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If You Change How You View Things

Then You’ll Change How You Do Things

Something Old:  Sadness from your experiences is a state of being and is supposed to be the temporary transition period until you have found healing.  It is when you stay in that space for too long that it begins to become a part of your life, the reason for not moving forward and harmful to your soul.

It is my observation when I see someone unhappy or dissatisfied in their life that they are not actually disconnected but most times just feeling that way.  Isolation of the soul can be more damaging to your quality of life but it is the ego’s way of controlling your thoughts and your thoughts can overshadow even the best of realities.  It isn’t always that others are against you as you may feel at times and when you change how you are viewing a situation in your life then it changes the entire validity of that negative thought.  This is not just a theory by Wayne Dyer about changing the way you look at things and the things you look at change, I have actually tested it and it proved to be true which effectively changed the dynamic of a relationship I had viewed differently as well as shifted it into a more positive direction.  Had I done this earlier I wouldn’t have had to endure the thoughts I created with my view for so long which caused discomfort, disharmony and friction.

This isn’t to say that sadness you experience is unfounded but rather that it doesn’t need to stay in the forefront of your thoughts and life for as long as you sometimes allow it.  I’m not discounting that there could be someone or something at the source of an unhappiness but when you know that what is the best route for your soul to take when this occurs?  As always remedies to anything isn’t a “one size fits all” type of decision and outcome but developing your awareness to recognize when you become stuck is how you eventually find your way out of that fray.  Whenever I experience difficulty I consciously step back and look for a different view or perspective because I am aware that the alternative is restrictive thought that can alter my quality of life and I would much rather look for the lesson than fan the flames of the issue.

My remedy?  It starts with communication; expressing and understanding how I, you and all of us affect others within the communications we have.  It is my thought that the biggest misunderstandings can be traced back to a breakdown in communication because this is how we connect with each other, how we are heard and how we are validated.  I understand the feeling of wanting to be heard and validated in the midst of a difficult conversation but when you offer the same in return to the other person you are opening the lines of communication back up and showing by example that you too are dedicated and compassionate about finding resolution.  It’s so much more important to be kind over being right!

You must be the change you wish to see in the world – Mahatma Gandhi

This is no different than any one person extending a piece of themselves compassionately and/or empathetically to nurture and nourish their family, their pet, a garden or those around them in their community.  This is what keeps that interconnected link between us all free and clear of the debris that can corrode and compromise it.

As you evolve letting go of thoughts, attitudes, behaviours and patterns that are no longer working for you relieves the burdens of stress and creates the space that allows for open thought and different views.  My resolve for this struggle in my life was to expand my awareness so I could recognize this for what it was, resistance.  I used to think of resistance in only one definition until I knew better.  In the past my association was relevant to participating in competitive sports as opposition.  Resistance to me was coming up against a roadblock to the direction in which I wanted to go.  What I’ve come to better understand is that at certain times in my life I have embraced resistance when I didn’t allow my natural path to flow unknowingly creating my own brand of opposition.  Of course as we all go through experiences we hopefully learn from them and for this particular aspect in my life I’ve gained an awareness of the part I have played when trying to direct my destiny instead of allowing it to unfold.

Resistance by definition is:  the refusal to accept or comply with something; the attempt to prevent something by action or argument.

I feel it’s just about being consciously alert to the changes that occur for you when resistance is on the horizon and channeling that energy into a more positive outlet to serve you better.

Something New:  I think the best direction to always go is toward the positive, well of course!  Obviously I don’t know everything there is to know about all things but what I do know is that you won’t exact change while embracing the energy that created an issue to begin with.  It is only through doing something different that different results occur.

Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different result – Albert Einstein

What separates us at times is ego, an ego unchecked, imbalanced and overexposed can become overwhelming not just to the people around but the one carrying the imbalance.  A good way to determine what you are projecting is by noticing what you are attracting.  What are your dominant thoughts and are they positive?  Do you see experiences occur in your life that coincide and/or support those dominant thoughts?  If these are not the experiences you want to see changing your views is the beginning.  When you invest more of yourself into the people and experiences it breathes new life into those connections much like the cup runneth over.  In turn you will find that as your energetic output positively changes so does theirs in response.

It is not any one person’s responsibility to fix we are all connected and here to work together.  It’s not enough that we hope someone else is taking care of things but rather that we all work as one, stronger and united in the common goal of caring, nurturing and growing the world around us positively.  Separation exists in ego form and serves only to honor its purpose which divides our souls in human existence only.

If you are looking for inspiration, choose the Lennon of your pleasure in the links below! 

While they are both gifted musically and creatively the messages at the forefront that resonate with me serve more as a collaborative guide with which to motivate and inspire us all to look within and help when and where you can.  If we are collectively all working to support and lift up those around us then the environment in which we live becomes the beautiful place it is supposed to be!

I love life, the people in it with me, experiencing joy with them and doing what l I can to preserve and not hurt the natural beauty of the environment we’ve been blessed to enjoy.

Imagine – John Lennon ………. “You may say I’m a dreamer but I’m not the only one”

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jluuMN3xGU0

Saltwater – Julian Lennon ……… “We are a billion children rolled into one”

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lk6QLXWL-Io

 
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Posted by on May 19, 2018 in Blog

 

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Your Destiny Awaits!!

Who Do You Want To Be?

After an extended holiday break I’ve had lots of time to relax and recharge my thoughts and of course with a new year comes new ideas, resolutions and personal promises but I think the burning question is “who do I want to be?”

Life isn’t just about me and it isn’t just about others, it is the harmonious and meaningful balance between the two that help develop the best version of yourself.

It’s not about what you have done or attained, I think it’s more about what you’ve overcome or changed to ensure a more awareness enhanced life that benefits not only you but those around you.  Getting in touch with the “real you”, your core, is actually quite easy because your instincts/intuition is always plugged in, it’s just a matter of letting that inner voice be heard.  What does your soul tell you, what does your heart want and are you listening to them at all?  Are you being true to yourself for yourself and not for others, that is where the true happiness and inner peace comes from, its internal, not external.

who do you want to be

What is deemed important for you by others is not necessarily what is best for you and learning to heed the warnings and understand the signals are what will keep you self-aware and grounded.  Your best self is the one you don’t have to pretend to be, what you present in all naturalness is your most authentic and usually what others are most drawn to.  When you are unauthentic or trying to suppress the “real you” because you think others won’t like you then not only are you not giving yourself a chance but you aren’t giving others a chance and everyone loses.

Authentic is the “real you”, being yourself gives others the chance to know your heart, your soul, your passion and your many other qualities.  When you are truly authentic you are completely in check with humility, gratitude and inspiration, all the beautiful qualities that create the moments to cherish and the opportunities that flourish.

Ralph Waldo Emerson said it best:

To laugh often and much; To win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children; To earn the appreciation of honest critics and endure the betrayal of false friends; To appreciate beauty, to find the best in others; To leave the world a bit better, whether by a healthy child, a garden patch, or a redeemed social condition; To know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived. This is to have succeeded.

Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803 – 1882) American Essayist & Poet

Now that is success!  If you achieve one you’ve succeeded, if you achieve more than one, that is twice blessed, more to aspire to and more to be proud of.  An enormous amount of personal gratitude comes with personal successes like these not because of any sort of adoration or recognition that may accompany it but because of the personal rewards from seeing others truly happy, knowing you were a part of it.  Gratitude for having been given the opportunity not because you are looking to tip the scales of karma in your favor but simply because you can, because you are able to.

There is a bigger meaning to life and I think all of us at one time or another get lost in the hectic and forget the blessings in our own lives not because of a lack of gratitude but because the distractions in life become so over-stressed.  Humility becomes familiar again when things slow down and you have a moment to look around and reflect, to realize how quickly things could change and how easily that might shift your emotions.  It is only through compassion and empathy when you see others down on their luck that you realize that could be you and if it were would you handle it as respectfully as some people do?  Would you fall apart and blame others and/or life or would you get back up, dust yourself off and try again?  Strength of character runs high in those that refuse to give up their tenacity, ambition or integrity.

Alternatively when you see others that are high on the success scale, those who seem to have it all but are also very grounded and happy.  Does it motivate or inspire you to also seek higher goals for yourself, to emulate and/or aspire to be like another, not because you want to be that person but because the qualities and personality as a result of that inner peace and connection is magnetic and you too want to feel that happiness.

You always hear that when people get to the end of their lives they start reflecting and thinking about the beginning, times that they regret and wish they had made better choices or taken different paths.  While I always think it’s great to reflect and even better not to have regrets the important aspect of it all is the learning and I say “why wait, start asking yourself these questions now, the earlier the better”.

Your Destiny Awaits!!

Who Do You Want to Be?

Click the link below for some light inspiration 🙂

Dance with Me Tonight; Tim Halperin

 
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Posted by on January 30, 2016 in Blog

 

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When You Know Better, You Do Better

Strengthening the Ground You Stand On!

This eye-opening phrase comes from Maya Angelou and I first heard it when watching an Oprah Winfrey show a few years ago and even though at the time I thought I understood the meaning it turns out it didn’t fully sink in until recently when watching one of Oprah’s Lifeclass segments where she really dug into it.

Even though all of her shows, master classes and now lifeclasses focus on life enrichment and enlightenment for the betterment of our inner spirits I have always found it amazing that she could interview anyone and I mean anyone, including those that have been negatively labelled by society. How does she do it without reservation or judgement with regard to the actions that have brought the negative labels attached to them? A lot of times we can end up judging another person based on what we’ve heard or seen of their actions but who are we to judge? I’m quite sure that no one is perfect, everyone has made a mistake at one time or another.

I have chastised myself for the times I’ve allowed others to take advantage of an aspect of my personality and what I finally got from this phrase was while it was not nice for someone to take advantage they were able to do so because I let them, now I know better. I can’t continually punish myself for the actions of someone else because I was hurt by it, all I can do is learn from it and strengthen my boundaries so it doesn’t happen again “When you know better, you do better”.

awakening

What an “aha” moment it was when I finally got this in its full context and along with it came the enlightenment that if someone hurt me in my past I can’t continue to judge them for it now or carry it into my future because I allowed it, I let it happen. I didn’t knowingly consent to it but I also didn’t object, I didn’t communicate my discontent and that’s on me. Just maybe, they didn’t know better or maybe they did but that doesn’t matter because all actions have karmic consequences doled out only by the Universe and if someone knowingly and/or willingly takes advantage of another it is not my karma, it is theirs.

Negative experiences usually cause internal emotional hurt and/or pain and we all deal with these kinds of experiences differently. Some act out aggressively to release it, some internalize and act out passive aggressively and some bottle it up. The best way to heal is to acknowledge the hurt, allow yourself to feel it so you can make peace with it, learn from it and only then can you truly move forward and release it.

Negative experiences can sometimes stall you in life and paralyze you from moving forward, keeping you in that time to remember it over and over again. Knowing and doing better because of it frees you.

I’ve made my own mistakes, I learned from most of them, sometimes I had to make them twice to learn but “when you know better, you do better”. I certainly don’t make the same mistakes anymore because now I know better and what I’ve now learned to consider is that maybe those who have caused me hurt in the past were acting out of their own pain. Embracing this philosophy has given me a heightened sense of awareness into myself and others and has shown me another level of the “judgement” lesson, I don’t think any of us ever have it all figured out. This “aha” realization has taught me the deeper meaning of empathy and its connection to all of our emotional challenges but in this case specifically judgement, which has allowed me to further my trust that the Universe takes care of us all in relation to the life we live and the seeds we sow.

when-you-know-better-you-do-better

 
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Posted by on April 23, 2014 in Blog

 

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Oh No! Not Again!

Some Patterns are Hard to Break

The most undesired moment of clarity comes when you realize that you have fallen into the same dynamic again within any or all of your relationships and trying to determine the root cause of this continual pattern can be a frustrating journey.

One thing for sure is that just because you find yourself in this predicament doesn’t mean you require a therapist to find your way out (unless you want to of course), it just means your awareness is expanding and that expansion is whispering to you to discover a better way of life, one that includes inner peace and contentment.

chance, change

I believe there are a couple key points to consider when starting down this particular road of self-discovery:

1)      From the time we are young we begin to develop habits and preferences based on our environment, our experiences and our desires.

In my opinion, our environment in our early years plays the most significant part in our development and future choices which I’ve discussed more in depth in one of my previous blogs “Some Emotions Can Run Deep”. 

2)      What is modelled to us through the relationships during our formative years, regardless of whether or not they are healthy, becomes familiar and that familiarity can end up being the stepping stone that leads us down a similar path and into a similar relationship dynamic.

Obviously no one chooses to deliberately become involved in relationships that can be disheartening or damaging but sometimes that can’t be avoided, familiarity (whether healthy or not) can be the trigger that draws you in.change ahead

The only way to keep a pattern like this from repeating is to find its root cause and learn what the triggers are that lead your emotions to pull you in that direction.

It may be that whatever you think the root cause is isn’t actually the root cause at all.  My own discoveries were so simple in theory that it almost seemed ridiculous to me, I figured it had to be something obscure and so deeply ingrained that I would have had to peel back layers and layers of life to figure it out but that wasn’t the case at all.  My realization was that I was I compromising one need to fill another but that these two needs were never connected in any way so it was impossible for my way of dealing with this pattern to ever work.  Even though this discovery seems like a “no brainer” to me now, it wasn’t then and that’s because my awareness had not yet developed enough to allow me that insight.

When you feel imprisoned by your pattern your world can seem bleak and restrictive so the earlier these inklings of insight and awareness start the earlier your life can begin to evolve towards a more positive, productive and healthier state of mind.  Our awareness is continually expanding and with every year that passes we have the opportunity to gain further insight and personal development.

Gratitude is a good place to start, there are so many aspects of our lives that could be compromised worse than they actually are.  If you were to stand in a circle with a group of people and everyone put their troubles in the middle I think you might find that after viewing their troubles you would be glad to pick your own back up, walk away and have gratitude that things could have been much worse.

gratitude

 
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Posted by on May 1, 2013 in Blog

 

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