Monthly Archives: August 2014

The Seeds of Doubt

Grow the Spaces to Disconnection

When seeds of doubt pop up in your relationships questions then follow, distance is created when those questions go unaddressed and/or unanswered.  Loss of connection is akin to loss of trust, loss of faith or loss of hope as they all create spaces that eventually make up the distance that creates the loss of connection.

Communication is the greatest protector against these losses because it builds the bridge that always keeps those you cherish close.  Acknowledgement and validation nurtures those loved and helps them to continually grow and evolve with you in symbiotic harmony.

Some of my experiences have been that the dedication is not met on an equal level and the result is moving on.  That doesn’t mean this is a bad thing because not everyone in our lives are meant to be with us for lifetime, some are there to help through transition, to help teach a specific lesson or to motivate change.

We are all different from each other and right down to every cell of our being as it is necessary to create the human experiences we provide for each other and connectively.  Some hurt or elate more than others but from those feelings come wisdom, experience, growth and eventually inner peace.

Is it lost forever?  I really don’t think it is or has to be but like trust, faith or hope it has to be rebuilt and rebuilding usually takes much more work and dedication.  It really depends on the strength of the foundation and if it manifested organically or began from falsehood.  Intention is everything!

I do believe that everyone deserves the chance to show you who they are but trying to change what they show you may or may not be you setting yourself up for disappointment, depending on your perspective.

  • Do you always tackle the impossible in the hopes to change what is?
  • Are you drawn to the impossible so you won’t have to really connect and feel vulnerable?
  • Is the dynamic you constantly find yourself in a reflection of your formative year’s environment?

All three of these questions could have easily been my unrealized mantra.  We all have behaviours that we are consciously or subconsciously predisposed to and there are probably a variety of reasons as to why we allow them to have controlling interest in our lives.

Can we change it?  Absolutely yes!

Anyone at any time can change any behaviour or aspect of their life into a positive direction that provides a happier and more stable state of being.  If you cannot envision the result you want to see that doesn’t mean you can’t make it happen but if you do not believe in it or in yourself then it is your belief that will manifest the outcome.  This includes the seeds of doubt and any communication that has broken down, determination and the willingness to make the effort is necessary for success.  Anything worth having, is worth working for!

I know for myself that when it comes to pursuing something I envision to occur in my life, I do not stop until I’ve exhausted every avenue and all possibilities.  If something does not go according to my vision I’ve found that it leads me in a different and better direction than I had ever considered.  I do not believe in failure, something that doesn’t go as you want doesn’t mean you failed because it usually directs you to something better as long as you are open to it.  That has been my experience every time!

I continue to strive to attain devotion and honesty in addressing the seeds of doubt when they arise, not everything needs to be over-dramatized but at the same time if it matters to you, it matters; and if it matters to you, it should also matter to those you cherish and vice versa.

At the end of the day you know within if you gave it your all, if you left no stone unturned, and that’s what allows you to look in the mirror and be content.

a life that matters

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Posted by on August 27, 2014 in Blog


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Defining Moments

What Matters Most!

There comes a time in your life, when you walk away from all the drama and people who create it. You surround yourself with people who make you laugh. Forget the bad and focus on the good. Love the people who treat you well, pray for the ones who don’t. Life is too short to be anything but happy. Falling down is a part of life, getting back up is living.

There are actually quite a few defining moments, at least that’s what I’ve found so far and I’m sure there are more to come. It’s like the big “aha” and I really do look forward to those moments because with them comes enlightenment, it’s the ultimate pulling back of the curtain and showing you exactly what’s behind it, things don’t get much clearer than that.

They really make you realize what matters most and for me that has always been the simpler aspects of my life, even though it hadn’t occurred to me prior to that. Sometimes we really do complicate our lives by getting too caught up in things that really don’t impact our lives in the way that we may initially believe and getting yourself wound up is almost never a viable solution.

There are many people that are meant to come into, stay and/or leave our lives, all for a reason and all for a certain time period (long or short) and I believe that all are meant to teach and help us to grow into our destiny. We all aren’t a perfect fit for one another collectively because we are all so different, some people we click with and some people we definitely don’t and at some point in our lives (which is different times for everyone) we grow either together or apart. I do believe that what matters most to each of us is a defining moment, it is a moment or a series of moments that start you on a different path. A path that attracts you to, or to you, people that may not have captured your interest before. Even though those people may have always been meant to come into your life, until you gained the experiences that brought you here the shared interest may not have developed.

All experiences change us in some way and even though some of them aren’t as desirable as others they are necessary to teach us to recognize that which we do not want in our lives.people, actions

There comes a time in your life, when you walk away from all the drama and people who create it: I’m not a fan of the drama, my normal is and has always been direct, say what you mean and definitely mean what you way. In my opinion, actions have always been the true window to the soul.

You surround yourself with people who make you laugh: This is essential for me, I thrive on the hilarious, even at the expense of myself. If you can’t laugh at your own foibles then you are definitely missing out, humor can be a bonding experience.

Forget the bad and focus on the good: It doesn’t matter how badly something has been as long as you allow yourself to feel it and let it go. If you consistently carry your bad baggage forward into your future you will never find happiness.

Love the people who treat you well, pray for the ones who don’t: The ones who treat you well truly have your best interest at heart, there is no personal gain besides your placement in their life. For those who don’t, I think best to offer a blessing for enlightenment in the hopes that they find connections that inspire them to do better.

Life is too short to be anything but happy: As much we may believe that our human existence is long, it’s really not, time flies by pretty fast and too often time is wasted on being disappointed, upset and unhappy. Find the things, the people that inspire and motivate your passion and even though life still goes by fast, at least you will feel like you did something valuable with your time.

Falling down is a part of life, getting back up is living: Fall down seven times, get up eight! Don’t ever believe that just because you erred, fell down or feel you failed that it means you are done for. The fact is that it gives you the opportunity to rebuild something to your liking, maybe tweak it a bit better than it was so it suits you instead of you trying to suit it.

I believe that if you find that which inspires and motivates your passion then what matters most isn’t too far off from there.

Always pursue your greatest desires in life. I think at the end of your life you will be more disappointed by the chances you didn’t take than the ones you did.

chances not taken

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Posted by on August 13, 2014 in Blog


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