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Just Say No!

The Dark Can’t Live in the Light

When it comes to relations with others it is the positive that is most enjoyed and of course the negative is not something you seek but sometimes what you fall into. No matter which of these that may occur in your life I believe that all relations can teach you something. In finding the lessons and/or wisdom you will end up gaining much more than you might initially think you’ve lost. I am well aware that toxic relations bring personal and emotional pain but through the havoc comes a greater desire for understanding and connection.

Negativity can be passed on through continued interaction and/or exposure to a negative and unhealthy energy, it’s a breed all on its own and these energy vampires can multiply over time. I don’t know that there is a fix-it solution or cure to rehabilitate negativity that has been conditioned over a long period of time but I wouldn’t say there is no chance because I think everyone has a shot at changing their life and behaviour around, it starts with the individual and what that personal choice in life is.

The dark can’t live in the light, negativity requires that others allow it, enable it, don’t question it but unfortunately that comes with a personal price. Your integrity, your soul, your sense of well-being is affected by your personal choices so it’s important not just for those you care about but for yourself to choose and follow your best life. Any or every time you make this compromise, even if it is for the sake of not ruffling any feathers, you are causing damage to your inner soul. When it comes to the times of processing your thoughts, sometimes at the end of the day or maybe in the silence, pay attention to how these choices affect your overall well-being, especially when you know deep down that you’ve made this kind of compromise?

what are you doing for others

Intention is everything and karma is the result and/or potential outcome of that intention. When you do something positive with the intention of creating good karma it won’t have that desired effect. When you do something positive with the intention of enriching the life of another without thought of karma, you are in effect at that moment creating good karma. Alternatively if you do something negative with the intention of hurting another you are also creating karma and it won’t be good. The wheel of karma is always spinning and your intention (good or bad) will always be connected to it.

The best actions are those inspired by good thoughts and the desire to elevate joy in the lives of others not for any other purpose but to bring happiness.

Sometimes in an effort to not be hurtful to another by being genuinely honest you end up extending your personal boundaries past your acceptable line, a line that will continue to recede until you stop it. Everyone’s boundaries matter and anyone who has respect for you and for themselves won’t attempt to push past those boundaries.

I can understand the emotions that motivate thoughts of revenge when something like this happens and as much as you might think you will enjoy it chances are you really won’t. Negativity’s only purpose is to consume, feed, destroy, control and contain your life lessons by derailing the positive. When you allow it, enable it or don’t question it you are willingly giving up your life lesson opportunities that are meant to help progress you to living your best life.

None of us are so great that we are above our life lessons, we are not above the challenges or the joys and when you try to prevent (enable) another from learning a hard life lesson, you aren’t doing that person or yourself any favors. You are preventing that person from experiencing life, we all have to feel everything, without it how would any of us develop genuine humanity.

If you have strong enough faith in the positive aspects and life force of the Universe you will find that they are working together to help you reach your goals. Things don’t happen instantaneously in any direction, everything is a process and takes time and as long as you can maintain enough patience to see yourself through then you can affect change.

be the change

 
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Posted by on August 16, 2015 in Blog

 

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Things I’ve Learned So Far

And;  Where they’ve taken me

  • The ONLY disability in life is a bad attitude!

I Give Up, it’s too hard!  Have you ever said or thought this?  The biggest downside to this thought is that you will get what you give out in this situation.  If you’re feeling like your life isn’t going in the direction you want it to, it’s up to YOU to change directions.  If you got lost in a forest would you:

–         Wait and hope that someone finds you

–         Or keep trying to find your way out

number one reason for giving up

I won’t say I’ve never allowed my attitude to get out of balance, honestly I don’t think it’s gone entirely in the bad attitude direction but I’ve teetered on the edge and have usually found that the energy associated with it just doesn’t fit for me.  It makes me feel like I have the flu and I fight hard to rid myself of it.

I believe it’s human to experience all spectrums of emotion, it becomes difficult when we sit too long in the negative ones which gives them the chance to take root, fester and grow.

  • Sometimes I overthink things.

I’ve done this A LOT!  Having a visual mind can work great wonders for you but with the wrong sense behind it, like fear, it can lead you to a whole lot of anxiety.  This has been recent for me:

In the last 4 months I’ve learned that my 14 year old daughter has to have surgery for Scoliosis and with fear in my very visual mind it took me through a lot of bad thought processes.  One of the reasons I went through those areas is because she’s my child, my baby and always will be but also because she was born at 6 months and weighed (1lb, 7 ounces) which is really premature and right from the very beginning I had to relinquish my protective mothering rights to doctors who could help her to survive such an early arrival.  Needless to say it was not easy to watch them poke and prod and even though I knew they were doing everything they could to help her it’s hard to be so helpless when as a mother your main job is to protect.  So now she has to endure yet another big milestone in her life and what I’ve realized is that even though the milestones may look different for each family they usually involve some form of letting go.  I have to let go of the fear and allow the positive strength I know we both have to guide us through it and I know we will come out on the other side more strongly bonded then we were before.

  • Strength in Self is Paramount.

Is your spirit so broken that you can’t find a way out of the disappointment?  I think if you believe that to be true of yourself, you absolutely must change that thought and get it working for you instead of working against you.  Your strength in self in all situations and specifically your inner dialogue can either impede your growth or encourage it.

Pastor Rick Warren says about painful experiences that “God never wastes a hurt”.

All experiences, good or bad ultimately teach us something and our gratitude towards these experiences can either diminish our light or ignite it.  If you feel like negativity is pulling you down, neutralize it by surrounding yourself with those that inspire you and lift you up.

  • Leader or a follower?

I prefer to direct and lead my own path but I will follow a good leader.  If I follow someone and they lead me down the wrong path is it their fault for leading me there?  Or is my fault for following?  In my opinion it is neither, because I made the choice to follow for a reason, somewhere it served a greater purpose for me and even though I may not realize what has driven me in that direction yet it will all come to light at the right time.

Everything happens for a Reason!

  • Faith!

Self-explanatory really, you’ve got to have faith if you ever hope to achieve your greatest desires.  Having faith helps you to develop greater clarity and love in your sense of self as well as personal development.  Sometimes we start out on our path believing what we envision as our greatest desires only to discover later that they weren’t what we thought at all and are led, through faith, to an even better outcome than could possibly be imagined.  So far my life has taken me in and through experiences that have challenged me and have given me a greater clarity in life than I ever realized was possible.  There is NOTHING that cannot be changed or achieved by believing in yourself and in my opinion the only time it’s too late is when you are no longer in the physical world!

Don’t disable yourself in life, believe you can do anything and you will!

strong person

 
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Posted by on August 7, 2013 in Blog

 

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It’s Not Who You Are, It’s the Behaviour!

De-programming your Patterns

Finding the root cause of any behaviour that you know in your soul isn’t right is the only way to change your patterns.  Awareness to the lack of the success you may have in an area of your life that you are unhappy in is the first step.  Recognizing and owning your flaws and behaviours is not easy or comfortable to do but you need to allow yourself to be vulnerable.  Vulnerability is not weakness, it is a form of courage and strength, like the calm before the storm that brings refreshing change.  Every time I have felt vulnerable or scared has been a moment of significant growth that has positively enhanced my life. Acknowledging that there is a familiar pattern and wanting to change that pattern is the key that unlocks the door to healing.

vulnerable

I think most of us are variations of either Self-Destruction or Self-Improvement, or both, and there are many factors that contribute to the level of how far we tip the scale.  What is your level of truth?

Do you find that you keep ending up in the same place at the end of any given situation even if you have the best intentions in mind?  When I started to recognize this in my own life I realized that I needed to do some work to figure out why these patterns kept showing up.  These patterns can create a cycle of disappointment within that can then evolve into self-destructive behaviour.

Bad behavior doesn’t mean bad person, it could mean conflicted, confused, reactive or could have developed as a result of a great trauma, hurt or betrayal.  When you continue down the path of self-destruction you risk becoming so numb that you fall of the edge that you’re already emotionally dangling on and that can lead to a variety of negative and/or tragic outcomes that don’t need to occur if you just honor your pain to heal.  Carrying it through your life on a daily basis will take a toll on your emotional, physical and mental health and ultimately be very harmful to your inner spirit.  You can end up restricting yourself from so many opportunities just because you can’t or won’t let go of emotions that are keeping you imprisoned within your mind by replaying the tapes that caused you pain.

behaviour

No one can see how you feel on the inside or what you’ve been through, could you imagine if all that was displayed on the outside of you?  There would be no way to hide anything and your vulnerability level would be out the roof.  There would be no way to deny what goes on inside and you would either have to put up with everyone knowing your truth or working it out.  It’s really important to do the work so that your inside can match your outside because until it does you will always feel conflicted, out of sync and struggling to find your way.  If something that wasn’t great propels you into the right direction, and that direction leads you something better than I believe that is the silver lining.  Everything happens for a reason!

We are not here to fulfill the dreams of others, we are here to share in theirs but fulfill our own dreams, find our own passion and our own place in this life.  That place will feel most in alignment with your inner spirit and feel as comfortable as home or whatever you consider “your happy place”.aha

It took me a long time to recognize my patterns but that awareness expanded my desire to delve deeper and I find new levels of insight and “aha” moments that tell me my work is not done and that’s good.  I don’t ever want those to end because that’s where the magic happens!

 
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Posted by on February 5, 2013 in Blog

 

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