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Tag Archives: moving on

To Err is Human

06 Oct

To Forgive is Divine

Forgiveness allows you relief from carrying the burden that causes you to remain present in a moment that has hurt you deeply.

It takes courage to allow yourself to be in a place that helps you to forgive others for feeling disempowered by their words or actions. Vulnerability is a necessary component of all relationships, without it you won’t experience the true connection but with it there is a risk of being hurt. If you take your past hurts with you into your present and future it may provide you with a false sense of security, a wall that you think may protect you from getting hurt again, but it prevents you from truly shining and others from getting to know your heart.

When you’ve been hurt deeply the ego’s logic is to hold onto the hurt and anger in the hopes that it will somehow affect the person that caused you the hurt. This couldn’t be further from the truth, chances are very likely that they are unaffected, unconcerned and/or unaware. That hurt, however, will continue to writhe inside of you until you finally reach the place of letting it go and letting it go you must!

Holding onto anger is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die

–        Buddha

I absolutely love this quote I got from an Oprah show a while back, it bears repeating again and again until you allow yourself to feel and embrace the power in these words.

  • Forgiveness does not mean you have to accept the person back into your life.
  • Forgiveness does not mean you are condoning what they did or that you are in any way saying it was OK what they did.
  • Forgiveness is giving up the hope that the past could have been any different.

Forgiveness is where your strength lies because it allows you to embrace more fulfilling aspects of character like compassion and empathy. That strength says “I’m letting you go so you can’t continue to hurt me with this memory that I’m remembering daily”. By releasing this memory as past and allowing the grief of the hurt to be felt you then give yourself the opportunity to heal and become stronger, strong enough to never find yourself in that same place again. Sometimes the hurt caused by another can feel very personal and intense and to hold yourself in the same place day after day after day can be a way of punishing yourself for letting someone get close enough to hurt you, although I don’t think that is realized at the time.

Forgiveness paves the way for all things beautiful and positive. It gives you the opportunity to see and feel the miracles of life that we often overlook or take for granted. Forgiveness helps you into the state of gratitude so you are able to recognize the blessings you’ve had and those that are still to come.

There are so many before us that have gone through so much more than we will ever have to know because they have lived, their sacrifices paved a better road for us. Without the blessing of their sacrifices, our miracles in life would not be as abundant. Take a moment to acknowledge and recognize history and know that no matter how difficult life may be right now, there are always options, if there weren’t then those before us wouldn’t have been able to provide us with the changes we know in life today.

Your crown has been bought and paid for. All you have to do is put it on your head.

  • James Baldwin

Appreciate yourself and life enough to know that you have every opportunity to pave that path even better for the future of those you do not know and in doing so you may have positively inspired hope in another.

Hope lies in dreams, in imagination, and in the courage of those who dare to make dreams into reality.

  • Jonas Salk

how we ran the race

 
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Posted by on October 6, 2014 in Blog

 

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The Seeds of Doubt

27 Aug

Grow the Spaces to Disconnection

When seeds of doubt pop up in your relationships questions then follow, distance is created when those questions go unaddressed and/or unanswered.  Loss of connection is akin to loss of trust, loss of faith or loss of hope as they all create spaces that eventually make up the distance that creates the loss of connection.

Communication is the greatest protector against these losses because it builds the bridge that always keeps those you cherish close.  Acknowledgement and validation nurtures those loved and helps them to continually grow and evolve with you in symbiotic harmony.

Some of my experiences have been that the dedication is not met on an equal level and the result is moving on.  That doesn’t mean this is a bad thing because not everyone in our lives are meant to be with us for lifetime, some are there to help through transition, to help teach a specific lesson or to motivate change.

We are all different from each other and right down to every cell of our being as it is necessary to create the human experiences we provide for each other and connectively.  Some hurt or elate more than others but from those feelings come wisdom, experience, growth and eventually inner peace.

Is it lost forever?  I really don’t think it is or has to be but like trust, faith or hope it has to be rebuilt and rebuilding usually takes much more work and dedication.  It really depends on the strength of the foundation and if it manifested organically or began from falsehood.  Intention is everything!

I do believe that everyone deserves the chance to show you who they are but trying to change what they show you may or may not be you setting yourself up for disappointment, depending on your perspective.

  • Do you always tackle the impossible in the hopes to change what is?
  • Are you drawn to the impossible so you won’t have to really connect and feel vulnerable?
  • Is the dynamic you constantly find yourself in a reflection of your formative year’s environment?

All three of these questions could have easily been my unrealized mantra.  We all have behaviours that we are consciously or subconsciously predisposed to and there are probably a variety of reasons as to why we allow them to have controlling interest in our lives.

Can we change it?  Absolutely yes!

Anyone at any time can change any behaviour or aspect of their life into a positive direction that provides a happier and more stable state of being.  If you cannot envision the result you want to see that doesn’t mean you can’t make it happen but if you do not believe in it or in yourself then it is your belief that will manifest the outcome.  This includes the seeds of doubt and any communication that has broken down, determination and the willingness to make the effort is necessary for success.  Anything worth having, is worth working for!

I know for myself that when it comes to pursuing something I envision to occur in my life, I do not stop until I’ve exhausted every avenue and all possibilities.  If something does not go according to my vision I’ve found that it leads me in a different and better direction than I had ever considered.  I do not believe in failure, something that doesn’t go as you want doesn’t mean you failed because it usually directs you to something better as long as you are open to it.  That has been my experience every time!

I continue to strive to attain devotion and honesty in addressing the seeds of doubt when they arise, not everything needs to be over-dramatized but at the same time if it matters to you, it matters; and if it matters to you, it should also matter to those you cherish and vice versa.

At the end of the day you know within if you gave it your all, if you left no stone unturned, and that’s what allows you to look in the mirror and be content.

a life that matters

 
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Posted by on August 27, 2014 in Blog

 

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You Have the Power

05 Mar

To Change your Story

The life you live is your choice, Always! 

If your life is not the way you like it you can change it, there are always options and the only reason you may feel trapped at times is because you won’t allow yourself to see those options.  There are always obstacles in life to overcome to reach the desired destination but it is your choice as to whether you are going to let those options stand in your way or if you are going to find an alternate route around them.  If you give up and quit, that is because you have made the conscious decision that you are not going to succeed but it isn’t the obstacles that prevented you from moving forward it was you!

Story, Wooden peg and colorful words series on rope

Obstacles are on your path to challenge and teach you that anything worth having is worth fighting for and to help build who you are to become.  Stepping outside your comfort zone is where your biggest opportunities lie and it’s not that you are going to be successful with everything you try but taking a chance will build your self-worth and not taking the chance will lower it.  I have personally found that even if the road I’ve travelled doesn’t pan out I feel pride because at least I tried it.  Regret, in my opinion, sucks the life out of your self-worth, self-pride and self-respect and will continue to drain that part of your psyche until you let go and resolve to move forward with a life plan that better builds you.

I’ve taken chances and risks to walk on many different paths in the effort to find the one that is truly my own and I don’t believe I’m done yet.  There always seems to be another level even higher than the last that I need to reach for next and every step I take leads me to new discoveries, sometimes daily.  Discoveries that tantalize and inspire my inner creativity with insight into new and exciting prospects, prospects I hadn’t even considered.  Letting go of fear is your only option for moving forward, fear can be paralyzing and it lives only in your mind, it’s not an actual circumstance.  Danger and extreme peril, both are actual circumstances that can evolve to exist but fear is a component of the mind, created by the mind.

When you become stuck it is because there is something in your emotion (usually fear) that is continuing to cycle and reminding you that you can’t get there from here but really you can, you just have to find another route.

Just because you’ve fallen down doesn’t mean you stay there, the only reason you are unable to see a way out or up is because your vision is clouded but it can and will clear if you want and allow it to.  Letting go of the fear to take a chance is the single most important step you need to take to move in the direction you seek, if you don’t know the direction look within, all the answers you will ever need are in there. 

If your story is not going the way you want you may have quieted your instincts so much that they are barely an audible whisper but the more you allow them to have a voice the louder they will get.  Your instincts, intuition, inner voice, however you want to refer to it will never guide you to a place that isn’t necessary for your personal growth but you are not meant to get stuck there.

I absolutely love Jane Fonda’s analogy of this kind of emotional challenge, I can’t quote it verbatim but it is somewhere along these lines; every time you exercise you create little miniscule tears in the muscle (that sore, tired feeling after exercise, like you really worked out), these tears heal quite quickly and become stronger and so muscle grows.  This is like the emotional challenges, they make little tears in our emotion and we heal and become stronger because of the experience, it’s not that we are broken but rather broken open and the opportunity for positive change and new beginnings can be the result of that experience if you don’t allow it to define you.

We all deserve to live the life we hope for and envision and there is no such thing as too late or too old.  You know your heart and inner spirit better than anyone and you know when you are going against it because inner war is the result, that conflict creates negativity that can spiral into dark areas that can damage you significantly, sometimes altering you into an entirely different person.  I do believe that everything happens for a reason and even though negative experiences are needed for growth, as are positive, they can sometimes create a tornado effect within you and the only way to stop it is to take away its wind.

Take back your power, surround yourself with people that build and inspire you, live and breathe positive thinking and change your story!

what if

 
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Posted by on March 5, 2014 in Blog

 

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Embracing a Positive Lifestyle

24 Jan

Letting Go

To begin living a positive lifestyle we first need to let go of an old way of thinking or behavior that no longer serves us.  It’s this old way that will block us from fully being able to welcome and accept a new and better way of life that will ultimately bring much happiness.In order to allow the happiness we need to first let go of any negativity that is holding us back.  If you really think about it what has harbouring negative thinking brought you?

–        If you are upset with another person, has the negativity exacted the revenge you were hoping for?

–        Has it had any impact on them whatsoever?

At the very most this other person may be aware you are upset but that is likely all it’s done for the situation.  If the other person is unaffected (and most likely they are) then what good has it done for you to carry on with this line of thinking?  The only person you are exacting any negative impact on is yourself.  You are most likely feeling the ill effects within you by way of sickness (emotional or physical), either one is pointless.

Are you really the one you want to affect with this negativity?  Chances are you might not be aware that you are actually harming only you.  So why hold onto it?

Even though revenge itself is another pointless and demeaning behavior, at the very least if you want to think of it this way, wouldn’t the best revenge be for you to be happy?

If another person has affected your life negatively then by continuing to hold on to the negative feelings you are allowing that person to be in control of your own personal happiness.  Why give anyone but yourself the power over your happiness?

The best possible solution is to let it go and by whatever means necessary.  There are many different ways to do this but the first step is really and truly wanting to let it go and to be willing to do whatever it takes to make that happen.  Your determination in this process will be one of your biggest assets.  The other will be your will power to maintain that determination.

Letting go can be an almost impossible task when you’re not fully ready.  You need to be brutally honest with yourself if you are going to succeed.

I believe that we all have the power within ourselves to overcome and accomplish anything we fully commit to.

 
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Posted by on January 24, 2012 in Blog

 

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