Monthly Archives: August 2013

All Good Things in the Right Time!

Allowing the Universe to Set the Pace

I have my beliefs that I follow, one of them is having faith that things work out as they should and when they should, fighting or resisting the natural flow is pointless and usually very frustrating so it’s better for me to do what I need to do and allow the Universe to respond and set the pace.

I have many life goals that I want to achieve, all of which I have initiated and the most important aspect that I have to remain true to, is faith that the Universe will present the right opportunities when the time is perfectly right and not to try to force anything ahead of what is already divinely arranged.

The Universe provides us all with what we need but knows when the time is right and when we are most open to receive, accept and embrace.  I think there are definitely times when we don’t realize that we aren’t fully open and could be blocking ourselves in some way that isn’t easily recognizable for us so that we could change it.  I know that there have been a few times where I’ve thought “I’m ready” but things aren’t happening the way I’d hoped or when I’d hoped.  What I’ve realized much later is even though I thought was ready, it turns out I wasn’t, I just thought I was and thought I knew better but that was the ego thinking  (EGO:  Edging God Out – as in removing faith in what you cannot see)

I’m not over the top in my beliefs and everyone has their own right to choose, I’ve learned what works for me and what doesn’t and I have adjusted and lived my life accordingly.  Everyone should have the right to choose their own path and not be forced or coerced down one that doesn’t fully feel right or aligned with their inner core.  As much as I’d like to at times help or direct someone I care about down a path that I feel is best for them it is not my place to do so and I don’t walk in their shoes every day so I am not aware of all that occurs within, nor do I have the right to judge which path they choose, that is the beauty of “free will”.  Live and let live, I know I don’t like being told how I should be doing things so why should I expect that anyone else would.  I am always open and appreciative to hear the opinion and/or advice of others I respect and admire but the final decisions are ultimately mine to make.

Our ego can get the better of us at times because it inflates and infuses our thoughts into an over-exaggerated belief of self-prominence and knowledge.  What I’ve usually discovered later down the road in hindsight is usually very humbling and expands my awareness to a greater degree.

I believe the best course of action is to lay the groundwork, let the Universe respond when the time is right and be open to waiting for it and taking advantage of the opportunity when it presents itself, you will “feel it” when the opportunity is right, do not hesitate, seize the moment.  Trusting and believing that things will happen as they should and when they should is the key to enhancing your patience.  If something doesn’t go the way you’d hoped it usually takes you into a newer and better direction, one that turns out to be a better plan that maybe you never had thought of or considered.  Every single time I have maintained my belief and faith I have been rewarded with more opportunities than I could have imagined and that is enough of an indication for me to stay on the same track because it works great!  I don’t need to push the boundaries because things always tend to even out in the end so putting myself through additional stress trying to push or force something to happen is pointless.

faith quote

Like I said earlier I have many life goals that I’ve initiated, I have many hopeful desires for life direction that I will continue to focus my strongest thoughts on and I will do all that I need to achieve them but without force because the Universe will present the opportunities and if it isn’t what I’d hoped for, I know it will be something better, experience has taught me that lesson.

Remember your thoughts (positive or negative) are just as strong an influence on the direction your life goes as anything in your life and what you most think about will show up in your life so be very aware of what thoughts you have in both your conscious and sub-conscious mind.  In my opinion it is the sub-conscious mind that has the most power (the sub-conscious runs continually), you can say to yourself consciously that you wish and desire things one way but if you feel deep down (sub-consciously) that your thoughts really don’t fully believe than you could be your own downfall.

As an example to illustrate this theory, I myself utilize this same thought process but I also read it as an excerpt from one of the contributing writers in the book “The Secret”.  A woman spoke of having issues with her weight her whole life and when she started to utilize the theories in the “The Secret” that changed.  Her sub-conscious thoughts used to fully support her reasoning for having difficulty with controlling her weight, how she couldn’t lose it no matter how many different diets she tried or how much exercise she did.

In case you aren’t seeing what the common denominator is here she kept reinforcing negative thoughts that backed up why she couldn’t shed the unwanted pounds:

–         I tried exercise but can’t lose any weight

–         Everything I eat goes to my waist

–         I’ve tried all diets and nothing keeps it off

All of her inner responses and sub-conscious thoughts were reinforcing and allowing the negative to keep operating against her with excuses as to why it wasn’t working, making it ok to fail and justifying it.

It really does all begin with changing your thoughts as to where you can progress to and having faith that things will go in the direction you want.  So she changed her thoughts and reinforced them with positive ones

–         Exercise is taking off the excess I want to discard

–         Nothing is going to stick to me

–         This new diet of moderation with occasional reward is working

By the end of the story the woman had said she was down to her goal weight and maintaining it because of this change of thought process and that was within not only the conscious but sub-conscious mind.  You need to have both on board to be able to effect the change you want to see.

The same enhancement of thought goes for everything in your life including your faith and state of being and even though I’ve had my moments of doubt (which I believe everyone has at one time or another, it’s only natural and human), but bringing myself back to center and positive thinking will bring a much more relaxed state of happiness and healthy living.

–         Be Aware

–         Be Open

–         Be Gracious

–         Be Humble

The Universe will give you what you need when you live in these states of being.  Always remember that things could be so much worse and that breath of life is a gift that shouldn’t go unappreciated.

just have a little faith


Posted by on August 31, 2013 in Blog


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A Very Challenging Time

My Daughter’s Scoliosis Journey

I started writing this post the night before my daughter was scheduled to go in for her first of two surgeries last week for correction of Scoliosis but I just couldn’t keep my mind focused or distracted enough on anything for any length of time to finish it.  My mind was clouded and consumed with many thoughts and they fluctuated into good and bad areas frequently.  The night before I was working hard to embrace my optimism and feeling very positive that the surgery was going to be seamless, after all it was her 10th surgery and she’s blown through all of them like a trooper but my underlying state was anxiety and fear, which is something I always have because there is something about anesthetic that scares me.  I knew that the recovery was expected to be long and possibly quite painful and like any parent, my strongest desire was to alleviate any and all discomfort she experienced but that was something I knew I would have absolutely no control over.

Regardless of how medically necessary I knew it was for her to have this surgery and no matter how many positive thoughts I had about how she would be down the road, I knew that it was the time in between those two points that was going to be difficult.

The doctor had advised that Scoliosis surgery is one of the big ones, right up there with heart surgery and I had to keep reminding myself that the best thing for me to focus on was that it could be worse.  She could have had something medical develop that has a lower likelihood of a positive outcome which some kids and parents have to go through and accept and of course I’m sure like every other parent that has to watch their child endure a big challenge, you can feel overwhelmed and helpless.  The need and desire to protect and “take away the hurt” is how I relate to hearing parents say the familiar phrase to their kids “this is going to hurt me more than it hurts you”.  It really does feel like you are bearing the entire weight of it all or trying to at least, and surprisingly most kids power through these things better than we might have initially expected.

I firmly believe that “Everything Happens for a Reason” and even though I don’t know what that reason is yet, I do know one thing for sure is that my daughter and I will be even more strongly bonded from going through this together then we were before.Felicity Scoliosis June 2013 - Cropped

I’m hoping these X-ray picture attachments are viewable for everyone, this one is a month before the surgery, it is a front view, her curve was on the right side of her torso on her back so her rib cage on the right side looked almost like it was winged out.  A curve of this degree (92%) and even further puts a lot of pressure on many different areas of the body, my daughter is special needs and non-verbal so knowing exactly how it was affecting her was not precise but I did notice that her oxygen capacity was definitely compromised, she tired just from walking across the room.  From December of last year to April of this year she had lost 25 pounds because she just wasn’t eating her usual, again hard to know exactly how strongly it was affecting her but the X-ray also showed that her spine was pushing inward as well which meant her stomach capacity may be compromised, hence the weight loss and lack of regular feed.

When the decision was finalized that a surgery date needed to be set it seemed like the worst day but as the time drew closer to that date I saw her quality of life was diminishing with each day that passed so I started to feel that the surgery couldn’t come soon enough, it seemed like she was suffering.

The surgery had to be done in two stages, each surgery is quite long in duration so doing the entire procedure at once was too much.  The first surgery had one hiccup but it wasn’t severe.  Like everything in the medical field, advancement in all procedures are ever evolving so the procedure for this surgery had a “less invasive advancement”, unfortunately my daughter’s system was so compromised from the curvature that the classic procedure was needed.  It was no worse off and she came through it really well.

The plan was to do the surgeries back to back so the 2nd stage was set for the following morning and it was the longer of the two procedures.  This is where things took a different turn which wasn’t necessarily a complication but rather a forced delay because her doctor is meticulous about every aspect of his patient’s well-being (one of the main reasons I have so much respect for him), so the last couple hours of the surgery were to be completed on a third day, again slated for the following morning.

All of these changes were very difficult for me and I spent a lot of time reeling myself from one end of the emotional spectrum to the other which was definitely not going to do either myself or my daughter any good.  From the time my daughter was born (prematurely 14 years ago) I’ve had to step back and let doctors do what they need to do and trust that they are doing the right thing.  As a parent our programming is to protect and when you are forced out of that space because you aren’t able to give them what they need it can be difficult, terrifying and overwhelming.  Even though I am a positive minded person when any sort of complication or delay arose I would find my thoughts racing into the worst places and I was unable to control them.  My logical and intellectual mind was completely overruled and overwhelmed by my emotional connection to my daughter, she is absolutely everything in my heart and it killed me to not be able to do anything.  Even now when I think about it I still feel emotional, I think it’s impossible to separate the two when it comes to our children, no matter how strong you are.

The doctor successfully completed her surgery and she is now beautifully straight and has many opportunities for advancement ahead of her.  I don’t think I could fully convey my gratitude toward the doctor and his team for basically saving her life, she can breathe with ease now.  Without this surgery she could have had a multitude of medical difficulties that could plague her continually into the future, let alone the fact that her oxygen intake was on a steady decline and there’s no way to know how much but with the direction she had been heading it didn’t seem positive.  Simply stated, without breath, you don’t have life.Felicity Scoliosis Aug 2013 - Cropped

This X-ray picture is post-surgery, she now has a rod fused to either side of her spine in the thoracic region and many screws (I think 11 a side, total 22) to keep the rods in place to her spine.  It sounds really harsh, and it is, and honestly I’m surprised in a week after surgery she doesn’t have a lot of pain, part of that is that she does have a high pain tolerance but I also think it is a good indication of how much pain and/or discomfort she was in enduring prior to the surgery.

There were additional issues into recovery, the biggest concern is always infection because this is such a big surgery and unfortunately my daughter ended up with 2 infections.  The full extent and effect these infections had on my daughter’s threshold and tolerance cannot fully be determined but she ended up having a seizure on day 3 post-op and honestly that just did me in.  My own tolerance for remaining strong was severely challenged at that point and my mind could no longer carry my positive thoughts, I was devastated and terrified.  The good news is that the infections she developed are treatable and the seizure could have been caused by all the extenuating factors that contributed to her low threshold.  Regardless, as a precautionary measure she is being treated for an additional infection to cover off the seizure, which is believed to be associated with Meningitis.  As I stated earlier all of these infections are treatable, serious but treatable so I know the worst is over.

I think besides the fact that I’d had little sleep due to worry and anxiety over her well-being and surgical outcome, the most difficult aspect was trying to absorb all the information the various doctors now involved because of the seizure were advising.  The doctors have their own language and get involved in discussion while trying to find the best course of action, unfortunately for the layman that isn’t knowledgeable on medical terms it can be scary to listen to so it’s really important to ask questions to clarify so you aren’t left with your own thoughts as I was.  My imagination has always been something I’ve had to reel in because left to my own devices I will blow things farther out of proportion than they are and in a medical situation like this I can be my own worst enemy.

That all being said, after much clarification and solid discussion with the many specialists I have finally been able to direct my efforts to what my daughter and I do best together, which is recovery.  A little hard work has never deterred either of us and it won’t now, she is on the mend and onto a healthier and happier life.



a life that matters


Posted by on August 25, 2013 in Blog


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Things I’ve Learned So Far

And;  Where they’ve taken me

  • The ONLY disability in life is a bad attitude!

I Give Up, it’s too hard!  Have you ever said or thought this?  The biggest downside to this thought is that you will get what you give out in this situation.  If you’re feeling like your life isn’t going in the direction you want it to, it’s up to YOU to change directions.  If you got lost in a forest would you:

–         Wait and hope that someone finds you

–         Or keep trying to find your way out

number one reason for giving up

I won’t say I’ve never allowed my attitude to get out of balance, honestly I don’t think it’s gone entirely in the bad attitude direction but I’ve teetered on the edge and have usually found that the energy associated with it just doesn’t fit for me.  It makes me feel like I have the flu and I fight hard to rid myself of it.

I believe it’s human to experience all spectrums of emotion, it becomes difficult when we sit too long in the negative ones which gives them the chance to take root, fester and grow.

  • Sometimes I overthink things.

I’ve done this A LOT!  Having a visual mind can work great wonders for you but with the wrong sense behind it, like fear, it can lead you to a whole lot of anxiety.  This has been recent for me:

In the last 4 months I’ve learned that my 14 year old daughter has to have surgery for Scoliosis and with fear in my very visual mind it took me through a lot of bad thought processes.  One of the reasons I went through those areas is because she’s my child, my baby and always will be but also because she was born at 6 months and weighed (1lb, 7 ounces) which is really premature and right from the very beginning I had to relinquish my protective mothering rights to doctors who could help her to survive such an early arrival.  Needless to say it was not easy to watch them poke and prod and even though I knew they were doing everything they could to help her it’s hard to be so helpless when as a mother your main job is to protect.  So now she has to endure yet another big milestone in her life and what I’ve realized is that even though the milestones may look different for each family they usually involve some form of letting go.  I have to let go of the fear and allow the positive strength I know we both have to guide us through it and I know we will come out on the other side more strongly bonded then we were before.

  • Strength in Self is Paramount.

Is your spirit so broken that you can’t find a way out of the disappointment?  I think if you believe that to be true of yourself, you absolutely must change that thought and get it working for you instead of working against you.  Your strength in self in all situations and specifically your inner dialogue can either impede your growth or encourage it.

Pastor Rick Warren says about painful experiences that “God never wastes a hurt”.

All experiences, good or bad ultimately teach us something and our gratitude towards these experiences can either diminish our light or ignite it.  If you feel like negativity is pulling you down, neutralize it by surrounding yourself with those that inspire you and lift you up.

  • Leader or a follower?

I prefer to direct and lead my own path but I will follow a good leader.  If I follow someone and they lead me down the wrong path is it their fault for leading me there?  Or is my fault for following?  In my opinion it is neither, because I made the choice to follow for a reason, somewhere it served a greater purpose for me and even though I may not realize what has driven me in that direction yet it will all come to light at the right time.

Everything happens for a Reason!

  • Faith!

Self-explanatory really, you’ve got to have faith if you ever hope to achieve your greatest desires.  Having faith helps you to develop greater clarity and love in your sense of self as well as personal development.  Sometimes we start out on our path believing what we envision as our greatest desires only to discover later that they weren’t what we thought at all and are led, through faith, to an even better outcome than could possibly be imagined.  So far my life has taken me in and through experiences that have challenged me and have given me a greater clarity in life than I ever realized was possible.  There is NOTHING that cannot be changed or achieved by believing in yourself and in my opinion the only time it’s too late is when you are no longer in the physical world!

Don’t disable yourself in life, believe you can do anything and you will!

strong person


Posted by on August 7, 2013 in Blog


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