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If You Change How You View Things

Then You’ll Change How You Do Things

Something Old:  Sadness from your experiences is a state of being and is supposed to be the temporary transition period until you have found healing.  It is when you stay in that space for too long that it begins to become a part of your life, the reason for not moving forward and harmful to your soul.

It is my observation when I see someone unhappy or dissatisfied in their life that they are not actually disconnected but most times just feeling that way.  Isolation of the soul can be more damaging to your quality of life but it is the ego’s way of controlling your thoughts and your thoughts can overshadow even the best of realities.  It isn’t always that others are against you as you may feel at times and when you change how you are viewing a situation in your life then it changes the entire validity of that negative thought.  This is not just a theory by Wayne Dyer about changing the way you look at things and the things you look at change, I have actually tested it and it proved to be true which effectively changed the dynamic of a relationship I had viewed differently as well as shifted it into a more positive direction.  Had I done this earlier I wouldn’t have had to endure the thoughts I created with my view for so long which caused discomfort, disharmony and friction.

This isn’t to say that sadness you experience is unfounded but rather that it doesn’t need to stay in the forefront of your thoughts and life for as long as you sometimes allow it.  I’m not discounting that there could be someone or something at the source of an unhappiness but when you know that what is the best route for your soul to take when this occurs?  As always remedies to anything isn’t a “one size fits all” type of decision and outcome but developing your awareness to recognize when you become stuck is how you eventually find your way out of that fray.  Whenever I experience difficulty I consciously step back and look for a different view or perspective because I am aware that the alternative is restrictive thought that can alter my quality of life and I would much rather look for the lesson than fan the flames of the issue.

My remedy?  It starts with communication; expressing and understanding how I, you and all of us affect others within the communications we have.  It is my thought that the biggest misunderstandings can be traced back to a breakdown in communication because this is how we connect with each other, how we are heard and how we are validated.  I understand the feeling of wanting to be heard and validated in the midst of a difficult conversation but when you offer the same in return to the other person you are opening the lines of communication back up and showing by example that you too are dedicated and compassionate about finding resolution.  It’s so much more important to be kind over being right!

You must be the change you wish to see in the world – Mahatma Gandhi

This is no different than any one person extending a piece of themselves compassionately and/or empathetically to nurture and nourish their family, their pet, a garden or those around them in their community.  This is what keeps that interconnected link between us all free and clear of the debris that can corrode and compromise it.

As you evolve letting go of thoughts, attitudes, behaviours and patterns that are no longer working for you relieves the burdens of stress and creates the space that allows for open thought and different views.  My resolve for this struggle in my life was to expand my awareness so I could recognize this for what it was, resistance.  I used to think of resistance in only one definition until I knew better.  In the past my association was relevant to participating in competitive sports as opposition.  Resistance to me was coming up against a roadblock to the direction in which I wanted to go.  What I’ve come to better understand is that at certain times in my life I have embraced resistance when I didn’t allow my natural path to flow unknowingly creating my own brand of opposition.  Of course as we all go through experiences we hopefully learn from them and for this particular aspect in my life I’ve gained an awareness of the part I have played when trying to direct my destiny instead of allowing it to unfold.

Resistance by definition is:  the refusal to accept or comply with something; the attempt to prevent something by action or argument.

I feel it’s just about being consciously alert to the changes that occur for you when resistance is on the horizon and channeling that energy into a more positive outlet to serve you better.

Something New:  I think the best direction to always go is toward the positive, well of course!  Obviously I don’t know everything there is to know about all things but what I do know is that you won’t exact change while embracing the energy that created an issue to begin with.  It is only through doing something different that different results occur.

Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different result – Albert Einstein

What separates us at times is ego, an ego unchecked, imbalanced and overexposed can become overwhelming not just to the people around but the one carrying the imbalance.  A good way to determine what you are projecting is by noticing what you are attracting.  What are your dominant thoughts and are they positive?  Do you see experiences occur in your life that coincide and/or support those dominant thoughts?  If these are not the experiences you want to see changing your views is the beginning.  When you invest more of yourself into the people and experiences it breathes new life into those connections much like the cup runneth over.  In turn you will find that as your energetic output positively changes so does theirs in response.

It is not any one person’s responsibility to fix we are all connected and here to work together.  It’s not enough that we hope someone else is taking care of things but rather that we all work as one, stronger and united in the common goal of caring, nurturing and growing the world around us positively.  Separation exists in ego form and serves only to honor its purpose which divides our souls in human existence only.

If you are looking for inspiration, choose the Lennon of your pleasure in the links below! 

While they are both gifted musically and creatively the messages at the forefront that resonate with me serve more as a collaborative guide with which to motivate and inspire us all to look within and help when and where you can.  If we are collectively all working to support and lift up those around us then the environment in which we live becomes the beautiful place it is supposed to be!

I love life, the people in it with me, experiencing joy with them and doing what l I can to preserve and not hurt the natural beauty of the environment we’ve been blessed to enjoy.

Imagine – John Lennon ………. “You may say I’m a dreamer but I’m not the only one”

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jluuMN3xGU0

Saltwater – Julian Lennon ……… “We are a billion children rolled into one”

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lk6QLXWL-Io

 
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Posted by on May 19, 2018 in Blog

 

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Simplicity at it’s Best!

Dialing things down

We all have our own truth and what fits for you isn’t always going to fit with everyone else, it’s just a matter of respecting that without trying to change another’s outlook or point of view to fit your ideals.  As passionate as you can become about trying to get others to see your point of view sometimes it’s best to let things be and allow people to have their own truth as they see it, even if you believe your way is better for them.  How much is your peace of mind or serenity worth to you in the big picture?  What does serenity mean to you?

Of course it is all about the quote in accepting the things you cannot change, having the courage to change the things you can and having the wisdom to know the difference but how do you really find that acceptance when you are trying to force someone to see your truth or point of view?  It’s so important to be mindful about picking your battles and knowing what is really worth you pushing to be right when it comes to the more minor issues.

I find that the things that bothered me when I was younger don’t really carry as much weight now, not because they don’t matter but rather because if I dial it down a bit to be at the level I could have started from I wouldn’t have got myself so out of sorts.  I think most times when you find yourself getting worked up about an issue that wouldn’t normally escalate to where you’ve brought it to that is the sign that it is not really the core of what is bothering you and a more in depth look within is needed to find out exactly what the core of that issue is.

I think you will be surprised at how far off the issue you actually are when you do that in depth look within and it usually stems from an unhealed wound from the past.  These are just triggers, like signposts to remind you that you’ve gotten yourself off course from your destined path.  The resistance you feel within is a manifestation of your soul trying to get your attention and guide you back onto your path.  I think deep within you know when you are off course mostly because you feel frustrated and anxious about the things going on around you and how out of alignment they feel.  Most times you are actually personally disconnected from your soul and need to re-build your inner power.

So what is your truth?  Are you trying to pressure your thoughts or ideas onto someone else because you think you know better?  Honestly do you really think you know more than your maker?  I don’t think I would be so bold as to declare that I do.  There is still much more for me to learn and when I dial things back to the level they should really be at it really helps me to keep things in the right perspective.

Your own personal soul work is a lot harder to look at than pointing out what others are doing wrong and I’m sure your ego would strongly agree.  Are you letting your ego, the part of you that says but you just don’t understand, you’re not personally involved, you weren’t there and so many other excuses to support that argument?  Your ego isn’t in it for you to evolve, not a chance, your ego is in it to win it and to serve the higher purpose of supporting being right.  At all times being right isn’t as important as being kind which I’m sure you would agree if you were on the other end of being treated unkindly.

What part of dialing things down will help you live a much healthier and simplistic lifestyle for the purpose of peace of mind and/or serenity?  How much is that state of being worth to you?  To me it’s priceless!  Nothing is worth the battle, it doesn’t mean you are surrendering, submitting or saying someone else is right, it means you are saying I value my peace more than the dispute.  It means you are saying the benefits of continuing down a path of disagreement isn’t worth my peace of mind or the damage it can do to me within or my relationship with the other person.

Dialing things down and embracing simplicity in every aspect of your life allows you to find humility, gratitude, tranquility, serenity and an easier path.  I would rather travel on the path of peace than that of anxiety and conflict.  This doesn’t mean I am a doormat and never stand up for the things that matter but I have learned to determine what matters most for me and what doesn’t.  Knowing and understanding what my truth is and developing healthy boundaries hopefully inspires others to find theirs as well.

Simplicity is simply that!

 

 
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Posted by on April 13, 2018 in Blog

 

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Something’s Gotta Give!

When You’ve Gone Too Far Down the Rabbit Hole

Ever get to the point where you feel so overwhelmed in every area of life that the only resolve seems to be that “something’s gotta give?”

Life gets busy and sometimes you’re so hectic that you dig yourself so far down the rabbit hole you can’t see which way is up or out.

This kind of stress puts a significant strain on every part of your mental, spiritual and physical health which can manifest in a variety of ways producing outcomes that can challenge the state of your mindset. I’ve had experiences that have been extremely challenging and at times have caused me moments of what felt like extreme anxiety, finding an effective way to cope can be difficult but very necessary.

There are many areas of life that can cause stress; work, money, health, family, etc., and even though these are all valid stress points in life they can take a greater toll when you push back against what is meant to be. I believe that everything we go through happens for a reason, whether difficult or not, they are all there to help you gain a greater understanding and connection to your life and everyone in it.

The duress of this emotional baggage when constantly compiled on the soul eventually must find a way out and be purged, whatever outlet that may be through. For me, I write and that seems to be a great form or therapy because purging emotional stress is usually done through some form of communication to simply “get things off your chest”. Writing or journaling can be an effective outlet especially if you do not have someone to talk things through with to help you release it.

Alternatively it may not be that you don’t have someone there to talk to but rather some things just don’t feel like they can be communicated and/or articulated, sometimes you just have to find your own process for letting things go, put your faith in a higher power so that you can free yourself from that which is holding you back.

dark place

Not everything difficult is there to bring you down, maybe sometimes to humble you a bit if your ego gets a little too inflated, but ultimately there is some form or wisdom attached and if you don’t embrace it you’re going to keep going through it until you finally do. I don’t believe that these lessons are meant to break you but rather break you open so not only are you vulnerable but there are no walls left to resist what you are meant to learn and grow towards.

I think everyone has the moments of feeling despair but those moments are only part of the process and not supposed to continue on forever. At some point if you aren’t transitioning toward the next phase it means you are resisting and I know that resisting feels like the natural response and for a while it serves its purpose by allowing you the armor that protects while you digest and adjust.

Once you reach the point of when you are no longer able to continue your resistance this is when the lesson breaks through, it is the emotional equivalent of “rock bottom for the soul” because there is finally nothing more standing in the way of the healing that is now able to come through. Following healing comes enlightenment, “aha” moments and a stronger feeling of connection to not only the universe but all the people in it.

The humbling aspect of lessons is that they teach you gratitude, appreciation, compassion and empathy for others, what is released is judgement, anger, entitlement and egotistical rule.

Sometimes I think you can see what phases of these kinds of processes (experiences) others are in because it’s almost like those that are at the most wound up are almost at the beginning and on the verge of being broken open and those that breathe love and lack of judgement are just coming through the end.

Whatever phase you may feel you are in during a dark or difficult experience know that the only way to get through is to let go of your resistance. Know that there is wisdom, clarity and peace of mind on the other side of the storm but only if you allow it to crash and bang when it needs to, take cover and when the light starts to come back know that you won’t be the same person that went in.

All things happen when they are meant to and how they are meant to, you will never miss something that is truly meant to be in your life it will always finds its way to you and in the right time.

same person from the storm

 
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Posted by on June 1, 2015 in Blog

 

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The Universe Knows More Than I

Resistance is Futile!

There is no point in challenging the Universe!  I have learned to accept this because the Universe knows more than I do about what is on the horizon and my life always adjusts accordingly, my resistance is futile!

Change happens and how well the transition goes depends on how well I adapt to it and how willing I am to accept it.  One thing I’ve noticed, for myself especially, is that change is just about to happen when I feel like I’m at a low point.  Like the calm before the storm, it’s that quieter moment when it feels like nothing is happening or is going to happen and then all of a sudden it does and how I respond determines how many opportunities arise as a result.

lion,change quote

If I resist, then the amount of opportunities diminish, not for any other reason than my resistance has squelched the momentum.  They are called opportunities because they require your call to action; some of them are fleeting moments and you need to act right away and some hang around available for a longer period of time.  I’ve found that the bigger opportunities involve bigger risks and by risks I mean vulnerability, when I’m scared of that moment I’ve found it’s usually a big opportunity and one that advances me much farther in my personal development and goals.

If I embrace, then more opportunities arise because I am keeping the momentum on an upward swing and embracing is a positive responsive action, positive actions create positive results, always!  Opportunities have a way of expanding if you give them the room to grow and evolve and the more room you give them the wider the spectrum becomes which equals more options.  The more options I have or create for myself the easier my life becomes.  Without options I feel stifled and trapped, unable to have the room to breathe that I need and that feeling prevents other options from arising, it can also manifest in other ways through physical or emotional well-being.

Learn how to inspire yourself when needed, not every day is a fantastic day, down time is essential to keep life balanced but finding the things that can change how your day is going in a positive way when you most need it is an important skill to develop.

Learn to recognize when change is on the horizon for you, what it feels like, how it affects you and how to utilize all the positive aspects to increase your opportunities. 

–          Be aware but don’t be afraid.

–          Take chances but know your limitations.

–          Be realistic but believe in your dreams.

Always know that you can do anything you want as long as your heart and mind are truly in it.  The only person that ever stands in your way is you, not the Universe.

The Universe supports your path even if you haven’t yet realized which path that is, it will constantly lead and inspire you to move in that direction.

trust the universe

 
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Posted by on February 6, 2014 in Blog

 

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What is More Important?

Being Right or Being Happy

In my opinion being right is not worth jeopardizing being happy!  It takes negative energy to hold on to the emotion that maintains the ego when it insists on “being right”.  Negativity in any form is not time well spent and being right will never be as fulfilling as being happy.

being right quote

I have been guilty myself of wasting my time feeding that emotion but thankfully I did not waste as much time as I could have because I value my happiness and positive state of being more than my ego.

I believe that the insistence of being right comes from a place of insecurity, feeling inadequate, invisible and invalidated.  “Being right” brings a feeling of being in control, respected and admired, something that an insecure person is not likely to feel on any given day so the insistence of being right is very necessary not only to the ego but to the psyche and state of being.  When someone feels invisible this may be the only validation they feel they have so it becomes very, very important.  My wish for those that feel the negativity of insecurity is that someone in their life is able to open up their world so they can see that it is this emotion of insecurity that is inhibiting their happiness more than anything else.

It takes more energy to feed negative emotions then it does positive.  All things negative feel heavy and draining, all things positive feel lighter and flow with ease, it is the resistance to the positive that drains the energy levels in our bodies and wears us out.

Have you ever noticed that when you have been resistant to something, regardless of whether you thought it was negative or positive, that it has been a draining experience just to fight it and when you run out of energy and give up, it’s like a weight has been lifted.  The release of that weight is the “letting go” of the resistance and I have found that when I have recognized I’m resisting and allow myself to “let go” I have later asked myself “why didn’t I realize this earlier?  I could have saved myself all the heartache that went with resisting.”

I have found it quite educational to observe how different each of us are, how that difference affects how we interact with each other and how that interaction reflects on each of us.  My observation of people that have insecurity is that they desire attention but that their behaviour and the way they interact usually offends others which has the opposite effect of what they desire.

I’ve observed people that are confident and have great social interaction with others and it seems obvious that the reason for these qualities they possess is because they are more concerned with being happy than being noticed.  When they communicate with others it is because they enjoy the social interaction and are interested in what others have to say.

I’ve observed people that are in between these two ends of the spectrum and I’ve found that I’ve learned something from everyone that has crossed my path.

The one thing we all have in common is that we are all trying our best with what we know to navigate our way through the tests, the lessons, the joys and the blessings, and if we are lucky we come out of each with more knowledge and appreciation then we went in with.

life quote

 
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Posted by on April 17, 2013 in Blog

 

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Change is Inevitable!

Let Go and Embrace It

Sometimes when we are forced into actions it’s because we should have found the way ourselves, sometimes when change occurs it’s because it’s long overdue, and sometimes we make the transition effortlessly.  Whichever way it happens is something that will be specific to each of us as individuals but the circumstances surrounding any change will be determined by either your resistance or acceptance.  I have travelled both paths at different times in my life and I can definitely say that acceptance is the easier of the two.  Resistance has always brought me disappointment, hurt, frustration and overall a heavy dose of unnecessary stress.  For some individuals change can be very challenging for reasons other than just resisting or accepting. 

change

There are many reasons why we resist:

–          We think we know better

–          It’s unknown and we feel vulnerable and/or a little scared

–          Others are advising us to go that route

Of course the ego always thinks it knows better and it’s easy for you to convince yourself that you do know better, that ego is connected to you.  I’m not saying you have no idea what’s going on, I’m just saying that every time I’ve allowed my ego to run the show it hasn’t been a good idea because as much as the ego may think it knows better, ultimately it doesn’t.  The ego isn’t tapped into the same frequency as the universal mind so it can’t possibly know everything.

When things are unknown they can leave you feeling vulnerable and a little scared of what’s to come as well as hesitant to take that step forward.  When I’ve had this feeling it’s been because I was on the verge of experiencing a major change and positive growth that I couldn’t have possibly foreseen.  Every time so far it has been a positive step forward for me so I’ve learned to recognize when that moment comes around that I definitely want to go in that direction, experience has taught me that.

I don’t mind constructive criticism, it helps me to learn and grow as an individual but I don’t usually welcome being told what to do.  Somewhere in my psyche I find that in those times I become resistant because I feel pressured to go in the direction that someone is advising me.  Now that person may not actually be pressuring me but I may be receiving it that way and reacting because of that sense.  Some people will actually go in an entirely different direction simply because someone is advising them one way and even if they know it’s the right way to go they go in another direction because they are so resistant to the direction and/or assistance.

Regardless of what reasoning you have behind it chances are your resistance is causing you more stress overall than if you were to just let go and let things happen as they are meant to.

Change overall is the universe’s way of transitioning us into the direction we are meant to go and when you ignore the signs and resist the change you are only causing yourself more difficulty and stress.  When you are resisting change, the universe sometimes responds with a jolt in the direction you’re supposed to be going so if your life suddenly changes I believe it’s because you’ve been ignoring the signs for so long that this is the only way the universe can alert you.  Sometimes this alert can cause you to experience hurt emotions and I don’t believe that this is any sort of payback or karma, it’s just that if you get too far off your path there’s only one way for the universe to get you back on it in time.

Be mindful, stay aware and tuned in to what’s going on around you, pay attention to your path, the signs and those in your life.  We are all here to bring meaning to each other’s lives, teach, learn and grow.  Let your desires help lead you to your passion and purpose, don’t be in too much of a rush, it will find you when the time is right.

dreams for our life

 
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Posted by on December 11, 2012 in Blog

 

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Lessons, Lessons, Lessons!

Embracing Them All

I really believe that everything happens for a reason and as it should in the right time, although I’ve had my faith significantly challenged in these beliefs at times which has led me to question certain occurrences in my life.  I’ve come to the conclusion in the last little while that regardless of how difficult it may be, embracing the lesson may be the answer.  Even the lessons that don’t seem like there is a conclusion to, I think sometimes, embracing the lesson is the conclusion.

I have both resisted and accepted different lessons I’ve experienced, and so far resistance has been the most harmful to me and has caused the negativity attached to the lesson to drag on for much longer than it needed to.  As well, I noticed when resisting that the lesson has continued to appear in my life, whether I liked it or not, through different scenarios and/or people, until I was finally able to acknowledge, understand and progress from it. 

On almost every lesson I’ve had so far I’ve discovered that there was a need that I wasn’t aware of and wasn’t allowing to be fulfilled because my ego was quite sure it knew what the need was and was searching in the wrong place.  With my ego venturing off believing it knew best, I’ve wondered if it is possible for those in our circle to get caught in the middle of a lesson that is not part of their path simply because of their placement and vice versa.  When you are emotionally attached to someone it can be hard to sit back and let them lead, especially if you feel you can help, but ultimately it is their lesson and not our place to invade.

What does one do when they find themselves in this situation?  I believe that our awareness and inner voice (gut instinct) will let us know when that is the case and guide us to step back, the challenge is whether or not we listen to it.  The best I’ve found is to offer but not insist, you can’t steer someone else’s ship but you can help guide them through the rocks.

My thoughts have started to sway towards an understanding in the divinity of it all, are these really mistakes?  Or are they guided interventions that the universe is arranging to help us move in the direction of the path we are meant to be on?  I’ve realized that without some of the more challenging lessons I’ve had there may have been so many areas of thought, intention, passion and purpose I may not have discovered.

My curiosity is these different areas of thought are strong and I like investigating all the options, if I don’t I leave myself without possibilities.  It’s the possibilities that create the energy I need to sustain myself through the difficult times and it helps me to find a way to dance when it rains.

I’ve found that embracing all the lessons is providing me with a calmer sense of being, energized intention and a stronger insight into enjoying the journey.

 
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Posted by on October 16, 2012 in Blog

 

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