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Have A Word With Yourself!

You Can’t Change What You Don’t Acknowledge

Do you find, at times, that you jump to the wrong conclusions causing an inappropriate reaction before letting a conversation finish?

Do you find that those reactions are consistently having a negative effect on your relationships and communications with others?

Do you often believe that you are right without considering the possibility that there may be more for you to learn?

When you close your mind from empathizing, understanding, considering and/or acknowledging other points of view then you cut yourself off from your own evolution of personal growth.  Not only does this prevent you from developing your soul but it stagnates your relations with others as they continue to grow and evolve with others that share their interests.

We all want to connect, we all want to be heard and we all want to be acknowledged.

When you disregard another person’s feelings you are rejecting their right to have a voice, you are suppressing their concerns and most importantly you are negating their pain.

when-a-person-says-you-hurt-them

Respect, appreciation and gratitude are the foundation for every aspect of life;

Respect is not only those around you (like the waiter, the clerk at the store or someone down on their luck) but the items you use in your daily life, everything is energy!

If you were to abuse your vehicle, an appliance or your home eventually they would begin to deteriorate.  Nature and our environment thrive on the generosity of our respect, for it is all living energy that requires nurturing and without that becomes listless and dies, some damage irreversible.

Appreciation for every experience, lesson and opportunity can provide you with a renewed sense of insight.  Not just the good but sometimes even the worst experiences lead us onto a better path and usually with a stronger of self and clarity.  It may be that your purpose is connected to one of those experiences.

Lessons are also an essential part of life, not everything can be gained from the knowledge contained in books, first-hand experience is the best teacher you will ever have, sometimes not the most favorable but usually the most effective.  All opportunities are gifts, ones that shouldn’t be refused because they look like work or aren’t as appealing to the eye as you’d like.

Gratitude (noun):  the quality of being thankful; readiness to show appreciation for and to return kindness.

Is gratitude something you do occasionally or how you live?  Is your gratitude based only on what you receive from others or are you grateful for their mere presence in your life?  Do you only at times offer the words to express that gratitude or is it something you believe is just known by those around you?

Active gratitude is an empowering and happy energy to embrace and practice daily, one that will fuel and nurture your soul and the souls of those around you.+

Without gratitude you lose the whole purpose of your journey, without respect you lose yourself.

You can’t change what you don’t acknowledge!

prime-purpose-is-to-not-hurt-others

 
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Posted by on January 25, 2017 in Blog

 

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Do I Know You?

I Think We’ve Been Disconnected

Not all relationships are meant to stand the tests of time, some are a mere passing on the road of life, some are to assist with lessons and some are the lessons. Learning to understand and differenciate the two is a life lesson in itself, honestly I think the difficult stuff is there to keep us humbled so we don’t get egos that are wildly overgrown.

its sad

It’s sad when people you know become people you knew, sometimes others don’t realize you’re a lifer or you don’t realize they are a lesson.

Your path was in place long before you arrived and you navigate without knowing the plans ahead not just because you are in search of the answers but in search of your best life, which I refer to as the charmed life.

If you are influenced with a positive mindset then you are chasing your dreams, looking to create and cultivate positive change that enhances the lives of everyone you touch.

If you are influenced with a negative mindset then you are expecting your dreams to chase you, believing positive change won’t happen and not wanting to do the work.

Both of these mindsets influence and/or affect your relationships and the conversations within those relationships. It takes authenticity to build and maintain relationships and only one moment of disrespect to hurt them. Left unaddressed that dent in the armor of the relationship can cause distance and from distance comes disconnection and disassociation.different paths

Your path is meant for you, some people will stay and travel on it with you because their path is running parallel to yours, maybe you each have something to offer, inspire or motivate the other. These are spiritual agreements and those choices were made consciously prior to your arrivals. Challenges arise when forks in the road present themselves, decisions are required and your free will is granted, depending on the spiritual agreements with those on the parallel paths this may be where a disconnection occurs, not that there is some sort of ending but rather another beginning that only you have chosen to take. Sometimes you meet up again much farther ahead because the two paths cross again and depending on the disconnection, maybe you pick back up where you left off or maybe you don’t. I have more in-depth thoughts about those that come into your life on a previous blog “In Your Life for a Reason, Season or a Lifetime”.

The experiences you have when off the beaten path are needed to build inner strength, wisdom and courage for the next leg of your journey. There are sometimes hills to climb and storms that need to pass but eventually the sun comes out again.

Every once in a while you see a signpost on your path, a déjà vu of sorts, that reminds you of past relations and experiences. These signposts have been strategically placed, maybe a similar experience is ahead on your path that requires your awareness so you can be prepared.

The sum of all your experiences continue to shape who you are daily, if you allow the negative to live in your energy you can expect that nothing will go your way until you shift it.

buddha quote

 
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Posted by on November 3, 2014 in Blog

 

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R.E.S.P.E.C.T.

What it All Means to Me!

respectThis word or as I see it, “state of grace”, seems to come so easy to some but yet can be so difficult for others, anyone living without respect is depriving themselves of all the gifts that come with it.

I grabbed this definition from the internet and there were many but I think this one encompasses the aspects that are a little blurred in society today.

Respect:

It means valuing each other’s points of views. It means being open to being wrong. It means accepting people as they are. It means not dumping on someone because you’re having a bad day. It means being polite and kind always, because being kind to people is not negotiable. It means not dissing people because they’re different to you. It means not gossiping about people or spreading lies.

Respect is basic, the unwritten golden rule, and it’s not just about respecting others, there is respect for yourself, life, animals, earth, the environment and many more. When you have basic respect it flows effortlessly into everything you do, it feeds all self-nurturing aspects in yourself and others, like self-worth, pride of accomplishment and a job well done, not just done!

Respect lies within every experience and when you live and breathe it daily in your life so much wisdom and personal rewards will be gained.

What it All Means to Me:

We teach others how to treat us and what we are willing to accept and I haven’t been the greatest at standing my ground when I know I feel lessened and/or weakened in spirit by another. In the past I have allowed others to lower the level of respect I deserve because I felt I was being disrespectful or mean if I said otherwise.

I do find that as I learn to further embrace my strength my direction in life becomes more defined and the vision ahead takes a different but stronger and better focused shape.

Respect is the cornerstone to all aspects of life, it goes hand in hand with our personal integrity, it is the foundation of all successful relationships and when coupled with gratitude respect and many other states of being are enhanced. If you have gratitude/appreciation for where you are now and the blessings you’ve had in your life you won’t experience as much resistance on your path. Whenever I’ve questioned the Universe as to why a circumstance is so challenging I come across someone who is experiencing it at a deeper level and I am immediately humbled.

The Universe speaks to you through your inner spirit, your gut instinct to help guide you to the path you are meant to walk and it is always to your benefit to listen.

When you allow your inner spirit and voice to be heard you give yourself the opportunity to share and bond with the Universe and those in it as you were meant to and when you tune into that alignment magical things happen!

respect, magnificent world

 
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Posted by on May 21, 2014 in Blog

 

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The Relationship Within

Be Your Own Champion!

The most important relationship you will ever have is the one with yourself. 

I believe the relationship within travels a different path in everyone.  Sometimes we treat others better, sometimes we treat others worse but we should be treating ourselves the same way we treat others because when we start scaling ourselves against each other inner emotions start to feed the ego.  Respect for yourself first leads to respect for others and for life itself, respect is the key component to maintaining healthy relationships and gratitude the key for keeping the ego in check.  A relationship without respect or gratitude will inevitably become toxic and the length of time spent in a toxic relationship can determine the length of time it may take you to get over the emotional damage created from it.

respect yourself

Trying and failing will always be better than failing to try!

Failing to try will lower every form of how your value yourself, taking action will enhance your inner spirit and be a great reminder to you that nothing is going to keep you down.  Action is very motivating as well as rewarding because at the very least, whether success was achieved or not, your self-worth and inner devotion is nurtured, acknowledge and validated.  It doesn’t matter whether you win or lose, of course succeeding is always hoped for and welcomed but it doesn’t define you nor should you let it.  Regret is usually the experienced effect from wondering how things may have turned out had you tried and the best reason for at least taking a shot.  Regret stays with you, it stays there to remind you that you didn’t believe in yourself enough when you needed to and that exact same opportunity likely won’t present itself again.  We attract what we need when we need it and your personal growth and self-evolvement depend on you taking advantage of opportunities when they arise.  They aren’t presented at any old time, the Universe has carefully constructed all the necessary components needed to be in place to ensure your success.  Your emotional state of being, awareness and circumstance needs to be in alignment and the Universe knows when all of this comes together.  This isn’t just a guess, coincidence or dumb luck, everything happens when and how it’s supposed to and you are only asked to trust it and have faith.  If success doesn’t occur it’s not because you are a failure, it’s because it wasn’t meant to.  Success isn’t always what we think it is, I’ve learned plenty of lessons through failure and that is what turns out to be the success.  That education gave me the experience I needed to succeed in the area I’m supposed to, an area that I might not have succeeded in had I not had the experience.  Not everything is meant to work perfectly but all lessons and opportunities are meant to teach and advance us in some way.

lifes lessons

What is the Universe trying to tell me? 

Don’t drive yourself crazy trying to figure things out, they will become clear when they are supposed to.  Everything happens for a reason, by design, by forces greater than us conspiring to make it happen, nothing happens by coincidence.  Fate or destiny, however you want to label it, all happen for reasons not yet known to us.  Reasons that will eventually become clear at the time you are most open to understanding and/or receiving it.  You aren’t always open and there are times when circumstance detracts your attention and obstacles manifest, whether you’ve attracted them through your thoughts or not. 

Remember:  whatever you give the most thought to is what will increase and be sure to keep in mind that even if your conscious thought is thinking about something it wants to attract, your subconscious thought may be thinking otherwise.  These two states of awareness have to be in alignment (working together) to be positively effective.

For example: 

–          If you are thinking you want to lose weight consciously but your subconscious mind is telling you that it’s just not going to happen, then it definitely will not happen.

–          If you are thinking you want to quit a habit that is affecting your life negatively but your subconscious comes up with all sorts of reasons as to why it’s not going to work then you diffuse yourself before even starting and it definitely will not happen.

Not all but most of us have a habit of sabotaging our own efforts for a variety of reasons but there is one in particular that is most often behind it all and that is concession; acceptance and acknowledgement of defeat.  Giving up before you even begin to try is a good way to prevent failing but it’s a great way to prevent success, what you don’t realize is that you’re failing yourself by not trying.  You’re telling your inner spirit (the one that you should be nurturing) sorry the ego is going to win on this one because it’s the strongest but in reality it’s not it’s just the one you are choosing to feed.

If there is something you want out of life but you believe you will never have it, you will definitely succeed at never having it.  Your thoughts are more powerful than you may realize so be careful which side of the spectrum you place them.

Positive thoughts produce positive actions and positive results!

No matter what aspect of your life you desire to adjust or improve your heart and mind must be in it together, as long as they are there is NOTHING you can’t do!

Feed your inner spirit first, acknowledge what it needs and thrives on, validate and reward yourself for personal victories along the way and success will surely follow.

Ghandi-Quote

 
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Posted by on February 26, 2014 in Blog

 

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Don’t Let the Seed of Anger Consume You

How are Your Communications?

Sometimes it takes so little for a conversation to go sideways but it’s as easy as asking for clarification as to how you’ve heard something to determine someone’s intention.  Your own awareness in maintaining a level of control over your emotions will help to keep your levels from rising during conversations that have the potential of becoming heated.  Perception is Reality!

Anger serves no purpose except to upset and hurt those involved and if you let it, it will keep you stuck in that place of misery until you let go of it.

listening

The best communication is listening, acknowledging and validating what you’ve heard.  Verify back how you’re receiving things, not everyone interprets input the same way but you also need to be able to maintain some level of empathy and compassion to truly honor the communications so that resolution can be found, of course if that is the goal.  Nasty verbal ping pong isn’t fair play but can be so easy to get dragged into if your emotions get away from you.  I think it’s impossible not to have your emotions invested during open and honest communication but with determination it is possible to keep them respectful.

If you tune out during conversation to what someone is saying instead of really hearing and understanding them then you are sending them the wrong message but if you’re at a loss for words because you feel like you are in over your head and that you’re supposed to be helping them through an issue, the best thing you can do is to communicate that honestly.  You don’t always need to fix someone’s world and you’re not meant to, sometimes all one needs is acknowledgement and validation that they’ve been heard to help direct them toward the road of self-healing.

If someone is or has treated you badly for whatever reason it likely has more to do with them than it does with you.  People strike out at others for many reasons and usually it’s connected to their own emotional imbalances (eg: jealousy, inadequacy or defensiveness), to name a few.  Alternatively it could be something that is going on or isn’t going on in their life that they are hurt by.  Even though it’s not right that doesn’t make it any easier to take when you happen to be the punching bag in their immediate vicinity who is affected and sometimes it isn’t as easy to brush it off as we’d like it to be but again, awareness is key.  Knowing you’re okay, validating your own self-worth and letting it go through whatever process works for you is the best solution and in the long run less damaging to your inner spirit.  Any damage to your inner spirit that has the chance to continually cycle eventually has a consequential manifestation in your physical health and the longer it festers, the more the damage grows.

You can’t allow someone to take away from your personal power or to determine your level of worth, it’s their opinion, albeit an inconsiderate one but still just their opinion.  Regardless of what someone else may think that opinion isn’t the truth of you, even if what they say hurts, you know who you really are!

Your true circle of friends and family should be your resource for honesty and comfort and it is through them that validation of who you are is affirmed.

Always try to keep things real with yourself, be aware of what you’re saying and of how others’ are perceiving what you’re saying and that awareness creates a foundation that will enhance all your communications in a very positive way!

communication

 
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Posted by on January 16, 2014 in Blog

 

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I Wasn’t Mad at You!

I Was Mad at the Situation!

Have you ever said this to someone?  Did it have the outcome you expected?

Or:

Has someone ever said this to you?  How did it make you feel?

I’ve had this experience on the receiving end because honestly I could never say this to someone and actually think that it was ok.  The conclusion I’ve come to is that when someone says this it is because they are feeling helpless, inadequate or fearful and it seems to be a situationally based and reactive behaviour.  I believe that everyone’s feelings count but not when those feelings are used in a combative or hurtful way.

In a way this statement is an eye opener for you as to who the person really is and it reveals a lot about how they will handle any level of stress, especially if they are projecting their stress toward someone else.  It’s also a good indication of what you can expect to see in the future, similar to the theory “to see how someone deals with something give them a string of tangled christmas lights”, honestly that seems like a good theory.

We all have different levels of adversity to deal with in our lives, no one’s is more important the other’s, but if we all ran around biting each other’s heads off because we were mad about our challenges how would we ever learn to cope or gain wisdom while maintaining a level of integrity.

the problem

 

Even though I’ve heard many times that “people don’t change” or “leopards don’t change their spots” I believe that anyone can change their behaviourial lifestyle for the better, especially if it is currently working poorly for them, but the key is that they have to want to.  It’s hard work to make changes to behaviour, they are ingrained, they’ve developed from our early years and even though habits are very hard to break, they can be broken but in order to do that determination and willingness to meet that goal will be the biggest challenge.  My experience has led me to believe that anyone that makes this statement isn’t likely to change, not because they can’t but because they won’t.  They either don’t realize the effect they actually have on someone or they don’t take well to the response of hurt feelings and become defensive.

Any challenge that is difficult requires a strong and determined resolve to be successful and I’ve found that any time I attempt to do something I put my mind to there is no way I am going to allow myself to give up.  Any inkling that creeps into my mind telling me I can’t do something is not allowed to stay and that is my resolve and it works well for me.  Everyone is different though, just because my thought process works for me, doesn’t mean it will work for someone else and maybe each of us need to find some sort of adaptation that works to be successful.

It’s a big commitment to make a change like this, everyone has the ability and the opportunity but not everyone has the endurance to see it through to the end.  When you are going through something that is extremely challenging it’s a benefit to have some sort of validation from others that you are going to be successful but it’s not their validation that is the most important, it’s your own.  When you don’t get that validation it can become the reason to give up because it’s just too hard and no one’s patting you on the back yet anyway but that’s the test, the life lesson.

Life is full of challenges and how you deal, cope and adapt to those challenges is entirely your decision but I think it’s important to recognize and be aware of how those decisions may be affecting those around you that you care for.

good-bad life

 
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Posted by on July 10, 2013 in Blog

 

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The Road Ahead

Navigating Through Life

How has your road trip been so far?  Have you been able to negotiate the twists and turns?

I’ve heard the comparison of a road map as a reference to our own lives and I can relate.

These are my analogies to travelling the road of life:

–          Construction Zones (A Reminder of Patience – Don’t sweat the small stuff)

–          Soft Shoulders (Sugar Coating Communications – Tell them how you really feel)

–          Yield ( Respecting other’s Opinions & Feelings – We are unique, we all don’t think alike) 

–          Do Not Enter (Crossing Boundaries – know when to walk away)

–          One Way Street (Negative Thinking – Not every obstacle is as big as it seems)

–          Fork in the Road ( Making a Decision – choosing the path that’s right for You)

–          Gravel or Dirt Road (A New Lesson to Learn – Could be a long or short distance, depends on You)

–          Wrong Turn (You’ve Stepped Off your Path – A mistake)

–          Gridlock (Unable to Find Compromise – Only time will reveal)

–          Bridge is Out (Forgive and Forget – Not all mistakes can be repaired, time to move forward)

–          The Runaway Lane (Not Learning a Lesson – Our ego thinking it knows better)

–          Rest Stops (Regaining your Strength – Finding your personal power)

–          Hitchhikers (The People We Allow Into our Life – Positive or Negative)

–          Detours (A New Direction Not Considered – Relying on your gut instincts)

–          The High Road (Don’t Compromise your Integrity – Don’t lower yourself to someone else’s level)

–          All Green Lights (Positive Thinking, natural flow of the Universe)

Some of the various roadblocks that come up in our lives are there for a reason, some are a result of choices made (good or bad), some are there to teach us so we can learn and grow, some are there to serve solely as a “déjà vu” reminder to keep us from straying too far from the main road.

Most of these turns, bumps and challenges are in place to keep us on the straight and narrow, although sometimes we get off course, take a wrong turn and end up on the wrong end of a one-way street. 

  • Sometimes we get ourselves so far off course that our GPS is continually “re-calculating”.
  • Sometimes you end up having to make a complete U-Turn and go back to where you started.
  • Sometimes, you just can’t get there from here!

Not every road leads to a better life but all roads provide us with an opportunity for personal growth.  Along the way we can find great friends, love, passion, purpose and a greater understanding for how impactful positive thinking can be.

The Universe knows where we should be going but we have our own free will to ultimately decide.

 
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Posted by on July 24, 2012 in Blog

 

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