De-programming your Patterns
Finding the root cause of any behaviour that you know in your soul isn’t right is the only way to change your patterns. Awareness to the lack of the success you may have in an area of your life that you are unhappy in is the first step. Recognizing and owning your flaws and behaviours is not easy or comfortable to do but you need to allow yourself to be vulnerable. Vulnerability is not weakness, it is a form of courage and strength, like the calm before the storm that brings refreshing change. Every time I have felt vulnerable or scared has been a moment of significant growth that has positively enhanced my life. Acknowledging that there is a familiar pattern and wanting to change that pattern is the key that unlocks the door to healing.
I think most of us are variations of either Self-Destruction or Self-Improvement, or both, and there are many factors that contribute to the level of how far we tip the scale. What is your level of truth?
Do you find that you keep ending up in the same place at the end of any given situation even if you have the best intentions in mind? When I started to recognize this in my own life I realized that I needed to do some work to figure out why these patterns kept showing up. These patterns can create a cycle of disappointment within that can then evolve into self-destructive behaviour.
Bad behavior doesn’t mean bad person, it could mean conflicted, confused, reactive or could have developed as a result of a great trauma, hurt or betrayal. When you continue down the path of self-destruction you risk becoming so numb that you fall of the edge that you’re already emotionally dangling on and that can lead to a variety of negative and/or tragic outcomes that don’t need to occur if you just honor your pain to heal. Carrying it through your life on a daily basis will take a toll on your emotional, physical and mental health and ultimately be very harmful to your inner spirit. You can end up restricting yourself from so many opportunities just because you can’t or won’t let go of emotions that are keeping you imprisoned within your mind by replaying the tapes that caused you pain.
No one can see how you feel on the inside or what you’ve been through, could you imagine if all that was displayed on the outside of you? There would be no way to hide anything and your vulnerability level would be out the roof. There would be no way to deny what goes on inside and you would either have to put up with everyone knowing your truth or working it out. It’s really important to do the work so that your inside can match your outside because until it does you will always feel conflicted, out of sync and struggling to find your way. If something that wasn’t great propels you into the right direction, and that direction leads you something better than I believe that is the silver lining. Everything happens for a reason!
We are not here to fulfill the dreams of others, we are here to share in theirs but fulfill our own dreams, find our own passion and our own place in this life. That place will feel most in alignment with your inner spirit and feel as comfortable as home or whatever you consider “your happy place”.
It took me a long time to recognize my patterns but that awareness expanded my desire to delve deeper and I find new levels of insight and “aha” moments that tell me my work is not done and that’s good. I don’t ever want those to end because that’s where the magic happens!
January 15, 2014 at 12:08 pm
Two thumbs up, Shelley Hallmark! This is a great blog, and please continue to inspire us. I realized a lot of things by just reading your posts. Way to go!
January 16, 2014 at 3:00 pm
Thank-you! I appreciate your positive feedback and support. 🙂