of other’s opinions can definitely contaminate our personal views of our own body image which then derails our confidence and self-esteem, and that opens up the breeding ground for negativity.  That negativity can alter our physical appearance in ways we couldn’t have expected.

How you view your personal appearance is significant to you first, it’s not about what others think you should or shouldn’t wear, eat or shouldn’t eat;  it’s about how you feel.  I think that when you are feeling most comfortable and healthy within your own skin you will find that the beauty you then project outward will be one of contentment and confidence in:

–          Knowing who you are

–          Embracing who you are

–          Loving who you are

When this point is reached it becomes really easy to let go of the expectations or labels that you may have allowed to temporarily change who you are and that opens the door to a much happier and healthier personal image.


Posted by on September 4, 2012 in Blog


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