Grow the Spaces to Disconnection
When seeds of doubt pop up in your relationships questions then follow, distance is created when those questions go unaddressed and/or unanswered. Loss of connection is akin to loss of trust, loss of faith or loss of hope as they all create spaces that eventually make up the distance that creates the loss of connection.
Communication is the greatest protector against these losses because it builds the bridge that always keeps those you cherish close. Acknowledgement and validation nurtures those loved and helps them to continually grow and evolve with you in symbiotic harmony.
Some of my experiences have been that the dedication is not met on an equal level and the result is moving on. That doesn’t mean this is a bad thing because not everyone in our lives are meant to be with us for lifetime, some are there to help through transition, to help teach a specific lesson or to motivate change.
We are all different from each other and right down to every cell of our being as it is necessary to create the human experiences we provide for each other and connectively. Some hurt or elate more than others but from those feelings come wisdom, experience, growth and eventually inner peace.
Is it lost forever? I really don’t think it is or has to be but like trust, faith or hope it has to be rebuilt and rebuilding usually takes much more work and dedication. It really depends on the strength of the foundation and if it manifested organically or began from falsehood. Intention is everything!
I do believe that everyone deserves the chance to show you who they are but trying to change what they show you may or may not be you setting yourself up for disappointment, depending on your perspective.
- Do you always tackle the impossible in the hopes to change what is?
- Are you drawn to the impossible so you won’t have to really connect and feel vulnerable?
- Is the dynamic you constantly find yourself in a reflection of your formative year’s environment?
All three of these questions could have easily been my unrealized mantra. We all have behaviours that we are consciously or subconsciously predisposed to and there are probably a variety of reasons as to why we allow them to have controlling interest in our lives.
Can we change it? Absolutely yes!
Anyone at any time can change any behaviour or aspect of their life into a positive direction that provides a happier and more stable state of being. If you cannot envision the result you want to see that doesn’t mean you can’t make it happen but if you do not believe in it or in yourself then it is your belief that will manifest the outcome. This includes the seeds of doubt and any communication that has broken down, determination and the willingness to make the effort is necessary for success. Anything worth having, is worth working for!
I know for myself that when it comes to pursuing something I envision to occur in my life, I do not stop until I’ve exhausted every avenue and all possibilities. If something does not go according to my vision I’ve found that it leads me in a different and better direction than I had ever considered. I do not believe in failure, something that doesn’t go as you want doesn’t mean you failed because it usually directs you to something better as long as you are open to it. That has been my experience every time!
I continue to strive to attain devotion and honesty in addressing the seeds of doubt when they arise, not everything needs to be over-dramatized but at the same time if it matters to you, it matters; and if it matters to you, it should also matter to those you cherish and vice versa.
At the end of the day you know within if you gave it your all, if you left no stone unturned, and that’s what allows you to look in the mirror and be content.
Shelley Hallmark 