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Tag Archives: finding the positive

Off the Beaten Path

02 May

Finding Your Way with Feeling

Have you at one time experienced the moment, day, week or month (hopefully not a year) of feeling lost without hope or options?  Most times feeling lost creates a sense of panic and the extent of that panic of course depends on how much of an over thinker you are.  Getting a hold of yourself and your thoughts to find the way out is your best and only option.

It is my sense that feeling lost is related to some sort of conflict that you feel overwhelmed, overpowered or minimized by.

Conflict itself is just your soul’s way of communicating to you that are off your path, that you aren’t where you are destined to be.  I think many of us get so caught up in the details of a conflict that we miss the lesson while heading toward our intended destiny.  I don’t mean exactly that certain people aren’t meant to cross and/or be in your life but rather that instead of focusing on the conflict try to figure out why it is there to begin with.  What or who are you really battling against?

Keep the bigger picture in mind when assessing conflict or issues of any kind, not everything is as negative as it seems to be.  Just maybe it is meant to propel you into a new direction, a direction you might not otherwise have discovered had you not been pushed.  Maybe it is connected to a quality or characteristic you need to develop to fit into the puzzle that is your future destiny.  I kind of see things in that perspective as each of my experiences pass and I have time to reflect on what the real purpose/lesson was.  I usually find that I have gained greater clarity and that what I’ve learned or developed as a result of the experience will help me going toward my purpose.  There are some that I had to repeat, I guess I just felt I knew better at times and how wrong I was and pained to have to go through one again but thankful at least that I could look back and make the connection changing it from the negative experience into a positive result.

Taking back the power, your power, that you’ve allowed the experience to take control of is your bridge to freedom.

It is my thought that the four elements to embracing this perspective, attitude and outlook are to focus on what you’ve gained instead of what was taken away and/or needed to be shed.

Intention:  When you go into any experience it isn’t likely that your intention is to falsely represent yourself, at least I hope not.  If your intention is pure and positive than it is important to include your intention as reference when you look back to assess what went wrong and why the outcome did not turn out as you had hoped.  Everything happens for a reason!

Receptive:  Are you receptive to the thoughts and opinions of others, not in the way of dismissing your own but open to meeting another’s actions, behaviours and opinions with love and acceptance?  Allowing them to be who they are without judgement or constraint?  By remaining receptive you show that you are considerate and respectful and not trying to force a response or outcome you want which in turn shows another how you also want to be treated.  We teach people how to treat us!

Abundance:  I used to associate abundance in a monetary sense very long ago and of course that was a very naïve assumption.  Abundance is present in so many areas of life and monetarily is actually the least valuable.  Abundance in love, respect and compassion towards yourself and for others are the highest of value and my most cherished.  You cannot buy any of these nor can you force them, they are most beautiful when given freely and without attachment.  The authentic moment is priceless!

Gratitude:  It’s important to have gratitude for even the difficulties as terrible as they are because it is both good and bad experiences that shape you into the person you become.  When I have experiences that don’t turn out the way I hoped I have always concluded that there must have been an aspect of myself I needed to grow or strengthen to better serve me in the future.  Becoming aware of each and every success or challenge that has changed something in me for the better is why I continue to keep this faith.  Even the small steps matter!

When you find yourself off the beaten path do whatever you need to rein yourself back in, look for your signs they truly are all around you trying to guide you back and remember:

  • Everything happens for a reason
  • We teach people how to treat us
  • The authentic moment is priceless
  • Even the small steps matter

Forge ahead with intention, change your negative experiences into positive, stay open and receptive to welcoming abundance in your life with a big dose of gratitude!

 
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Posted by on May 2, 2018 in Blog

 

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The New Normal

06 Apr

Breaking the Cycle

I’m sure at some point we have all recognized a cycle or pattern occur or reoccur in our lives and usually not until the undesirable happens.  The undesirable being the outcome that you either didn’t expect or didn’t want.

If it was something you didn’t expect then you probably weren’t listening to the warnings your inner voice was nudging you about or your ego was encouraging you that you knew better.

If it was something you didn’t want then the outcome was already placed in your subconscious and therefore inevitable because in the back of your mind you expect it may be a possibility.

The law of attraction will give you exactly what you want to think about the most.  Your conscious mind can try to trick you into believing something but the truth of what you really feel and believe is stored in your subconscious.  If you believe in your subconscious that you are in a pattern/cycle that is going to fail then you can tell your conscious self all you want that everything is fine but deep down you know it’s not.

What I have become mindful of over time is my inner voice/gut instincts in identifying the parallels and precursors to those undesirable circumstances so I can prevent a reoccurrence.  I’ve also found that cycles and patterns of experiences and/or behaviours have many variables at the core and no two are alike which is why I say I stay mindful but not apathetic.  It is very important to remain open yet aware so you do not risk closing yourself off from the good that could come into your life.

Most of the patterns and cycles reoccur not because we aren’t being smart but because they are familiar, even when they may be toxic.  Your environment from childhood and up to adult is what you have been marinated in and in essence becomes the fabric of who you are even if the environment wasn’t favourable.  Sometimes as a result you end up seeking a similar environment not because it is what you desire but because it is familiar.  As I said there are many variables at the core of each of us and no two experiences are identical and if your environment wasn’t favourable it doesn’t necessarily mean you are cursed to end up in that same place.

Awareness is your best friend, openness is your faith, kindness is your assistant and love is your hope.

Remembering the positives from your past instead of the negative aspects is a good way to understand and learn what the experiences are there to teach you so you don’t go through it again.  When you do this it helps your soul heal so you can remain open to the good but aware so you don’t fall back again and bypass your destiny.  We all have a destined purpose and if you aren’t sure if you are living yours then just ask yourself these questions:

Do I have passion in my life?

Am I living or just existing?

I think most reasons for starting to question your experiences come after what feels like mistake after mistake or failure after failure which I can easily identify with.  I’ve had my share of undesirable experiences and they have taught much more than I would have gained without them.  The answer is to reflect and review your past for present and future purposes but don’t stay there.  Creating a new familiar and normal will bring harmony and a peaceful state of existence to all your relationships that will have you aspiring to cultivate this in every area of your life.  I know it has for me!

A life that isn’t dependent upon any expectation but rather passionately thriving, embracing and celebrating all the positives that come your way, big or small.  When you have gratitude for the little things in life it makes the bigger things even more profound when they occur and they definitely will!

Create your new normal, life your best life and live it with passion!

 
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Posted by on April 6, 2018 in Blog

 

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Out With the Old

23 Mar

In With the New!

Your negative experiences do not need to define or dictate the direction of your life.  The only way they can is if you allow the views and/or perceptions of others to taint the colors that make up your palette of beautiful energy.

It’s hard enough at times to navigate through difficult experiences but when negative influences intrude and/or threaten your personal faith your ability to stand tall can be weakened.  A continuation in negative experiences increases that breakdown in well-being when you don’t allow yourself time to fully process and heal.

Shedding the layers that no longer serve, define or fit so you can step back into natural alignment with your authentic self is the healing process that will bring you closer to living your best life.  Most likely the beginning of this kind of process is motivated more out of necessity and you may have found yourself at the equivalent of an emotional “rock bottom” which is not as devastating in reality as you may be building it up to in your mind.

Your ego is not your friend and is the biggest deterrent for the connection between heart, mind and soul.  Your ego will help your mind to create an abundance of insurmountable obstacles and no solutions all in the effort to control.  The ego only serves the ego and seeks an exaggerated sense of importance.  None of which is connected to your heart or spirit and none of which is necessary to your personal sense of well-being.

The layers that negative experiences apply to your soul neither define you nor are they valid.  Shedding those layers of inconsistency from your soul is like taking off or getting rid of an old jacket that is no longer suitable, comfortable or flattering.

These experiences are not who you were, are or going to be and it’s time to start getting rid of that which no longer serves your higher purpose or being.

It begins with you, how you personally feel about yourself, your life and where it’s heading.  Don’t be discouraged!  Anything can be turned around for the better, you only lose if you don’t try or fail to see your options.

It’s important to always remember that your spirit is stronger than any difficulty coming your way, you are not given more than you can handle or more than you can master.

Your negative experiences are meant to build you greater than you may realize or imagine.  Every person has a specific destiny here and some of the strongest lessons meant to lead you to your purpose are only awakened through great difficulty.

Your positive experiences are your blessings, the bonuses brought in to strengthen and encourage your inner spirit so you stay strong, faithful and humble in the face of adversity.

Don’t let the protective layers built by your experiences color or shade any part of your palette of beautiful energy.  Let your inner light shine bright and sparkle with all the colors of your spirit!

 
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Posted by on March 23, 2018 in Blog

 

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Forgive & Appreciate Your Way Back to Happiness!

24 Jun

Letting Go for Your Own Freedom

Don’t tell me how many battles you’ve won, tell me how many people you’ve forgiven!

I’m not sure who wrote this quote but I read it recently and it resonated with me immediately. My first thought was “Yes, that’s it exactly!” and the next thought was to wonder how many people are afflicted daily by the emotional prison that they trap themselves in as a result of not being able to embrace forgiveness.

Of course this isn’t to say that your emotional hurt is invalid but rather that it’s not necessary or fair to your inner spirit to carry it around with you like the badge of horror it can be. When you are unable to cross the line into forgiveness it doesn’t affect anyone as much as it does you. I think many people have a variety of reasons for holding on to a painful memory and while I’m sure the reason is valid it doesn’t mean it’s not having a negative effect on your life. It doesn’t mean the person you hold it against is being impacted in any way whatsoever and it doesn’t mean that by holding onto it that eventually retribution will come.

Forgive: stop feeling angry or resentful toward (someone) for an offense, flaw or mistake 

Easier said than done, believe me I know! When someone hurts you deeply it’s not just the emotional pain of the hurt but the emotional attachment you have to the person that has hurt you.

People you don’t have any attachment to can’t hurt you so much because they lack that personal connection. Those closest to you know where your soft spots of vulnerability are and you know theirs but it is because of a mutual trust that neither of you intentionally try to use them against each other. It is when trust is broken that hurt happens and that hurt can carry you into the mode of defense which raises your guard. The only thing that lowers that guard is honest and open communication and the willingness for resolve but sometimes that’s not an available option. So what do you do with all these feelings of hurt when there is no option for closure on the horizon?

I’m sure everyone (including myself) has asked these questions “how could you do this to me?”, and “why don’t you care?”, “how can you just go on in your life like nothing about this mattered?” Most often there is some sort of falling out or ending and if it’s the latter then I don’t think it’s likely you’re going to find the answers you would like for closure and without closure how do you let go and move on?

dirty feet

I’ve found that distance from a difficult experience, a break or mental vacation from it can be a temporary enough solution to help you put some space between your hurt and your emotions so you can find the positives from it, there are always positives, you just have to want to see them. Sometimes it may be a while until you see the wisdom behind the experience but eventually that “aha” moment peaks when you least expect it but when most open to it.

If you aren’t able to have that space to heal I believe it just means that your healing will take a little longer. Dedication, understanding and compassion toward yourself for the extra time it may take is the kindness you need to extend to yourself until you get there.

Appreciate: recognize the full worth of, understand (a situation) fully, recognize the full implications of

Being able to step outside of an experience long enough to gain clarity is the best path to understanding the “true lesson” behind the experience.Appreciation even in the face of difficulty will build inner strength and character, it has to right? I mean what else could come from hurt, disappointment and mental anguish except to get back up, dust yourself off and become the stronger person you were meant to be? It’s been said that when you don’t learn from an experience it keeps coming back around until you do, so if you have to go through it then best to only have to go through it once. Step back and really examine so you can find what it is that you are to take with you and learn. Why put yourself through it more than you have to, your experiences are not meant to break you, they are meant to build you.

As hard as it is to foresee the road ahead it is only through having appreciation for all experiences (positive or negative) that you will begin to cultivate happiness. Start with the smaller successes and after a while you will see that those successes will multiply and begin to shape a brighter, happier and more positive future.

Happiness: the state of being happy

It doesn’t get any clearer than that and where are you at with your own happiness? Happiness isn’t just for other people who seem like they have it all together. Happiness is a state of being, a state that you can access at any time, a state that doesn’t discriminate or align with only the lucky ones.

If another has done you wrong, mistreated you, taken you for granted or overreacted badly, that is not on you, it is on them which doesn’t mean you are now excluded from the state of happiness. Your own happiness depends on how you turn things around, how you want to view the world and what kind of life you decide to live.just be happy

It’s your choice but I’d suggest to “Choose Happiness”.

 
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Posted by on June 24, 2015 in Blog

 

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