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What is More Important?

Being Right or Being Happy

In my opinion being right is not worth jeopardizing being happy!  It takes negative energy to hold on to the emotion that maintains the ego when it insists on “being right”.  Negativity in any form is not time well spent and being right will never be as fulfilling as being happy.

being right quote

I have been guilty myself of wasting my time feeding that emotion but thankfully I did not waste as much time as I could have because I value my happiness and positive state of being more than my ego.

I believe that the insistence of being right comes from a place of insecurity, feeling inadequate, invisible and invalidated.  “Being right” brings a feeling of being in control, respected and admired, something that an insecure person is not likely to feel on any given day so the insistence of being right is very necessary not only to the ego but to the psyche and state of being.  When someone feels invisible this may be the only validation they feel they have so it becomes very, very important.  My wish for those that feel the negativity of insecurity is that someone in their life is able to open up their world so they can see that it is this emotion of insecurity that is inhibiting their happiness more than anything else.

It takes more energy to feed negative emotions then it does positive.  All things negative feel heavy and draining, all things positive feel lighter and flow with ease, it is the resistance to the positive that drains the energy levels in our bodies and wears us out.

Have you ever noticed that when you have been resistant to something, regardless of whether you thought it was negative or positive, that it has been a draining experience just to fight it and when you run out of energy and give up, it’s like a weight has been lifted.  The release of that weight is the “letting go” of the resistance and I have found that when I have recognized I’m resisting and allow myself to “let go” I have later asked myself “why didn’t I realize this earlier?  I could have saved myself all the heartache that went with resisting.”

I have found it quite educational to observe how different each of us are, how that difference affects how we interact with each other and how that interaction reflects on each of us.  My observation of people that have insecurity is that they desire attention but that their behaviour and the way they interact usually offends others which has the opposite effect of what they desire.

I’ve observed people that are confident and have great social interaction with others and it seems obvious that the reason for these qualities they possess is because they are more concerned with being happy than being noticed.  When they communicate with others it is because they enjoy the social interaction and are interested in what others have to say.

I’ve observed people that are in between these two ends of the spectrum and I’ve found that I’ve learned something from everyone that has crossed my path.

The one thing we all have in common is that we are all trying our best with what we know to navigate our way through the tests, the lessons, the joys and the blessings, and if we are lucky we come out of each with more knowledge and appreciation then we went in with.

life quote

 
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Posted by on April 17, 2013 in Blog

 

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Negativity Bites!

There are Definitely Side Effects

We develop a connection to everything that inhabits our thoughts (whether we intend to or not), any kind of conversation that is meant to reflect on another person in a negative light is something that I don’t have any desire to make connection to but there are times when we either consciously or unknowingly enter into that zone.

I have had instances where I am in a conversation with someone and somewhere around the middle that person begins to speak negatively about another person (sometimes someone I know and sometimes not).  Either way I find at that point I feel trapped because I am already engaged in the conversation and I don’t want to be rude but:

–          Do I stop them in mid-sentence and tell them I can’t continue because it feels too negative and degrading to that person?

–          Or do I allow them to continue because I’ll just tune it out and eventually they will be done because I don’t want the conflict or discomfort?

negativity breeds

It’s a sensitive decision because you don’t want to offend the person you are talking with and no one wants to hear that you don’t want to listen to what they have to say but at the same time why should you have to be subjected to the negativity and possibly be infected by it?

I’ve determined that there are 3 reasons people may choose to speak of others in a negative light.

  1. They get some sort of pleasure out of another’s misfortune
  2. They themselves are insecure and feel much more empowered about their own life
  3. There is some sort of payoff (whatever that may be)

Ultimately when you are speaking of anyone in a negative light you are creating a cycle of negativity within yourself that will continue to spin and not in a good way.

Negativity bites!  Once you start down that path it can spiral you into an even more negative place, a place that you never thought you’d be in and you may wonder how you got there to begin with.  I believe it starts with the thought, that thought connects to your emotion and then the words start to flow in that direction.

Disconnecting from that cycle is the best conscious decision you can make for yourself and finding a way that works best for you to enforce those boundaries needs to feel comfortable to be successful.

I think that the best solution for me is to relay to the person I am talking with that I do not feel comfortable talking about another person in a negative manner.  I am definitely sensitive in many different areas of my life and enforcing boundaries continues to be a challenge but one that I must persevere in so that I continue to live my life in way that doesn’t feel disloyal to my inner spirit.

live-without-pretending

 
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Posted by on March 20, 2013 in Blog

 

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