Tag Archives: vulnerability

Things May Change but ……

Your Heart Always Knows!

Don’t believe anything other than what you have placed inside your heart, you are the only one that knows what is true for you.  Let your belief in yourself be greater than any doubt whether that is internal dialogue created by external experiences or opinions.  Live only your truth!

The truth of who you really are, your deepest and secret desires, they have all been placed within from as far back as you can remember.  Those dreams you had early on in life may or may not have evolved much from your original vision but where they came from does not change.  Your heart wants what it wants and the only way to prevent inner conflict is not going against that.  Choose to support yourself and the dreams that the younger version of you had hoped for.  There is no guide or timeline to follow that says when you get to a certain point in life you have passed the opportunity of going after your dreams, your dreams do not have an expiry date!

Your heart always knows how to get you to where you want to go although that isn’t as easily followed as it may sound.  Your heart is vulnerable when being authentic and easily hurt yet strong enough to rise again when opposed.

I clipped a piece from Max Ehrmann’s “Desiderata” poem below which I felt was most in alignment in describing how special each of us are, your authentic self, without prejudice or compromise.

You are a child of the universe,
no less than the trees and the stars;
you have a right to be here.
And whether or not it is clear to you,
no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should. 

What is the true essence of your authentic self?

  • I think it takes a fair amount of time and experiences to find your comfort level with being genuine and it’s not just through the child and teen years that you can experience these growing pains. It’s through this growth though that your true essence takes on its beautiful and unique form.

Do you believe your authentic self is too vulnerable to show to others?

  • It’s strange that as you grow you are shaped by the ideas, opinions and definitions of “normal” as seen by the society around you. Ironically when you get to the point of showing your authenticity it’s not at all far from who you were at the beginning, you just have a little more wisdom and experience.

As your awareness to all these little nuances develop you will begin to see how they can positively enhance your life for the better and understand the power of a moment.

If you knew that every moment, every encounter and every experience in being authentic gives you the opportunity for a soul to soul connection you may start to realize how precious these moments of imprinting are.

It is within connecting that you develop those little moments, not with every single person but those you truly blend with and sometimes those you don’t expect to blend with.  That moment when nothing really monumental is happening but you feel instantaneously close with someone which I believe is a true soul to soul connection, an “authentic moment”.

If you haven’t had any experiences like this wouldn’t you want to?  Being authentic doesn’t just show your heart it allows your inner spirit to shine, connect and love.

There are many things we can learn from others through connecting.  I’ve had the privilege of connecting with others who unbeknownst to them have taught me through their example how and what to embrace to be the person I want to become.  One thing they all have in common is authenticity, a genuine compassion for others, a beautiful heart and of course a great sense of humor.

Through all of these impactful people I was liberated and at a pace that didn’t feel overwhelming, they all helped me to learn and love my authenticity, to feel comfortable and confident and to always follow my heart.

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Posted by on March 9, 2018 in Blog


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From Now to Zen

It’s A Love Thing!

Listening to your soul whisperings is a connection that is always there but isn’t always heard.  Life experiences can color and cloak how you interpret those signs and revelations.  I don’t think you have an idea of who you really are or what you really want and why until you shed these layers.  Your experiences are not meant to hold you back or limit your opportunities, they are meant to shape and prepare you for your greatness!

It isn’t until after one or possibly a few more heavy hearted experiences that you may start to wonder why your life is going in a direction you really don’t desire.  Why do you keep ending up in relationships or situations that aren’t bringing out the best in you and why doesn’t it feel right in your heart?

Soul searching, silencing your mind and embracing the stillness so you can hear and feel your soul is the only way to true meaning and fulfillment.  Once you begin to understand why and how you process your challenges you will find yourself thirsting to pursue this greater sense of clarity in all areas of your life and that will lead you to your true purpose.

When you know you know

This heightened awareness will come in at a time in your life when you are ready to move into a state of openness and willingness to look at where you’ve been to find a better path to where you’re going.  Suddenly things start to become very clear and past issues that once held you back no longer carry the weight they did.  The desire to let go of that which no longer serves you to embrace a more peaceful way of living comes to the forefront of your thoughts and you realize this is your crossroad.

Do I continue down this same path which isn’t really inspiring me with peace and happiness?

Or do I blaze a new trail?

These are your life changing moments and they propel you onto a new path, one that will allow you to get in touch with what really matters to you, which is really the most important question you can ask yourself.  I would bet that the answer your ego would give versus the answer your soul would have would be as different as night and day.  The ego wants you to feel fear and believe that you are unworthy, unlovable or cursed, that everything you hope or want for is unattainable and you don’t deserve it anyway.  The soul wants you to know you are worthy, loved endlessly and have insurmountable opportunities ahead to chart any path you desire.  When you are in alignment with your soul you will find your way to your true destiny, all the happiness you seek, the luxury of authentic/true connection with others and a sense of peace which all I can say is Zen!

True Meaning, hearing the voice within

What matters most?

What do you really want?

I think when you get to this place your thoughts are recharged and you begin to evaluate the things that matter most to you.  You gain a new perspective and recognition for certain pieces of your life that shouldn’t have carried on for so long which allows you to finally let them go.  You start to realize how much time you’ve wasted on experiences that shouldn’t have been giving so much of your power away.  This isn’t to say that what weighs on your heart, mind or soul doesn’t matter but rather how much does it matter for you to lose precious time over or hold yourself back from having new and more healthier experiences that truly connect with your heart.

True Fulfillment, honoring the voice within

What inspires me?

Is it too late?

Heeding the call and allowing your inner voice to be acknowledged knowing how vulnerable that may leave you is a little frightening but in a good way.  I think many view vulnerability as weakness but it is actually pure strength, it takes more strength to be vulnerable than it does to hide behind a false face.  Vulnerability, while scary at times is also quite exhilarating because there is nothing left to bare, one cannot strip you down any further once you are already fully exposed so it allows you to increase your strength from your core.

Do you see what I see?

That door closed, stop staring at it, turn around and see the open window!  Every ending has its sadness but it is also the beginning of something new, change is around the corner and if you spend too much time staring at that closed door you may miss noticing the window of opportunity that has opened just for you.  Far too often we spend too much time focusing on what we had, what we’ve lost, what we sacrificed, what could have been different, all good points but what are you going to do now to change your direction?  Your answers are connected to discovering what true meaning and true fulfillment mean for you, for me it means never giving up, never giving in and keeping my faith in all the things I have dreamed about.  I am not a Dreamer, I am a Visionary!

New Year, New Life

I had thought that 2017 was going to be “the year” and as I’ve come to realize I think it was “the year” but not for the reasons I had initially thought, it was restless and the struggle to move forward seemed like one step forward, two steps back at times but I am labeling it the “year of enlightenment” and 2018 will produce the changes and manifestations of that enlightenment in a very positive way!

Everyone has their own special gifts, opportunities and magical connections destined but this is only after you’ve done your work.  Sometimes when the opportunities come along you are in a funk and it’s just not going to happen and then when you feel you are ready the opportunity is no longer there.  Don’t worry you didn’t miss it what is meant for you will never pass you by, if something didn’t happen at a time when you expected or wanted it’s because it really was not meant for you.

Everything happens for a reason and everything comes to you at the exact right moment so do your work, be ready and keep dreaming!

From Now to Zen ,,,,,, it’s a Love Thing


Posted by on December 26, 2017 in Blog


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Rise or Fall

What Is Your Objective?

Are you going to let the difficult times determine your value and quality of life?

Are you going to build your future on a foundation of pains from the past?

Or you going to let it inspire you to change the direction to a more positive outcome?


When you are feeling stuck which I think everyone has at one time or another (hopefully not too often) you are presented with an opportunity.  The only problem is most of the time you don’t see it as opportunity because when you’re in that place of feeling stuck there are other emotions going on that cloud your view.

The opportunity is change!  Changing your thoughts, changing your attitude, changing your outlook and ultimately changing your life direction.

When you move in the direction of positive change it alters everything in your life:

  • It starts with you and your thoughts, do they sway a little stronger one way or the other (positive or negative side)? What you tell yourself, especially from your subconscious impacts how you feel and how you feel impacts how you interact with others.
  • When your thoughts change so do your interactions with others and how you view and perceive them. Things that possibly annoyed you before begin to become not so important, not because someone else has changed but because you have.
  • When your attitude changes that changes your outlook and your world around you becomes less offensive, not because others have changed but because you have. It’s not “what you get is what you see”, it’s actually “what you see is what you get”.

I’m not going to lie, it’s hard to change your thinking around when you are coming from the place of feeling stuck.  It’s hard to find something solid to stand on so you can rise up from whatever has put you in this place but it is possible.

It takes only a quick shift of thought, that lightning moment to change the direction.  I know that when I get an idea in my head I don’t let it go until I’ve exhausted everything trying.

No one is a failure for trying something that didn’t work, not trying will do more damage to you emotionally through regret than any effort ever made that didn’t work.

Vulnerability is the only way and it’s scary to put yourself out there especially when you don’t know the answers or feel you aren’t ready or strong enough to have them heard but it is such a freeing place to be.  When you allow yourself to be vulnerable there’s nothing left to hide, nothing left to expose or exploit, that changes it into power, personal power!

Whatever caused you to feel stuck is usually not something external but something you find the answers for internally.  Circumstance is just that and circumstance cannot hinder your personal power only you can do that by thinking you are powerless to change a situation.

All situations can be challenged and possibly changed and feeling stuck is only a state of mind, one caused by your own resistance of thinking you are powerless.

Bottom line is you need to be the change you wish to see!



Posted by on September 7, 2016 in Blog


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I Don’t Care What You Think!

Feeling Vulnerable Without Fear

Sometimes the protective coat of armor doesn’t cover the fear created within the mind.  I think when you’re young, you are most susceptible and vulnerable to the outside influence and/or opinion of others.  So much so that the slightest comment can feel like a horrible criticism directed at you to make you feel inadequate.  I know because I’ve felt that and maybe those that have made the comment may not have realized the magnitude in which they’ve affected me and maybe those that have made the comment meant nothing negative but I just took it that way.  I think that only time, maturity, personal growth and the always “under construction” parts of your “self” as in esteem, worth and confidence is the key to finally breaking away and feeling vulnerable without fear.

tongue has no bones

Growing into the reserves of strength I know we all have is a difficult road and maintaining confidence through your steps and missteps is a challenge in itself.  However you choose to help yourself along through the emotional conflict you’re likely to experience I think that as long as you continue to try to be better than you were the day before then you are progressing, even if it doesn’t feel like it.  I don’t think any of us realize how much inner strength there is to tap into and how much adversity we actually have the ability to withstand.  Until you are really tested, you just don’t know.

Recognizing how far you’ve come from where you were is something you can look back at after some time to mark in your mind and heart of your progress.  Any progress in a positive direction is something to be acknowledged and celebrated because you could have gone in a negative direction and that would have benefited no one.

Everyone wants to be seen and heard and not for any kind of ego boost but because it is a big part of connecting with others, the part that lets you know you matter and the part that lets you know they care.  It doesn’t take a large amount of energy to be compassionate or kind towards others and it will cost you nothing.

So how do you get to the point of saying “I don’t care what you think”?  It’s not really as derogatory as it sounds more like I’ve grown into myself enough to know that what others think of me doesn’t define me, doesn’t make me more or less of a person and isn’t going to change who I am.  It’s not a challenging attitude but rather a more “self” reflected and strengthened version, humbled and content enough to quiet the thoughts of doubt.

I think too often the focus is worrying about how others will perceive and whether or not they will like you, the bigger question is, “do you like yourself”?  If your answer is yes, there is nothing left for you to worry about, you are enough and those that matter will recognize that.  If your answer is no, then I believe self-reflection is the beginning, at some point in your life you had to have liked yourself, find your way back there and re-build from that point.

the roar of freedom

Vulnerability lies in many corners of the heart and mind and at a moment’s notice it can change your nice quiet, calm and contented self into a scared little child.  Of course there are variations of that fear and I think many of us don’t get as far as the scared little child but you get the idea.  Fear and vulnerability or fear of vulnerability, however you want to link the two, they are usually connected in some way.

FEAR:             to be afraid of (something of someone)

                        to expect or worry about (something bad or unpleasant)

                        to be afraid and worried


VULNERABILITY:     easily hurt or harmed physically, mentally or emotionally

                                    open to attack, harm or damage

I think both of these definitions are valid reasons for not wanting to leave yourself open to fear or vulnerability but while you may be protecting yourself from others and the possibility of something negative.  You are also protecting yourself from others and the possibility of something positive.

While you may feel protected and comfortable within the walls you build to protect your heart you are also keeping everything else out.  The most magical things happen outside your comfort zone!

stepping into your greatness

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Posted by on March 19, 2016 in Blog


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Affects All Parts of Your Self

I happened to catch a show on the OWN Network the other night with a couple of key note speakers discussing the topic of Trust.  I always like to hear different perspectives and thought processes on any topic because it always makes me think and sometimes challenges my own perceptions.

Everyone has a different opinion and perspective and even if it doesn’t match mine at times I think it’s important to at least honour their feelings.

Trust is built in very small moments – Brene Brown.

If you think the littlest of gestures are insignificant, think again because they build that grander scale of trust.  It takes a longer time to build then it does to destroy it.

I’ve included the definition of both trust and distrust as described by Charles Feltman because like Brene Brown, I think it’s close to the best one I’ve heard.

  • Trust is choosing to make something important to you vulnerable to the actions of someone else.
  • Distrust is what I have shared with you that is important to me but is not safe with you.

I absolutely had to include the acronym as created by Brene Brown regarding the “Anatomy of Trust”, because it seems to me to be the best description and aspects of all relationships.

Brene Brown’s acronym for trust is BRAVING, when we trust we are braving connection with someone.

B – Boundaries; I trust you, if you are clear about your boundaries and you hold them and you’re clear about my boundaries and you respect them.  There is no trust without boundaries.

R – Reliability; I can only trust you if you do what you say you’re going to do and not just once.

A – Accountability; I can only trust you if when you make a mistake you are willing to own it, apologize for it and make amends.  I can only trust you if when I make a mistake I am allowed to own it, apologize and make amends.

V – Vault; what I share with you, you will hold in confidence, what you share with me I will hold in confidence.

I – Integrity; I cannot trust you and be in a trusting relationship if you do not act from a place of integrity and encourage me to do the same.

N – Non-judgement; I can fall apart ask for help and be in struggle without being judged by you and you can fall apart ask for help and be in struggle without being judged by me.

G – Generosity; a relationship is only a trusting relationship if you can assume the most generous thing about my words, intentions and behaviours and then check in with me.

In my opinion, this acronym encompasses everything that is important for trusting to be successful, if you have doubts in any area of the descriptions from the acronym then maybe further introspection would be of benefit for you.  Everyone has their own ways and I wouldn’t say that there is only one right way but I do know that everyone knows in their gut when something is off so pay attention to that as it will be your greatest guide.

Knowing yourself and how things make you feel is the best way to know how your level of trust with someone is doing.  When trust is damaged it has you questioning not only the one you are in trust with but yourself, you end up going through the usual conversations with self “how could I have been so stupid” or “why did I not see that coming”.  As a result not only is the relationship damaged but your own self-esteem, self-worth and self-confidence.  It’s amazing how much damage that can be done in a moment when the thought of another is not held to the high standard it should be because trust is very important.

I just had such an affinity for the conversation because the integrity of trust is such a huge part of all relationships, more than I think many realize.  It’s always said that it’s the little things that matter and this is very true within trust because in the little moments you learn about others, develop, build and evolve the relationship.  You get the true moments and of course with it the openness and vulnerability.  It’s important to be very aware of the vulnerability in others, I think especially so you can always strive to be a better person, one that knows compassion and empathy and wants to bring it into relationships as an enhancement for the connection.



Posted by on December 15, 2015 in Blog


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Living Life?

Or just Existing?

It’s really about experiences and doing things!

Your purpose and calling is bigger than your presence.  It’s the journey and where it takes you and I believe all the journeys are there to teach us some form of Love, whether it is through compassion, empathy, authenticity, generosity, faith, intention, hope, gratitude or appreciation they all bring with them a greater awareness.  All of these states of being stem from Love and if you embrace your journey the limits of where you can go are boundless! 

Who are you trying to become?  Are you trying to be a good person?  At the end of the day we need to be ok at our inner core with what we’re doing.

Are you being authentic with yourself and others?  Are your motives genuine or selfish?  I think it’s important to stay within those guidelines to be aligned with your inner core or else you will feel inner conflict which isn’t always recognizable, it may just feel like something doesn’t feel right.


Your self-worth and personal value are enhanced when you connect to your inner core because it’s not your outside appearance that projects your beauty and that projection causes others to naturally be drawn to you.  Learn to recognize that rejection may not be a bad thing because it helps you to keep your expectations in check.  I believe also that it means there is something better coming around the corner and you need to be open to receive.  Rejection creates an opening of vulnerability and when you are vulnerable is when positive change has the opportunity to occur.

Unleash your imagination, let it flow through all your senses and it will help you to find your purpose.  In talking with others, there seems to be an overall sensing or knowing that there is something different that you should be doing.  I felt like there was an energy that was swirling just outside the zone waiting for the perfect moment to come rushing in.

When you finally understand that whispering you will find your voice and your priorities become so clear and the moment you shine a little light, it starts to grow.  Don’t be defined by anything other than your own authenticity and capacity for breathing your love of life into yourself and those around you.

Surprisingly, even though I constantly talk about having a plan, mostly all of mine have failed but those failures and my ability to adapt have allowed me to fall into better spaces each time, places I wouldn’t have thought to look or have interest in.  Having a plan is more for distraction because it helps you to direct your focus and energy on the steps and while you’re doing those steps you will likely discover something wonderful in between and the plan keeps you open to receive.  One thing for sure is that even though a plan has failed, at least I tried it and learned it wasn’t right for me and now I won’t have regret.

I think when it gets to that certain point in your life when you are looking for something to fill your passion, something to inspire your soul, you sometimes find yourself with regrets and sometimes those regrets are for the chances you didn’t take because of some form of vulnerability that prevented it.

It’s who you become by being truthful, authentic and generous with yourself and others.  When you don’t do something you know is right you end up living with regret and it will haunt you.

Sometimes the bravest thing to do is to embrace honesty so you don’t allow yourself to be held back from something that could have changed your life.


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Posted by on December 11, 2013 in Blog


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Take Control of Your Power!

Your Strength Lies Within

Everyone has the potential to be great and what you feed into (positive or negative) weighs heavily on what the outcome may be.  When you don’t reach that greatness it doesn’t mean you don’t deserve it or it’s not part of your destiny.  It could be that you are feeding into the possibility that “you can’t” succeed rather than “you can” and that mindset is something we can build ourselves through fear and insecurity.  Fear can seem overwhelming because in our minds we’ve built it up that big, but we have the ability within us to change that obstacle from a mountain to a mole hill, it’s all perception.

believe in yourself

“A change of feeling is a change of destiny”  –  Neville

I believe that a large part of “taking control of your power” is found within being vulnerable, even though that vulnerability feels scary, it’s ultimately empowering.  The reason it’s empowering is because it takes a great deal of courage to embrace vulnerability and allow the chips to fall where they may.  Being vulnerable helps you discover that you innately have a reserve of strength to draw from that you didn’t know was there and that experience is not only empowering but also humbling.  We don’t always give ourselves the credit we deserve when it comes to our own personal power.  It’s hard enough when another person is discouraging by not believing in you but when you also do not believe in yourself you begin to limit your life opportunities and options and that’s just not right.

My personal inner voice and reaction to anything fear based and negative is that “I am not going to let it conquer or defeat me”, I will persevere, backing out is not an option!

My positive mind says “No Way is fear going to be allowed to win.  Turn around and go back where you came from, you have no business here!”

Negative thoughts like fear or failure don’t stand a chance when you affirm with yourself and the universe that you’re strong and you’re not giving up.  Things only occur because we acknowledge their presence in our existence, everything start with a thought.  Don’t think negatively and negative things will not occur.

By following Neville’s Law of Assumption you can increase your success in any or all areas of your life that you want to improve:

“If this assumption is persisted in until it becomes your dominant feeling, the attainment of your ideal is inevitable”

greatness within

Once you’ve accepted yourself for who you are, others will also accept you for who you are.  When you begin to accept and believe in yourself you won’t put as much emphasis on needing to feel accepted by others and that ease of contentment and peace is a quality that others will gravitate toward and relate to.

I always love hearing a good line from a movie and my most recent that I want to share with you is one that I thought was very inspiring and something we should all aspire to, it’s similar to my own thoughts about having faith in humanity.  The more people believe in others, the more others will rise to the occasion.

“I like to think that if you put your trust out there, I mean if you really give people the benefit of the doubt, see their best intentions that they’re going to want to live up to it.  It doesn’t always work out but more often than not I think that if you do, people will rise to the occasion.  I really do believe that!”


Posted by on May 15, 2013 in Blog


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