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Let’s Be Honest

What do you really know?

 I would venture to guess that many people have at one time or another made an assumption and/or presumption about another’s life, thoughts, intentions and/or grievances (potential or otherwise).  I can’t say with any certainty in the times I have done this that I 100% know exactly what is going on in the mind or life of another and I don’t think anyone really can.  Coming to this awareness and making a commitment to myself as well as others to maintain this awareness when situations arise that trigger this type of speculation is a consideration I give to myself and others.

Communication is one of my favorite experiences to participate in for a few reasons:

  • It cultivates and creates new connections
  • it strengthens and enhances my existing relationships
  • it inspires my thoughts and perspectives in new directions
  • It expands and nourishes the world in which I live

The more we learn about each other the deeper we can connect our souls, this is just my thought but I feel many of us are out there starving for this kind of nourishment.  It seems to be showing up everywhere and spiraling through signs of distress, dissatisfaction, dissidence, disrespect and total disconnection from the emotional feelings that are meant to connect us.  As much as the world has achieved such fantastic technological advances that has given us all further reach in connecting with all walks of life from all over the world, it seems these advances have also disconnected us from real and authentic conversation and connection to each other.

Assume – suppose to be the case, without proof

I believe this is more common than realized and the best way to take this out of the equation in any relationship is to be clear and direct.  I have learned to use a feedback process so if I’m not sure I understand something and I feel within that there is potential for me to assume I repeat back what I’ve heard and ask for clarification.  It gives me and the person I am in communication with the opportunity to clear that line so there is no room for misinterpretation.  Sometimes the one you are communicating with didn’t really hear how what they were saying was actually coming across because it sounded different to them or their intention was not how it was expressed and they would like to re-word.  I work hard to continually utilize this process because I’ve learned from my own experiences that EVERY time I’ve ever assumed I’ve been wrong.

Of course my feedback process hasn’t worked every time, there are times when a communication goes south and there’s nothing you can do about it except postpone it to another time.  Everyone is different, everyone’s circumstances are different and sometimes things need to be addressed at a later date. During difficulty not everyone is in an open and generous state of mind, conversations under that kind of influence may become strained and tense.

Presume – suppose that something is the case on the basis of probability

Again, probably more common than realized and in my experience presumption has occurred because of me, my lack of faith and fear of what I do not have clarity on.

Assume or presume, either is risky and can put you on the hamster wheel cycling and escalating a misunderstood and unclarified communication into parts unknown.  Potentially causing you to imagine the worst, creating and/or elevating it in your mind, only to find out later that you never had it right.  Of course it is possible you may be right but how much satisfaction do you really get out of that?  I would say your soul gets no satisfaction but your ego is probably loving it.  How much is it really worth though?  Putting yourself through unnecessary stress and aggravation.  I don’t know about you but that does not appeal to me at all.

I feel the best resolution to clearing both of these usually disastrous tendencies is to increase your practice in generosity.  Consideration and/or empathy towards what another is experiencing or feeling is a necessary component on the path to understanding.  There is that phrase “walk a mile in someone else’s shoes” which is essentially the platform in which this kind of understanding begins on.

  • How would you feel if you were in their situation whatever that may be which of course you don’t always know?
  • How would you be responding if what they are experiencing was going on in your life?

I realize that in certain situations having generosity towards another can be a big request and while it may seem like it is for the benefit of just the other person it really is more of a benefit for you.  To keep you on track with your soul and off that hamster wheel so you aren’t escalating an experience that may have left you feeling emotionally insignificant and/or invalidated.

It does absolutely no good for anyone to try to understand, comprehend or possibly imagine what another person thinks or believes about you to be true.  The main point about this is that it does not define who you actually are so why even entertain the thought?  What someone else perceives about you does not mean that their perception is right, does it?

Speculating through your own fears without knowing the truth of a situation can be a dangerous thought process with the biggest threat being your own personal health and well-being.

                          False     Expectations     Appearing     Real

When you create a false expectation (theory) of what appears real through the eyes of another assuming/presuming you know what they think, feel or believe you injure yourself the most.

How often have you misdirected your own fears into a reality that would never have manifested in the way you’ve imagined?  How far have you taken those misguided thoughts?  Has it benefited you in any way?

I’ve had communications that have gone to both sides of the spectrum so my wish is to introduce caution, consideration and compassion when communicating whether difficult or not.

  • Caution against saying something you may not be able to take back. There are so many words to use and some can cause more damage than others.
  • Consider the words you choose and ask yourself first how you would feel if they were spoken to you.
  • Compassion in its purest form is a gift you give to another and a blessing you give to yourself.

It takes more of your energy to be resistant than it does to be generous but it takes more courage to be generous than it does to be resistant.  Resistance lowers your levels of personal empowerment and generosity elevates it.  Awareness is power!

Be generous with yourself and notice how that changes your energy, imagine the impact when you embrace and carry that same energy into all your communications.  What a different world you can create around you.

There is such beautiful opportunity to develop deep and profound connections through conversation.  I’ve found my strongest connections with others have been formed through communication simply because it has allowed me to see their heart, their vulnerability and their soul.  There is no way to quantify this except to say it’s priceless!

 
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Posted by on February 24, 2020 in Blog

 

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Divine Timing

Taking the steps you feel guided to take

The Past has Passed – reflect to learn and grow but do not stay!

The Present is Presence – the current moment is where opportunity begins

The Future you Manifest – what energetic house are you building?

Divine timing!  This is a phrase I keep hearing these days and I do believe in it but if you are anywhere near as impatient as I am then you are also finding these words at times do nothing to sustain or quiet the energy within that wants to forge ahead and get things done.  I have had to really dial it back over the last few years and while I continue to learn how to adapt and be comfortable with this kind of restraint I’ve also come to appreciate and understand the importance of it.  One of my thoughts about what some of the many blessings are within divine timing is understanding that no matter how self-motivated you may be there is no forcing anything forward until it is the right time and perfectly aligned.  You absolutely have no choice but to sit back and let the Universe take whatever time schedule is in its plan to manifest and have faith!  Be realistic enough with yourself to recognize and accept that along with everyone else you also have flaws, no one is perfect and no one knows it all so don’t hold yourself to a plan you set out on from a different circumstance or mindset, sometimes the picture changes.  Stay Open!

A large part of my life’s lessons have been centered around patience and when it comes to the Universe and divine timing there is nothing I can do to change the speed of the timeline for my own development and manifestation, regardless of how much I try to will things to hurry along.  I constantly have a plethora of ideas which enhance and inspire my goals.  When I can see that vision ahead it becomes very difficult for me to rein in my anticipation and excitement, aah that beautiful impatience of mine.  Anything other than acceptance only serves to bring me anxiety and stress which is essentially resistance and that further slows down my universal timeline.  I’m learning it’s best to just leave things alone (still learning, not yet mastered), allow whatever will be to be, not focus on the progress of the timeline and always pay attention to the signs that come up along the way.  The signs you receive are the assurance, affirmation and encouragement to let you know where you are on your path.  Clear away any negative thinking, be open and willing to receive or you may miss them.  If something feels off then it is time to give your inner voice the platform, let your gut guide you and listen to it!  When you disregard your gut instinct and go against it regret for not validating that voice will follow.

It is my thought that if you have a strong intuition (empathic, psychic or both) it may be a bigger challenge to sit back and allow time to flow as intended because your sense of knowing, that sneak peak, can either allow you to be calm knowing something is on its way or excited and impatient for it to occur.  If you have been sensing/feeling something big and/or life changing has been orbiting just outside your perimeter but are having difficulty trying to identify where it’s all coming from or what “it” is you may be on the precipice of your own soul’s awakening.  Much like your growth and experiences your awakening would progress and evolve as you align with new and heightened levels of awareness unfortunately there is no handbook and believe me I know how much easier it would be if there was.

In exploring soul awakening, what seems to be coming to the forefront in the last while is the “twin flame” journey which seems to be transitioned from “soulmate” depending upon which theory you hear, maybe it’s just me but it seems to be popping up more frequently. Perhaps there is a newer label already although it doesn’t matter so much, I think it is the thought of providing hope for the belief held in the one’s heart which is more about the experience than the fashionable label.  We all have an equal, your person, the one you connect with for your greater soul’s journey and the call when heard by your soul opens the protected depths of your heart, sometimes you don’t even know how or why this has been stirred.  Have you heard yours?

It is the one you are inexplicably drawn to even though your brain is saying “no this cannot be”, your intuition/gut instinct keeps pulling you back making it hard to comprehend or understand such polarity.  It is the one that speaks to only your soul, the one that you are connected to spiritually regardless of if you have encountered each other in the physical realm at all.  Only you will know if you have you felt this connection and only your gut will know if you are truly hearing it or trying to re-direct and force it in the direction of instant gratification or false desire.

This connection is one that goes beyond the limits of what feels/seems realistic and only those souls that have been awakened will likely relate. It is my belief that your twin flame is the one that you have unknowingly been trying to change every one of your relationships into, a coat that just did not fit any other person and not knowing why you are doing this except that something in you (your soul) is driving that heart’s desire. Not even having the awareness that this is what you’ve been doing until you have been awakened and then, finally, the realizations (aha moments) become so transparent you are mystified to understand why something that seems so clear now was such a mystery to you before.

I would never say I have it all figured out, I still have a long journey ahead and much more alternate perspectives to investigate but I have always been eager to embrace and explore the various directions in which my thoughts and ideas travel whether they are inspired through spirit channel or my own intuition and this has been a great benefit to keeping me open.  I’m not fully schooled on the specifics of the twin flame journey or soulmates and for me it doesn’t really matter, I feel it’s more about how I relate to it and how it relates to me.  Through my own individual experiences I have acquired bruises, cracks and scars, as we all do, and it is through these openings that light has the opportunity to get in and heal.  I have developed the overall understanding that my experiences are opportunities not punishment, if I choose to be close-minded about them in that way I will not gain any personal expansion or awareness.  The opportunity given with each experience is that you can learn, grow and find something positive you can take away from it, even the terrible experiences contain some form of education, if you’ve learned that is positive.  Or you can choose blame and as a result and torture yourself by continually running that hamster wheel, ruminating, regenerating and giving extended life to those thoughts that bring you grief or sadness.  I think it’s important to note that the wheel being circular means there is never an off-ramp and until “you decide” to step off you risk running that continuum, endlessly stuck.

It is my belief that when you align yourself with someone who is not “your person” whether out of impatience, loneliness, desperation, etc., then you are settling.  Now at the same time I don’t like to question the divine, there could be a reason for a misconnection, you may be meant to align yourself with a specific person who isn’t “your person” but who will usher in certain lessons (difficult and sometimes necessary ones) to elevate you to the level and put you in alignment with “your person”. I am not insinuating that your person is either higher or lower than you but rather that when you meet is when you have ascended to an equal level. For example your person may have already gone through a difficult lesson and has grown/elevated or vice versa and therefore either one of you may need to transition through another “experience” so you can align with each other. It might also be that only one is awakened or maybe both are but one hasn’t realized where the call is coming from even though their soul hears it.

There are many different thoughts and reasons things occur as they do in each of our lives and no one person can or should be telling you how to manage your life.  I think the best thing you can do for yourself is to be an open channel so divine timing has the opportunity to become the magical force behind living your best life.

Everything happens to heal and beautify your soul in ways you can’t imagine until you happen into your greatest soul’s desire.

Love is your only way!

 
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Posted by on November 25, 2019 in Blog

 

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Off the Beaten Path

Finding Your Way with Feeling

Have you at one time experienced the moment, day, week or month (hopefully not a year) of feeling lost without hope or options?  Most times feeling lost creates a sense of panic and the extent of that panic of course depends on how much of an over thinker you are.  Getting a hold of yourself and your thoughts to find the way out is your best and only option.

It is my sense that feeling lost is related to some sort of conflict that you feel overwhelmed, overpowered or minimized by.

Conflict itself is just your soul’s way of communicating to you that are off your path, that you aren’t where you are destined to be.  I think many of us get so caught up in the details of a conflict that we miss the lesson while heading toward our intended destiny.  I don’t mean exactly that certain people aren’t meant to cross and/or be in your life but rather that instead of focusing on the conflict try to figure out why it is there to begin with.  What or who are you really battling against?

Keep the bigger picture in mind when assessing conflict or issues of any kind, not everything is as negative as it seems to be.  Just maybe it is meant to propel you into a new direction, a direction you might not otherwise have discovered had you not been pushed.  Maybe it is connected to a quality or characteristic you need to develop to fit into the puzzle that is your future destiny.  I kind of see things in that perspective as each of my experiences pass and I have time to reflect on what the real purpose/lesson was.  I usually find that I have gained greater clarity and that what I’ve learned or developed as a result of the experience will help me going toward my purpose.  There are some that I had to repeat, I guess I just felt I knew better at times and how wrong I was and pained to have to go through one again but thankful at least that I could look back and make the connection changing it from the negative experience into a positive result.

Taking back the power, your power, that you’ve allowed the experience to take control of is your bridge to freedom.

It is my thought that the four elements to embracing this perspective, attitude and outlook are to focus on what you’ve gained instead of what was taken away and/or needed to be shed.

Intention:  When you go into any experience it isn’t likely that your intention is to falsely represent yourself, at least I hope not.  If your intention is pure and positive than it is important to include your intention as reference when you look back to assess what went wrong and why the outcome did not turn out as you had hoped.  Everything happens for a reason!

Receptive:  Are you receptive to the thoughts and opinions of others, not in the way of dismissing your own but open to meeting another’s actions, behaviours and opinions with love and acceptance?  Allowing them to be who they are without judgement or constraint?  By remaining receptive you show that you are considerate and respectful and not trying to force a response or outcome you want which in turn shows another how you also want to be treated.  We teach people how to treat us!

Abundance:  I used to associate abundance in a monetary sense very long ago and of course that was a very naïve assumption.  Abundance is present in so many areas of life and monetarily is actually the least valuable.  Abundance in love, respect and compassion towards yourself and for others are the highest of value and my most cherished.  You cannot buy any of these nor can you force them, they are most beautiful when given freely and without attachment.  The authentic moment is priceless!

Gratitude:  It’s important to have gratitude for even the difficulties as terrible as they are because it is both good and bad experiences that shape you into the person you become.  When I have experiences that don’t turn out the way I hoped I have always concluded that there must have been an aspect of myself I needed to grow or strengthen to better serve me in the future.  Becoming aware of each and every success or challenge that has changed something in me for the better is why I continue to keep this faith.  Even the small steps matter!

When you find yourself off the beaten path do whatever you need to rein yourself back in, look for your signs they truly are all around you trying to guide you back and remember:

  • Everything happens for a reason
  • We teach people how to treat us
  • The authentic moment is priceless
  • Even the small steps matter

Forge ahead with intention, change your negative experiences into positive, stay open and receptive to welcoming abundance in your life with a big dose of gratitude!

 
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Posted by on May 2, 2018 in Blog

 

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Thinking Outside of the Box …. and

Changing Your View

When you are trying to get someone to hear, acknowledge and/or validate your feelings it’s such a graceful place to be in if at the same time you can offer the same in return.  Not everything is as it seems and of course not all views are the same.  If you are unwilling to allow any room for someone to express and also be heard then how can you possibly justify expecting that from them in return?  Communication from the foundation of love is truly the only way to resolve, any other mindset will block that doorway.

Even when the only option always seems like you are the one being the bigger person, be that person anyway, it keeps your soul clear of all effects that can negatively impact your state of being, living and existing.  When you think of the personal teachings that are your soul’s existence, your own ideology, does it resonate with or against you when you aren’t allowing compassion?  I think your answer to this question is yours alone and one that will help direct or re-direct you back onto the path toward your personal destiny, we all have one.

No one soul is better than another but your ego self and the energy you bring can change the direction of your life and who is drawn or deflected by it which inevitably determines the places you will go or are encouraged to return to.  Pay attention to the energy you bring, it usually introduces you before you even say a word.  Inauthenticity can be off-putting and is a controlling behaviour of the ego, open and warm energy is the natural projection of your soul.

When you are open and offer to be understanding and gracious during a time of conflict you create a space of freedom within speech, objectivity and vulnerability.  This opens the lines of communication right down to the soul level and the opportunities for a deeper bond can transcend any negative boundaries that previously dominated the communication.  Revealing your own vulnerability and authenticity may seem too open to being hurt but it is such a valuable extension of yourself towards others that you just can’t afford to suppress.

I feel it is when we are protecting our hearts so intensely that we end up closing the door to discovering something new, something possibly dreamy and inconceivable.  You have no idea what you can potentially miss out on when you refuse to let others in because of past hurts that have colored or damaged your ability to have a healthy and spirited approach to trust.

We all have something to offer and share, sometimes your sadness and hurt can prevent you from remaining true to that faith.

It is really important to hold your faith through the challenges and successes that life brings your way as it is building you for your destiny.  Even when a storm becomes so overwhelmingly cloudy and dark that it causes you to question your vision about the bigger picture, trust in the divine anyway.  Nothing you can’t handle will come your way and everything does happen for a reason.

Your higher purpose and the greater good are a part of everyone’s journey, be intensely curious to discover yours!

 
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Posted by on April 18, 2018 in Blog

 

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The Point of Impact!

Don’t Let an Emotional Hurt Define Your Life

Faith and reason sometimes aren’t enough to pull you out of the cage in your mind you’ve trapped yourself in from an emotional hurt even if you have the intellect of knowing better.  The worst thing you can do for yourself is to bottle it up and not let it go.  No matter how much you try to stuff it down, it’s going to continue to bubble back up to the surface until you dare to feel, process and let it go.  Finding the root, the point of impact that has stunted your own progress and growth in life is the only way to truly find your peace.I'm alright

Sometimes it’s easier to replace your hurt with anger because then you don’t have to feel the pain even though you probably still are.  Unfortunately that won’t diminish it or make it go away, it will continue to grow until you find the courage to face it head on.   When another person, whether it is friend, family or stranger causes you to feel bad about yourself it injures your confidence, self-esteem and self-worth.  Your personal connection to that person will be dependent upon how deeply it will affect you.

Friends aren’t your blood relatives but can feel just as close, sometimes closer and I don’t think it matters how much you value their opinion but rather how much of your heart, trust and loyalty you’ve placed in their hands.

Family are your past, your present and your future, how much you evolve and blossom is dependent upon the love and support they offer.  I’ve been lucky enough to have such strong love and support from family, even during the times when I was not receptive to it, you know like when you’re a teenager and think you know it all?

When your confidence, self-esteem or self-worth gets injured it changes you, it changes how you present yourself, how you connect and relate with others and how others perceive you.  What I believe is the worst part is that the change in you as a result of the emotional injury prevents others from getting to know you authentically because you end up withdrawing, building walls and distancing yourself as a way of blocking such an injury again.  New people in your life that could potentially become friends notice and feel that something is off which pops up as “red flags”, that something just isn’t right and depending on how interested or invested they are, they may just walk away.  Who loses here?  I would say both, chances are you aren’t happy if you’re not being your authentic self and that person doesn’t get to know the “real you”.

Unfortunately an emotional hurt can run deep and when not dealt with you may start projecting negativity towards others as a way of offsetting the hurt, which turns everyone away and if you hang onto it for too long it will start to manifest as more serious warnings in your health.  Negativity is like a virus and at first it will be symptoms that doctors can’t find answers to because the only prescription for health is within you, you must face and embrace the pain.

I believe we are all seeking the same in life; love, acceptance, connection and compassionate familiarity.  I base how I treat others on how I want to be treated and while everyone may not behave or react in that same way, it’s not a reflection of how they feel about me but rather how they feel about themselves.  While that may not make things easier to take I think with time it makes things easier to understand.

Being present to the feelings of others enhances and strengthens your connection with them, it allows them to feel safe to be authentic and vulnerable.  When you embark upon this kind of connection with someone, know that you’re in the presence of a kindred spirit.

important encounters

 
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Posted by on November 30, 2015 in Blog

 

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The Magic of the Season

The Spirit in My Christmas

What does the holiday season mean to you? Does it mean too much hustle, too much spending and way too busy? If it does I think you may have become disconnected from the true meaning and value of the holiday season.

magic of the season

The Spirit of Christmas is supposed to carry so much more than just how much you’re hoping to get or how much you’ve given. The holidays should be a source of happiness, the time to connect with the people you may not see so much during the year, to celebrate with those you love and cherish and remember those that are no longer here with you. It is the family traditions from the holidays that keep us rooted within our heritage, connected to our past, remain active in our present and are carried into our future.

For me it’s not just the 12 days of Christmas but rather my 6 most cherished spirits of Christmas:

  • Family
  • Friends
  • Gratitude
  • Compassion
  • Giving
  • Sharing

I think it’s important to embrace these spirits all year long but I find for myself that they become heightened during the holiday season. It starts with the music and lights and I know many don’t want it but I love the addition of snow because it makes the holiday that much more magical, everything sparkles so much more with the backdrop of beautiful white snowflakes. It takes the season in the direction that the best stories of Christmas have come from, like sledding down the hills.

There is so much creativity that comes from everyone during this time, not just with their lights but food and crafts too, not everything needs to be bought the best creations are those that are made from a pure place of love. I think probably everyone has at least one but probably more arts and crafts from their children displayed somewhere within their decorative décor and likely well past the years when their kids originally made it because it has become part of the tradition.

My traditions? The entire family stuffing themselves until they feel too full to eat another bite, listening and/or singing the songs, kids running around creating all sorts of havoc, laughing and being crazy. It’s all about visiting and sharing good food, good drinks and good conversation with good company and if there is someone new to include into the festivities, even better because there is always room for new friends.

I know the holiday season doesn’t provide everyone with the warmth and joy that it does for me and I believe that the spirits of compassion and giving become even more important to share with those you encounter that aren’t feeling the love. It doesn’t take a huge gesture to share the season, sometimes the smallest acts carry the biggest weight.

Tis the Season, embrace and enjoy it!

seasons greetings

 
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Posted by on December 15, 2014 in Blog

 

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The Road Ahead

Navigating Through Life

How has your road trip been so far?  Have you been able to negotiate the twists and turns?

I’ve heard the comparison of a road map as a reference to our own lives and I can relate.

These are my analogies to travelling the road of life:

–          Construction Zones (A Reminder of Patience – Don’t sweat the small stuff)

–          Soft Shoulders (Sugar Coating Communications – Tell them how you really feel)

–          Yield ( Respecting other’s Opinions & Feelings – We are unique, we all don’t think alike) 

–          Do Not Enter (Crossing Boundaries – know when to walk away)

–          One Way Street (Negative Thinking – Not every obstacle is as big as it seems)

–          Fork in the Road ( Making a Decision – choosing the path that’s right for You)

–          Gravel or Dirt Road (A New Lesson to Learn – Could be a long or short distance, depends on You)

–          Wrong Turn (You’ve Stepped Off your Path – A mistake)

–          Gridlock (Unable to Find Compromise – Only time will reveal)

–          Bridge is Out (Forgive and Forget – Not all mistakes can be repaired, time to move forward)

–          The Runaway Lane (Not Learning a Lesson – Our ego thinking it knows better)

–          Rest Stops (Regaining your Strength – Finding your personal power)

–          Hitchhikers (The People We Allow Into our Life – Positive or Negative)

–          Detours (A New Direction Not Considered – Relying on your gut instincts)

–          The High Road (Don’t Compromise your Integrity – Don’t lower yourself to someone else’s level)

–          All Green Lights (Positive Thinking, natural flow of the Universe)

Some of the various roadblocks that come up in our lives are there for a reason, some are a result of choices made (good or bad), some are there to teach us so we can learn and grow, some are there to serve solely as a “déjà vu” reminder to keep us from straying too far from the main road.

Most of these turns, bumps and challenges are in place to keep us on the straight and narrow, although sometimes we get off course, take a wrong turn and end up on the wrong end of a one-way street. 

  • Sometimes we get ourselves so far off course that our GPS is continually “re-calculating”.
  • Sometimes you end up having to make a complete U-Turn and go back to where you started.
  • Sometimes, you just can’t get there from here!

Not every road leads to a better life but all roads provide us with an opportunity for personal growth.  Along the way we can find great friends, love, passion, purpose and a greater understanding for how impactful positive thinking can be.

The Universe knows where we should be going but we have our own free will to ultimately decide.

 
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Posted by on July 24, 2012 in Blog

 

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