Tag Archives: connecting on a deeper level

Things May Change but ……

Your Heart Always Knows!

Don’t believe anything other than what you have placed inside your heart, you are the only one that knows what is true for you.  Let your belief in yourself be greater than any doubt whether that is internal dialogue created by external experiences or opinions.  Live only your truth!

The truth of who you really are, your deepest and secret desires, they have all been placed within from as far back as you can remember.  Those dreams you had early on in life may or may not have evolved much from your original vision but where they came from does not change.  Your heart wants what it wants and the only way to prevent inner conflict is not going against that.  Choose to support yourself and the dreams that the younger version of you had hoped for.  There is no guide or timeline to follow that says when you get to a certain point in life you have passed the opportunity of going after your dreams, your dreams do not have an expiry date!

Your heart always knows how to get you to where you want to go although that isn’t as easily followed as it may sound.  Your heart is vulnerable when being authentic and easily hurt yet strong enough to rise again when opposed.

I clipped a piece from Max Ehrmann’s “Desiderata” poem below which I felt was most in alignment in describing how special each of us are, your authentic self, without prejudice or compromise.

You are a child of the universe,
no less than the trees and the stars;
you have a right to be here.
And whether or not it is clear to you,
no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should. 

What is the true essence of your authentic self?

  • I think it takes a fair amount of time and experiences to find your comfort level with being genuine and it’s not just through the child and teen years that you can experience these growing pains. It’s through this growth though that your true essence takes on its beautiful and unique form.

Do you believe your authentic self is too vulnerable to show to others?

  • It’s strange that as you grow you are shaped by the ideas, opinions and definitions of “normal” as seen by the society around you. Ironically when you get to the point of showing your authenticity it’s not at all far from who you were at the beginning, you just have a little more wisdom and experience.

As your awareness to all these little nuances develop you will begin to see how they can positively enhance your life for the better and understand the power of a moment.

If you knew that every moment, every encounter and every experience in being authentic gives you the opportunity for a soul to soul connection you may start to realize how precious these moments of imprinting are.

It is within connecting that you develop those little moments, not with every single person but those you truly blend with and sometimes those you don’t expect to blend with.  That moment when nothing really monumental is happening but you feel instantaneously close with someone which I believe is a true soul to soul connection, an “authentic moment”.

If you haven’t had any experiences like this wouldn’t you want to?  Being authentic doesn’t just show your heart it allows your inner spirit to shine, connect and love.

There are many things we can learn from others through connecting.  I’ve had the privilege of connecting with others who unbeknownst to them have taught me through their example how and what to embrace to be the person I want to become.  One thing they all have in common is authenticity, a genuine compassion for others, a beautiful heart and of course a great sense of humor.

Through all of these impactful people I was liberated and at a pace that didn’t feel overwhelming, they all helped me to learn and love my authenticity, to feel comfortable and confident and to always follow my heart.

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Posted by on March 9, 2018 in Blog


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The Tender Space of Hurt

Where does it all begin?

If you’ve ever been the one to inflict emotional hurt on another you may not realize how damaging your actions are, alternatively if that is your intent then you are very aware and obviously not operating from the best place of your souls’ purpose.

If you have been the recipient of this kind of action you already know the extensive damage it causes on the deepest part of your soul and so do those around you. What you feel and experience has a direct and outward effect on those closest to you.

Ever had a bad day come home and bark at everyone around you? I know I have and it’s not something I desire at all!

Through my own experiences as well as observation of others the tender space of hurt is vast and sometimes long-lasting. I believe the long-lasting effects are significantly reduced when the source of the hurt is acknowledged, validated and the recipient is allowed to have their voice heard.don't let others hurt others

Brushing something off, under the rug, ignorance is bliss, etc., does absolutely nothing to correct or abate the hurt in fact it can only make it grow, sometimes to an irreparable amount.   What follows can be a multitude of negative thoughts which turn into negative attitude, outlook and/or behaviour.

Keep in mind that action, reaction and inaction are all actions, each come with results and consequence. If you choose to ignore or overlook any of these the result may be that it diminishes your ability to connect with others, especially those you may really want to. You may end up closing yourself off from the world whether it is by choice or default because you just don’t know how to communicate or listen.

Awareness is the key to connecting with everything in your life, everything that is meaningful, supportive and loving. It is through your own heightened awareness that you can connect on every level with others and in the form that your soul seeks in finding the greater meaning of life. I think everyone at one time or another has wondered about their purpose, the big picture, the grand design of their lives and what it is all supposed to mean. What do you do when an emotional hurt changes the course of that interest and fills your thoughts and time with negativity?

I’m sure we’ve all been there; having the anticipatory thoughts of conversations, what we want to say to another, how we want to respond, how we expect them to respond. All of this is wasted time in your life and likely never to happen. I know because I’ve been there with those thoughts and honestly not one time have any of those anticipatory conversations ever occurred. Can you believe how much of my precious time I wasted with that when I could have been doing something that was much more beneficial for myself or someone I care about?

I may be wrong but my feeling is that when you keep coming back to a same space of hurt it is because it hasn’t been acknowledged, validated or heard. That is the central source of your emotional pain and even if you dispute that, whether you realize it or not, you are allowing that pain to maintain its residence in your heart and soul. If someone in your life keeps coming back to a specific point, know that that is their pain and if you care you will act, dismissing it only exacerbates the issue and shows them that you don’t care.

This kind of emotional hurt can stunt your progression to higher levels of awareness and connection so how do you get around it, get past it? These are the most challenging and difficult questions to answer.

Getting through or past something that has hurt the deepest part of your soul can only be accomplished by you, and only if you are willing to let it. Of course that’s easier said than done, when something has damaged your soul so extensively repair isn’t always just around the corner because you decided it would be.

I’ve had my experiences that have caused me hurt and finding the best way for you to release it is going to be a trial and error experience, what works for one doesn’t always work for another but it’s important to try and keep trying.

I can offer two options that worked for me and if they don’t work for you that’s ok, just keep trying, you deserve to be happy!

  • I’ve always found that I need to have my say, whether the one that caused me hurt is hearing it or not. Write out a letter to that person (DON’T SEND IT!) say everything you want to say, don’t hold back. Being able to get something out that’s been bottled up is a form of release and once I do that it leaves my prominent thoughts. I will always remember but I allow forgiveness, not for that person but for myself for believing that the experience could have been any different.
  • I have also tried a guided meditation, not just me trying to meditate or listening to a tape but an actual professional that guided me through it and honestly after I was done I felt lighter, more energetic and less interested in letting that experience waste any more of my life.

Sometimes it’s a small adjustment that can change your outlook and your life, sometimes it’s not so much that you’re broken but rather broken open. Being broken open isn’t as awful as it may sound, think about the atom and what was discovered when it was broken open and then imagine the other million things you haven’t discovered about yourself because they were hidden/sheltered behind a wall of protection caused by a mountain of hurt that prevented you from fully living and loving your life.

I do believe that when you are broken open you are at your most vulnerable but within that vulnerability you will discover more of yourself, your gifts, your talents and your hidden strengths. Even though allowing the space of vulnerability can be terrifying, being scared is a good thing because it means you’re on the edge of something great that is about to change your life for the better!


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Posted by on March 2, 2015 in Blog


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The Brighter Side of Life!

The Golden / Unwritten Rules

I have always felt a strong connection to my belief of what the “golden rules” represent and I’ve found that when I stay inside those boundaries I am providing myself with the benefit of a clear conscience and an enlightened heart.  I refer to them as the golden or unwritten rules and they are very significant and present in all that I think and do. 


They aren’t actual rules that are in place in print somewhere but the unwritten intention that separates right from wrong for me and for many of us.  They are my “voice of reason” as well as my “moral compass” on how I want to project myself to others and hopefully what I receive from others in return.  The biblical saying “do unto others as you would have them do to you” is the most significant way to portray this.

What I list below are my “golden rules” and as I’ve said there is no actual list written and every individual has their own specific life rules that they live by, individually fitting to each.  Generally though I’ve found that most people I’ve come across have a similar focus with little variation.

My Golden / Unwritten Rules

1)      Respect

2)      Honesty

3)      Loyalty

4)      Support

5)      Presence

There are so many personal rewards within when you stay in tune with your true self and your personal place in this world.  It is never too late to do or change anything that doesn’t fit in with your own individual happiness.  I believe that there isn’t anything that can’t be resolved or corrected when respect and honesty are present.

I’ve found that by living within these “golden rules” I have allowed myself a stronger sense of passion and purpose, and a greater opportunity to connect with those I come into contact with on a deeper level.  I don’t know if I can it express it clearly enough except to say that when I’ve made a deeper level connection with someone it’s something I’ve noticed within, a sense or feeling.  It’s these specific kind of connections that attach our spirits to those we develop them with and these connections are to be treasured and cared for.

Don’t forget to acknowledge and appreciate those that you hold dear in your circle, treat them with kindness and if not the same as my list, your own specific list, but stay true to yourself, who you are and how you want to be treated in return. 

Living positive is my successful way of life!


Posted by on June 12, 2012 in Blog


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