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Where do we go from here,,,, and

How do we get there?

It seems important at this time to infuse as much positivity into the world as possible.  Specifically because of the time we are in during this pandemic and especially because of the state of conflict humanity seems to be immersed in over clarity of what matters.

It is difficult to grasp that with all we have been given in this human experience and in an environment that provides us with such beauty and natural resource that this is where we have come to.  How is it that feelings like empathy, compassion and kindness are being overlooked to the point of turning completely the other way?  We should be trying to make all lives better, lifting each other up to come along on the journey with us.

I am by no means pointing any fingers but I feel that this is kind of how things have gotten to the state they are at.  All lives matter!  Division of any kind serves no purpose except to exert power and control.  Change cannot occur until our hearts and minds are advocating compassion for others as well as gratitude for life.

So where do we go from here and how do we get there?

I believe it starts with reflection, checking in with ourselves to see how we each are doing, what we are doing and if there is something we need to change internally, externally or both.

  • Are you living your best life?
  • Are you being your best self?
  • Are you speaking with kindness?
  • Are you listening with heart?

It is not race or gender specific but we are all termed under the label of “mankind” although it should be “humankind” and as all of humankind are you being a kind human?  I think life gets so clouded with trying to run and excel in the human race, sometimes stepping on others while climbing that ladder, that we forget it’s not really a race at all but rather a journey.

  • One that requests but does not demand presence, intention and grace.
  • One that allows but does not enforce empathy to blossom and evolve.
  • One that inspires but does not restrict imagination of optimistic vision.

We all have free will to choose and even not choosing is a choice.

If you haven’t arrived at where and who you wanted to be yet I believe the more pressing question is where are you holding back?  There are boundless opportunities and sometimes you can block yourself from seeing them with your state of mind.  It seems like such a simple adjustment to make but probably the most common difficulty one can face and not for lack of opportunity but lack of belief in self.  It’s astonishing how we carefully construct these prisons around ourselves, how high they become and how difficult they are to take down.

Where is your passion, your purpose, your path?

I have ventured down many but when I come to realize I have made a wrong turn I circle back to find an alternate route.  I don’t view these wrong turns as mistakes or failures I instead see them as lessons, experiences that have been put on my path to help me to find the right one.  Everything happens for a reason and it is my job to figure out what that reason is and how to navigate toward something better.

I don’t want to go in a straight line, I want to investigate all the openings, look for opportunity behind every door, deviate from the plan to find any other and all perspectives because I know somewhere within that magical concoction lies the secrets of ultimate freedom and happiness.

I have been mulling over the subtleties of duality in humanity and soul.  We all inhabit the energy of feminine and masculine as a duality, the blend of yin and yang in each of us as individuals which contributes to who we are and how we move through our lives.  The question is how comfortable are you with the identification of that duality?  As evolution has occurred this notion has become more accepted but in times very much passed I feel it was a tougher go for the macho male in the sense that embracing and expressing from a nurturing or sensitive state was thought of as too feminine and a sign of weakness.  When you are open to realize and embrace that part of your duality you expand possibility, awareness and consciousness.  Of course when the ego is trying to control or overrun the spirit instead of allowing it to blend I feel it comes out through a variety of ways as well as a heavy overcompensation to be seen as more masculine.  Nurturance or sensitivity is not weakness and those who are comfortable, content and aware of its power have learned this.

It seems to me there is a misconception and misinterpretation that sensitivity is linked to vulnerability and as such is the definition of someone who is less than.  For anyone that has dared to show and expose their own vulnerability which certainly proves to be an increasingly higher risk has learned that it is strength in its purest form.

Lack of belief in self can impede your evolution of awareness and understanding as to how important the ego/spirit blend is, leaving you open and vulnerable to infection of egocentric behavior.  There are no positive aspects in egocentric, it serves only to demoralize and is expressed recklessly and outwardly through some form of abuse.  Left unchecked it evolves and escalates to degrees that deconstruct everyone and everything in its path.

It feels to me that this perpetuated segregation requires global response of equality and emancipation for all.

We are not born with hatred in our hearts.  Negativity comes in externally and sometimes sifting through it to filter out the pieces that do not fit can feel daunting.  Developing an empowered and stronger sense of self has never been more important!

 
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Posted by on July 4, 2020 in Blog

 

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Got Humor?

Keeping It Real

Don’t take life too seriously!  Humor is an essential part of keeping yourself in check and preventing your ego from getting away from you.  Being able to laugh with others and at yourself can spread joy and make even the grumpiest person smile.

Laughter can be contagious even if you didn’t hear the joke.  When I was 10 years old my classroom teacher had made the decision to test the laughing theory only we (his students) had no idea of his plan.  We walked in after lunch period and he was roaring hysterically, slapping his hand on the desks and acting like he couldn’t possibly contain it.  None of us had a clue why but he kept it up and soon all of us (the entire class) were also roaring hysterically and then all of a sudden he stopped on a dime and asked us “why are you laughing?”.  It took all of us a moment to settle ourselves down from the laughter but of course we had no idea why.  One of the kids in the class said that they were laughing at the sounds of his laughter and his actions and everyone in the class had agreed that was also their experience.

It’s strange to me that even though that experience doesn’t sound so significant, it actually was.  I think it was the fact that even though we all had no idea what the joke was we felt compelled to laugh and share in the joy, he was teaching us and we didn’t know it.

I think we all need and want joy and happiness in our lives and it’s important to maintain some form of silliness in at least one area of your life no matter what age you are because that’s what keeps us young in spirit.

laugh,audrey hepburn

Life can be so overwhelming, challenging and demanding at times and those times can take a toll on the health of your spirit but I believe that laughter can alleviate those wounds or scars, even if it’s only momentarily, sometimes that can be enough.

One night I caught a blurb on the local news about a new class that people were taking up, similar to a yoga class, but they would gather to laugh together, joyous, crazy, out there laughing.  The people they interviewed said they felt it helped to alleviate their stress and kept them young.  I agree and I think that it’s an outlet, similar to exercising, competitive sports or a spa day.  All of these things can alleviate the daily stresses that life builds up and I think that laughter is a very valuable tool and asset that we have at our disposal and probably the easiest on our system to access.  I’ve played a number of different sports all my life and the injuries that can occur are more likely with sports then just plain laughter.  I don’t think I’ve ever heard of anyone actually “pulling their abdominals” because they were laughing too hard.

In addition to the joy of sharing in laughter with others, it is also very beneficial to have a healthy ability to laugh at your own foibles.  When you are able to do that it helps to alleviate the pressure and reduce the expectations you may put on yourself.  There’s nothing worse than holding yourself to measure up to your own standards, chances are they are higher than any standard you hold for anyone else, at least mine have always been.  Being able to laugh at myself has helped me to let go of my mistakes so I can learn that they are just mistakes and not failures.  I used to view an expectation that didn’t go the way I had wanted as a result in failure and that’s not necessarily the best way to view it.  My humor, which is a form of the word humility has allowed me to put things in the perspective they should be in and to laugh when things are just plain funny.

The first line of one of my favorite quotes by Ralph Waldo Emerson is “To laugh often and much” and that’s something we should all do to maintain a healthy balance.

laughter,spirit

 
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Posted by on May 8, 2013 in Blog

 

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Stress for Less!

Can You Afford It?

I think we all can, it’s just a matter of figuring out what strategy works best for each of us as individuals because what works for one doesn’t always work for another.  Everything that goes on in our daily lives can be considered some level of stress, the more you have on your plate, the more you have to manage and that can create stress.  Remember when you were young and the most you had to manage was who’s house you were going to play at?

Even though we have more technology to help us manage it all, we still even have to manage the time we put into that as well.  Crazy!  That’s like stress upon stress, no wonder some of us are so frazzled at the end of the day.

stressed

I have been told that I normalize stress, which actually seems to work in my favor because that adaptation provides me with the benefit of not having my stress affect my overall health and well-being.  It no longer feels like stress because I have altered my perception which has in turn allowed me to adapt faster than I would have in the past.

How do you deal with the everyday stress in your life?  Is it healthy and productive or dragging you down?

Stress can affect us medically in so many different ways and just as we are all unique, so is our internal reactions to stress.  Stress starts on the inside, it’s an emotion that can wreak havoc on your entire system and alter your quality of life either mildly or drastically.

Stress SymptomsSome of the ways I have noticed the effects of stress are:

–          Internalizing:  Holding in your stress is similar to holding in any other emotion.  It can only be bottled up for so long before it blows up and depending on what your breaking point is it could have either mild or major negative results.

–          Vocalizing:  Definitely not holding in stress but rather allowing it to have its effect in the current moment.  How beneficial this is depends on how you are vocalizing your disdain, whether it is very negative or if it is productive but healthy.

–          Projecting:  I believe that when someone is projecting it is a result of holding in the emotion and the negativity of holding it in is getting close to reaching its boiling point.  The projecting could be for a period of time before the final blow-up occurs and that is because the internalization method can no longer sustain it.

–          Physically:  Stress can cause mock symptoms of many different health issues and can even have your doctor wondering what’s going on.  I have experienced this dilemma and my doctor tried so many different medications for a year and was still stumped.  It wasn’t until I changed my physical presence in a situation that everything magically went away.

You could put two people in the same exact situation and each of them would experience it differently, same goes for how that situation affected them emotionally.  So it’s not far off to know that the stress and level of it would be completely different which is why it would be so difficult for a doctor to try to follow any guideline, the diagnosis for one may not or won’t be the same for the other.

I believe one of the healthiest ways to deal with any stress in your life is talking it out with a trusted friend because that friend may be able to help you work through it, whether that is just by listening or offering ideas and/or solutions to eliminate or at least reduce it.  Honestly just being able to talk it out with a friend has been my best defence against stress as well you get the opinion of someone who isn’t as close to your stress as you are.

Another healthy outlet for stress is humor, if you can find the humor in most situations it eases the level of stress, maybe not fully but enough to make it more manageable at times.  Plus a good dose of roaring laughter does relieve stress and tension, even if it’s only for a moment.

laughter heart

 

 
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Posted by on February 20, 2013 in Blog

 

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Emotional or Physical?

Healthy Living

Our own personal health is dependent on how we are feeling both physically and emotionally.  We always pay attention to our physical health but sometimes neglect ourselves emotionally and our emotions can directly affect our physical health.  You can go to the doctor when you don’t feel right but if it’s something emotionally based that is affecting your overall health the doctor won’t be able to find what is wrong.  Our emotions are connected to everything we do whether it’s positive or negative. 

–          When we are feeling happy it is reflected in our faces, our speech, our aura and we usually feel warm and lightweight inside.

–          When we are feeling unhappy it is also reflected in the same areas but we don’t feel warm inside, depending on the source of the unhappiness and our own unique bodies that feeling inside can range anywhere from stress to depression.

Awareness of your overall health and state of mind is the key to battling any emotional setback that may be trying to inhabit your body.

 

I think we all know when something is wrong or doesn’t feel right.  Whether you go to the doctor to treat something that is physical or you identify the emotional predator trying to wreak havoc, still, the key is awareness.

I’ve actually had the experience of having something emotional (stress) affect my life in a physical (medical) way.  I can tell you the doctors were completely stumped, as was I.  It was only when I unknowingly made a few environment changes that the source of my emotional ailment was cured, of course this led to the physical ailment completely disappearing.

You can’t even imagine how surprised I was, as well as my doctor, it was only then that I fully realized how much our emotional health contributes to our physical health.

Physical and Emotional well-being should be a very important part of our lives and something that we give much attention to because when we are affected we also affect outwardly to everyone around us.

It was something I had never given thought to in the past but something I pay very close attention to now.

 
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Posted by on February 15, 2012 in Blog

 

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Who’s Got Your Back?

Quality Friends are Priceless

It can be so difficult to maintain the energy needed to deflect negativity if you have to deal with such behaviours on a daily basis or on any basis.  When negativity comes into our space it doesn’t just thrust the negativity at us but sometimes it takes up residence for a day or two within us.  It’s hard to determine how it’s going to affect us because that all depends on our current disposition.   If you are stressed or overwhelmed you are already in a vulnerable position.

It’s a similar feeling to being tired and run down and someone with a cold comes near you, it’s harder to fight off those germs then if you were well rested and feeling strong.

It can be difficult to rally up a positive state of mind and being when you’re at this point but it is so important for your health, mind, body and spirit.

In addition to journaling I also talk with my closest friends that I trust when I feel at odds with either someone or a circumstance that I feel helpless in and they do the same with me.

When I feel I can’t find the answers I need or I feel the urge for a little extra boost of inspiration I always find it within my friends.  I don’t think they always know how they’ve helped but sometimes it takes that one moment of understanding or those compassionate words of wisdom in their own special way and they’ve set me off in an entirely new and positive direction.

As single moms, as women, we need our girlfriends to keep us sane, to keep us grounded, and to keep us real.  If you’ve got great friends there isn’t anything you can’t battle, overcome or defeat.

Quality friends are Priceless!

 
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Posted by on November 29, 2011 in Blog

 

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