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Tag Archives: self-empowerment

I Don’t Care What You Think!

Feeling Vulnerable Without Fear

Sometimes the protective coat of armor doesn’t cover the fear created within the mind.  I think when you’re young, you are most susceptible and vulnerable to the outside influence and/or opinion of others.  So much so that the slightest comment can feel like a horrible criticism directed at you to make you feel inadequate.  I know because I’ve felt that and maybe those that have made the comment may not have realized the magnitude in which they’ve affected me and maybe those that have made the comment meant nothing negative but I just took it that way.  I think that only time, maturity, personal growth and the always “under construction” parts of your “self” as in esteem, worth and confidence is the key to finally breaking away and feeling vulnerable without fear.

tongue has no bones

Growing into the reserves of strength I know we all have is a difficult road and maintaining confidence through your steps and missteps is a challenge in itself.  However you choose to help yourself along through the emotional conflict you’re likely to experience I think that as long as you continue to try to be better than you were the day before then you are progressing, even if it doesn’t feel like it.  I don’t think any of us realize how much inner strength there is to tap into and how much adversity we actually have the ability to withstand.  Until you are really tested, you just don’t know.

Recognizing how far you’ve come from where you were is something you can look back at after some time to mark in your mind and heart of your progress.  Any progress in a positive direction is something to be acknowledged and celebrated because you could have gone in a negative direction and that would have benefited no one.

Everyone wants to be seen and heard and not for any kind of ego boost but because it is a big part of connecting with others, the part that lets you know you matter and the part that lets you know they care.  It doesn’t take a large amount of energy to be compassionate or kind towards others and it will cost you nothing.

So how do you get to the point of saying “I don’t care what you think”?  It’s not really as derogatory as it sounds more like I’ve grown into myself enough to know that what others think of me doesn’t define me, doesn’t make me more or less of a person and isn’t going to change who I am.  It’s not a challenging attitude but rather a more “self” reflected and strengthened version, humbled and content enough to quiet the thoughts of doubt.

I think too often the focus is worrying about how others will perceive and whether or not they will like you, the bigger question is, “do you like yourself”?  If your answer is yes, there is nothing left for you to worry about, you are enough and those that matter will recognize that.  If your answer is no, then I believe self-reflection is the beginning, at some point in your life you had to have liked yourself, find your way back there and re-build from that point.

the roar of freedom

Vulnerability lies in many corners of the heart and mind and at a moment’s notice it can change your nice quiet, calm and contented self into a scared little child.  Of course there are variations of that fear and I think many of us don’t get as far as the scared little child but you get the idea.  Fear and vulnerability or fear of vulnerability, however you want to link the two, they are usually connected in some way.

FEAR:             to be afraid of (something of someone)

                        to expect or worry about (something bad or unpleasant)

                        to be afraid and worried

 

VULNERABILITY:     easily hurt or harmed physically, mentally or emotionally

                                    open to attack, harm or damage

I think both of these definitions are valid reasons for not wanting to leave yourself open to fear or vulnerability but while you may be protecting yourself from others and the possibility of something negative.  You are also protecting yourself from others and the possibility of something positive.

While you may feel protected and comfortable within the walls you build to protect your heart you are also keeping everything else out.  The most magical things happen outside your comfort zone!

stepping into your greatness

 
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Posted by on March 19, 2016 in Blog

 

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Take Control of Your Power!

Your Strength Lies Within

Everyone has the potential to be great and what you feed into (positive or negative) weighs heavily on what the outcome may be.  When you don’t reach that greatness it doesn’t mean you don’t deserve it or it’s not part of your destiny.  It could be that you are feeding into the possibility that “you can’t” succeed rather than “you can” and that mindset is something we can build ourselves through fear and insecurity.  Fear can seem overwhelming because in our minds we’ve built it up that big, but we have the ability within us to change that obstacle from a mountain to a mole hill, it’s all perception.

believe in yourself

“A change of feeling is a change of destiny”  –  Neville

I believe that a large part of “taking control of your power” is found within being vulnerable, even though that vulnerability feels scary, it’s ultimately empowering.  The reason it’s empowering is because it takes a great deal of courage to embrace vulnerability and allow the chips to fall where they may.  Being vulnerable helps you discover that you innately have a reserve of strength to draw from that you didn’t know was there and that experience is not only empowering but also humbling.  We don’t always give ourselves the credit we deserve when it comes to our own personal power.  It’s hard enough when another person is discouraging by not believing in you but when you also do not believe in yourself you begin to limit your life opportunities and options and that’s just not right.

My personal inner voice and reaction to anything fear based and negative is that “I am not going to let it conquer or defeat me”, I will persevere, backing out is not an option!

My positive mind says “No Way is fear going to be allowed to win.  Turn around and go back where you came from, you have no business here!”

Negative thoughts like fear or failure don’t stand a chance when you affirm with yourself and the universe that you’re strong and you’re not giving up.  Things only occur because we acknowledge their presence in our existence, everything start with a thought.  Don’t think negatively and negative things will not occur.

By following Neville’s Law of Assumption you can increase your success in any or all areas of your life that you want to improve:

“If this assumption is persisted in until it becomes your dominant feeling, the attainment of your ideal is inevitable”

greatness within

Once you’ve accepted yourself for who you are, others will also accept you for who you are.  When you begin to accept and believe in yourself you won’t put as much emphasis on needing to feel accepted by others and that ease of contentment and peace is a quality that others will gravitate toward and relate to.

I always love hearing a good line from a movie and my most recent that I want to share with you is one that I thought was very inspiring and something we should all aspire to, it’s similar to my own thoughts about having faith in humanity.  The more people believe in others, the more others will rise to the occasion.

“I like to think that if you put your trust out there, I mean if you really give people the benefit of the doubt, see their best intentions that they’re going to want to live up to it.  It doesn’t always work out but more often than not I think that if you do, people will rise to the occasion.  I really do believe that!”

 
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Posted by on May 15, 2013 in Blog

 

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Finding the Balance

Bring back your dreams, wishes, hopes, and faith. Dare to

accomplish what you have always wanted. There are many people

out there now doing just that—living their dreams.

The world can be unpredictable, presenting challenges and tests along the path to a better life. In Finding the Balance, author Shelley Hallmark draws upon her own personal experiences, challenges, and past relationships, to offer a navigation chart through uncertain waters. Whether you are feeling like you are at a crossroads or you just wish to enhance your own awareness, self-empowerment is the best tool you will ever have.

 
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Posted by on March 1, 2011 in Blog

 

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