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Off the Beaten Path

02 May

Finding Your Way with Feeling

Have you at one time experienced the moment, day, week or month (hopefully not a year) of feeling lost without hope or options?  Most times feeling lost creates a sense of panic and the extent of that panic of course depends on how much of an over thinker you are.  Getting a hold of yourself and your thoughts to find the way out is your best and only option.

It is my sense that feeling lost is related to some sort of conflict that you feel overwhelmed, overpowered or minimized by.

Conflict itself is just your soul’s way of communicating to you that are off your path, that you aren’t where you are destined to be.  I think many of us get so caught up in the details of a conflict that we miss the lesson while heading toward our intended destiny.  I don’t mean exactly that certain people aren’t meant to cross and/or be in your life but rather that instead of focusing on the conflict try to figure out why it is there to begin with.  What or who are you really battling against?

Keep the bigger picture in mind when assessing conflict or issues of any kind, not everything is as negative as it seems to be.  Just maybe it is meant to propel you into a new direction, a direction you might not otherwise have discovered had you not been pushed.  Maybe it is connected to a quality or characteristic you need to develop to fit into the puzzle that is your future destiny.  I kind of see things in that perspective as each of my experiences pass and I have time to reflect on what the real purpose/lesson was.  I usually find that I have gained greater clarity and that what I’ve learned or developed as a result of the experience will help me going toward my purpose.  There are some that I had to repeat, I guess I just felt I knew better at times and how wrong I was and pained to have to go through one again but thankful at least that I could look back and make the connection changing it from the negative experience into a positive result.

Taking back the power, your power, that you’ve allowed the experience to take control of is your bridge to freedom.

It is my thought that the four elements to embracing this perspective, attitude and outlook are to focus on what you’ve gained instead of what was taken away and/or needed to be shed.

Intention:  When you go into any experience it isn’t likely that your intention is to falsely represent yourself, at least I hope not.  If your intention is pure and positive than it is important to include your intention as reference when you look back to assess what went wrong and why the outcome did not turn out as you had hoped.  Everything happens for a reason!

Receptive:  Are you receptive to the thoughts and opinions of others, not in the way of dismissing your own but open to meeting another’s actions, behaviours and opinions with love and acceptance?  Allowing them to be who they are without judgement or constraint?  By remaining receptive you show that you are considerate and respectful and not trying to force a response or outcome you want which in turn shows another how you also want to be treated.  We teach people how to treat us!

Abundance:  I used to associate abundance in a monetary sense very long ago and of course that was a very naïve assumption.  Abundance is present in so many areas of life and monetarily is actually the least valuable.  Abundance in love, respect and compassion towards yourself and for others are the highest of value and my most cherished.  You cannot buy any of these nor can you force them, they are most beautiful when given freely and without attachment.  The authentic moment is priceless!

Gratitude:  It’s important to have gratitude for even the difficulties as terrible as they are because it is both good and bad experiences that shape you into the person you become.  When I have experiences that don’t turn out the way I hoped I have always concluded that there must have been an aspect of myself I needed to grow or strengthen to better serve me in the future.  Becoming aware of each and every success or challenge that has changed something in me for the better is why I continue to keep this faith.  Even the small steps matter!

When you find yourself off the beaten path do whatever you need to rein yourself back in, look for your signs they truly are all around you trying to guide you back and remember:

  • Everything happens for a reason
  • We teach people how to treat us
  • The authentic moment is priceless
  • Even the small steps matter

Forge ahead with intention, change your negative experiences into positive, stay open and receptive to welcoming abundance in your life with a big dose of gratitude!

 
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Posted by on May 2, 2018 in Blog

 

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Rise or Fall

07 Sep

What Is Your Objective?

Are you going to let the difficult times determine your value and quality of life?

Are you going to build your future on a foundation of pains from the past?

Or you going to let it inspire you to change the direction to a more positive outcome?

with-everything-that-has-happened

When you are feeling stuck which I think everyone has at one time or another (hopefully not too often) you are presented with an opportunity.  The only problem is most of the time you don’t see it as opportunity because when you’re in that place of feeling stuck there are other emotions going on that cloud your view.

The opportunity is change!  Changing your thoughts, changing your attitude, changing your outlook and ultimately changing your life direction.

When you move in the direction of positive change it alters everything in your life:

  • It starts with you and your thoughts, do they sway a little stronger one way or the other (positive or negative side)? What you tell yourself, especially from your subconscious impacts how you feel and how you feel impacts how you interact with others.
  • When your thoughts change so do your interactions with others and how you view and perceive them. Things that possibly annoyed you before begin to become not so important, not because someone else has changed but because you have.
  • When your attitude changes that changes your outlook and your world around you becomes less offensive, not because others have changed but because you have. It’s not “what you get is what you see”, it’s actually “what you see is what you get”.

I’m not going to lie, it’s hard to change your thinking around when you are coming from the place of feeling stuck.  It’s hard to find something solid to stand on so you can rise up from whatever has put you in this place but it is possible.

It takes only a quick shift of thought, that lightning moment to change the direction.  I know that when I get an idea in my head I don’t let it go until I’ve exhausted everything trying.

No one is a failure for trying something that didn’t work, not trying will do more damage to you emotionally through regret than any effort ever made that didn’t work.

Vulnerability is the only way and it’s scary to put yourself out there especially when you don’t know the answers or feel you aren’t ready or strong enough to have them heard but it is such a freeing place to be.  When you allow yourself to be vulnerable there’s nothing left to hide, nothing left to expose or exploit, that changes it into power, personal power!

Whatever caused you to feel stuck is usually not something external but something you find the answers for internally.  Circumstance is just that and circumstance cannot hinder your personal power only you can do that by thinking you are powerless to change a situation.

All situations can be challenged and possibly changed and feeling stuck is only a state of mind, one caused by your own resistance of thinking you are powerless.

Bottom line is you need to be the change you wish to see!

choosing-thoughts-habit

 
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Posted by on September 7, 2016 in Blog

 

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Trust

15 Dec

Affects All Parts of Your Self

I happened to catch a show on the OWN Network the other night with a couple of key note speakers discussing the topic of Trust.  I always like to hear different perspectives and thought processes on any topic because it always makes me think and sometimes challenges my own perceptions.

Everyone has a different opinion and perspective and even if it doesn’t match mine at times I think it’s important to at least honour their feelings.

Trust is built in very small moments – Brene Brown.

If you think the littlest of gestures are insignificant, think again because they build that grander scale of trust.  It takes a longer time to build then it does to destroy it.

I’ve included the definition of both trust and distrust as described by Charles Feltman because like Brene Brown, I think it’s close to the best one I’ve heard.

  • Trust is choosing to make something important to you vulnerable to the actions of someone else.
  • Distrust is what I have shared with you that is important to me but is not safe with you.

I absolutely had to include the acronym as created by Brene Brown regarding the “Anatomy of Trust”, because it seems to me to be the best description and aspects of all relationships.

Brene Brown’s acronym for trust is BRAVING, when we trust we are braving connection with someone.

B – Boundaries; I trust you, if you are clear about your boundaries and you hold them and you’re clear about my boundaries and you respect them.  There is no trust without boundaries.

R – Reliability; I can only trust you if you do what you say you’re going to do and not just once.

A – Accountability; I can only trust you if when you make a mistake you are willing to own it, apologize for it and make amends.  I can only trust you if when I make a mistake I am allowed to own it, apologize and make amends.

V – Vault; what I share with you, you will hold in confidence, what you share with me I will hold in confidence.

I – Integrity; I cannot trust you and be in a trusting relationship if you do not act from a place of integrity and encourage me to do the same.

N – Non-judgement; I can fall apart ask for help and be in struggle without being judged by you and you can fall apart ask for help and be in struggle without being judged by me.

G – Generosity; a relationship is only a trusting relationship if you can assume the most generous thing about my words, intentions and behaviours and then check in with me.

In my opinion, this acronym encompasses everything that is important for trusting to be successful, if you have doubts in any area of the descriptions from the acronym then maybe further introspection would be of benefit for you.  Everyone has their own ways and I wouldn’t say that there is only one right way but I do know that everyone knows in their gut when something is off so pay attention to that as it will be your greatest guide.

Knowing yourself and how things make you feel is the best way to know how your level of trust with someone is doing.  When trust is damaged it has you questioning not only the one you are in trust with but yourself, you end up going through the usual conversations with self “how could I have been so stupid” or “why did I not see that coming”.  As a result not only is the relationship damaged but your own self-esteem, self-worth and self-confidence.  It’s amazing how much damage that can be done in a moment when the thought of another is not held to the high standard it should be because trust is very important.

I just had such an affinity for the conversation because the integrity of trust is such a huge part of all relationships, more than I think many realize.  It’s always said that it’s the little things that matter and this is very true within trust because in the little moments you learn about others, develop, build and evolve the relationship.  You get the true moments and of course with it the openness and vulnerability.  It’s important to be very aware of the vulnerability in others, I think especially so you can always strive to be a better person, one that knows compassion and empathy and wants to bring it into relationships as an enhancement for the connection.

disappointments

 
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Posted by on December 15, 2015 in Blog

 

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Where’s My Sign?

23 Mar

Which Way Do I Go?

I have always believed in signs, how every experience directs or re-directs you to a new path and that all signs manifest as a result of your conscious choices whether they were good ones or not. Your signs find their way to you but ultimately you need to be available (emotionally, mentally & spiritually) to see and embrace them.signs

Not every sign is crystal clear, wouldn’t it be nice if it were? That would make things so much easier and reduce the chances of ever misreading them. Although I think that may be the point, you can’t be led by the hand to every experience, some of the best ones are stumbled upon as if by accident but I don’t believe in accidents, everything does happen for a reason whether you realize it at the time or not.

Have you ever noticed how some people come into your life at just the right time, maybe a time when you were going to give up on something and their presence inspires you to keep going? Or maybe a time when you needed the help of someone of specific placement to give you that extra reach and there they appear? Some just come along to walk with you through it all and some for specific points in time, maybe to shift you in a new direction of a sign you’ve not been able to see yet or maybe to provoke the change you need to forge ahead.

I’ve tried at times to step outside myself as if to look in and while it seems weird to think, sometimes the way things all come together appear to be beautifully mastered by an outside influence. When you are in alignment with all things positive and your intention matches that alignment your life starts to open up and the signs that were always there become much more visible.

How do you know what is truly a sign?

  • The true signs are something you feel instinctively, I used to doubt my instincts not because of any sort of lower-self thinking or lack of self-awareness but because my ego had me believing I knew more, isn’t it great how that ego always leads you to believe that? Any time you have an instinctual thought, feeling or reaction it is truth from your higher self, wanting to be heard and the worst thing you can do is not listen. The signs tend to continue hitting harder each time they present but at some point when you just aren’t getting it and the time for that moment the sign represented has passed they start to diminish just like your ability to hear your instincts, eventually the voice gets quieted so low you can no longer hear it and your signs fade away along with the positive gifts they carried. At this point though all is not lost, the opportunity to see, read and hear new signs will always be available and all it takes is shifting your perspective to the light inside (that is you) and trusting that what you see and feel is something you can believe in, your inner self never guides you astray because it has your best interest, always!

How do you know you’re not just imagining/seeing something that isn’t there?

  • This is a question I’ve asked myself because I tend to get overly passionate and pursuant of my goals at times, that’s just who I am. So am I creating these signs as a result of my imagination and desires? Or are they true signs? Again, this is something only your instinct will know, if it’s a true sign you will feel it, your emotional connection to your higher self is always there to guide you, listen to it. When you have a feeling, act, I can guarantee you will never regret it because at the very least you will never wonder where things would have taken you, you will know.

The signs in life are like signposts on the road, as you travel on the road the signs tell you how much further you have to go, they also tell you that you are on the right track and that’s what the signs in life do as well. They are the significant or insignificant reminders that you are still on the right road destined toward the unknown but hopeful and faith enduring enough to keep going.

Pay attention to all your signs (big and little), heed the warnings and urgings or your instincts, even if you think your making something up in your head let it ride out and see where it takes you, it’s the scariest moments that bring about the greatest change.

signs on life

 
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Posted by on March 23, 2015 in Blog

 

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I Imagine!

16 Mar

Manifesting Your Future

You have to start somewhere, and your imagination is full of all the ideas you really want but may believe aren’t available to you, but they are!

Don’t cut your ideas off simply because you feel they aren’t options, honestly if they are imagined ideas then they aren’t currently happening, right? So what’s the worst that can happen if you entertain those ideas, they don’t occur? So then you’re still right where you are, but…….what if they do happen? How great would that be? There is not a downside as far as I see and you just might get what you want.

So what would you imagine? I know when I imagine things I want to see manifest in my life they are never limited and always seem like a magical gift. I think that you need to have big ideas and big dreams because when you are in your imagination you are allowing your highest self the chance to have a voice. With all that life has going on for each of you through difficulty or success that often quells the voice of your highest self, especially during the more challenging times. I believe that happens not because you aren’t honoring or loving yourself but because some experiences take more of you with them. All experiences change you, either for the better or the worse, they may place you in a holding pattern until you decide which of those paths to take.

If you were back in the days of childhood what would your inner voice say then? What would you imagine? As kids we have all sorts of dreams, imaginations that have no limits and just because you’ve aged doesn’t mean that the opportunities are lost. Why not allow that inner child of yours to have a little input in your adult mind, just for a few moments. Try it!

I Imagine! What’s there in your thoughts of imagination? I can tell you there are many things I’ve imagined to occur that I’ve written down and forgotten. I’ve been doing a lot of cleaning out as of late and come across a few of them, only to realize that most of them (if not all) have been fulfilled. I’ve found that while it’s great to have a focus, a determination of all that you want to see manifest in your life and keep it in your thoughts consistently. It’s also important to put it out into the Universe like a balloon sailing in the sky, it’s important to let it go and gain its own momentum and life force. It’s not that I’ve forgotten these parts of my imagination but I put it out there, let it go and lived my life going in the direction of that life force and the Universe responded, not because I was especially deserving but because I did the work, I believed and I let it go. Everything will happen as it’s supposed to and when it’s supposed to but you need to trust in it and have faith.

Try it out, allow your imagination the opportunity to have a voice, write down the things you want to see happen in your life, the most important thing to be aware of is that anything of negative intention will NEVER manifest the way you want. Anything in your imagination comes from a place of light and positivity, anything negative comes from the ego, not your imagination.

If you want to see something positive manifest from your imagination, it needs to come from a place of good intention, intention that brings only positive outward effects to all those around you. Believe in it, let it go and trust that it will gain its own life force and that the Universe will fulfill it in your life!

Imagine

 
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Posted by on March 16, 2015 in Blog

 

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They May Be Just Words To You, but…

19 Jan

What Were You Thinking?

Consider the impact you have on others when speaking the words you choose.

They are words; there are meaningful words, pointless words and words that just hurt. Which words do you use the most? What is your intention when you use your words? When you realize your words have affected another negatively do you take ownership of it and atone right away or do you sweep it under the carpet and expect them to do the same? Do you overreact and become spiteful or consider that there may be outside and/or extenuating circumstances?

Communication isn’t just saying “hey man, how are you doing” but rather delving deeper to understand the true nature of those around you, how you can make your communication with them be more than just surface conversation and how that communication can connect you on deeper levels.

We all have many layers which are revealed over time through the feelings of true connection, validation, and understanding. If you really want to make an impact it is the words you choose through communication that can either peel those layers back to bring you closer or seal them up tight to protect your vulnerability.

They may just be words but your influence and intention with these words can greatly affect those around you.

words of encouragement

When you Change the way you look at things, the things you look at change – Wayne Dyer

Such a true statement and in relation to your choice of words when in specific situations, a simple adjustment to the way you look at things also changes the way you respond. I think a lot of times many of us may react as a result of it essentially being the straw that broke the camel’s back because our plate is already overloaded with too many things that are stressful and draining on the patience of your spirit. There is more chance of overreaction when in this state and I think it can be exacerbated by the energy of the environment you keep.

Alternatively it may not be overreaction but that the intention of another is to hurt you with their words and if that is the case then that is truly not your path but the fork in the road, there to help re-direct you away from the drama and karma that will eventually dispel.

How people treat you is their karma, how you react is yours – Wayne Dyer

Regardless of how someone has treated you, regardless of how damaging it may have felt or been and regardless of how much you may want to inflict or encourage redemption it is better to distance yourself from those thoughts. The karmic wheel spins in alignment with the Universe and makes adjustments accordingly, your influence is not necessary, in fact it will only inhibit you from your best life.

It will always prove to be utterly frustrating to get yourself caught up in the why’s and what if’s of experiences that are out of your control, sometimes you will never know the answers and sometimes you will but at all times it is best for your spirit to take the higher road and continue on your path as it is the one that is for the higher purpose of you!

your journey

 
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Posted by on January 19, 2015 in Blog

 

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What Have You Done For You Lately?

20 Oct

Living your Dreams?

At the end of the day you have to ask yourself, have I done all that I need to go in the direction I seek? You get out of life what you put into it, nobody is going to get their dreams served to them on a platter, if you want it, you have to put in the effort.

In order to live the life you dream of having you have to take the steps and by steps I don’t mean just saying it out loud, your actions are needed to reinforce the dream. You can’t just sit back and think to yourself “well I stated my intentions, I’ve done my part” but if that were enough then why is everyone else working so hard to achieve their goals? It’s because that’s what you have to do, anything worth having is definitely worth working for!

This applies to all aspects of life, not just your career, any area that you want to manifest abundance in requires your vested interest.

Abundance:  a large amount of something : an abundant amount of something

When you understand that abundance in any area of your life exists because you’ve tuned into it, made room for it and welcomed it in then you will find that same abundant life continues to grow and becomes more and more abundant. You cannot be tuned into abundance without having the basis of gratitude energetically operating in your state of being and it is through gratitude that abundance is cultivated.

A positive mindset is the key to any manifestation in life that you desire and “oh the places you will go” when you believe and see how it works, sometimes it can even seem surreal.

If you are not there it’s not because there are too many obstacles in your way, it’s because you’ve made room for there to be obstacles and you’ve told yourself that they are too big for you to get around. The only reason life goes in a negative direction is because your mindset is also feeling negative, like attracts like. If you feel you don’t deserve to be happy, the “Law of Attraction” responds and gives you more of what you’re thinking “I don’t deserve to be happy”, maybe time to change that tape for the positive!

You have to get out of your own way to allow good things to happen for you, you can’t allow any negative thoughts to impede you from your goal. If the negative finds an opening it will try to sift its way into your thoughts, recognizing and evicting it in that moment is your defense, use it well and a lot if you have to.

Too many times we allow others to define us but we are not defined by them or their thoughts, we are defined by our words and subsequent actions or inactions. How or what someone else feels or says about you doesn’t define who you are, it defines who they are and is very good insight into how they feel about themselves.

You have your own personal power at your disposal at any time to help you attain your dreams, think of it like global warming but instead it’s known as universal power and unlike global warming it’s a positive thing that we all have the ability to tap into.

Once you are “in the zone” there isn’t anything you can’t achieve. I’m sure you’ve had one of those days where “you know, you rock” and get everything that you wanted done and then some, days like these provide us with our own personal rewards of achievement for doing well and you should be proud of yourself.

It is that wave length that lets you know you are plugged in so take advantage of those days when they happen, use them to tackle fears you might not otherwise do on an off day because once you find the way to build on that momentum you will find that momentum comes along a lot more often.

The bottom line is if you want something go after it:

  • don’t defeat yourself before even trying
  • don’t convince yourself you can’t do it
  • don’t see any other outcome other than success

When you think, believe and see what you want as the outcome, there is no room for any other outcome other than that which you see and no other outcome will occur. When you allow and make room for what you see and feed it with positive thoughts the “Law of Attraction” responds and gives you more of what you’re thinking “I will see what I believe will occur”!

anything you want, you can attain

 
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Posted by on October 20, 2014 in Blog

 

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What You Can Become!

04 Sep

Closing the Gaps

It’s not how long you live, it’s what you do with the time you are here! If you want or expect positive experiences and blessings to occur you must make room for them to manifest and exist in your life. Pursue them with everything you’ve got and rest only when you are satisfied!successful mindset

Quote by Leonardo da Vinci:

“It has long since come to my attention that people of accomplishment rarely sat back and let things happen to them. They went out and happened to things.”

It starts with you!

  • Do you really want what you desire?
  • Or do you believe that it should come to you?

These are the defining questions that determine the ultimate direction of your life and your desired goals.

Positively speaking; if you really want what you desire you will go after it without any thought other than success. You must believe in yourself and your goal wholeheartedly and when your belief is this strong there is no room for anything other than success. Everything I have put my heart, mind and soul into has been successful and not for any other reason than that I left no room for any other result. Your belief can actually produce the result and if this sounds crazy to you then put it to the test, I dare you!

Keep in mind that the belief must be felt within every fibre of your being, you cannot half-heartedly pretend to believe in something and in the back of your mind not believe it as that is counter-productive and the reason it WILL fail.

Negatively speaking; if you believe what you desire should come to you then you are already in the wrong frame of mind and the one that will not manifest anything other than an increase in that negative thinking. Intention and attitude are everything when it comes to manifesting your goals and dreams. Appreciation and gratitude for all that you have been blessed with so far is the only way to change a negative frame of mind. If you think or believe that you’ve just not been given the opportunities you deserve I hope that you already see and realize that you are blocking yourself. There is an abundance of opportunities but when you don’t have appreciation for the little things you end up building a wall around you that prevents you from ever seeing the bigger things you have access to.

The same statement as above applies here as well except in opposite effect. If you are unable to connect or tap into the abundance that the Universe has to offer it is because you believe within every fibre of your being that it should come to you. Good Luck with that!

Yes there are times when what we work toward doesn’t go as we may have envisioned but in my experiences I’ve discovered that it has always led me to something better. Even though a vision changes or is changed for another reason I still view it as success because it takes me in a direction that I never considered and it’s always a better fit for me. I believe that what we envision and the directions we seek to go in are ultimately and divinely guided by the Universe and I have no reason to question that. I know the Universe is a force of all things positive and there is no better reinforcement than that.

Everything I have been taught from the time I can remember through every experience has provided me with the incentive I need to passionately pursue what I desire without pause. If you really want something, you go for it, bottom line!

Words are great, they can be inspiring and motivating, but actions are what prove the words true!

actions, words

 
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Posted by on September 4, 2014 in Blog

 

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The Seeds of Doubt

27 Aug

Grow the Spaces to Disconnection

When seeds of doubt pop up in your relationships questions then follow, distance is created when those questions go unaddressed and/or unanswered.  Loss of connection is akin to loss of trust, loss of faith or loss of hope as they all create spaces that eventually make up the distance that creates the loss of connection.

Communication is the greatest protector against these losses because it builds the bridge that always keeps those you cherish close.  Acknowledgement and validation nurtures those loved and helps them to continually grow and evolve with you in symbiotic harmony.

Some of my experiences have been that the dedication is not met on an equal level and the result is moving on.  That doesn’t mean this is a bad thing because not everyone in our lives are meant to be with us for lifetime, some are there to help through transition, to help teach a specific lesson or to motivate change.

We are all different from each other and right down to every cell of our being as it is necessary to create the human experiences we provide for each other and connectively.  Some hurt or elate more than others but from those feelings come wisdom, experience, growth and eventually inner peace.

Is it lost forever?  I really don’t think it is or has to be but like trust, faith or hope it has to be rebuilt and rebuilding usually takes much more work and dedication.  It really depends on the strength of the foundation and if it manifested organically or began from falsehood.  Intention is everything!

I do believe that everyone deserves the chance to show you who they are but trying to change what they show you may or may not be you setting yourself up for disappointment, depending on your perspective.

  • Do you always tackle the impossible in the hopes to change what is?
  • Are you drawn to the impossible so you won’t have to really connect and feel vulnerable?
  • Is the dynamic you constantly find yourself in a reflection of your formative year’s environment?

All three of these questions could have easily been my unrealized mantra.  We all have behaviours that we are consciously or subconsciously predisposed to and there are probably a variety of reasons as to why we allow them to have controlling interest in our lives.

Can we change it?  Absolutely yes!

Anyone at any time can change any behaviour or aspect of their life into a positive direction that provides a happier and more stable state of being.  If you cannot envision the result you want to see that doesn’t mean you can’t make it happen but if you do not believe in it or in yourself then it is your belief that will manifest the outcome.  This includes the seeds of doubt and any communication that has broken down, determination and the willingness to make the effort is necessary for success.  Anything worth having, is worth working for!

I know for myself that when it comes to pursuing something I envision to occur in my life, I do not stop until I’ve exhausted every avenue and all possibilities.  If something does not go according to my vision I’ve found that it leads me in a different and better direction than I had ever considered.  I do not believe in failure, something that doesn’t go as you want doesn’t mean you failed because it usually directs you to something better as long as you are open to it.  That has been my experience every time!

I continue to strive to attain devotion and honesty in addressing the seeds of doubt when they arise, not everything needs to be over-dramatized but at the same time if it matters to you, it matters; and if it matters to you, it should also matter to those you cherish and vice versa.

At the end of the day you know within if you gave it your all, if you left no stone unturned, and that’s what allows you to look in the mirror and be content.

a life that matters

 
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Posted by on August 27, 2014 in Blog

 

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The Reward is the Warmth in Your Heart

14 May

Expectations Have No Place!

The “Give and Take” in every relationship should be one of equality on at least one level but hopefully more. The act of giving should always be with an open heart and without expectation but when the act of taking becomes overwhelming perhaps it’s time to revisit the foundation of the relationship to avoid developing the negative emotion of resentment.

An expectation is like broken trust or loyalty, it is corrosive, it does damage in ways you don’t even realize. An expectation can hold on well after a relationship has dissolved and develop into stumbling blocks or red flags during the period of time when new relationships begin to form. You may not realize it but when you are holding onto something from your past and are unwilling to change your story it deters people from wanting to be in your company and the only person that hurts is you.

Everyone always says “it’s the little things that count” and that is so true but if you attach an expectation to even the little things it’s diminishes its value greatly.

Respect, gratitude and graciousness towards others shouldn’t be compromised to serve only one and there is more reward, warmth in your heart, when the intention comes from a place of purity. No action taken for the purpose of manipulation, lies or self-serving behaviour comes from a positive place. Intention is everything and if it is anything less than unconditional then the intention that may have started out from a pure thought changes negatively. Be very aware of your intentions and actions because they speak much louder than any words can ever say and hurt at a far deeper level than anyone is usually willing to admit.

Sometimes you can unknowingly carry expectations into current or new relationships because a past issue that caused you emotional hurt is unresolved. Emotions are finicky and unpredictable and no matter how well you may think you’ve managed to control them they have a tendency to find a way back out and usually at the worst time!

I think the biggest indication to knowing you have truly moved past something is when you no longer feel any animosity or concern. Letting go is the act of releasing something you cannot change or control and allowing it to be. This is a good thing because if something is holding you back and preventing you from enjoying or embracing your life the way you deserve to than it was obviously something that didn’t belong on your path.

Trust that the universe is working for you, not against you and know that everyone that comes into your life and every experience happens for a reason. We are all an intricate and necessary part of the human existence and each of us will have an impact on at least one person if not more, I think it is best to make that impact be positive.

I heard this phrase recently, can’t remember where from but it went something like this:

“A man can accomplish anything when he realizes he’s a part of something bigger”

Think of the Universe as a huge puzzle and each one of us is a piece of it, even one of us gone causes the puzzle to be incomplete. So along that line, then what about when people pass on or new babies are born? I think the puzzle is constantly changing to adapt, encompass and embrace those changes but it doesn’t change the importance of any one of us, we are all relevant.

Once you give up your expectations, you will never be disappointed again! It’s as easy as changing your intention which immediately changes your direction and your attitude.

You can have everything you want in life if you stay focused!

expectations quote

 
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Posted by on May 14, 2014 in Blog

 

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