Changing your Patterns
Do you find that no matter how much you think a situation is different this time you end up with the same outcome? A pattern that repeats itself continually is a sign that you aren’t dealing with something and it’s going to keep coming back, usually it hits harder each time. This is the Universe’s way of reminding you that in order to have a different outcome you need to change your patterns.
Definition of Insanity: Doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result.
No one gets through life without some pain but the pain doesn’t need to continually occur because you haven’t recognized the variety of consistencies that you keep repeating. I think when we repeat the same pattern the awareness we need to develop is learning to recognize that there is an underlying issue that needs to be addressed. The pattern exists because there is at least one area within you that is lacking and somewhere in the repetition of the cycle that area is being fed by the pattern, figuring out those areas can only be discovered through honest self-reflection. My personal opinion is that the patterns we play and re-play in our lives are created from something that began and/or was learned in our formative years, those are the years that truly are the most important time of our lives. Those years create and form the basis of who we are and will become and what we see and learn in that time is what we will continue to seek out whether we realize it or not.
The only way for us to progress is by changing the patterns that we imprison ourselves with.
So if you know something isn’t working why would you keep allowing it to occur? I think most of us go into all things with a positive mindset and outlook that things are different this time and that’s not a bad thing but sometimes what we see in others is a reflection of our own prospects and it’s that false sense of security that the ego uses to trick us into repeating the same patterns. The ego definitely gets something out of it and in turn makes us think we are in control but that may be the problem because instead of trying to guide an outcome we must allow things to be as they are, change and grow as they are meant to. In trying to control any situation you are likely to find that it gets more and more out of control because the natural reaction is to resist when feeling pinned down and disappointment will always follow. Sometimes realizations of being wrong can hurt and I know that when I have made those kinds of realizations it has left me feeling conflicted in being able to trust my own instincts. When you feel your own instincts have betrayed you, where do you go from there? Self-Reflection, is my only answer, taking a real hard look at where my missteps keep taking me.
My last life challenge, as difficult as it was, turned out to be of more significance than I had realized at first and broke me wide open but it is because of that challenge that I have found my way back to a path I started on years ago before I got so far off course. Finding myself again seems profoundly familiar except that I now carry much more wisdom, experience and gratitude. I may have fallen down at times but I will ALWAYS get back up and when I do my determination to move forward is that much stronger.
Whether or not it has been said or thought of this way I believe that the proverbial baggage that we all carry (no one is free of it) consists of many things including life experiences and it is the culmination of all that baggage that creates who we are today. I don’t know that I view baggage as a bad thing, even though some refer to it that way, I think it’s just a matter of whether or not each of our collective baggage (experiences and situations) fits or compliments those involved in our lives. Comfort with others is not found within trying to make their life (baggage) fit but rather fitting into each other’s lives comfortably and without prejudice.
You can’t change or erase someone’s past and if who they are or have become no longer feels comfortable then maybe it’s time to get honest. Parting ways in any kind of relationship is difficult because it wouldn’t be ending unless there was something that was causing it to end but staying to avoid hurting someone would eventually hurt them more.
Quote: You can choose courage or you can choose comfort, you cannot have both — Brene Brown
Changing your patterns so you can embrace the people that fit or compliment your life is not an easy task. It takes time to develop the awareness to recognize how the pattern begins and then more time to learn how to divert it but once you’ve found that rhythm you will find that what lies ahead can be positively life changing!
Shelley Hallmark 