Is Where Negativity Finds a Way In
If you are unable to even think of an experience, let alone talk about it without feeling re-affected because the hurt or disappointment from it was so significant then you haven’t allowed yourself to fully feel, grieve and let it go.
It’s very important to allow things to process out of your system, not just physically but mentally and spiritually too. All experiences have a direct effect on all three states of your well-being and if allowed can fester and grow resentment, bitterness, grudges and unforgiveness.
Feel the Pain: Experiences that have deeply hurt your feelings have to be acknowledged, you can’t just push them aside, focus your attention elsewhere and will them to go away. They re-surface again and again in your life through similar cycles and patterns and eventually you come to a point where you are forced to deal with them. The question is are you finally going to? Or are you going to push them down deeper?
Happiness, peace of mind and balance will always elude you if you continually resist the Universe’s message.
Grieve the Loss: It’s important to allow yourself time to grieve the loss that you feel from any experience, there is always some level of expectation in any exchange and when it’s not met resentment can occur. It’s important to acknowledge those thoughts and know that they are not wrong and are a natural result. You are allowed to feel how you feel from any experience.
Let Go: Any Loss is loss. Once you’ve allowed yourself to feel the pain and grieve the loss you’ll find that letting go is the easiest part of the process. It allows the weight of resentment, bitterness, grudges and/or unforgiveness that you’ve carried around to be lifted from where they do not belong. It’s a bigger burden than you realize and one that will make you feel a whole lot lighter, less cluttered and overwhelmed within your mind.
Regardless of how much pain was caused from an experience you cannot allow it change you so much that it negatively affects any area of your life. When you choose not to forgive, you are also choosing not to let go and by doing that you are allowing the experience to still own an aspect of your life.
Do you really want to let a negative experience interrupt your life daily, weekly or monthly, at all? When you can’t find peace with something that’s what it does, it causes a rift in your soul, that rift can affect all your relationships, is that fair to you or to them? If you think about it the negative experience is being allowed to not only continue to hurt you but to now hurt others through you, even if you don’t mean to.
The rift in your soul can cause you to feel unbalanced and that is your spirit trying to find a way to be heard, validated and soothed before you spin yourself into an unmanageable state. These signs manifest through your physical, mental and spiritual well-being and can cause and/or mimic serious afflictions within. There is a significant amount of stress you place on yourself through resistance and if you knew all of this from the beginning you would likely choose to feel, grieve and let go but your emotions are the wild card that you can’t control.
I’ve learned that even though my emotions are strong, my spirit is stronger and the voice of reason thankfully is within my spirit, not my emotions even if they do send me off on a tangent every once in a while.
Recognizing and acknowledging my emotions during times of adversity is important and having a really excellent friend to be the additional voice of reason next to your spirits’ is a blessing. At the very least an open ear of someone you can trust to help provide you with a healthy perspective can help you to help yourself find a way into the process and eventually toward letting go.
Even if you don’t reconnect again it’s important to let an experience run its course through all the phases or you risk losing the whole purpose of it. You’ve already endured the worst why stop short of the finish line when your blessing for making it through all adversity is the wisdom that comes at the end.
When starting anew it is important to leave the past in the past and face new experiences with an open heart and mind. It’s wise to remember past experiences and retain the lessons and wisdom you have gained but placing and/or comparing a new experience with a previous one carries overtones that have no place or reason.
New experiences also bring new people, new behaviours and new circumstances and none are comparable to anything from the past, they are new, treat them as such and bring your wisdom!