Tag Archives: healing the past

It’s not always Healing, Sometimes it’s Adapting to Move Forward

The deep and lasting effects of emotional hurt and/or trauma can feel like they may not heal and sometimes it’s not always healing that occurs, it’s adapting and making changes to move forward and away from the emotional scars that may be holding you back.  The option between healing or adapting to move forward isn’t always a choice because emotional scarring is tied to the emotional part of our being and our emotions are not always something that can be controlled.  Feelings can be suppressed but only for a period of time, at some point they are going to come back to the surface and have to be dealt with and for every time you push them back down, they tend to come back stronger and stronger with each time they re-surface until it becomes too overwhelming to have enough strength to suppress them again.

The choice in the timing of when we have to deal with an issue that has re-surfaced isn’t always an option but the decision on where you choose to go from there is.  We all have more personal strength within us than we usually give ourselves credit for and choosing to face the challenges to live a healthier and happier life is a decision I don’t think anyone would ever regret.

It takes twice the amount of your personal energy to maintain suppressing an emotional issue and I think that’s why we always hear the expression “it’s like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders” when someone has finally dealt with an issue they had been suppressing.  The weight being the energy you are utilizing to maintain that suppression.  When you deal with it to move forward, you are no longer carrying the weight of that burden of energy required to avoid dealing with the emotional pain.

A few years back I had read a book that had a couple of chapters about a child’s “formative years”, I had always thought that the formative years ran somewhere between 7 – 12 years of age and was surprised to read that it was much earlier, as in age birth to 5 years of age.  I was aware that from the time we are born that babies to toddlers know what is going on around them and can sense disharmony but I had thought that the formative years were later in life because I myself had more solid memories of events from that timeframe of age.  In thinking back while I was reading this book I realized that the emotional memories of closeness and familial bonds had to be earlier than I could actually recall because I was too young then to understand, recognize or desire anything else but I inherently knew that they stemmed more from a feeling or sense of awareness.

It’s this time period of our life that ultimately forms the foundation of who we are to become and what energetic state of being that we become pre-disposed to, whether that energetic state is positive or negative.  Parenting and family are the most significant part of our foundation and can either inspire or damage the spirit within.  Nurturing is such an important and relevant component of our development and needs when we are young, any indifference, negativity or neglect can permanently alter the shape in which we grow.  I don’t believe that means that positive development can never occur, I believe it changes the spirit within in ways that can never be restored to its previous form, like a violent image that can’t be unseen, a negative experience can’t be undone.  We can move forward but the emotional feelings generated from the experience remain.

It’s this foundation that creates the development of the character traits and I believe that there are variations of these character traits that are developed or not developed based on whether the formative year’s environment was positive or negative.  I also believe that there are degrees of emotional damage experienced during these formative years that may not be healed but can be accepted and adapted to in order to move forward and develop a more positive, productive and peaceful state of being.  There have been many movies produced that are based on true stories of individuals that have overcome difficult environments in their formative years and have transcended their circumstances to achieve just that.

There is no quick fix to alleviate emotional hurt, all wounds (physical or emotional) take time to heal but anything worth having is worth working for and our well-being is the most important state we need to maintain and nurture.

The most important aspect I want to express is that regardless of where the emotional hurt/trauma stems from if it’s affecting you negatively then it’s hurting you the most and the best thing you can do for yourself is to find a way to release it so that it no longer has any control or effect on your overall well-being.