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Thinking Outside of the Box …. and

Changing Your View

When you are trying to get someone to hear, acknowledge and/or validate your feelings it’s such a graceful place to be in if at the same time you can offer the same in return.  Not everything is as it seems and of course not all views are the same.  If you are unwilling to allow any room for someone to express and also be heard then how can you possibly justify expecting that from them in return?  Communication from the foundation of love is truly the only way to resolve, any other mindset will block that doorway.

Even when the only option always seems like you are the one being the bigger person, be that person anyway, it keeps your soul clear of all effects that can negatively impact your state of being, living and existing.  When you think of the personal teachings that are your soul’s existence, your own ideology, does it resonate with or against you when you aren’t allowing compassion?  I think your answer to this question is yours alone and one that will help direct or re-direct you back onto the path toward your personal destiny, we all have one.

No one soul is better than another but your ego self and the energy you bring can change the direction of your life and who is drawn or deflected by it which inevitably determines the places you will go or are encouraged to return to.  Pay attention to the energy you bring, it usually introduces you before you even say a word.  Inauthenticity can be off-putting and is a controlling behaviour of the ego, open and warm energy is the natural projection of your soul.

When you are open and offer to be understanding and gracious during a time of conflict you create a space of freedom within speech, objectivity and vulnerability.  This opens the lines of communication right down to the soul level and the opportunities for a deeper bond can transcend any negative boundaries that previously dominated the communication.  Revealing your own vulnerability and authenticity may seem too open to being hurt but it is such a valuable extension of yourself towards others that you just can’t afford to suppress.

I feel it is when we are protecting our hearts so intensely that we end up closing the door to discovering something new, something possibly dreamy and inconceivable.  You have no idea what you can potentially miss out on when you refuse to let others in because of past hurts that have colored or damaged your ability to have a healthy and spirited approach to trust.

We all have something to offer and share, sometimes your sadness and hurt can prevent you from remaining true to that faith.

It is really important to hold your faith through the challenges and successes that life brings your way as it is building you for your destiny.  Even when a storm becomes so overwhelmingly cloudy and dark that it causes you to question your vision about the bigger picture, trust in the divine anyway.  Nothing you can’t handle will come your way and everything does happen for a reason.

Your higher purpose and the greater good are a part of everyone’s journey, be intensely curious to discover yours!

 
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Posted by on April 18, 2018 in Blog

 

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Simplicity at it’s Best!

Dialing things down

We all have our own truth and what fits for you isn’t always going to fit with everyone else, it’s just a matter of respecting that without trying to change another’s outlook or point of view to fit your ideals.  As passionate as you can become about trying to get others to see your point of view sometimes it’s best to let things be and allow people to have their own truth as they see it, even if you believe your way is better for them.  How much is your peace of mind or serenity worth to you in the big picture?  What does serenity mean to you?

Of course it is all about the quote in accepting the things you cannot change, having the courage to change the things you can and having the wisdom to know the difference but how do you really find that acceptance when you are trying to force someone to see your truth or point of view?  It’s so important to be mindful about picking your battles and knowing what is really worth you pushing to be right when it comes to the more minor issues.

I find that the things that bothered me when I was younger don’t really carry as much weight now, not because they don’t matter but rather because if I dial it down a bit to be at the level I could have started from I wouldn’t have got myself so out of sorts.  I think most times when you find yourself getting worked up about an issue that wouldn’t normally escalate to where you’ve brought it to that is the sign that it is not really the core of what is bothering you and a more in depth look within is needed to find out exactly what the core of that issue is.

I think you will be surprised at how far off the issue you actually are when you do that in depth look within and it usually stems from an unhealed wound from the past.  These are just triggers, like signposts to remind you that you’ve gotten yourself off course from your destined path.  The resistance you feel within is a manifestation of your soul trying to get your attention and guide you back onto your path.  I think deep within you know when you are off course mostly because you feel frustrated and anxious about the things going on around you and how out of alignment they feel.  Most times you are actually personally disconnected from your soul and need to re-build your inner power.

So what is your truth?  Are you trying to pressure your thoughts or ideas onto someone else because you think you know better?  Honestly do you really think you know more than your maker?  I don’t think I would be so bold as to declare that I do.  There is still much more for me to learn and when I dial things back to the level they should really be at it really helps me to keep things in the right perspective.

Your own personal soul work is a lot harder to look at than pointing out what others are doing wrong and I’m sure your ego would strongly agree.  Are you letting your ego, the part of you that says but you just don’t understand, you’re not personally involved, you weren’t there and so many other excuses to support that argument?  Your ego isn’t in it for you to evolve, not a chance, your ego is in it to win it and to serve the higher purpose of supporting being right.  At all times being right isn’t as important as being kind which I’m sure you would agree if you were on the other end of being treated unkindly.

What part of dialing things down will help you live a much healthier and simplistic lifestyle for the purpose of peace of mind and/or serenity?  How much is that state of being worth to you?  To me it’s priceless!  Nothing is worth the battle, it doesn’t mean you are surrendering, submitting or saying someone else is right, it means you are saying I value my peace more than the dispute.  It means you are saying the benefits of continuing down a path of disagreement isn’t worth my peace of mind or the damage it can do to me within or my relationship with the other person.

Dialing things down and embracing simplicity in every aspect of your life allows you to find humility, gratitude, tranquility, serenity and an easier path.  I would rather travel on the path of peace than that of anxiety and conflict.  This doesn’t mean I am a doormat and never stand up for the things that matter but I have learned to determine what matters most for me and what doesn’t.  Knowing and understanding what my truth is and developing healthy boundaries hopefully inspires others to find theirs as well.

Simplicity is simply that!

 

 
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Posted by on April 13, 2018 in Blog

 

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The New Normal

Breaking the Cycle

I’m sure at some point we have all recognized a cycle or pattern occur or reoccur in our lives and usually not until the undesirable happens.  The undesirable being the outcome that you either didn’t expect or didn’t want.

If it was something you didn’t expect then you probably weren’t listening to the warnings your inner voice was nudging you about or your ego was encouraging you that you knew better.

If it was something you didn’t want then the outcome was already placed in your subconscious and therefore inevitable because in the back of your mind you expect it may be a possibility.

The law of attraction will give you exactly what you want to think about the most.  Your conscious mind can try to trick you into believing something but the truth of what you really feel and believe is stored in your subconscious.  If you believe in your subconscious that you are in a pattern/cycle that is going to fail then you can tell your conscious self all you want that everything is fine but deep down you know it’s not.

What I have become mindful of over time is my inner voice/gut instincts in identifying the parallels and precursors to those undesirable circumstances so I can prevent a reoccurrence.  I’ve also found that cycles and patterns of experiences and/or behaviours have many variables at the core and no two are alike which is why I say I stay mindful but not apathetic.  It is very important to remain open yet aware so you do not risk closing yourself off from the good that could come into your life.

Most of the patterns and cycles reoccur not because we aren’t being smart but because they are familiar, even when they may be toxic.  Your environment from childhood and up to adult is what you have been marinated in and in essence becomes the fabric of who you are even if the environment wasn’t favourable.  Sometimes as a result you end up seeking a similar environment not because it is what you desire but because it is familiar.  As I said there are many variables at the core of each of us and no two experiences are identical and if your environment wasn’t favourable it doesn’t necessarily mean you are cursed to end up in that same place.

Awareness is your best friend, openness is your faith, kindness is your assistant and love is your hope.

Remembering the positives from your past instead of the negative aspects is a good way to understand and learn what the experiences are there to teach you so you don’t go through it again.  When you do this it helps your soul heal so you can remain open to the good but aware so you don’t fall back again and bypass your destiny.  We all have a destined purpose and if you aren’t sure if you are living yours then just ask yourself these questions:

Do I have passion in my life?

Am I living or just existing?

I think most reasons for starting to question your experiences come after what feels like mistake after mistake or failure after failure which I can easily identify with.  I’ve had my share of undesirable experiences and they have taught much more than I would have gained without them.  The answer is to reflect and review your past for present and future purposes but don’t stay there.  Creating a new familiar and normal will bring harmony and a peaceful state of existence to all your relationships that will have you aspiring to cultivate this in every area of your life.  I know it has for me!

A life that isn’t dependent upon any expectation but rather passionately thriving, embracing and celebrating all the positives that come your way, big or small.  When you have gratitude for the little things in life it makes the bigger things even more profound when they occur and they definitely will!

Create your new normal, life your best life and live it with passion!

 
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Posted by on April 6, 2018 in Blog

 

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Choosing the Higher Ground

By Picking your Battles

I heard the phrase “picking your battles” years ago in relation to parenting and while you may have the best intention for wanting to guide your children towards their best life you can’t expect to bulldoze your way through without allowing their inner spirit to also have a voice.  In picking the battles that are the most important to you as well as allowing those that are the most important to your children it provides them with the understanding for the foundation of compromise through communication and balance in finding middle ground.

While I had initially become aware of this during my daughter’s younger years what I’ve realized is that this expression is not isolated to just parenting your child.  It transcends into all relationships and is an important reminder for us all when working through any kind of difficulty.

Sometimes the more empowering path you can take is to choose the higher ground even when you feel you are in the right.  Wayne Dyer referenced this quote by R.J. Palacio “When given the choice between being right or being kind, choose kind”.  We should always be choosing kind, it’s not just about taking the moral high ground but also about embracing a little humility and grace for others along the way.  Sensitivity towards others even if it isn’t reciprocated is emancipation for your soul, a feeling you soon won’t forget and likely something you will want to repeat.

Forgiveness is a powerful thing, first for yourself and then for others.  Holding onto anger, resentment or bitterness damages more within you than against that which you despise, condemn or blame.

What has your disappointment cost you?

I think the best way to evaluate this is to look at how present a past experience is in your daily life, does it in any way inhabit your thoughts, words, behaviour or actions?  Is it preventing you from moving forward?  Is it influencing how you feel about yourself negatively?  Do you feel exhausted and drained so much so that you know your best option is to just put the baggage down and walk freely ahead?

What is your peace worth?

Peace of mind is not something you can buy but the value of your peace should be priceless!  It is only through letting go of that which no longer serves you that you find your peace.  Peace is whatever you define it to be for you whether that is harmony of the soul, freedom from disturbance or tranquility of the mind.  It is whatever resonates within that allows you complete relief from the burdens that have run you down and threaten your happiness in life.

What’s in your heart?

Stillness speaks volumes!  It’s so important to hear and heed the whispers, listen to what has been placed on your heart and you will find your passion and purpose.  No matter what that is, no matter how possible or impossible it seems, follow it.  Everything in us has been placed there for a reason, reasons you may not know yet but are meant to lead you into your best life.  Don’t challenge what you feel, embrace it.

What does your soul tell you?

While it’s important to follow your heart, it’s also important to listen to your soul, your inner voice, your gut instinct.  When you allow your heart (your emotion) to be heard and connect it with your soul (your inner voice) you become the spirit warrior you were meant to and everything that once felt like obstacles begin to fall away.  You allow yourself to live passionately which aligns you with your life’s purpose.  Don’t let yourself to settle for anything less!

Letting go to forgive, to heal, to move forward is for others but mostly for you, it allows you to accept and release yourself from the outcome you wanted and expected to see.

Raise yourself up and stand on the higher ground, some battles aren’t worth the fight especially if you lose something of yourself in it.  Return your power to where it belongs, with you!

 
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Posted by on March 30, 2018 in Blog

 

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Out With the Old

In With the New!

Your negative experiences do not need to define or dictate the direction of your life.  The only way they can is if you allow the views and/or perceptions of others to taint the colors that make up your palette of beautiful energy.

It’s hard enough at times to navigate through difficult experiences but when negative influences intrude and/or threaten your personal faith your ability to stand tall can be weakened.  A continuation in negative experiences increases that breakdown in well-being when you don’t allow yourself time to fully process and heal.

Shedding the layers that no longer serve, define or fit so you can step back into natural alignment with your authentic self is the healing process that will bring you closer to living your best life.  Most likely the beginning of this kind of process is motivated more out of necessity and you may have found yourself at the equivalent of an emotional “rock bottom” which is not as devastating in reality as you may be building it up to in your mind.

Your ego is not your friend and is the biggest deterrent for the connection between heart, mind and soul.  Your ego will help your mind to create an abundance of insurmountable obstacles and no solutions all in the effort to control.  The ego only serves the ego and seeks an exaggerated sense of importance.  None of which is connected to your heart or spirit and none of which is necessary to your personal sense of well-being.

The layers that negative experiences apply to your soul neither define you nor are they valid.  Shedding those layers of inconsistency from your soul is like taking off or getting rid of an old jacket that is no longer suitable, comfortable or flattering.

These experiences are not who you were, are or going to be and it’s time to start getting rid of that which no longer serves your higher purpose or being.

It begins with you, how you personally feel about yourself, your life and where it’s heading.  Don’t be discouraged!  Anything can be turned around for the better, you only lose if you don’t try or fail to see your options.

It’s important to always remember that your spirit is stronger than any difficulty coming your way, you are not given more than you can handle or more than you can master.

Your negative experiences are meant to build you greater than you may realize or imagine.  Every person has a specific destiny here and some of the strongest lessons meant to lead you to your purpose are only awakened through great difficulty.

Your positive experiences are your blessings, the bonuses brought in to strengthen and encourage your inner spirit so you stay strong, faithful and humble in the face of adversity.

Don’t let the protective layers built by your experiences color or shade any part of your palette of beautiful energy.  Let your inner light shine bright and sparkle with all the colors of your spirit!

 
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Posted by on March 23, 2018 in Blog

 

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You Want Something?

Then Go Get It!

In order to get something you’ve never had, you have to do something you’ve never done!  If there is something you want in life just wishing it was so isn’t enough.  You have to take action and do the work to attain it no matter how daunting things may seem at times.  Keep the faith, it’s usually the moment you decide to give up is right before the moment your dreams are to become a reality.

I know at times getting knocked down can be really discouraging but those are the times when you are truly being tested.  It is the time when your determination must be greater than your doubt, your passion too strong to allow for any other outcome.  Anything worth having, anything placed in your soul and your heart is worth fighting for even in the face of challenge.

Encouragement or discouragement can be the breaking point if you let it especially when time and patience are a requirement for your dream.

Don’t ever let anyone tell you what is not possible for you!  If you have a goal, a dream and you feel that when you share it with others they try to derail your plans and say it’s impossible then the solution is simple, only share your dreams with those who love and support your vision.  You need people around who motivate you not to give up, who remind you that you can do it, who dive into your vision with you and experience the glory of imagination and dream.

It doesn’t matter if you or anyone else may think on some level of “reality” that what you want is a pipe dream because I can assure you nothing is impossible for you!  The only time it becomes impossible is when you start to believe the naysayers, when you let the seeds of doubt creep in.  As long as you have passion to chase it with everything in you then impossible turns into I’m possible.

The world has become abundant with “instant gratification” in so many ways which has both good and bad sides to it.  I guess the upside is that you get something you want right away and you don’t have to wait but then how much do you value it, does it become a prized possession?  Likely not because prized possessions are usually something that you put blood, sweat and tears into which is why you cherish them.

So then the downside would be that you don’t appreciate what you’ve attained because it was too easy to get.  When you really have to work hard and wait for a dream to manifest you have no choice but to build your patience, for those of you that struggle with patience, like me, that is a task in itself.  When you do start to see things come to fruition it builds so much more; self-worth, self-esteem, pride, confidence, belief in yourself, inner strength and the list goes on.

When you’ve reached a goal or dream you tend to want to hold onto it more and not let it go, not gripping too tightly but in a treasured kind of way.  It becomes your personal badge of honor on your soul, not for others to be impressed by you but for you to feel proud of the commitment you nurtured into your reality.

If you feel there is something more you desire and you want more passion and purpose in your life start with where your heart goes when you let your mind wander.  The solutions lie within the stillness of your mind, in the quiet moments you hear the answers to your most pertinent questions.  You were not born to live a mediocre life, you are destined to live your best life!

Find your passion and it will lead you to your purpose!

 

 
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Posted by on March 16, 2018 in Blog

 

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Things May Change but ……

Your Heart Always Knows!

Don’t believe anything other than what you have placed inside your heart, you are the only one that knows what is true for you.  Let your belief in yourself be greater than any doubt whether that is internal dialogue created by external experiences or opinions.  Live only your truth!

The truth of who you really are, your deepest and secret desires, they have all been placed within from as far back as you can remember.  Those dreams you had early on in life may or may not have evolved much from your original vision but where they came from does not change.  Your heart wants what it wants and the only way to prevent inner conflict is not going against that.  Choose to support yourself and the dreams that the younger version of you had hoped for.  There is no guide or timeline to follow that says when you get to a certain point in life you have passed the opportunity of going after your dreams, your dreams do not have an expiry date!

Your heart always knows how to get you to where you want to go although that isn’t as easily followed as it may sound.  Your heart is vulnerable when being authentic and easily hurt yet strong enough to rise again when opposed.

I clipped a piece from Max Ehrmann’s “Desiderata” poem below which I felt was most in alignment in describing how special each of us are, your authentic self, without prejudice or compromise.

You are a child of the universe,
no less than the trees and the stars;
you have a right to be here.
And whether or not it is clear to you,
no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should. 

What is the true essence of your authentic self?

  • I think it takes a fair amount of time and experiences to find your comfort level with being genuine and it’s not just through the child and teen years that you can experience these growing pains. It’s through this growth though that your true essence takes on its beautiful and unique form.

Do you believe your authentic self is too vulnerable to show to others?

  • It’s strange that as you grow you are shaped by the ideas, opinions and definitions of “normal” as seen by the society around you. Ironically when you get to the point of showing your authenticity it’s not at all far from who you were at the beginning, you just have a little more wisdom and experience.

As your awareness to all these little nuances develop you will begin to see how they can positively enhance your life for the better and understand the power of a moment.

If you knew that every moment, every encounter and every experience in being authentic gives you the opportunity for a soul to soul connection you may start to realize how precious these moments of imprinting are.

It is within connecting that you develop those little moments, not with every single person but those you truly blend with and sometimes those you don’t expect to blend with.  That moment when nothing really monumental is happening but you feel instantaneously close with someone which I believe is a true soul to soul connection, an “authentic moment”.

If you haven’t had any experiences like this wouldn’t you want to?  Being authentic doesn’t just show your heart it allows your inner spirit to shine, connect and love.

There are many things we can learn from others through connecting.  I’ve had the privilege of connecting with others who unbeknownst to them have taught me through their example how and what to embrace to be the person I want to become.  One thing they all have in common is authenticity, a genuine compassion for others, a beautiful heart and of course a great sense of humor.

Through all of these impactful people I was liberated and at a pace that didn’t feel overwhelming, they all helped me to learn and love my authenticity, to feel comfortable and confident and to always follow my heart.

 
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Posted by on March 9, 2018 in Blog

 

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