Tag Archives: inner dialogue

Raising the Bar

Living through your Lessons with Joy

Your lessons shape you:

You are a product of the environment that you grow through, all your lessons build and shape who you are to become so they are definitely essential.  Even the more difficult experiences carry with them important elements of a plan that has not yet come to fruition.  No one knows their life plan and what things will look like ten, twenty or thirty years down the road.  Sure you may have ideas of what you want to see but how things actually turn out is really dependent upon how you play the hand you are dealt, how you process it internally and externally.

Your experiences and lessons are meant to challenge you to rise to the occasion and I guess the internal question to ponder is how are you doing with that?  Are you allowing the experiences to define you or are you daring to rise up stronger?  I can say with certainty that the lessons are not meant to tear you down to oblivion but instead to dismantle the elements you may have taken on that do no serve your spirit well, the elements you need to let go of or transform.  Not everything we carry with us emotionally is meant to continue past the experience except to be a point of reference (a signpost) for developing awareness.

My lessons have been challenging but not so challenging that I couldn’t recover or find a new path and that’s not because they weren’t very difficult but rather because I refuse to let any difficulty break me.  For sure they take time to go through and not every part of an experience is easy to step back from and be objective about but you need to be kind to yourself when you stumble.  It’s easy to chastise yourself for allowing something to go farther than it should have when you believe you should have known better and the inner dialogue that results can only damage your self-worth and self-esteem.  So the next time you are in the midst of a dilemma allow yourself a moment to step outside of that struggle, look at the experience as if you were providing an analysis or solution for a friend.  If it wasn’t your experience what would you advise a friend to do?  In that moment when you’ve stepped outside of it you’ve allowed yourself a little more objectivity and that can be very empowering in to finding resolution and/or a way to manage through to the end of the experience.

Fake it until you make it:

As difficult as some lessons feel keep telling yourself that you are loving them for the wisdom you know you are going to gain, embrace them even when they aren’t even remotely satisfying because without them you don’t get through to an ending, a closure.  Every experience can have a positive side effect come out of it you just have to want to find it.  It could be renewed strength, personal empowerment or an elevation of gratitude, many effects really.  What you are looking for to define the experience (positive or negative) is exactly what you will continue to find every time you relive it.  Your thoughts and how you perceive your experiences are entirely up to you, you can either lessen the damage or increase it, this is determined by the perspective you are encouraging.

When you talk about an experience you have the opportunity through your thoughts and words whether or not to let that experience be one that broke you or one that made you stronger, it’s your choice!  I say fake it until you make it, maybe at the beginning of that conversation it feels like it broke you but what you can relate to others is that it didn’t break you but made you stronger.  After a while of continuing to repeat those thoughts and words you begin to change the fabric of that story, you inevitably become stronger and while at the beginning you may have been faking it you are now making it true.

Stay present:

Not everything that happens to you occurs because of who you are, try not to take things too personally, I know at times that can be difficult but most often when you experience conflict it isn’t in direct relation to your lessons but maybe another’s, you may just be a part of their experience that is designed to awaken them.

It is a normal response to look for ways to escape the more difficult aspects in life, no one longs for difficulty or struggle but keep in mind it is a lot more taxing on the stress in your mind to resist the natural flow than to allow it.  As easy as letting go sounds in theory, it can be extremely difficult to actually begin that process, it starts with acceptance and brings immediate relief.  I think everyone at one time or another struggles with letting go, when I had the experience I hadn’t realized at that point how much effort it was taking from me to hold onto the resistance and how much relief I felt when I finally let things be.

Life’s ups and downs occur so you can develop boundaries, balance, happiness, clarity and direction.

Sometimes the necessity to find a way out when feeling overwhelmed can be the beginning of a new opportunity so it is important to stay present, eyes wide open.

It is important to me to learn from my past and look forward toward the future with hope while maintaining a strong presence in the now.

Connecting with others on a soul level is the most beautiful part of presence, don’t miss out pursue it passionately!

Leave a comment

Posted by on February 23, 2018 in Blog


Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

You Are Enough!

Knowing Your Worth

Our value is very much attached and/or validated by our thoughts and our thoughts are fed through the Inner Dialogue of Self-Love and Self-Talk but that dialogue can be altered by outside influences during our weaker moments.

The weaker moments happen when you are feeling inferior, insecure or both and it causes you to question your self-worth in either one or all areas of your life but usually it’s only one area at a time.  I’ve found that I’m fairly confident when it comes to my career/work related area and I think that’s because there isn’t a lot of emotion attached because while it is the hand that feeds me (so to speak) it’s not the one that keeps me breathing.  My love (family & friends) is the area that keeps me breathing and feeds my inner spirit with all things that are beautifully and emotionally joyful and sometimes challenging.  Of course anything connected to emotion has the power to elevate you or take you down and it’s usually when you’re down that you question your worth.Jillian Quote


You need to have enough self-love for yourself before you can offer your love to someone else and if you don’t trust yourself then how can you trust anyone else?

–         When you are passionate about who you are you exude a light of warmth and contentment that doesn’t need any outside influence for validation and what you project draws others to you without effort.

–         Trusting in a Faith you cannot see or touch are the seeds of Hope and it is through that Belief that the soul is nourished.

–         Humility and Gratitude Always!  Your Ego will constantly wrestle with you for control but it is these two states of being that give you the growth without changing who you authentically are.


What do you tell yourself about who you are and how others perceive you?

You shouldn’t have to prove anything to anyone for them to believe in you.  If someone really cares about you they don’t need proof, they feel it and they honor that feeling by showing unconditional support through whatever context the relationship exists.highlight reel

–         You are a human soul with feelings and what you tell yourself should be just as honest and compassionate as it is with others.

–         Don’t assume that someone is thinking negatively of you unless they’ve actually voiced it.  Any assumptions I’ve ever made in that area have caused me to feel bad about myself needlessly.

–         Regardless of what your past has been we all deserve forgiveness.  You cannot change what was but you can create anew of what is to come.  Regret can be a breeding ground for negative self-talk and does not serve any purpose except for allowing the Ego to gain control.  It is through positive change going forward that regret is silenced.

I do believe that it is through our formative years that our true identity is created and the core of our being does not change but our formative years are the foundation and what grows around that foundation depends on who we aspire to become.  Yes, circumstance and outside influences definitely affect that foundation but our formative years are from a very early age (0-5 years) and within that age category there isn’t a good or bad seed that is planted but rather exposed and we always have the free will to choose which direction we want to gravitate towards.

If you feel like your worth isn’t as strong as you’d like it to be, whether that is from the effects of the external stresses of existence or not I believe it is your Love (family & friends) that are the keys to reinforcing your strength.  When others have drained you, whether that is by your own allowance or not, it is usually your family, friends or both that help you put the pieces of the puzzle back together.  It’s not that you are broken but rather that you’ve forgotten just how special and important you are to those that love you and they are there to remind you of your worth.

We are all here to learn, to experience and to grow and even
though our challenges and life paths are different from one another, no one person’s light is more important.



Posted by on October 29, 2013 in Blog


Tags: , , , , , , , , ,

Changing Your Thoughts

Changes Your Reality

One of my favorite quotes was said by Wayne Dyer:

When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change.”     –  Wayne Dyer

I’ve actually tried this and it really worked, the circumstance I was applying it to was at my workplace.  It wasn’t that I had a huge dilemma with a co-worker we just kind of rubbed each other the wrong way.  Much time has passed since changing how I was looking at things with this particular situation and I’ve come to realize that maybe the reason for my co-workers disassociation was caused by the disassociation I was projecting.  Oddly enough now, this co-worker is someone I really like, admire and respect and all it took was to change that around was to change how I was looking at things.

When you first try this it may feel odd ( I think mostly because it takes more energy to resist the natural flow ) but you will find that whatever you are projecting outward is what you will receive back so it makes sense that if you change that projection then what you get back will also change.

What I have to throw into the mix this week is  – “what if I am emotionally connected to the circumstance, how do I then change how I am looking at it?” 

When I am emotionally connected to a situation it can be very difficult to shift my thinking because it’s clouded by the emotional attachment.   The only way I can think of is to take away the emotion factor by disconnecting at the source, and this is not easy to do and I’m not so sure that is something I am able to do or if it’s the right thing to do.  It sounds simple in theory but when you get right down to it, it’s a lot harder to take on.  The way we really connect with others is emotionally based and if you’re already connected then how do you disconnect.  We aren’t robots, we don’t have switches we flip, we are energetic beings that sense and feel but if a circumstance is causing you stress or hurts you emotionally then removing yourself from it is the only solution.

My usual approach to any dilemma is to weigh out my options, kind of a like a pros and cons list.  This gives me a visual and when I write things out it makes it easier for me to come up with the best solution or plan.  This is an ongoing process for me, I’m not sure that I’ve found the best solution yet for myself or for anyone facing this dilemma.

The only solution I have is when a situation or circumstance is causing you stress or hurt then sometimes the answers are to look within.  As in the circumstance above, I was initially causing the discrepancy I was having and had I realized that sooner I would have changed my thinking around much earlier and saved myself the discomfort.  What I know now is that when I do have any issues, I start with me.

If you need to search further then maybe the answers can be found by talking things over with a close friend who can help you to find the answers you need individually.  Sometimes in doing that you will find the answers much easier than trying to figure it out on your own.

I’m going to leave you with Wayne Dyer’s daily affirmation which is a very significant ending to this blog.

Monitor Your Inner Dialogue

Recognize that what you think about, expands. Monitor your inner dialogue, and match your thoughts to what you want and what you intend to create.

Leave a comment

Posted by on April 3, 2012 in Blog


Tags: , , , , , , , ,