Tag Archives: self-talk

What Are You Talking About?

Your Thoughts and Energy are a Package Deal

Have you ever noticed that what you consistently think and/or talk about is what keeps showing up in your life?  Chances are it’s the negative aspect that you probably notice the most because it’s what you don’t want.  Positive occurrences are most times thought of as luck and not the manifestation of your thoughts, even when they are positive.

Depending upon which energetic field your thoughts and conversations fall under (positive or negative), you can expect it will all become a self-actualizing prophecy for you because your thoughts and energy are a package deal.  What you think and talk about is what you will create, so be very wary of which energy you are feeding.

I think we all notice the result of negative thinking more because it’s an aggravation to have it show up in your life, so you stress about it, talk with others about how bothered you are by it.

Pay attention dear one, you are now feeding it!

I think everyone has had the bad day, the bad week, the bad month, hopefully not so much the bad year but all of this is the creation of your thoughts.  It’s hard to change the process around from talking about the things that you don’t want especially when they are upsetting to you.  It’s a natural thing to want to discuss, deal and discard the things that have either hurt or hindered you from moving in the direction you want to see yourself going.

By becoming aware of how those thoughts and conversations are influencing what you see develop day after day in your life you will understand how important it is to curb anything negative.  No matter how hard it is at the beginning to change that habit, that addiction to processing, the changes you see develop as a result will be inspiration enough to continue on.  Day by day it becomes easier to let those irritations not weave their way back in and you will see a new habit evolve, a healthier way of life that leads you to the things you want and the things that are meant for you.

Are you seeing the light?  That’s really what it’s like, the positive aspects of life bring a lightness to your life because you are allowing the weight, the heaviness of the negativity to be lifted from you and in reality all you’ve done is allowed your soul its freedom.  The soul, your inner spirit seeks purpose, connection, and an environment that inspires and cultivates your higher calling.  Imagine a place where all things are possible, this is it!

Why do we not embrace it?  Simply because it is the ego that keeps you immersed in a negative, fear based state, all for the sake of controlling you from believing that you can access this place, this state, this happiness.


I’ve always heard that comparison and it had been difficult for me to recognize/differenciate the two (ego & spirit), I didn’t feel like there was any power struggle actually going on, at least nothing that I could easily identify.  When the ego is trying to control though I’ve learned to recognize how it affects me physically and emotionally which shows up like stress, anxiety, a general feeling of disarray in my thoughts which is ultimately resistance between the two opposing sides.

I think how it presents itself is different in everyone.  We are all unique so it makes sense that it’s not a one-size-fits-all kind of answer or solution, it’s just a matter of raising your own awareness.  It’s not like being able to see the difference between colors of black and white but that is how opposing these two really are.

Ego (the brain) wants to rule because it knows, it knows better, it knows all and who’s going to argue, it’s gotten you this far hasn’t it?  Egotistical tells you how great you are, how much you deserve and where you should be.

Spirit (the soul) doesn’t want to rule anything, it wants to give you free will, to choose what your heart desires, to choose what nourishes and feeds your inner glory.  That’s it.

My four steps to counteracting my ego when I notice physical or emotional changes in my thoughts and energy are awareness, choice, acceptance and faith.

Awareness:  Learn to recognize how your external world affects your internal thoughts and energy, what triggers the negative and what cultivates the positive.

Choice:  You always have a choice!  The reasons you choose to tell yourself as to why you can’t do or change something is always prompted by the ego.  Choose to shut it out.  Choose to find greater understanding and awareness, it will show up because once you’ve made that choice you are now open to those answers.

Acceptance:  It’s not always easy to accept the things you cannot change but accepting that you don’t know everything all the time, that maybe some things you’re not supposed to change, sometimes you’re supposed to adapt.  Maybe the Universe has a different plan!

Faith:  When you fall into a dark place sometimes it’s hard to have faith, this is where I think acceptance is linked.  Everything happens for a reason, even things you don’t understand, the bad things too and how could there possibly be a reason for them?  The understanding comes later, sometimes years later but I think it occurs when you’ve made that shift, embraced that which you don’t understand but made it through the storm anyway.

These “Lessons of the Tao” which I became aware of, with great thanks to Dr. Wayne Dyer (1941-2015), help to keep things in perspective for me;

  • Change your thoughts and your life will change
  • There is no way to happiness, happiness is the way
  • You accomplish much by trying less
  • Trust in others to know what’s best for themselves
  • Live without attachment and be generous
  • When you have a choice to be right or to be kind, always pick kind
  • Rather than looking for miracles, see everything as a miracle in your life



Posted by on September 21, 2016 in Blog


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Dream Big, Dare Greatly!

It’s Never Too Late for Action

If it is something you have dreamed about, you need to act, if it is all that you’ve ever wanted, you need to act, if it is within your grasp, you need to act!

There is more self-loathing contained in the one that never takes the chance, whether you are held back by fear or not, taking a chance at your dreams takes courage and when you feed that courage you gain strength and confidence in yourself.

I never would have ventured the thought that within vulnerability lies your biggest source of strength but it is and challenging yourself when you feel the most exposed and vulnerable is like recharging your stamina meter, look out world I’m on a mission!

You may think that being vulnerable is being weak but it is actually being strong, strong enough to show your own vulnerability. When you do this, I’m not going to lie, it can be really scary but what you gain is inner strength, there is no greater exposure to who you really are, no one could expose you any further because you’ve already opened up your vulnerable

You can’t get to courage without walking through vulnerability…

Vulnerability is the birthplace of everything we are hungry for…

Both of these statements were quoted by Dr. Brene Brown and I definitely agree with them, I experienced this exact epiphany (although couldn’t articulate as beautifully) but these words are true and you won’t be able to really understand how profound it really is until you step into your own space of vulnerability.

What you think about yourself is more important than you may realize, how you view your importance and place in this life is what feeds your self-pride and/or your courage to take a chance and go for what you want.

The quote below is now added to my collection of favorite quotes for a few reasons, I have observed a variety of different personalities, some I gravitate to and some I gravitate away from.

Theodore Roosevelt quote that Dr. Brene Brown references at the beginning of her latest book “Daring Greatly”:

It’s not the critic who counts, it’s not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles or where the doer of deeds could have done them better, the credit goes to the man who’s actually in the arena, whose face is marred with dust and sweat and blood, who strives valiantly and who errs and fails and is sometimes victorious but when he fails as least he does so daring greatly!

There is always going to be those that stand at the sidelines too afraid to try and full of self-loathing because of it and what they point out as your faults are really how they feel about themselves, they likely have more respect for you because you tried and are mad at themselves and jealous because they lacked the courage to dare greatly.

It doesn’t make them any less of a person, I think it’s just because somewhere along the line their courage and faith got broken, your self-talk is so important because you can either make or break yourself further with your own thoughts but realize it doesn’t mean that’s it and you’re over!

It’s never too late for action to change everything around you, it starts with your thoughts and that’s not going to cost you a thing, except some faith. Every day or every week you can change one thought about yourself from negative to positive, thoughts become attitude and then outlook and before you know it the world around you starts to change and mold according to those new positive thoughts.

Change your thoughts, change your life….. Wayne Dyer

Don’t you believe you are worth it?

  • I do! I believe we are all worth it, all deserving of the living the life we want, all you have to do is take action, be positive and don’t give up! Why would you expect that your best life is to come to you and not the other way around? Anything worth having, is worth doing the work for!

We are only victims of the prisons we put ourselves in with our thoughts so change your thoughts!

Don’t let your self-talk ruin you, you’re better than that and deserve better than that and you can have anything you want as long as you’re willing to do the work, make the sacrifices and never take no for an answer!

Dream Big, Dare Greatly and do it with Integrity!

dare to dream

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Posted by on April 20, 2015 in Blog


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You Are Enough!

Knowing Your Worth

Our value is very much attached and/or validated by our thoughts and our thoughts are fed through the Inner Dialogue of Self-Love and Self-Talk but that dialogue can be altered by outside influences during our weaker moments.

The weaker moments happen when you are feeling inferior, insecure or both and it causes you to question your self-worth in either one or all areas of your life but usually it’s only one area at a time.  I’ve found that I’m fairly confident when it comes to my career/work related area and I think that’s because there isn’t a lot of emotion attached because while it is the hand that feeds me (so to speak) it’s not the one that keeps me breathing.  My love (family & friends) is the area that keeps me breathing and feeds my inner spirit with all things that are beautifully and emotionally joyful and sometimes challenging.  Of course anything connected to emotion has the power to elevate you or take you down and it’s usually when you’re down that you question your worth.Jillian Quote


You need to have enough self-love for yourself before you can offer your love to someone else and if you don’t trust yourself then how can you trust anyone else?

–         When you are passionate about who you are you exude a light of warmth and contentment that doesn’t need any outside influence for validation and what you project draws others to you without effort.

–         Trusting in a Faith you cannot see or touch are the seeds of Hope and it is through that Belief that the soul is nourished.

–         Humility and Gratitude Always!  Your Ego will constantly wrestle with you for control but it is these two states of being that give you the growth without changing who you authentically are.


What do you tell yourself about who you are and how others perceive you?

You shouldn’t have to prove anything to anyone for them to believe in you.  If someone really cares about you they don’t need proof, they feel it and they honor that feeling by showing unconditional support through whatever context the relationship exists.highlight reel

–         You are a human soul with feelings and what you tell yourself should be just as honest and compassionate as it is with others.

–         Don’t assume that someone is thinking negatively of you unless they’ve actually voiced it.  Any assumptions I’ve ever made in that area have caused me to feel bad about myself needlessly.

–         Regardless of what your past has been we all deserve forgiveness.  You cannot change what was but you can create anew of what is to come.  Regret can be a breeding ground for negative self-talk and does not serve any purpose except for allowing the Ego to gain control.  It is through positive change going forward that regret is silenced.

I do believe that it is through our formative years that our true identity is created and the core of our being does not change but our formative years are the foundation and what grows around that foundation depends on who we aspire to become.  Yes, circumstance and outside influences definitely affect that foundation but our formative years are from a very early age (0-5 years) and within that age category there isn’t a good or bad seed that is planted but rather exposed and we always have the free will to choose which direction we want to gravitate towards.

If you feel like your worth isn’t as strong as you’d like it to be, whether that is from the effects of the external stresses of existence or not I believe it is your Love (family & friends) that are the keys to reinforcing your strength.  When others have drained you, whether that is by your own allowance or not, it is usually your family, friends or both that help you put the pieces of the puzzle back together.  It’s not that you are broken but rather that you’ve forgotten just how special and important you are to those that love you and they are there to remind you of your worth.

We are all here to learn, to experience and to grow and even
though our challenges and life paths are different from one another, no one person’s light is more important.



Posted by on October 29, 2013 in Blog


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