Tag Archives: connecting with others

Raising the Bar

Living through your Lessons with Joy

Your lessons shape you:

You are a product of the environment that you grow through, all your lessons build and shape who you are to become so they are definitely essential.  Even the more difficult experiences carry with them important elements of a plan that has not yet come to fruition.  No one knows their life plan and what things will look like ten, twenty or thirty years down the road.  Sure you may have ideas of what you want to see but how things actually turn out is really dependent upon how you play the hand you are dealt, how you process it internally and externally.

Your experiences and lessons are meant to challenge you to rise to the occasion and I guess the internal question to ponder is how are you doing with that?  Are you allowing the experiences to define you or are you daring to rise up stronger?  I can say with certainty that the lessons are not meant to tear you down to oblivion but instead to dismantle the elements you may have taken on that do no serve your spirit well, the elements you need to let go of or transform.  Not everything we carry with us emotionally is meant to continue past the experience except to be a point of reference (a signpost) for developing awareness.

My lessons have been challenging but not so challenging that I couldn’t recover or find a new path and that’s not because they weren’t very difficult but rather because I refuse to let any difficulty break me.  For sure they take time to go through and not every part of an experience is easy to step back from and be objective about but you need to be kind to yourself when you stumble.  It’s easy to chastise yourself for allowing something to go farther than it should have when you believe you should have known better and the inner dialogue that results can only damage your self-worth and self-esteem.  So the next time you are in the midst of a dilemma allow yourself a moment to step outside of that struggle, look at the experience as if you were providing an analysis or solution for a friend.  If it wasn’t your experience what would you advise a friend to do?  In that moment when you’ve stepped outside of it you’ve allowed yourself a little more objectivity and that can be very empowering in to finding resolution and/or a way to manage through to the end of the experience.

Fake it until you make it:

As difficult as some lessons feel keep telling yourself that you are loving them for the wisdom you know you are going to gain, embrace them even when they aren’t even remotely satisfying because without them you don’t get through to an ending, a closure.  Every experience can have a positive side effect come out of it you just have to want to find it.  It could be renewed strength, personal empowerment or an elevation of gratitude, many effects really.  What you are looking for to define the experience (positive or negative) is exactly what you will continue to find every time you relive it.  Your thoughts and how you perceive your experiences are entirely up to you, you can either lessen the damage or increase it, this is determined by the perspective you are encouraging.

When you talk about an experience you have the opportunity through your thoughts and words whether or not to let that experience be one that broke you or one that made you stronger, it’s your choice!  I say fake it until you make it, maybe at the beginning of that conversation it feels like it broke you but what you can relate to others is that it didn’t break you but made you stronger.  After a while of continuing to repeat those thoughts and words you begin to change the fabric of that story, you inevitably become stronger and while at the beginning you may have been faking it you are now making it true.

Stay present:

Not everything that happens to you occurs because of who you are, try not to take things too personally, I know at times that can be difficult but most often when you experience conflict it isn’t in direct relation to your lessons but maybe another’s, you may just be a part of their experience that is designed to awaken them.

It is a normal response to look for ways to escape the more difficult aspects in life, no one longs for difficulty or struggle but keep in mind it is a lot more taxing on the stress in your mind to resist the natural flow than to allow it.  As easy as letting go sounds in theory, it can be extremely difficult to actually begin that process, it starts with acceptance and brings immediate relief.  I think everyone at one time or another struggles with letting go, when I had the experience I hadn’t realized at that point how much effort it was taking from me to hold onto the resistance and how much relief I felt when I finally let things be.

Life’s ups and downs occur so you can develop boundaries, balance, happiness, clarity and direction.

Sometimes the necessity to find a way out when feeling overwhelmed can be the beginning of a new opportunity so it is important to stay present, eyes wide open.

It is important to me to learn from my past and look forward toward the future with hope while maintaining a strong presence in the now.

Connecting with others on a soul level is the most beautiful part of presence, don’t miss out pursue it passionately!

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Posted by on February 23, 2018 in Blog


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Talk to Me!

Communication is the Root

Like a speaker is hard-wired for sound, humanity is hard-wired for connection and without genuine communication that connection will never develop the strength it needs to stand tall. It’s so unfortunate that so many thoughts are left unsaid and because of that so many relationships break down and/or fall away.

Communication is the root to that feeling when you connect with someone on a level that feels beautifully isolated from outside effect. All connections have a different feel because your connection with one is never the same as your connection with another, they are always individually unique which is relative to the phrase of how each person holds a special place in your heart. As unique as the person, so is your connection with them, no two are alike.if only you knew

Every relationship carries different meaning, challenges, love and connection but all are as strong as the foundation they are built on. Authentic, direct and meaningful communication enhances, feeds and nourishes that foundation but without it the foundation will get weak.

Personally, I prefer authentic, direct and meaningful, I don’t like it when others speak in code or indirectly mislead, it’s a little too sneaky for my liking and having to decipher a hidden meaning or agenda just doesn’t appeal to me. If your communication is like this then you likely aren’t experiencing the true connections that your soul needs and are causing your own undernourishment. I think you will find much more of what your soul needs if you listen to your inner voice, it is your own personal compass, it is connected to the Universe and it will always guide you toward authenticity.

Everyone communicates differently and learning to understand and respect how each of those unique people in your life communicate with you will be a benefit that will help to prevent barriers and/or walls that sometimes pop up due to misunderstanding.

How I communicate and understand is different from everyone else and vice versa so I can’t very well expect that someone should understand my point of view just by an explanation that makes sense to me unless of course it also makes sense to them. While I do believe that everyone communicates and understands differently, there are times when we find a connection that travels on the same wavelength, kind of like tuning in to the same frequency. It doesn’t mean that it will always be that way for everything I think it just means you’ve found a common ground in a specific area.

It is those areas of common ground that the foundation of understanding begins which opens up the opportunity for unique connection. We all seek to connect with others because it provides us with balance, understanding, meaning and validation that we matter somewhere in this life. The more people you connect with the more your cup will runneth over because these true connections are the lifelines that feed your soul and your soul needs this form of nourishment to feel balanced, whole and at peace.

Listening is the counterpart of communicating and just as important, as is awareness to hearing what is not being said. I know that may sound a little confusing but I think that a lot of times when we feel we aren’t being heard, we stop communicating altogether and if you are struggling to communicate with someone that may be shutting down then you’re foundation may be in jeopardy and the strength and root of your common ability to communicate from the beginning will either build or break it.

I think “way back when” as in 60-100 years back, communication wasn’t recognized for the gem it clearly is. Connection wasn’t within the realm of awareness that it is now because the value of communicating and listening wasn’t realized. I believe people live longer these days not because as we all hear “life was harder way back when” but because the soul is receiving more nourishment by way of fulfillment through connection.


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Posted by on September 29, 2014 in Blog


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The Brighter Side of Life!

The Golden / Unwritten Rules

I have always felt a strong connection to my belief of what the “golden rules” represent and I’ve found that when I stay inside those boundaries I am providing myself with the benefit of a clear conscience and an enlightened heart.  I refer to them as the golden or unwritten rules and they are very significant and present in all that I think and do. 


They aren’t actual rules that are in place in print somewhere but the unwritten intention that separates right from wrong for me and for many of us.  They are my “voice of reason” as well as my “moral compass” on how I want to project myself to others and hopefully what I receive from others in return.  The biblical saying “do unto others as you would have them do to you” is the most significant way to portray this.

What I list below are my “golden rules” and as I’ve said there is no actual list written and every individual has their own specific life rules that they live by, individually fitting to each.  Generally though I’ve found that most people I’ve come across have a similar focus with little variation.

My Golden / Unwritten Rules

1)      Respect

2)      Honesty

3)      Loyalty

4)      Support

5)      Presence

There are so many personal rewards within when you stay in tune with your true self and your personal place in this world.  It is never too late to do or change anything that doesn’t fit in with your own individual happiness.  I believe that there isn’t anything that can’t be resolved or corrected when respect and honesty are present.

I’ve found that by living within these “golden rules” I have allowed myself a stronger sense of passion and purpose, and a greater opportunity to connect with those I come into contact with on a deeper level.  I don’t know if I can it express it clearly enough except to say that when I’ve made a deeper level connection with someone it’s something I’ve noticed within, a sense or feeling.  It’s these specific kind of connections that attach our spirits to those we develop them with and these connections are to be treasured and cared for.

Don’t forget to acknowledge and appreciate those that you hold dear in your circle, treat them with kindness and if not the same as my list, your own specific list, but stay true to yourself, who you are and how you want to be treated in return. 

Living positive is my successful way of life!


Posted by on June 12, 2012 in Blog


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