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Cause and Effect

When Change is Your Only Option

[ I haven’t posted any writings in the last few months as I am working on another book but recently I’ve had the thoughts below marinating in my mind and felt the need to share ]

what are you doing for others

Changes in life aren’t always planned or even known, sometimes they just occur all of a sudden and turn your world upside down, hopefully it’s a more positive experience rather than negative but what usually follows is a new ways of seeing, thinking, believing and living.

Transitioning into change isn’t always an easy road but it is naturally how the path progresses.  When you are moving from one phase of your life into the next the changes are not just what is around you, but also what is within.  Changing old habits and/or outdated ways of thinking usually manifests after you’ve either been resisting or struggling to move forward, sometimes without even realizing it.

All life evolves, that we all know and how you personally evolve depends on your choices which of course is of your free will to make but transition can be made easier if you choose to embrace it instead of resisting it (believe me, I’m not saying I’ve always done this, quite the opposite at times, but when you know better, you do better).  I’ve learned to recognize that when I am resisting transition (which I haven’t always been able to identify in the past) that I feel scattered, frustrated, blocked like I’m banging my head against a wall without fully understanding why only to later come to the realization, that “aha” moment, when things start to smooth out and make sense.  Clarity and awareness can be a beautiful thing.

Awareness in yourself is a learned experience, recognizing and reading the signs and symptoms in your own personality is an opportunity worth taking advantage of and sometimes necessary.  Rising to your own challenges will advance every aspect of your character and life but only if you are open to it.  You have to be open to it or it won’t work.

I choose to embrace the positive aspects in all areas of life, I do not like to shed light on negativity for too long because I’m very wary of feeding the wrong energy, but unfortunately sometimes (dare I say, too often) the negative happens and it needs to be looked at in order to raise awareness.

Awareness in others is also a learned experience, recognizing and listening to your inner voice.

When something doesn’t feel right, it isn’t!

Every time I have ignored my gut instinct it always comes back to bite me and that moment of realization, knowing I knew then what I’m learning now feels worse for me because I know I purposely didn’t listen.

I’ve seen a few too many in the last little while of those I care about that are taken advantage of because of their kindness and trust.  Too often when your gut tells you something is wrong you silence it, not always because you think you know better but because within the frame of kindness is the benefit of the doubt.  The benefit of doubt is given out of trust and those who do not have good intentions will manipulate and thrive on that because they are not serving a higher purpose, they are serving only themselves.

  • How does one learn to differentiate between the good and bad?
  • How does one learn to trust their instincts after falling victim to such toxicity and ill will?
  • How does one learn to trust others again?
  • Does the benefit of the doubt ever come back to you?

I think these are the questions you end up asking yourself over and over and over again when an event changes your life abruptly.

I wish there was a quick fix, a way to go back, a way to erase the damage, unfortunately there is not.  The quotes always say you have two options, you rise again or you let it define you, but I don’t know if I agree with that.

I believe there is one option, you rise again, become stronger!

The past cannot be changed, there is absolutely no way you can go back and re-write the story, there is no benefit to re-living it over and over in your mind, you are only torturing yourself. 

There is a process though and the only way to get through a storm is to brave it and fight your way through.  In order to move forward you have to feel the range of emotions as they come and let the wound heal in the time it needs to do so.

The lesson learned, the awareness gained will be that you refuse to give up your personal power to anyone again.  It’s not about forgiving someone else, someone who may or may not be sorry, it’s about forgiving yourself for gracing someone with your kindness and trust when they weren’t worthy of it.

The only thing you can do is make peace with it so you don’t re-live it every day in your present or into your future.  As terrible as an experience is, was or feels, the effects of the experience changes you and how that change manifests within is up to you.

Be a warrior for you!

mirror, mirror

 
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Posted by on June 11, 2016 in Blog

 

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Something’s Gotta Give!

When You’ve Gone Too Far Down the Rabbit Hole

Ever get to the point where you feel so overwhelmed in every area of life that the only resolve seems to be that “something’s gotta give?”

Life gets busy and sometimes you’re so hectic that you dig yourself so far down the rabbit hole you can’t see which way is up or out.

This kind of stress puts a significant strain on every part of your mental, spiritual and physical health which can manifest in a variety of ways producing outcomes that can challenge the state of your mindset. I’ve had experiences that have been extremely challenging and at times have caused me moments of what felt like extreme anxiety, finding an effective way to cope can be difficult but very necessary.

There are many areas of life that can cause stress; work, money, health, family, etc., and even though these are all valid stress points in life they can take a greater toll when you push back against what is meant to be. I believe that everything we go through happens for a reason, whether difficult or not, they are all there to help you gain a greater understanding and connection to your life and everyone in it.

The duress of this emotional baggage when constantly compiled on the soul eventually must find a way out and be purged, whatever outlet that may be through. For me, I write and that seems to be a great form or therapy because purging emotional stress is usually done through some form of communication to simply “get things off your chest”. Writing or journaling can be an effective outlet especially if you do not have someone to talk things through with to help you release it.

Alternatively it may not be that you don’t have someone there to talk to but rather some things just don’t feel like they can be communicated and/or articulated, sometimes you just have to find your own process for letting things go, put your faith in a higher power so that you can free yourself from that which is holding you back.

dark place

Not everything difficult is there to bring you down, maybe sometimes to humble you a bit if your ego gets a little too inflated, but ultimately there is some form or wisdom attached and if you don’t embrace it you’re going to keep going through it until you finally do. I don’t believe that these lessons are meant to break you but rather break you open so not only are you vulnerable but there are no walls left to resist what you are meant to learn and grow towards.

I think everyone has the moments of feeling despair but those moments are only part of the process and not supposed to continue on forever. At some point if you aren’t transitioning toward the next phase it means you are resisting and I know that resisting feels like the natural response and for a while it serves its purpose by allowing you the armor that protects while you digest and adjust.

Once you reach the point of when you are no longer able to continue your resistance this is when the lesson breaks through, it is the emotional equivalent of “rock bottom for the soul” because there is finally nothing more standing in the way of the healing that is now able to come through. Following healing comes enlightenment, “aha” moments and a stronger feeling of connection to not only the universe but all the people in it.

The humbling aspect of lessons is that they teach you gratitude, appreciation, compassion and empathy for others, what is released is judgement, anger, entitlement and egotistical rule.

Sometimes I think you can see what phases of these kinds of processes (experiences) others are in because it’s almost like those that are at the most wound up are almost at the beginning and on the verge of being broken open and those that breathe love and lack of judgement are just coming through the end.

Whatever phase you may feel you are in during a dark or difficult experience know that the only way to get through is to let go of your resistance. Know that there is wisdom, clarity and peace of mind on the other side of the storm but only if you allow it to crash and bang when it needs to, take cover and when the light starts to come back know that you won’t be the same person that went in.

All things happen when they are meant to and how they are meant to, you will never miss something that is truly meant to be in your life it will always finds its way to you and in the right time.

same person from the storm

 
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Posted by on June 1, 2015 in Blog

 

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Are You Willing?

To See Your Life Clearly

It’s the first step in that new and unfamiliar direction, the walk into the unknown where anything can happen, your anticipation is heightened and your vulnerability is exposed more than you are comfortable with but those are the moments that you need to push yourself to the next level because they carry your biggest opportunities and realizations.clarity

You know when I was younger I had no idea what was available for me to take advantage of, nor did I have the inclination to gravitate toward it because I had no direction, not for any other reason than I hadn’t yet become aware. You always hear people say “if I knew then what I know now”, those are the phrases you don’t fully understand until you become aware.

Awareness is a gift that can be refused or embraced.

If you are unhappy with your life than you are likely refusing to be aware of all that the Universe is offering to you, maybe your dissatisfaction is preventing you from seeing it. When you build walls to protect yourself out of hurt or fear you are also blocking your vision of possibilities. I understand that the walls built around you are for good reason and they keep you safe from anyone ever getting to you but that’s exactly it. Those walls keep out the bad but they also keep out the good, instead of the walls learn how to properly strengthen your boundaries so that past fear or hurt stays where it should be – in the past!

If you are content and viewing life with clarity than you are likely embracing awareness and your possibilities know no limits. When you are in this zone your vision and opportunities are uninhibited because you know “The Secret”, it’s so true and it’s not a secret, it’s the inner knowing that we all have, the clarity that removes the clouds. When you can see clearly, you see everything almost from a new set of eyes, ones that are not tainted by the dirty energy but rather enhanced by the clean.

I recently watched the PBS Special of Dr. Wayne Dyer’s titled “I Can See Clearly Now”, he is such an inspiration and to me, an icon of our time. I find that my line of thought process is very similar to his which is probably why I identify with his writing so strongly so it’s not surprising to me that the part of the show that stuck with me the most is also the excerpt he put in his latest book which he said also struck him and he credits from another author.

“If we stop for a moment it is possible to perceive a pattern in our lives, the motivators that have influenced us become much more obvious. We are able to see life unfolding from both ends at once coming into the present moment but until we get to a certain point of realization this is not possible because everything is still seen as a series of apparent causes and effects.”

If you take the time to step outside of yourself for a moment as if looking in on your life as a viewer you have the opportunity to see how much influence the divine has on your life path and how everyone that has come and gone from your life has in some way changed it so that it could proceed in the direction it is meant to go.

I don’t believe in coincidence, everything happens for a reason, every experience, every event, every relationship, every hurt, every happiness. They are all there to bring you higher learning, growth, direction and clarity and from that clarity comes this realization. Finding the balance between that which your inner spirit knows (the energy that is connected to Universal knowledge) and the life that you live daily is what makes travelling the distance challenging because sometimes you may accidently step off your path but I believe that if you venture too far off course the Universe finds a divine way to guide you back.

So now that you are aware are you willing? Change doesn’t happen overnight obviously but change doesn’t happen at all if you don’t make the decision to do so. Doesn’t that sound simple? It begins with your decision, that’s it! The next door won’t open without your conscious decision to walk through the first one and even though that first one is scary once you walk through it the ones that follow are easier.

enlightenment quote

 
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Posted by on June 18, 2014 in Blog

 

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