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Tag Archives: respect for others

Have A Word With Yourself!

You Can’t Change What You Don’t Acknowledge

Do you find, at times, that you jump to the wrong conclusions causing an inappropriate reaction before letting a conversation finish?

Do you find that those reactions are consistently having a negative effect on your relationships and communications with others?

Do you often believe that you are right without considering the possibility that there may be more for you to learn?

When you close your mind from empathizing, understanding, considering and/or acknowledging other points of view then you cut yourself off from your own evolution of personal growth.  Not only does this prevent you from developing your soul but it stagnates your relations with others as they continue to grow and evolve with others that share their interests.

We all want to connect, we all want to be heard and we all want to be acknowledged.

When you disregard another person’s feelings you are rejecting their right to have a voice, you are suppressing their concerns and most importantly you are negating their pain.

when-a-person-says-you-hurt-them

Respect, appreciation and gratitude are the foundation for every aspect of life;

Respect is not only those around you (like the waiter, the clerk at the store or someone down on their luck) but the items you use in your daily life, everything is energy!

If you were to abuse your vehicle, an appliance or your home eventually they would begin to deteriorate.  Nature and our environment thrive on the generosity of our respect, for it is all living energy that requires nurturing and without that becomes listless and dies, some damage irreversible.

Appreciation for every experience, lesson and opportunity can provide you with a renewed sense of insight.  Not just the good but sometimes even the worst experiences lead us onto a better path and usually with a stronger of self and clarity.  It may be that your purpose is connected to one of those experiences.

Lessons are also an essential part of life, not everything can be gained from the knowledge contained in books, first-hand experience is the best teacher you will ever have, sometimes not the most favorable but usually the most effective.  All opportunities are gifts, ones that shouldn’t be refused because they look like work or aren’t as appealing to the eye as you’d like.

Gratitude (noun):  the quality of being thankful; readiness to show appreciation for and to return kindness.

Is gratitude something you do occasionally or how you live?  Is your gratitude based only on what you receive from others or are you grateful for their mere presence in your life?  Do you only at times offer the words to express that gratitude or is it something you believe is just known by those around you?

Active gratitude is an empowering and happy energy to embrace and practice daily, one that will fuel and nurture your soul and the souls of those around you.+

Without gratitude you lose the whole purpose of your journey, without respect you lose yourself.

You can’t change what you don’t acknowledge!

prime-purpose-is-to-not-hurt-others

 
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Posted by on January 25, 2017 in Blog

 

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Say What You Mean and……..

Mean What you Say!

Your actions are how you really feel, your words are the smoke screen that masks those feelings.

It seems simple really to say what you mean but people rarely do so and when it comes to honest communication I think many of us are afraid to voice our real thoughts. Some hold back because they don’t want to hurt the other and some hold back because they lack the courage to tackle the conflict ahead.

The only way to truly get to the bottom of any communication snag is open and honest communication and while it may feel difficult to find the right words I believe that as long as your communication comes from a sincere and compassionate place there isn’t anything that can’t be resolved.

Resolution means that an understanding has been reached not necessarily that a relationship goes back to its previous state. When resolution is required it is because somewhere along the lines something occurred to change the dynamics of the relationship, not all changes are good and not all changes are bad but it is these such changes that could have permanence in how the relationship works.

Sugar coating the words to ease tension isn’t any kind of good solution, everyone inherently knows when they are in the wrong in any given situation and pretending like it’s ok and/or sweeping it under the rug creates two problems.boundaries

  • It sends the message that the behaviour is acceptable and “please continue, I do not have healthy boundaries”.

 

  • Conversely it may send the message that they aren’t important enough in your life for you to be honest.

If you’re not saying anything to avoid hurting someone than this action is counterproductive to your efforts because you are hurting them anyway. Not every advice or constructive criticism is easy but if you really want to see the best occur for others than those not so comfortable conversations sometimes need to take place.

Regardless of your own reasons for not saying what you mean or meaning what you say, it does more damage than good when you hide your true feelings and everyone involved is already aware of the elephant in the room, the words just haven’t been vocalized.

All of us handle conflict and change differently, some better than others and some not but conflict is a necessary part of life and without it we wouldn’t learn how to properly transition ourselves through adversity but hopefully we learn to do so with a little bit of grace.

I’ve had a lot of difficulty in this area of life and I think that’s mostly because I’m not sure I can articulate something clearly enough, that it may be misunderstood and defensiveness or anger can result and because I feel my words may be too honest and/or harsh.

The very real issue with holding back is that it creates distance in the relationship and with time that distance grows until the connection is no longer there and what do you do then? I guess that depends on the foundation and stability of a relationship from the beginning, what the common thread was that held it all together. If that thread is based on something strong and whole like respect, honesty and integrity than relationships can survive the challenges but if the foundation is weak and solely supported by only one that is actively nurturing it than it is very likely to crumble.

One of the most damaging things that can occur in relationships is saying something that you don’t mean out of anger. Our words can be just as damaging as our actions, if not more, the phrase “think before you speak” is the most important mantra you could ever instill in your mind because once the stone is thrown you can never take it back. If you feel you are in a mind space that you know is affecting you negatively then it is not the best time to have any kind of discussions that require you to have an open mind or heart. There’s a huge difference between loving and honest communication and spewing nasty words out of spite.

The foundation of all relationships is trust, trust that you can allow others to see your vulnerable side and trust that they won’t use it against you.

It takes years to build trust with others and only moments to destroy it!

Don’t be that person! Build trust and value it, communicate honestly and mean it, actively nurture your coveted relationships and appreciate what you’ve been blessed with so far.

communication

 
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Posted by on July 30, 2014 in Blog

 

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R.E.S.P.E.C.T.

What it All Means to Me!

respectThis word or as I see it, “state of grace”, seems to come so easy to some but yet can be so difficult for others, anyone living without respect is depriving themselves of all the gifts that come with it.

I grabbed this definition from the internet and there were many but I think this one encompasses the aspects that are a little blurred in society today.

Respect:

It means valuing each other’s points of views. It means being open to being wrong. It means accepting people as they are. It means not dumping on someone because you’re having a bad day. It means being polite and kind always, because being kind to people is not negotiable. It means not dissing people because they’re different to you. It means not gossiping about people or spreading lies.

Respect is basic, the unwritten golden rule, and it’s not just about respecting others, there is respect for yourself, life, animals, earth, the environment and many more. When you have basic respect it flows effortlessly into everything you do, it feeds all self-nurturing aspects in yourself and others, like self-worth, pride of accomplishment and a job well done, not just done!

Respect lies within every experience and when you live and breathe it daily in your life so much wisdom and personal rewards will be gained.

What it All Means to Me:

We teach others how to treat us and what we are willing to accept and I haven’t been the greatest at standing my ground when I know I feel lessened and/or weakened in spirit by another. In the past I have allowed others to lower the level of respect I deserve because I felt I was being disrespectful or mean if I said otherwise.

I do find that as I learn to further embrace my strength my direction in life becomes more defined and the vision ahead takes a different but stronger and better focused shape.

Respect is the cornerstone to all aspects of life, it goes hand in hand with our personal integrity, it is the foundation of all successful relationships and when coupled with gratitude respect and many other states of being are enhanced. If you have gratitude/appreciation for where you are now and the blessings you’ve had in your life you won’t experience as much resistance on your path. Whenever I’ve questioned the Universe as to why a circumstance is so challenging I come across someone who is experiencing it at a deeper level and I am immediately humbled.

The Universe speaks to you through your inner spirit, your gut instinct to help guide you to the path you are meant to walk and it is always to your benefit to listen.

When you allow your inner spirit and voice to be heard you give yourself the opportunity to share and bond with the Universe and those in it as you were meant to and when you tune into that alignment magical things happen!

respect, magnificent world

 
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Posted by on May 21, 2014 in Blog

 

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The Ties that Bind

Releasing the Past!

The world of hurt caused by the feeling and expression of Anger, Grudge and/or Hurt can be overwhelming enough to stunt, damage or impede your personal growth and progression in life for the period of time it takes for you to purge it.

Most anger or grudges you hold onto come from a deep dark place of hurt, acknowledging that hurt and nurturing your feelings back into a positive state is the only way to move forward.  Obviously this is easier said than done in the lives of many, I know I’ve had my struggles with it.  When you feel wronged by another it can be difficult to let it go, most of us just want acknowledgement, to be heard, to be validated, to have our say and these are the most important parts of the process to help you move on and let it be.

Acknowledgement isn’t always easily found or accommodated:

  • The anger or grudge may be directed at someone who has now left the physical world
  • You aren’t able to find the right words to express exactly what you need to say to someone
  • The one causing the hurt is not easily reached mentally or emotionally which prevents them from fully understanding the negative effect they’ve had on you.

Not everyone realizes how much their words or actions can hurt another and some think “don’t be so sensitive” but in reality it’s that “sensitivity” that is you who you are and if they really know you then they know what will hurt you and should adjust accordingly.  I don’t mean walk around certain people like you’re on egg shells but know your audience and don’t expect everyone else to adjust to you if you don’t even try to adjust to them!

If you want others to be respectful of your feelings then be respectful of theirs, it’s as simple as it’s quoted:  “do unto others as you would have them do unto you”.  It doesn’t get more golden than that!words that hurt

If you become aware that you have hurt someone through your words or actions it is important to make amends not just for your own consciousness of behaviour but to help them process through their hurt.  I am not by any means going to say that I’m perfect, no one is!  I know I’ve been responsible for hurting someone’s feelings with my words or actions but my conscious always knows when I’m in the wrong and I try to make amends in whatever way I can through apology, understanding and validation.  The “sweep it under the table and forget it” isn’t the action to take when you realize you are wrong, it is only through acknowledgement that you can help the one you’ve hurt to let go of it and move ahead without issue.  It’s actually an important process for you as well to know you’ve made steps to correct words or actions that you know aren’t right because even though karma is a process associated with unconditional intention, if your intention isn’t to correct your wrongs then it is likely your karmic outcome will contain a few hiccups or difficulties.

Moving past hurt is basically a process you create for yourself, through whatever means, to help you channel it outward so it can then be released.  I journal my way through all the issues that cause me hurt or discontent and it is the best form of therapy for me but what works for me may not work for another, it’s just a matter of finding the process that works best for you but do try, it is important to release issues that prevent you from moving forward.

Holding onto past hurt doesn’t just control your life in the present it ruins it because it causes unhappiness and negative thoughts, negative thoughts sometimes evolve into negative actions.  Without resolution these issues will spill over into your future which can hold your life in a place of continuous cycle and recall of the moment(s) of hurt when it occurred.

It’s not as much about giving the one who has caused you hurt a break and letting it go as it is about letting it go so it doesn’t continue to hurt you so deeply.  The hurt you allow through supporting your anger or grudge will continually cycle and can cause irreparable damage to you emotionally, mentally and as a result, sometimes physically.  These three aspects of your health are co-dependent upon each other and when one is low it can alter your quality of life and honestly I don’t think that is something anyone deserves or needs to endure.

If you can, look to those in your life that you trust and admire who you can ask for assistance, advice or support whether that is through listening or helping you to make a plan.  I’ve found that when I have someone to talk to it makes a huge difference because it allows me to step outside myself so I can get a clearer perspective and vision for going forward in a better direction.

As difficult as it may be, embrace the pain, allow yourself to feel it fully so you can then start to heal, the more you heal the more you will be able to let it go and when you’ve finally rid yourself of the hurts that have paralyzed you for so long you will be able to move forward and enjoy the happiness you deserve and the future you are destined to live.

emily's quote

 
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Posted by on March 19, 2014 in Blog

 

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Ingredients for Life!

Life Equals Pie

I was given a fabulous concept from a very good friend of mine for a great topic this week!  The concept is creating an analogy between our life journeys and a favorite dessert and all the ingredients and layers create our own recipe for personal success, whatever that may be.

Much like the ingredients in any dessert, depending on which one you choose, there are usually layers and levels of design.  I’ve chosen Banana Cream Pie because it would contain a good level of ingredients to create this analogy.

Banana Cream Pie:

  • 3 cups of Love
  • 2 cups of Integrity
  • 2 cups of Pride
  • 1 cup of Self-Respect
  • 1 cup of Respect for others
  • 1 cup of Positive Attitude
  • ½ cup of Compassion
  • ½ cup of Empathy
  • 3 tablespoons of Confidence
  • 3 tablespoons of Determination
  • 3 tablespoons of Courage
  • A dash of Assertiveness
  • 12 ounces of water for personal wellness

Frosting:   The Law of Attraction

  • 1 cup of Intention
  • 1 cup of Faith
  • 1 cup of Appreciation
  • 1 cup of Gratitude

Directions:

Mix all ingredients together until they are well blended and you are feeling content.  I was going to add an ingredient to enhance humility but I believe that the emotion of remaining humble would be experienced as a result of living life through Banana Cream Pie.

Serve it to anyone and everyone you so desire and utilize the ingredients to your fullest potential.

I realize that the amounts of all the ingredients I have contained in this recipe are quite excessive but it is a global pie meant to feed the souls of as many as possible.  The frosting is also excessive but it is the Law of Attraction, and that’s exactly where you want to get really excessive in your vision and life.  You will attract exactly what you think and believe!

 
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Posted by on June 26, 2012 in Blog

 

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