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The Tender Space of Hurt

02 Mar

Where does it all begin?

If you’ve ever been the one to inflict emotional hurt on another you may not realize how damaging your actions are, alternatively if that is your intent then you are very aware and obviously not operating from the best place of your souls’ purpose.

If you have been the recipient of this kind of action you already know the extensive damage it causes on the deepest part of your soul and so do those around you. What you feel and experience has a direct and outward effect on those closest to you.

Ever had a bad day come home and bark at everyone around you? I know I have and it’s not something I desire at all!

Through my own experiences as well as observation of others the tender space of hurt is vast and sometimes long-lasting. I believe the long-lasting effects are significantly reduced when the source of the hurt is acknowledged, validated and the recipient is allowed to have their voice heard.don't let others hurt others

Brushing something off, under the rug, ignorance is bliss, etc., does absolutely nothing to correct or abate the hurt in fact it can only make it grow, sometimes to an irreparable amount.   What follows can be a multitude of negative thoughts which turn into negative attitude, outlook and/or behaviour.

Keep in mind that action, reaction and inaction are all actions, each come with results and consequence. If you choose to ignore or overlook any of these the result may be that it diminishes your ability to connect with others, especially those you may really want to. You may end up closing yourself off from the world whether it is by choice or default because you just don’t know how to communicate or listen.

Awareness is the key to connecting with everything in your life, everything that is meaningful, supportive and loving. It is through your own heightened awareness that you can connect on every level with others and in the form that your soul seeks in finding the greater meaning of life. I think everyone at one time or another has wondered about their purpose, the big picture, the grand design of their lives and what it is all supposed to mean. What do you do when an emotional hurt changes the course of that interest and fills your thoughts and time with negativity?

I’m sure we’ve all been there; having the anticipatory thoughts of conversations, what we want to say to another, how we want to respond, how we expect them to respond. All of this is wasted time in your life and likely never to happen. I know because I’ve been there with those thoughts and honestly not one time have any of those anticipatory conversations ever occurred. Can you believe how much of my precious time I wasted with that when I could have been doing something that was much more beneficial for myself or someone I care about?

I may be wrong but my feeling is that when you keep coming back to a same space of hurt it is because it hasn’t been acknowledged, validated or heard. That is the central source of your emotional pain and even if you dispute that, whether you realize it or not, you are allowing that pain to maintain its residence in your heart and soul. If someone in your life keeps coming back to a specific point, know that that is their pain and if you care you will act, dismissing it only exacerbates the issue and shows them that you don’t care.

This kind of emotional hurt can stunt your progression to higher levels of awareness and connection so how do you get around it, get past it? These are the most challenging and difficult questions to answer.

Getting through or past something that has hurt the deepest part of your soul can only be accomplished by you, and only if you are willing to let it. Of course that’s easier said than done, when something has damaged your soul so extensively repair isn’t always just around the corner because you decided it would be.

I’ve had my experiences that have caused me hurt and finding the best way for you to release it is going to be a trial and error experience, what works for one doesn’t always work for another but it’s important to try and keep trying.

I can offer two options that worked for me and if they don’t work for you that’s ok, just keep trying, you deserve to be happy!

  • I’ve always found that I need to have my say, whether the one that caused me hurt is hearing it or not. Write out a letter to that person (DON’T SEND IT!) say everything you want to say, don’t hold back. Being able to get something out that’s been bottled up is a form of release and once I do that it leaves my prominent thoughts. I will always remember but I allow forgiveness, not for that person but for myself for believing that the experience could have been any different.
  • I have also tried a guided meditation, not just me trying to meditate or listening to a tape but an actual professional that guided me through it and honestly after I was done I felt lighter, more energetic and less interested in letting that experience waste any more of my life.

Sometimes it’s a small adjustment that can change your outlook and your life, sometimes it’s not so much that you’re broken but rather broken open. Being broken open isn’t as awful as it may sound, think about the atom and what was discovered when it was broken open and then imagine the other million things you haven’t discovered about yourself because they were hidden/sheltered behind a wall of protection caused by a mountain of hurt that prevented you from fully living and loving your life.

I do believe that when you are broken open you are at your most vulnerable but within that vulnerability you will discover more of yourself, your gifts, your talents and your hidden strengths. Even though allowing the space of vulnerability can be terrifying, being scared is a good thing because it means you’re on the edge of something great that is about to change your life for the better!

broken

 
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Posted by on March 2, 2015 in Blog

 

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