Don’t Settle for Second Best

The defining moment of either of these for each of us is the intention within when making the conscious choice.

• Compromise:  An agreement or a settlement of a dispute that is reached by each side making concessions.

• Sacrifice:  A sacrifice is a loss or something you give up, usually for the sake of a better cause.

Both of these are good choices but only at the right time for you and only for the right reasons.

The questions to ask yourself when you are contemplating either compromise or sacrifice are the genuine reasons behind your consideration.

1)      Do I have all the facts?

2)      Is it because I don’t have the patience to wait?

3)      Is it because I don’t think I deserve any better?

4)      Am I sacrificing one need for another?

I have compromised in the past and each time I’ve done this it hasn’t been a good decision, mostly because the intention for compromising was influenced by either lack of wisdom or lack of faith.

My lack of wisdom was that I did not pay attention or listen to my inner voice, my gut instincts, my soul.  The wisdom I lacked was not recognizing when my inner voice was struggling to be heard and allowing my ego to quiet that inner voice.  The ego can lead us into such turmoil and can do so easily because it overinflates our thoughts into believing a tainted version of the truth.  It’s so important to allow your inner voice to help guide you during important decisions, every time I’ve ignored my inner voice it has turned into a very rude awakening and has set me back significantly.  It’s really hard at the beginning when allowing yourself to hear and listen to your inner voice but once you make that shift, it will become your default and you will hear it more often and much clearer.

My lack of faith was that I did not trust in what I wanted or saw for my future or that it would come into my life when the time was right.  I felt that it was out of my reach or a too big a dream so I decided to settle for what was available and easy to obtain in the now because I had become too impatient to wait or believe.  In settling I found that I still had passion for those bigger dreams and because of that realization I now try to recognize when that is happening so I don’t ever settle again.

I have sacrificed, although in looking back at the past it doesn’t feel so much like sacrifices now because it has taken me in directions that has opened up my world and brought in such great people, opportunities and knowledge.  It seems like sacrifice for me has been more of a leap into a greater unknown that has ultimately been of huge benefit.

Regardless of the reason you need to be at peace with the choices you make and if you’re not then it will keep showing up in your life until you make it right.  The inner voice, gut instinct, soul; no matter how you refer to it, it is what aligns you with your physical body.  If the two are not in sync then it will keep trying to align and the longer you resist the more damage you do to yourself, the more conflict and turmoil you will feel within.

I’ve realized that settling for many different reasons at different times in my life, regardless of the reason I may have had at the time, was never a good enough one and inevitably left me still looking toward what I was initially striving for.

I’ve tried to take advantage of every opportunity whether it has turned out to be a good or bad one because I would rather take the chance so that I don’t spend the rest of my life wondering “what if” and have regret. 

I’ve realized that I want to take on the challenge because then I am at least giving myself the chance to discover if it’s really something I still want to pursue, or it could lead me in a totally different direction that I might have not otherwise discovered.